Working out the problems by the forces of NLP

[Teacher]

In today's article, I will share with you a tool that allows you to find limiting beliefs at the deepest level and, while working out these inner limitations, achieve change.

The article will be useful to all consultants and trainers working with the internal transformation of a person.

Earlier we touched on the topic of working out limiting beliefs.
and now it's time to expand on this topic.

The most important thing in working with limiting beliefs is focus. If you hit the core of your problem at the level of beliefs, then you can make a breakthrough quite quickly - a new map of the world will open up in front of you.

If you do not pay attention to working with beliefs, then the internal rules and past, fulfilled, connections will prevail and life will never change.

Therefore, I present to you a tool that I use in some transformation programs.

I found the technique itself in the book "Tricks of the tongue" by Robert Dilts - he is a real genius ...)))

Briefly about beliefs: our inner picture of the world, which affects everything that happens around, consists of our beliefs about the world. The world itself is neutral, but it is determined by how we look at it. When you work through limiting beliefs, you gain access to control your life.

Assignment: Write in the blank lines statements about a situation or area of life in which you feel you are at an impasse.

1. If I get what I want, then ... (What can you lose or what can go wrong if you get what you want?)

2. Getting what I want will mean to me ... (What's wrong with you and other people if you get what you want?)

3. Due to the fact that ... everything remains the same (What prevents the situation from changing?)

4. If I get what I want, then ... (What problems can it cause you to get what you want?)

5. The situation will never change because ... (What limitations or obstacles keep the situation in its current state?)

6. I can't get what I want because ... (What makes it impossible for you to get what you want?)

7. I am not able to get what I want because ... (What kind of personality flaw prevents you from getting the desired result?)

8. It won't be better, because ... (What will always prevent you from achieving success?)

9. I have always felt this problem, because ... (What constant factor prevents you from achieving the result?)

10. It is wrong to want to change because ... (What makes your desire to want to change wrong and irrelevant?)

11. I don't deserve to get what you want because ... (What did you do or didn't do. What makes you unworthy to get what you want?)

In the next technique, we will pump up these limiting beliefs with one of the simplest belief-building techniques.

Technique 2: creating opposite examples

Choose a limiting belief that you found in a past technique.

I recommend formulating the belief in the format of a causal relationship or generalization: "... because ...." and "all men ..."

Ask yourself the following questions:

1. Have there been cases when people did not achieve results in ... despite the fact that they had ... (People did not take advantage of the advantage that was)

2. Have there been cases when people, not possessing ..., achieved a result?

To work your beliefs even deeper, I recommend that you find an article below in the feed - how to remove restrictions and reach the top in results in 15 minutes a day.

If you are interested in working through these restrictions once and for all, then I can give you a deeper practice if you write to me in private messages.

This method allows you to remove restrictions in money, relationships, career and business. When our picture of the world becomes clearer and we remove limiting beliefs, the walls begin to collapse, and the obstacles that we drew for ourselves become steps to the top.

 

[Tomcat]

NLP axioms: basic presuppositions​

NLP AXIOMS and what it takes to make everything I write about work.
This is all not true, this is a lie, but if this lie works, then why not believe in it?
Any science is based on a set of basic assumptions - axioms. NLP is also rich in assumptions, but here they are called basic presuppositions: a tribute to tradition and some psychological features of "embedding" and application in life.

1) The map is not a territory. This refers to the fact that our ideas about reality are always different from reality itself, as well as from the ideas of any other person. But we communicate with the outside world, using our maps (models of the world) as an intermediary! The acceptance of this presupposition avoids many communication misunderstandings. And most of the other problems are solved by changing our inner reality.

2) Consciousness and body are parts of a single system. Just a list:
by the appearance of a person, one can judge his inner world;
by changing something in the body, we can solve our psychological problems;
our mood affects our thinking;
you can control emotions through a muscle corset;
by causing a certain internal state, we can change, for example, gait. And vice versa. Everything is interconnected! And "mutually controlled".

3) All our life experiences are encoded in the nervous system. Any past experience can be "reached" - to call it up, as if to relive it. And this is gratifying: "my years are my wealth" and my resources. Both informational and emotional. Information is experience. Emotions are energy. And what's interesting is that the way our life experience is encoded in us can be re-encoded . For example, to make a negative experience purely informational ... A kind of neuro-linguistic reprogramming.

4) Subjective experience can be divided into images, sounds, sensations, taste and smell. And this axiom is the key to the previous one: it opens the veil of secrecy over how our life experience is encoded. At first glance, there is little original here, if you do not think about the fact that NLPers even undertook to describe the "extrasensory" experience through the most common "sensing" - through the five senses. Quite successful, I must say.

5) The meaning of communication is in the received reaction. The most "communal" presupposition is the basis of any more or less effective interaction. When communicating, NLPer prioritizes the interlocutor's reaction to his words and actions and already judges the effectiveness of communication by it. Everything is clear here: the reaction is "not the same" - change your behavior until you get "that". And no reproaches.

6) There are no failures - there is only feedback. Presupposition for the most motivated. When applied to communication, it echoes perfectly with the previous one. In other applications, it significantly adds optimism and new information to thinking. By the way, from this point of view, defeats are much more useful than victories: they give us reasons (and opportunities) for self-improvement.

