The Inner Critic: How to Overcome Him

[Teacher]

For a young child, the words of parents, teachers and other adults are almost always taken as true. He listens to them as he grows up, not assessing their significance in any way. The task of parents and teachers is to help the child adapt in society, but they do not always do this in a form that is constructive for the child. Growing up, a person literally absorbs the voice of his parents or those significant people who participated in his upbringing. As he gets older, he begins to criticize and evaluate himself in the same way as others criticized and evaluated him earlier. The outer voice becomes our inner critic and accompanies us in everything we do.

Usually his voice sounds as strict as if our parents were talking to us. And at the first sounds that indicate its appearance, we begin to feel like a helpless little child. “It looks like you've been thinking a lot about yourself lately! Dreaming of a better life ?! Just look at yourself! You don't deserve anything good! Don't make people laugh! You can't even connect two words, but are you going to be a leader? This is ridiculous and stupid! Forget about a happy life! Your place is where you are now. Abundance? These are all empty dreams. You have never seen or will see anything good in your life. And all because you are simply unworthy of anything better than what you have! "

The inner critic is in a hurry to find flaws in everything. For him, we never meet his requirements. He considers all our actions only from the point of view of the number of mistakes we have made. The concept of "success" does not exist for him. He seeks to suppress any of our undertakings at once. The concept of "correct" is a relative phenomenon for him, even if we ourselves are sure that we have not made a single mistake. Next to him, we feel depressed and overwhelmed. He constantly forces us to make excuses to him. Wanting to free ourselves from the yoke of his criticism, we usually try to convince him or prove to him that we are right. But fighting him is not only meaningless, but also useless. He is part of our psyche. It is a voice within us, but it is not us. And yet, sometimes, when we allow him to take a little more inner space for his self-expression, he can turn into a despot who resists all our endeavors. At such moments, he strives to be in the very center and allows himself not to be shy in his statements - making the most unflattering judgments and assessments about you. Criticism can be re-educated into an assistant. Fighting with him is pointless and useless. Such dialogues can take all the forces. The critic is our inner part, so we can never get rid of him completely. Be correct, delicate with him, but do not give in. Don't let him go overboard. Explain to him that you respect his desire to make you better. But his criticism does not help and does not help you in this. By criticizing, he only does harm. Express your gratitude to him for that he strives to make you perfect and approaches his business very responsibly and seriously. However, remind him that you are his master and ask him to express his thoughts in a constructive way. You certainly need his support, but you would like to hear constructive criticism from him, not venomous monologues. Every time you hear his voice, answer him: “Thank you for taking care of me. What specific advice can you give me? "that you care about me. What specific advice can you give me?" that you care about me. What specific advice can you give me? "Every time you hear his voice, answer him:" Thank you for taking care of me. What specific advice can you give me? "That you care about me. What specific advice can you give me?" What specific advice can you give me? " Every time you hear his voice, answer him: "Thank you for taking care of me. What specific advice can you give me?" That you care about me. What specific advice can you give me? "What specific advice can you give me?"

To make the work with your inner critic more fruitful, I suggest that you also do the following exercise.

Imagine you receive an email from someone who admires you. It can be either a real person from your life, or a historical person, it can be your patron saint. Write such a letter to yourself. Imagine what this person, who is your supreme example, would say. How would he respond to criticism? What advice can he give you? How could he support you? What praise would you give you? When you were a child, losing parental and teacher approval could be perceived as a threat to you. But now you are older and less dependent on the approval of the world around you. Now you can choose for yourself: listen to the voice of a critic or look at yourself through the eyes of a parent who loves you. When we work productively with the inner critic, a tremendous amount of repressed energy is released. Energy of creativity, creation.

 

[Tomcat]

How do you make friends with your inner critic?​

In each of us there is a harsh Inner Critic who swears, presses and squeezes, lowering our self-esteem. But it turns out that the Inner Critic can be our best friend.

The Inner Critic is constantly being silenced, especially by those creatives who are at a dead end and dream that the aching critical voice in the back of their minds will disappear. Unsurprisingly, there is a wealth of advice written on how to ban, silence, or destroy the Inner Critic. And by the time the creative thinking gurus have finished, the Critic has been shot better than Kill Bill's characters.

But have you ever thought about why the Critic keeps coming back for more? Is it because the Critic is really a very important part of your creative process?

If you think the same way, then without the Inner Critic you will be in big trouble. Without some kind of internal quality filter, you will happily produce any old junk and join the ranks of the mediocre. Honed critical thinking is one of the things that separates the creative professional from the legions of amateurs.

In the words of musician Mike Munday: “A good author and a great author have about how many ideas - some are good, some are wonderful. But the great author knows how to distinguish them."

And the Inner Critic of a great author is the difference that makes the difference. Because a great author listens more sharply and thinks more sharply. So the Inner Critic is not the enemy, he is just an overly zealous friend who evaluates too passionately and does not think about your feelings. We all have real friends who do just that from time to time.

The trick is to get the Critic back into the game, but in a way that the criticism he shoots at you is really constructive. To be like an inspiring mentor who encourages you to do your best and accepts nothing less, but in a supportive and encouraging tone.

Criticism and creativity are not mutually exclusive

One of the sacred cows of the creative industry is that we must separate the stages of idea generation, implementation and evaluation, because they do not collide with each other. But my experience as a writer and trainer suggests that many creative professionals don't work that way.

When I write, I read, evaluate, and edit at the same time. I write a few sentences, pause, and go back to reread them. Sometimes the lack of expression in a thought or picture is obvious, so I make changes right away before continuing. If I get stuck, I stop and read a whole piece, trying to grab a thread of inspiration that I lost somewhere out there. When I see where I am confused, there is relief, and I can untangle the knot and continue working.

For all this, I have to thank my Inner Critic. And I hear similar stories from many of my clients, including musicians, designers, filmmakers, painters and all other creative professions - so I'm pretty sure this is not just a writing hassle.

Yes, it's good to have some time when you're most focused on coming up with ideas, tinkering with a prototype, or getting your first sketch as fast as possible. But the next time you do it, you may find that you are bringing your keen critical mind into play even at this stage - so that you will improve your work even at the initial stage of creation.

It's also helpful to take the time to review your work, especially towards the end of the project. But even when you criticize your work, you will probably find that you are itching to redo or fix something, and you call on your free imagination to come into play. Once again, creativity and criticism work hand in hand.

How to get the Critic back to your side

So what is going to change all of this in your job on Monday morning? Here are some suggestions for embedding Inner Criticism into your creative process in the most useful way.

Experiment with one or two at the same time to see which one works best for you.

Before you get to work, take a moment and think about the benefits of having sharpened critical thinking - understanding how good work comes out, knowing how to evaluate your work and improve it. Sometimes this understanding is all it takes to calm your Critic.

It can be useful if you write / draw / experiment in one workspace and evaluate and review your work in another.

Another thing to try before you start is to say to yourself, "I'm not really going to start right now, I'm just going to sketch some" - or scribble a few notes, or whatever you're doing there.

When you are working and the Critic starts whispering to you that the project is bad, ask yourself, "So what does this project need instead?" or "What should I do to make it better?"

If the Critic continues to interfere, promise yourself that you will critically evaluate what you have done at the end of this stage of execution - and you will give yourself the opportunity to ignore him and continue to work with inspiration.

When were you most grateful to your Inner Critic for critical judgment?

Do you agree that your Inner Critic is potentially your best friend?

Do you have any tips for using critical thinking more effectively in the creative process?