We can be our best friends or our worst enemies. Confidence and courage are prerequisites for not acting like an opponent of your own endeavors. Everyone has fears. But the difficulties begin when we allow them to control us. How to stop being a coward and get your fears under control? Let's look at the main ways.
Notice your fears. It all starts with mindfulness. Think about what's stopping you from being happy? In fact, this very process helps to get rid of fears. After all, despite their apparent insuperability, no fears are concrete walls – they are much less powerful than you might think…
Accept the fact that you are afraid of certain things. Many people know that they, for example, suffer from social phobia or fear of open spaces. But at the same time, they are tormented by a deep intrapersonal conflict – they cannot accept themselves for who they are. And this resistance only makes fear more powerful. Denial means running away, not fighting, as you might think. Only when you accept yourself with all the existing shortcomings will there be a real chance to work on them.
Make decisions quickly. You don't have to spend two hours thinking about what to buy for dinner. One of the best ways to deal with fear is to not get hung up on your choices. You need to make decisions quickly, because you can't become a bold and confident person without thinking about each of your next steps for half a day. We think that every decision is very important. And because of this, we begin to be afraid of making any decisions.
However, if you prefer option "A" to option "B", in fact, nothing catastrophic will happen. There will be no consequences, no one will care. So start developing the habit of making quick decisions right now. So you will release a huge amount of energy that is spent on hesitation and uncertainty.
Stop apologizing to everyone. Most likely, you think that you always have a good enough reason to apologize. However, we give you a guarantee that this is not the case. Most likely, you apologize to others or feel that you would like to do it almost constantly, without even knowing it.
Therefore, try not to say the word "sorry" during the day. Generally. Believe me, it's harder than it sounds.
Keep track of those moments when you would like to apologize automatically, for no apparent reason. It turns out that most of the "offensive" things you do aren't really offensive at all. Also, using this method, you will be able to discover for yourself that you yourself perceive as an insult actions and things that are far from being such. It will also help in the fight against cowardice.
In an unpleasant situation, make a plan of action in advance. It will give you back control over the things that cause you the most anxiety. For example, think ahead about how you plan to give up overtime. Imagine the reaction of your superiors or colleagues. Think through your arguments in advance. The usual development of such a plan already significantly reduces the feeling of fear and helplessness.
Ask yourself about everything you do at any given time. We are all made up of many habits, but not many of us understand the extent to which these deep-rooted stereotypes govern our lives. They are especially strong when it comes to the fight-or-flight option. So when you feel fear, ask yourself, "Why am I afraid?" Say it out loud. In 99% of cases, you will find that fear is irrational.
Try to practice these questions in other situations throughout the day. Whatever you do, ask yourself: "Why am I doing this?" These questions can be quite annoying at first. However, they can reveal a lot of new information about you. For example, you may find yourself prone to procrastination (which, by the way, is also often a consequence of fear), or realize the choices that you usually make without thinking.
How to stop being a coward in personal endeavors? Be boring to the point of ugliness. Let's explain. If you would like to write a book, or organize a charity organization for starving children, or just open a small business – most likely, you are concerned with doing everything perfectly. You make a plan, consult with experts, and develop a strategy. What happens next? You don't do anything. And the reason for this is fear. After all, in the imagination, all this is much more fun than in reality, where all the responsibility falls on you.
For example, you want to be a doctor. To become one, you go to medical school, get a job, and treat patients. But if you want to open your own clinic, then you immediately have a lot of frightening questions in your head. What will my clinic specialize in? Will I find enough patients? What about doctors? Will they be able to perform their duties at the highest level? The difference between these two examples is that the average doctor focuses on his immediate duties – treating patients.
If you belong to the second category, stop being afraid and do the most routine and everyday work. So you will bring your dreams closer to fulfillment and get rid of unnecessary fear of new beginnings.