7) Positive intention is at the heart of any behavior. The key point here is to separate behavior and intention, what a person does, and why he does it. The question "why?" takes us to a higher level of thinking, and "looking from high", we begin to notice completely new options for behavior. But then, choosing a "good" or "bad" motive is already a matter of our conscious choice. NLPers prefer the positive. To make it easier to look for a positive intention, it is recommended to mentally add "for him": a person will not wish bad for himself! Unless only with a positive intention ...

8) Any behavior - the choice of the best option available at the moment. Everything we do is the result of our conscious or unconscious choice. It's clear. It is also quite natural to assume that we choose the best of what is available to us. Would be the best option - would use it. It's also clear. And the consequence of these assumptions was a fundamental meta-strategy for changing unwanted behavior - adding more effective choices to the person's map. As the NLPers joke, NLP is not surgery: it cuts nothing off - it just adds. And if the new option turns out to be less effective over time, you can revert to the old behavior. Or to a new search.

9) Everyone has all the resources he needs. And if a person has set a goal for himself, then be sure: he has everything for this. Richard Bach in his book "Illusions" has an appropriate phrase on the occasion: "Desires are given to us together with the opportunities for their realization." One can argue with this, especially if there is no desire to make at least some effort. Another thing is that this presupposition is really useful, and it will be easy for everyone to remember those situations from the past when some goals seemed absolutely unattainable, but now ...

10) The universe is a friendly environment, abundant in resources. I would like to add: especially when you live according to the basic presuppositions of NLP! Then every event that happens to us is a gift from the World. It can be accepted with gratitude and used as needed. And you can call the same thing a blow of fate or its insidious trick. "Do you need it?" Fortunately, I noticed more than once: life throws up exactly what you expect from it, if you want a gift, it will be. Conversely, the universe is friendly.

 

[Brother]

NLP: Speech Strategies. Theory.​

You can classify presuppositions in different ways, but it seems to me more convenient to give you the most frequently used speech strategies - these are verbal techniques using both presuppositions and some other approaches. Speech strategies, as special cases of presuppositions, allow you to imperceptibly "direct" a person in the right direction.

1. Truisms.​

Truism is (as it were) a perfectly true statement:
- Everyone sleeps at least sometime.
“We can all forget something.
- Moscow is the capital of Russia.
- You can sit on this chair.
Despite their simplicity, the truisms work very well and are very effective. If, for example, you want to help someone change, you can start by saying:
- All people can change.
Usually no one can object to such a construction at all. Because really, people can change. But the Client is also a person, therefore, and he is capable of it.
Truism helps to direct a person in the direction you need, to set the right direction for the movement of his thoughts.
- Businessmen sign contracts.
- People buy washing machines.
- Spouses not only quarrel, but also reconcile.
Another way to use a truism is to build credibility on subsequent statements. That is, to adjust.
- You are constantly changing . The "Individual" rate changes with you.
For this purpose, sayings or proverbs are often used, which we just out of habit perceive as some kind of truth:
- Whoever gets up early, God gives. If you come at night or early in the morning, then you can buy the product cheaper.
When formulating truisms, two approaches are used.
You can talk about what is most likely happening with the person at the moment or what he can check:
- You're sitting on a chair.
“This room has a white ceiling.
- Spring is now.
It's also a good idea to add the verbs "can" or "capable" (modal capability operators):
- You can feel your breath.
You can also speak the most general phrases, these very generally accepted truths, against which there is absolutely nothing to object.
- People are shopping.
“We all make mistakes sometimes.
It's good to use modal capability operators here too.
- People can learn easily.
- People are capable of completely unexpected things.

2. Assumptions.​

- As soon as you sit down in a chair, you will feel better.
Here you assume that if one event happens (sit on a chair), then another will happen after it (you will feel better).
Your task is to connect with each other unrelated things: the event that is most likely to happen (or motivation) and what you want to receive.
- Immediately after you walk out the door, you will feel much better.
For the unconscious, these two things become one. And if one event happens, the second happens automatically.

• At the same time, binding to an event that is most likely to occur acts more rigidly - a sequence of actions is included. If in the form of a "carrot for a donkey" you use motivation, then here you simply increase the desire to move in a given direction: "If you want to be healthy, go in for sports."
• But both work, and that, just in different ways.

The most commonly used constructs in assumptions:
once,
after;
immediately like;
if, then;
when;
before;
although.
- While you brush your teeth, you will remember something important.
- If you sit down, then we will begin to do.
- Before you buy this thing, carefully consider it.
If a person considers this stupid thing, it simply automatically follows that he still wants to buy it.
- If you go into the room, close the window.

• Assumptions can be made without connecting words at all, only due to the intonation: "You go into the room, close the window."

- When you wake up in the morning, you will remember that you need to bring a report today.
Here is an action that will surely happen - "wake up in the morning", and what you want to get - " bring a report ."
- After reading the contract, sign in the lower right corner.
This is a completely procedural command: read it - sign it. The fact that by putting your signature you agree with the contract, as it were, is not remembered.
- Before you agree, think again.
"Thinking" in any quantity, more than one, and agreement are interconnected. That is, I thought a second time and agreed.
- When morning comes, you will remember me ...
Poems ... Since morning comes every day, you will have to remember it every day.
- Despite the fact that you have read less than half of this article, you already understand a lot.

