How do I answer awkward questions?

[Carding 4 Carders]

Throughout our lives, we are asked a huge number of uncomfortable questions. Sometimes we are simply asked about something by tactless people, sometimes by provocateurs who deliberately try to embarrass us and throw us off balance. In any case, you should be able to answer them, because you cannot get rid of the questions themselves, but getting rid of awkwardness and embarrassment when answering is a feasible task. This article aims to explain how this can be done.

Substitution of the thesis
If you are uncomfortable answering a question, answer another. Only this must be done carefully and inconspicuously. It is better to consider the substitution of the thesis with an example:
- How much do you earn?
- Much more after the promotion! I am very glad that our company provides conditions for career growth and encourages those who really work hard. In another company, my efforts may not have been noticed, but here everyone gets what they deserve.

An approximate scheme of this technique looks like this:

1. We answer the question, but we do not give any specific information. The answer should cover a topic that can later be developed.
2. Smoothly moving on to another topic, which is not related to the original question, but follows from the beginning of our answer.

Politicians use this technique very skillfully. Watch a TV show where they answer questions and you will see how this powerful way to get away from an awkward question can be used effectively and discreetly.

Counterquestion
If you don't want to answer an uncomfortable question, ask yours. You will either gain time and come up with something, or, with the skillful use of the technique, make the questioner turn into the answer.

To avoid answering a question with this trick, you need to try to pass off your question as relevant and really necessary. Avoid closed-ended questions (which can be answered yes or no) and questions that can be answered quickly and easily.

Example:
- Where did you go on vacation this summer?
- First, tell us where you yourself have been!

If the interlocutor answers dryly, to the point and without unnecessary details, ask clarifying questions. For the described situation, these, for example, may be the following questions:

1. Where were you last year? Did you like it better or vice versa? Why?
2. What options did you choose? Do you regret that you went there and not to another place?
3. Would you like to go there again? Why?
4. What are your plans for your next trip? Have you already decided where to go?

If the interlocutor does not want to "talk" or stubbornly does not forget that he asked the question, and insists on it, you can combine this technique with the previous one:

- Oh, you know, and my friend recently went to Greece. Tells that ...

Scrapping the script
When you are asked an uncomfortable question with the aim of provoking, unsettling, or embarrassing, as a rule, the person asking in advance guesses how events will develop.

But you can rewrite this script. In their favor, of course. Think about why you were asked a certain question and what kind of reaction is expected from you. Behave not as the provocateur planned. Break his script with your answer.

Example:

Let's say you have been in a relationship with another person for a long time. You are even planning a wedding, but you and your soulmate would like to arrange a magnificent holiday, but, unfortunately, there is not enough money for that.

The provocateur knows or guesses about the financial side of the matter and publicly asks the question: “When will we take a walk at your wedding? What are you postponing? " Obviously, he expects you to guiltily admit that you do not have enough money, or come up with some ridiculous excuse, but in both cases you will be very embarrassed.

Break the script! Say that this is the most important day in your life, you would like to celebrate it in a big way and will soon save up the necessary amount. The downside is that the provocateur expects you to be ashamed and either hide the real reason, or feel insecure and guilty. If you answer confidently and calmly, contrary to the plans of the provocateur, his verbal attack is doomed to failure.

Most often, provocateurs are waiting for your embarrassment, but as soon as you show that this question is not at all uncomfortable for you, you win.

Postponement of the question
If you cannot find an answer to an uncomfortable question, you can postpone it. Thus, you will give yourself time to think about the answer and your further actions in general.

Use phrases:

1. You are a little ahead of the curve, I will answer your question a little later.
2. Before answering this question, you need to pay attention to the following aspect ...
3. You know, you asked a very interesting question, I need time to answer it.
4. That's a very good question! Let's look at some details now, and only then we will formulate an answer to it.
5. An interesting question, but first I would like to say this about ...

In a private conversation, this technique may not always work, but during a public speech, this trick is your lifeline. It is unlikely that any of the listeners will begin to argue with you and insist on an immediate answer.

But if this happens, use the following trick: invite the author of the question to the stage and offer to discuss this topic. Usually, when a person ceases to be part of the crowd, he is no longer so brave, he does not feel the support of other listeners. Before that he was one of many, but now he is on his own. If you have a high enough authority, you made an impression with your previous speech or wittily summoned this provocateur to you, then the audience will rather be on your side, and the author of an uncomfortable question will feel it. He would prefer to avoid such a discussion and agree to a postponement of the matter.

If you have postponed a question until the end of the talk, you may not answer it at all until asked. Many viewers, including the author of the awkward question, may have simply forgotten what you promised to answer at the end. And you, too, will not be reprimanded for it - after all, you too could have simply forgotten.

Think back to the last uncomfortable questions you were asked. Try to come up with answers to them using these techniques. Happened? I hope you answered “yes”, and in the future they will not confuse you.

Wish you success!