All of these recommendations work for one reason – they don't help you avoid your fears, but help you resist them. By implementing these strategies in your daily life, you learn nothing less than to live with fear – which is one of the bravest things in life.
Notice your fears. It all starts with mindfulness. Think about what's stopping you from being happy? In fact, this very process helps to get rid of fears. After all, despite their apparent insuperability, no fears are concrete walls – they are much less powerful than you might think…
Accept the fact that you are afraid of certain things. Many people know that they, for example, suffer from social phobia or fear of open spaces. But at the same time, they are tormented by a deep intrapersonal conflict – they cannot accept themselves for who they are. And this resistance only makes fear more powerful. Denial means running away, not fighting, as you might think. Only when you accept yourself with all the existing shortcomings will there be a real chance to work on them.
Make decisions quickly. You don't have to spend two hours thinking about what to buy for dinner. One of the best ways to deal with fear is to not get hung up on your choices. You need to make decisions quickly, because you can't become a bold and confident person without thinking about each of your next steps for half a day. We think that every decision is very important. And because of this, we begin to be afraid of making any decisions.
However, if you prefer option "A" to option "B", in fact, nothing catastrophic will happen. There will be no consequences, no one will care. So start developing the habit of making quick decisions right now. So you will release a huge amount of energy that is spent on hesitation and uncertainty.
Stop apologizing to everyone. Most likely, you think that you always have a good enough reason to apologize. However, we give you a guarantee that this is not the case. Most likely, you apologize to others or feel that you would like to do it almost constantly, without even knowing it.
Therefore, try not to say the word "sorry" during the day. Generally. Believe me, it's harder than it sounds.
Keep track of those moments when you would like to apologize automatically, for no apparent reason. It turns out that most of the "offensive" things you do aren't really offensive at all. Also, using this method, you will be able to discover for yourself that you yourself perceive as an insult actions and things that are far from being such. It will also help in the fight against cowardice.
In an unpleasant situation, make a plan of action in advance. It will give you back control over the things that cause you the most anxiety. For example, think ahead about how you plan to give up overtime. Imagine the reaction of your superiors or colleagues. Think through your arguments in advance. The usual development of such a plan already significantly reduces the feeling of fear and helplessness.
Ask yourself about everything you do at any given time. We are all made up of many habits, but not many of us understand the extent to which these deep-rooted stereotypes govern our lives. They are especially strong when it comes to the fight-or-flight option. So when you feel fear, ask yourself, "Why am I afraid?" Say it out loud. In 99% of cases, you will find that fear is irrational.
Try to practice these questions in other situations throughout the day. Whatever you do, ask yourself: "Why am I doing this?" These questions can be quite annoying at first. However, they can reveal a lot of new information about you. For example, you may find yourself prone to procrastination (which, by the way, is also often a consequence of fear), or realize the choices that you usually make without thinking.
How to stop being a coward in personal endeavors? Be boring to the point of ugliness. Let's explain. If you would like to write a book, or organize a charity organization for starving children, or just open a small business – most likely, you are concerned with doing everything perfectly. You make a plan, consult with experts, and develop a strategy. What happens next? You don't do anything. And the reason for this is fear. After all, in the imagination, all this is much more fun than in reality, where all the responsibility falls on you.
For example, you want to be a doctor. To become one, you go to medical school, get a job, and treat patients. But if you want to open your own clinic, then you immediately have a lot of frightening questions in your head. What will my clinic specialize in? Will I find enough patients? What about doctors? Will they be able to perform their duties at the highest level? The difference between these two examples is that the average doctor focuses on his immediate duties – treating patients.
If you belong to the second category, stop being afraid and do the most routine and everyday work. So you will bring your dreams closer to fulfillment and get rid of unnecessary fear of new beginnings.
All of these recommendations work for one reason – they don't help you avoid your fears, but help you resist them. By implementing these strategies in your daily life, you learn nothing less than to live with fear – which is one of the bravest things in life.