Motivation​

BUT! You can also link the desired action and motivation:
- Since you want to consolidate the material even better, then by next time you will bring your homework.
Here the motivation "to consolidate the material even better" is already connected and what you want to get: "to bring the completed homework".
Note that both event and motivational linking options work differently. The connection with the event is more unconditional and unconscious, it's like a switch: I went out the door - I remembered my homework. And this method has a big plus - you can bind what a person is not able to do consciously yet: anesthetizing the head and teeth, creating a new behavior:
- As soon as you sit down in a chair, your headache will go away.
The connection with motivation is more conscious, but at the same time it can be (if the correct motivation is selected) and more powerful. In this case, it works not only to make the person "remember", but also to make him do it.

3. Contrasts.​

If in the assumptions you connected two events, that is, two static things, then here you are already connecting two processes (maybe even leading in different directions - and therefore oppositions):
- The more doubts, the easier the choice!
And although it seems that doubts should not help much to facilitate the choice, here these things are tied by one rope, and the strengthening of one leads to the strengthening of the other.
In oppositions , conjunctions are used:
what ... so
as much ... as much
- The more distracted you are, the more attentively you listen.
- The more carefully you read the contract, the faster you will make a decision.
- The more the head hurts, the faster the pain goes away.
- How much longer you spend time to study, so better you will know the subject.
Not a fact, but how it works!

• Although it is possible to bind an event to an action, this is less convenient.

- Discounts! The more you spend, the more you save.
- The higher the price, the better the product.
In oppositions, as in assumptions, you can also use motivation:
- The sooner you sign the contract, the earlier we will start deliveries.
- The more you are afraid of getting into the army, the harder you will have to study.
- The more difficult the task, the greater the pleasure of the solution.
- How much longer path to the goal, so much sweeter the victory.

4. Questions.​

- Do you realize that you have already begun to understand better what presuppositions are?
Another trap. It is assumed here that you already understand what presuppositions are, just do not realize. Consciousness will seek an answer to the question, and for the unconscious “understanding of presuppositions” becomes the truth. The most commonly used verbs in these questions are "awareness":
realize
understand
you know
notice
noticed
remember

As well as any question words:
why
why
for what
how
when
where
- Why do you love our restaurant?
There is no classic question "loves - does not love", there is a question "for what"?
- Do you already understand that you are doing everything better and better each time?
Personally, I don't know what exactly you are doing there, but regardless of the answer, you do it better, I don't even know in comparison with what.
- I notice whether you upcoming changes?
Everyone has already noticed that something is wrong with you - somehow you have changed, something must have happened to you. The only question is whether you yourself noticed it. There may not be any changes yet, but if a person starts looking for them, he will definitely find them - which means that they will appear.
- Do you know that Vasya has dandruff?
There is no question whether Vasya has dandruff, the only question is whether this "terrible" news has reached you.
- Have you realized the full power of these strategies?
- Why do you devote so much time to training subordinates?
- Why do you devote so much attention to training?
- Where did you learn to express your thoughts so well?

5. Evaluation.​

- I love how you look good today.
Here, the method of masking is very simple - the listener's attention is shifted to the assessment of the situation by the speaker (writer), and the situation itself becomes kind of true.
In this strategy, evaluative words are most often used:
important
necessary
strange
Like
curious
annoys
surprises
I doubt
sure
I would like to
“I wish I could make decisions as quickly as you do.
You make decisions quickly. Especially when I need it.
- Everyone is surprised by the quality of this camera.
The quality of this camera is the truth. And she's so amazing to everyone.
"I 'm sure you'll come on time tomorrow."
You will come on time, you will not go anywhere.
- It is strange that you paid attention to this.
“Your stubbornness pisses me off.
How will a person react to a negative assessment?
Most likely stormy. And will completely ignore the built-in command: how to evaluate its behavior. Moreover, it is not necessary for the assessment to be negative - rather, it should be simply unexpected.
“I admire how this firm can ruin everything.

6. Changes over time​

- Mr. Prosecutor, do you really think that any question can be answered only with the words "Yes" or "No"?

- Yes!

- Do you keep beating your wife in the morning?

Here, the focus of attention shifts to how the process develops in time (begins, continues, ends). And the presence of the process itself is presupposed.
- You continue to recover.
The most commonly used words are:
begin
continue
end
still
already
yet
still
- Have you started to prepare documents?
There is no question - to prepare documents or not; there is a question - have they started or not yet.
- Continue to read this text carefully.
Presupposition: You are reading this text carefully.
- Do you still want to buy this item?
Presupposition: you want to buy this item.
- You are already ready?
Presupposition: you are ready.
- Until now, we have had time.
Presupposition: we were doing well.
- And yet we are able to offer additional discounts.
Presupposition: we have already suggested something.

7. False elections.​

- Do you want to buy a washing machine or refrigerator?
- Do you prefer to go into a trance quickly or slowly?
- Do you want to cut the watermelon or take it like that?
Here you offer the person a choice that is not important ... What is important is what is behind this choice. It doesn't matter to you whether a person wants the watermelon to be carved or not - it is important for you to buy it from you. But language is a great thing - you took and shifted the emphasis, you concentrated the person on the choice: to cut or not. And the question "to buy or not" disappeared by itself.
And what is the presupposition?
Let's think about the presupposition behind this particular phrase:
- Do you go to the store before or after the movie?
Presupposition: go to the store . The wrong choice: before or after the movie? Here you need to create not a choice, but an illusion of choice. You shift the focus of attention from the action to the circumstances of its commission.
- Will you confirm your participation today or tomorrow?
- Where would you like to go on vacation: Spain or Cyprus?
Are false elections just questions?
It is not necessary, although it is most convenient to present them in the form of questions during a conversation. Man thinks , that if he is active, since he answers the question, he makes choices. But this can also be done in the affirmative:
- Now you can buy our product in both large and small packages.
It works less rigidly, but the principle is the same.

8. All elections.​

You can go into a trance slowly, you may not go into a trance at all, but I think you will go into it very quickly.
You list all the possible choices. BUT! Here you simply highlight what you want to receive non - verbally - with your voice, intonation, with a movement of your hand. And it remains in the subconscious ...
At the same time, you describe the undesirable result with sadness and doubt, with your whole being showing how you disagree with it, but ... Honesty requires you to report this option as well. And the most desirable result is expressed emphatically and with the most positive non-verbal communication.
- And what is the presupposition here?
And here she is not. In this speech strategy, the desired behavior is highlighted with a positive non-verbal (and an undesirable one - with a negative one). And the unconsciously offered choice will be preferable. For example, you can say:
- You can think about it for a long time, ( with a normal intonation, the head is motionless ).
you can get it out of your head , ( shaking your head "No" and pursing your lips )
but you can quickly make a decision. (nodding his head "Yes" and smiling)
- Can you single it out only with the help of speech?
Can. Especially in the text. But in speech, non-verbal emphasis will work much better.
“You can do everything tomorrow , you can do nothing at all, but I hope you do it today.
In this phrase, the undesirable option is underlined by the construction "nothing at all" - that is, if you do not do this, then it is considered that you are not doing anything at all . And the desired option is reinforced by the word hope. Just like in the very first example about trance, it was reinforced with the word " think . "
- Is there a difference where the desired phrase is located: at the beginning, middle or end?
There is. The beginning and end of the phrase are remembered, and the middle, as it were, "disappears". That is, your preferred option should be at the beginning or at the end:
- You can do your homework tomorrow, you can write it off, but it's better if you do it today.
- Should there always be three choices? Is it possible two or five of them?
Two options are the previous speech strategy "false choices". And more than three ... You can make more than three options, but here it is already a matter of time. If the phrase is very long, your interlocutor will forget not only the middle and the beginning, but in general what this speech refers to. So 3-4 options are quite enough in most cases.

9. Negatives in teams.​

We do not persecute those who refused to place advertisements with us, we do not look after them after work, we do not call home at night, we do not send threatening letters, we do not hire crooks to carry out a showdown.
There is nothing of the kind!

Humorous newspaper "Krasnaya Burda"

The unconscious does not know how to work with denials. It simply ignores them. And it can be used.
- Do not rush to start all over again. (command: hurry up to start all over again)
The use of negatives allows you to neatly fit into the context and go through the barriers of consciousness (which just can cope with denials).
The construction of this speech strategy is extremely simple: you define a command, and then put the "not" particle in front of it.
“You are not required to rely entirely on my words.
- You do n't want to buy an expensive thing without looking?
- How will two negations in a sentence work in this variant?
Here the command: "want to buy". And whether they inspect this most expensive thing or buy it right away - most likely it makes no difference.
It is clear that "negation in commands" can be effectively used with other speech strategies:
- Why do you think that you should not pay attention to the little things? ( command: pay attention to the little things ).
- You may or may not buy this vacuum cleaner now. (command: buy a vacuum cleaner now ).
- Do n't listen to me so attentively! (command: you need to listen to me carefully).
In order for the command to work, it must either be in an imperative mood: run, shout, talk, buy. You can also use action verbs in the present tense: want, get, pay attention, apply ...
- That is, all parental shouts, like "don't run" ...
Most often, they lead to a completely opposite result. The consequences of giving a command with the best intentions will not change. The cry: "don't run, you will fall" leads to a completely natural result - the child runs and falls.
Shouts will also most likely lead to a completely opposite result:
- Do not look at me!
- Do not pay attention!
- Don't let yourself relax!
In general, messages about what will not happen often cause an influx of those who are very interested in what will not be.
- You won't find much interesting here.
- We won't talk about sex.
Denials can also be used as hidden threats:
- We are not threatening you.
- We're not going to beat you.
The consciousness of denial swallows and calms down, and the unconscious begins to worry. It's true that these things have been quite easy to track lately (training). But the worry remains.
Pivot table
Strategy
Operating principle
Constructions
Examples of
Truisms.
Adjustment.
Setting the desired focus and assessment method.
- You can sit on this chair.
- A person is able to learn.

Assumptions.​

Linking the desired outcome to what is happening or is about to happen. A variant of linking with motivation is possible.
once,
after;
immediately like;
if, then;
when;
before;
- As soon as you sit down in a chair, you will feel better.
-[/B ]Before you leave the house, call me ..

Contrasts.​

Associating the desired action with a process that is happening or will necessarily happen.
what ... so
as much ... as much
- The faster you fall asleep, the better you will sleep.
- How much longer you spend time to study, so better you will know the subject.

Questions.​

Shifting the focus of attention to awareness.
realize
notice
noticed
why
how
where
- Do you already understand that you are doing everything better and better each time?
- How did you become so successful?

Grade​

Shifting the focus of attention to an external assessment of the situation.
Like
curious
annoys
important
I doubt
- It is important that you understand everything.
- I'm curious: how do you manage to do everything.
- Everyone is annoyed by your ability to dress well.

Changes over time​

Shifting the focus of attention to the development of the process in time.
begin
continue
end
still
already
yet
still
- Have you started to pay attention to presuppositions?
- Continue to work just as well.
- Have you already learned everything?
- This topic is even more interesting.

False elections​

Shifting the focus of attention to the circumstances of the action.
or
like ... so
- Do you want to buy a washing machine or refrigerator?
- You can call me both today and tomorrow morning.

All elections​

Appropriate non-verbal emphasis on desirable and undesirable choices.
“You can do everything tomorrow, you can do nothing at all, but I hope you do it today .

Negatives in teams​

The "not" particle is ignored by the unconscious.
- Don't come to us tomorrow.
- Don't pay attention to mistakes.

Workout.​

In order to correctly draw up a speech strategy, you need to first clearly define what kind of action you want to get from the other person. All of these speech constructs work as teams. And this command should be formulated.
First, you need to be more clear about the context. So, who meets whom and what is the catch.
- Must there be a snag?
If there are no snags, that is, there are no difficulties, then I do not see the need to use all sorts of cunning techniques.
- A young man meets a girl. Outside.
And what is the difficulty?
- I would like to be more confident that she will not refuse.
More confidence in a young man? That is, we are now going to construct phrases to increase the confidence of a young person? I just don't quite understand who should tell him. Young woman? Or I suspect that the target is not well defined.
- Team for the girl: call.
That is, other methods of communication: e-mail, SMS are rejected? Good. Why do you need her to call?
- To continue the relationship.
That is, you need a relationship, not a call. What kind of relationship?
- To like it.
So. Team: you like me. True, for most young people, the very fact of a call is a criterion for what they like. Then options are accepted with calls.
What are the options for strategies?
- The longer we talk, the more you like me.
- How much do you like me?
- I am pleased that you paid attention to me.
- You can call me or email me.
- As soon as you remember - call.
- When you realize how much you like me, call me.
A bit impudent, but in some cases it can work.
- You can call me tomorrow, you can not call at all, but it will be better if you call today.
- Don't call me tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.
Good. You have dealt with the girls.
Let's take another option: a girl meets a young man. The situation and what difficulties we are overcoming.
- For example, we met at a party. And she wants him to take the initiative.
Good. Options.
“You can call me tonight or tomorrow afternoon.
- It is customary for a man to call first.
Here's a truism.
- In case you forget my phone, I give you my business card.
Yeah. And he forgets everything. You give him the command to "forget your phone". I would suggest as an option:
- To make you remember my phone even better, I will give you my business card.
At least here it is assumed that your interlocutor has already memorized the phone.
- And if you don't remember?
In the reality that you created for him - the interlocutor remembers the phone. And he will try to match.
- If you don't want to forget my phone, write it down on a piece of paper.
Not bad already. Only the particle "not" with the verb is omitted. That is, you assumed that He "wants to forget" - sometimes this technique is useful if you want to cause blackouts. But it is not suitable for memorization.
- If you want to remember my phone number, write it down on a piece of paper.
- Do you remember my phone well enough?
Better. But something you got carried away with memorization. The fact that a person will remember your phone does not mean that he will call you. And in this context, calling is more important than remembering. He does not need to memorize the phone - it is enough for him to have it. For this there are business cards, paper, pens, lipstick ...
- And what does lipstick have to do with it?
She is very good at writing on a piece of paper or on the hand of a gentleman - and the anchor is good, and stands out, and there is a reason to say:
- During our telephone conversation ...
True, this technique works well in the field of intimate relationships. When applying for a job, this will not be the best option ...
- But here there is no command to call?
You don't have to give a direct command - you can be more flexible. These are indirect presuppositions: in order to talk on the phone, you first need to call. This is already present in the experience. So, more options.
- The more attentively you look at the number, the better you will remember it.
As I understand it, this is a tracing paper from the phrase "the more carefully you read the contract ..." And a team to improve memory. That is, the main problem with men is that they forget ... The phone numbers, whose numbers are, and in general where they were yesterday ... Then the optimal phrase: "The more attentively you look at the number, the better you remember my face? "- Maybe it's better to write down numbers, and give commands for action?
- You can call me tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.
- Call me, tell me how it ended?
- During our next telephone conversation, I will tell you the continuation of this story.
Wonderful.
- Before you leave work tomorrow, call me.
- I'll write down my phone number for you, and you call me tomorrow afternoon.
Okay, pretty neat.
- I'm curious, will you call me in the morning or in the evening?
Two speech strategies at once in one phrase.
- You will go to dinner tomorrow - call.
“Don't call me as soon as you come back.
- When you call, remind me to give you the phone number of that company.

 

[Jollier]

NLP: Choosing an Anchor Resource​

There are many aspects to skilled anchoring. State invocation, set time, the smoothness and naturalness of anchoring, the skill with which the anchored state is integrated or linked to the target state, etc. In this article, we want to focus on just one aspect of anchoring - choosing a state for anchoring.
In studying the work of a number of trainers over the years, we have often heard descriptions of anchor integration like this: "Make sure the resource state is as intense as the problem state." "If the resource state is at least not equal in strength to the problem state, then the problem state can suppress the resource." Some people go even further by quantifying the intensity of the state: "If the intensity of the problem state is minus 6, make sure that the resource state is at least equal to plus 7." This kind of understanding leads us to focus primarily on numbers, rather than on the characteristics of the state. We have often jokingly called this "mathematical theory of states."

A conversation within such a framework is a sign of the presence of some simplified and unhelpful presuppositions regarding states: states struggle with each other in the process of integration, and only the sheer intensity of the "positive" state can crush the "negative." In the past, we were often taught through such metaphors of "conflict" or "struggle", and it took us a while to realize that there are far more useful ways to understand the integration of states. Because the metaphors we use to understand our work lead us to think in certain ways (and also keep us from thinking differently). It is important to review these methods from time to time and improve them as much as possible.

A striking counter-example often leads to a more useful paradigm, and in this case, the example of dealing with a phobia is very beautiful. Phobia is one of the most intense conditions a person can experience. And at the same time, the resource that is used in working with phobias - dissociation - is a very restrained state that most people would not describe as intense at all!
This counter-example demonstrates that it is not the intensity or quantitative indicator of the resource state, but its specific qualities, that make this state useful in changing problematic experiences. The resource state for focusing on mathematics will be internal and involve very little proprioceptive kinesthetics, while the resource state for skiing will be very outwardly expressed and involve subtle differences and feedback in the kinesthetic system. While none of these resource states are particularly “intense,” each is a powerful resource for the associated skill. On the other hand, each of these states is not a resource at all for another task; they can be hindrances. A skier who is trying to do math in his ski resource state.

For many years people have said that we only use 10% of our brain. We don't know how they arrived at this figure, but the intent may be to convince people that they are capable of more than they think. It should be noted that using 100% of our brain is not particularly beneficial, because this is what happens with an epileptic seizure or with electric shock treatment. The problem is not that we only use 10%, but that we sometimes use the wrong 10%. When we do a good job at a task, we may well use significantly less than 1% of our brain, but this is a suitable 1%. What we achieve when we successfully anchor a resource is that we find the missing neurology that is necessary for a particular outcome.

When a person gets stuck in an unpleasant state, it is because he is missing out on some ability or skill that would allow him to cope with a situation that is important to him. Or, to put it another way, he does not have instant access to the neurology appropriate to the task. The intensity of a person's response is associated with the significance of the problem situation, and not with the difficulty of the situation as such. A very minor difficulty can cause a very intense reaction, and often a very minor and simple resource will solve the problem. The wire in the car's ignition is a very small part of the car, but it can make a difference whether the car will drive or not, and in order to pull up this wire and completely cope with the "problem" of the car (as well as the problem of the car driver),
The human brain has many different abilities and skills, and each of them is carried out through a specific sequence of neurological events. Anchoring a fortune is easy. Choosing the right state for anchoring is much more important.

It is often appropriate to let the client choose, since the client (and the client's unconscious mind) knows a lot more about the problem situation. "What resource would make a powerful difference for you in this situation?" "Which of your many personal abilities and skills would be truly helpful to you in this situation and change it into one that is easy for you to deal with?" "When have you faced a similar situation in the past, to which you managed to easily find a resource and cope?" "What would it be like if you had the ability to deal with this situation in an absolutely satisfying way?"
However, it happens that the client has no idea what state would be beneficial (or he may think he knows and is making a bad choice!). A search of the client's personal history may not find a single similar situation that has worked well in the past, and the “as if” box may be empty. In this case, a capable NLP practitioner can collect enough information about the parameters of the process and the content of the problem state in order to be able to anticipate the state that will become a powerful resource in a particular context to achieve a certain result ( as in the example of resource states for skiing and practicing mathematics). A detailed understanding of the strategies, submodalities, etc. that a person uses in a problem state can provide high quality information, which will allow you to predict the resource state with significant accuracy. However, the intensity of the problem state is the least useful piece of information; which tells you only about its significance for a person.

One of Milton Erickson's greatest skills was his ability to pinpoint the exact resource state a client needs in order for the desired change to occur. He was particularly experienced in gaining access to “what the client knows but does not know what he knows,” or, in other words, the unconscious mind. In working with a woman who was in severe pain in the final stages of cancer, he found the pain-free state that would occur when a hungry tiger entered a room. "And just how much pain would you feel if you saw a hungry tiger that slowly walked through this door, licking its lips, and just looking at you?" Working with a woman who was paralyzed from the waist down and could not consciously control her urination, he suggested a situation in which she imagined herself sitting in the toilet.

Ultimately, of course, "if you don't try, you won't know." The client's non-verbal response after the selected state has been accessed and anchored into the problematic context is what communicates: it is a resource for a specific situation. As an exercise, we would like to offer you a 20-year-old description of one client and invite you to select a specific suitable resource state in order to solve his problem.
The client's complaint is that he doesn't like kissing his wife because her breath smells bad. Both he and his wife want to hug and kiss more. But for him, her breath just smells bad, so he tends to avoid close contact. This has been a problem since they first met over a year ago; they got married despite this. She tried mouthwash, pills, etc., but the effect was only temporary, and none of them liked the smell of the drugs. Most aspects of his marriage were satisfactory, but the problem was difficult. We scrutinized the “secondary benefits” moment very carefully and carefully and found none. Suppose the smell of her breath cannot be changed. (This may have a biochemical basis; they now have a daughter, whose breath has the same distinctive odor).
We strongly recommend that you pause now and think about what you would do in this situation. What resource state would you choose for anchoring? Continue reading only after you have selected one or more options, and you will have the opportunity to learn a thing or two about how you think and how you could usefully add a few options.

Some people choose a condition in which there is no odor, such as a stuffy nose, or situations in which a chemical such as ammonia hits the nose. While this would work, it equates to prescribing amnesia for the rape victim's memory of the abuse, which illustrates an approach that can be roughly described in mathematical terms. Amnesia, or numbness, or lack of smell are all examples of subtraction experiences that have some dangers. When experience is subtracted, the person has less information, fewer skills, less sensory sensitivity, fewer resources. In short, he becomes a less capable person and more dependent on the mercy of the environment. Amnesia for the memory of the rape removes all bad feelings, but also all useful information about the incident. which could be used to protect a person in the future; and this makes the person more vulnerable to repetition. A lack of sense of smell would make a person more vulnerable to the potentially damaging effects of tainted food or gas leaks.
In contrast, good NLP work is always additive. We always want to add information, skills, sensory sensitivity, resources to make the client a more complete person and more able to perceive, choose and respond to events. Thus, the task of choosing a state for anchoring is reduced, at least, to the question: "What experience can we add to change the situation?"
We have observed one trainer who always anchors a sense of positive self-esteem as a resource. While such a condition is not a more "panacea" than any other condition; and one could make a man feel good by disliking his wife's breath or wanting to marry her in spite of this, etc. However, her breathing would still be unpleasant for him.

Another prominent coach usually anchors a state of confidence. In this case, certainty is not a good condition. What could confidence have to do with the smell of his wife's breath? Confidence can be a very useful resource for someone who is competent and capable of doing something but is hesitant about doing it. Since many people hesitate to do what they are perfectly capable of doing, anchoring of confidence can often be helpful. However, consider a situation in which someone is hesitant and incompetent. If you anchor a state of confidence, then the person will continue to try to do what he absolutely cannot do. This will inevitably lead to frustration, which is not a particularly rewarding outcome, and he / she and others may suffer if incompetence leads to physical danger.
Some people try to anchor the neutral state. From a practical point of view, it is very difficult to anchor a neutral response. At any given time, we are neutral in relation to the multitude of events around us to which we do not react, so anchoring the lack of reaction is a very vague experience. Anchoring can only be done with a specific neurological response. On the contrary, a pleasant response to something is specific (and much nicer!), So that it is much easier to access the pleasant state, anchor it and the underlying neurology.

The only possibility is to anchor one or more experiences in which the client reacts favorably to the smell. This is, of course, a suitable resource and will often work, especially if the smells that elicit pleasant and unpleasant reactions are similar in quality. Since we have not tried it in this case, we cannot say for sure if it would have worked or not; but this option is certainly a good choice.
However, it is one thing to identify a resource state for anchoring, and quite another to find a path or an easy transition to this state. There is an old joke that neurotics build castles in the air, psychotic patients live in them, and psychiatrists take rent. The goal of NLP is to build stairs or walkways so that people can easily achieve their desired results (without getting psychotic and paying rent to psychiatrists!).
The desired state is when the client has a pleasant reaction to the smell of his wife's breath. What experience would provide a transition mechanism so that the client can easily access the specific neurology that will allow him to change his dislike to liking response?

Almost everyone loves some smells that were once unpleasant to them (and may remain unpleasant to others). This usually happens because they have become anchors for an enjoyable experience at some point in the past. If you identify and anchor the very moment when the response changed, you will gain access to the neurological changes that occurred during the transition, and not just the desired state itself. It also serves the useful function of convincing a person's conscious mind that the kind of change he desires is possible because he can test it with what has already happened in his past.
Once you ask the right question, the answer is usually obvious. We asked the client to think about situations where his reaction to smell changed from unpleasant to pleasant, and he recalled two cases:
1. He never liked the smell of freshly cut hay; but one early clear, sunny morning, driving past the fields of mown grass, he enjoyed it.
2. He never liked the smell of cloves (it seemed to him "medicinal") until one evening, when he realized that he was enjoying their smell.

We anchored these two experiences separately on his hand with separate touches and then held both of these anchors, while we asked him to close his eyes and pretend that he bend over to his wife to kiss her. As soon as he did this, he said that he saw his wife's face with hay around him, and between her lips she had a carnation. (When you receive this kind of cooperation from an unconscious client, you know you are on the right track!). The over-anchoring was immediately successful, and after twenty years (and having several children), the problem has not returned.
Usually people think about anchoring states. Anchoring a process when someone makes a transition from one state to another is a very specific and powerful additional improvement. To make your future work even more graceful, we suggest that you identify the specific transition process your client needs, not just the target state. Even if the client has experienced such a state only once in his life; when you find him, he will have exactly what it takes to be in the target state. Teaching the client how to isolate and use these transition states provides flexibility and choices that are not available with static states.

• But why should your clients benefit from this approach?
• Can you think of a time when you were furious and then suddenly burst out laughing?
• How about a time when you were tired and irritable, and then you cheered up, perked up, and were in a good mood for several hours?

Or think about a time when what you thought was ugly became beautiful in its own way for a long time .

• What about the time when you were “in your own world” and then expanded to include someone else's point of view?
• Have you been very excited about the times when you were embarrassed or tired of doing NLP and then your client's process?
• How about a time when you were “out of sorts” and then passionate?
• A time when you complained about the difficulties of life, and then experienced a feeling of deep and touching gratitude just for the fact that you are alive?
• What other transitions would you like to be able to make in your own life now ... And when would you be able to make them easily?

 

[Brother]

NLP Practice: The CRASH and COACH States​

They say that the world is constantly changing, but not always for the better. In times of change and transformation, many problems arise - for example, the fear of the unknown, the need to cope with losses and the general state of vulnerability. These problems can provoke us into ineffective coping strategies: run, fight, or freeze. This can lead to temporary regression, inertia, ambivalence, inability to let go of the past, confusion and conflict.

When this happens, we often fall into a certain state, which can be described in five words:

CRASH:
Contraction
Reaction
Analysis
Separation
Hurt

To successfully complete the process of change, it is important to develop such qualities as flexibility, stability, balance, connection with reality and the ability to let go of the past. To do this, you need to stay centered, to be in your zone of perfection, to keep in touch with something that goes beyond our "ego". These processes can also be described in five words:

COACH (Centering):
Centered
Open
Attending with Awareness
Connected
Holding

These qualities are characteristic of the state of integrity and coherence of all three minds that we explore in this book: somatic, cognitive and field.

It is important to follow practices that help develop our ability to be in a COACH state (in our zone of excellence) and do the best we can, especially in difficult life situations. When life is easy, it is not difficult to maintain balance, but in order to maintain balance in difficult times, you need to develop the qualities of COACH until they are “in the muscles”. Preparing for change requires constant practice to face the times of change.

Previous generations of NLP focused on techniques. Third generation NLP emphasizes the importance of practice as a key element of generative change and preparation for the future.

Find your zone

The next exercise is based on a simple yet powerful inner play technique that we borrowed from our colleague John Welwood ...

We've adapted and changed it a bit to include all the elements of the COACH state ...

1. Sit or stand comfortably with your feet flat on the floor, straighten your spine, and relax your back. Breathe evenly with your belly. (Rapid and shallow chest breathing indicates that you are under stress.)

2. Pay attention to the soles of your feet (that is, place your mind in them). Be aware of the universe of sensations in the soles of your feet. Feel your heels, thumbs, instep, and ball of the foot.

3. Begin to expand your awareness to include the volume (three-dimensional space) of the feet, and then bring your attention to the lower legs, knees, upper legs and thighs. Be aware of the center of the abdomen, breathe deeply through it, and say to yourself, “I am here. I am present. I am centered. "

4. Continuing to be aware of the lower body, pay attention to the solar plexus, spine, lungs, chest and shoulders. Be aware of your heart center at the top of your chest and tell yourself, “I am open. I'm opening up."

5. Continue to expand awareness: Pay attention to the upper arms, forearms, wrists, palms and fingers, and then to the neck, throat and face. Become aware of all the senses: eyes, ears, nose, mouth and tongue. Bring your attention to your skull, brain, and the center in your head behind your eyes. Breathe through this center, fill it with oxygen and energy. Tell yourself, “I am aware. I am awake. I have a clear mind."

6. Remaining in contact with constant physical sensations in the body, starting from the feet, including all three centers (stomach, chest and head), be aware of the space below you, to the very center of the Earth; space above oneself, going into the sky; all space to the left; all space to the right; all space is behind you; all the space in front of you. Feel a deep connection with the feet and centers in the abdomen, chest and head, with the environment and with the field around you. Be aware of the vast array of resources available to you, both within you and in the field around you. Tell yourself, "I am connected to everything."

7. In this state, you will be able to hold all the resources, strength, intelligence and wisdom available to you, as well as unpleasant energies - fear, anger, sadness, and so on. Recognize this ability and tell yourself, "I am ready to accept whatever comes out."

By practicing this COACH state, staying in the zone of excellence, you will be able to more and more often remain calm and clear in any situation.