Act 1, in which they kindly tell me about other scammers.
Everyone has heard of modern telephone scammers. Many have heard about how seemingly innocent acquaintances fell for their bait. How to avoid becoming a victim? It would probably be useful to know the scenarios of such “divorces” in advance in order to be mentally prepared. Not only don't get hooked. But also be able to “keep the conversation going.” Why let such interlocutors go right away? Let them suffer a little, waste time on what seems to be an almost ready victim. Perhaps with this waste of time you can save a couple of real victims of these bastards.
I get calls like this sometimes. And I must say, I always immediately sent such callers. But after the past, which happened about a month ago, I thought, am I doing the right thing? I decided to try to make an effort next time and conduct a more detailed “interview.” And now, today this next time happened.
In this post I provide a transcript of the first part of the conversation. I'll add audio later, once I figure out how best to do it. If you find such content interesting, three more parts await you. Where there will be something to smile about.
I received a call from the number +7 495 201-57-37. I have no idea whether this is a Sberbank number or not. In our modern reality, this no longer seems to matter. Later, I received a message on WhatsApp from the number +7 968 898-41-99 with an agreed document (damn, that’s hilarious) about the need to transfer my funds to an account in the most secure bank in Russia (and yes, this is not Sberbank, according to their “employees "). But more on that in the following parts.
During the communication process, “false Dmitry” often used my name and patronymic for a more insightful conversation. I successfully cut all this out from the audio and text. And it turned out quite voluminous. Also in the audio, all sorts of pauses, groans and sighs, which were generously diluted with our conversation, were cut.
All financial data from the conversation is completely fictitious and was made up on the fly.
The purpose of the first call, obviously, is to gain confidence and prepare the ground for the second “entry into the brain.” So.
— My name is Dmitry Kushnarev, financial control service of Sberbank.
- So.
— Did you log into your Sberbank online 7 minutes ago from the city of Bryansk?
- No, I didn’t.
— Do you have a circle of people to whom you transferred information to log into your Sberbank online?
- No, there is no such circle of people.
— In this case, I detect unauthorized entry into your personal Sberbank online. Services on your bank cards will be suspended for 15 minutes.
- So.
— At the moment, I will fill out an application for you to install two-factor protection. I also need to ask you a few questions so that we can know how your data was compromised. Tell me, perhaps you left information on Sberbank cards when making payments in online stores?
- No.
— Do you often use public Wi-Fi networks?
- No.
— I am recording this information. Tell me, when was the last time you used your Sberbank online?
- Well, probably the day before yesterday.
— Look, I opened a statement for the previous five banking days. I see that the login was made from three different mobile devices, two based on Android, one based on iOS. Which of these three devices did you use directly to log into your Sberbank online?
— I used an iPhone.
— Have you taken devices from third parties to log into your Sberbank online?
- No, I didn’t take it.
- In this case, iPhone and Android are also not authorized devices.
- Why, if I used it, an iPhone?
- Sorry, I let it slip, two androids are unauthorized. Look, I’m including them in the financial claim so that these devices are blocked from entering your Sberbank online. Tell me, when was the last time you used your Sberbank debit card?
- Also probably the day before yesterday.
- I understand. Tell me, how many active bank cards do you have?
— In Sberbank?
- Yes.
- Three.
- We need information so that I don’t ask you for information on your cards, I don’t ask you for a code word, so that I can make sure that you are really the owner of the card data and two-factor protection has been installed for you. That is, don’t worry, I’m not asking you anything compromising. I also cannot disclose to you, even if you are a client of the bank, this is not within my competence.
— Why should I disclose something, I don’t understand?
— Information on your cards, for example. That is, under no circumstances should you provide the number, expiration date, color code and number sixteen public digits to anyone. Also your passport details and identification number.
- So.
— Tell me, do you use credit funds from our bank?
- No.
— Are there savings accounts or deposits in our bank?
- Yes.
— This information is correct.
— Please tell me the approximate remaining balance on your visa debit card.
— Probably about forty thousand somewhere.
- One thousand and forty rubles, right?
- Yes.
— One second, I request verification of this information. Well... yes, approximately forty thousand. In this case, I am submitting a request to install two-factor protection for you. Tell me, your cards are with you, right?
- Yes, sure.
— I am recording this information. Tell me, perhaps you made payments by bank transfer in stores such as Monetka/Pyaterochka/Magnit/Perekrestok over the past two weeks?
- Probably, not.
- I understand. I want you to be warned. A couple of months ago, scammers such as skimmers operated in these store chains, installing reading devices on terminals or ATMs in these store chains. These are like overlays, it turns out, either on the keyboard or on the screen.
— Is it at the checkout?
- No, not at the box office. Near the cash registers, ATMs were installed with reading devices, there was an invoice, I repeat, or a keyboard that looked some other way. Or an overlay, I forgot, where the cards are inserted. If it doesn't look the same as usual, please move away from that ATM and alert security at that store. Since they were noticed a couple of months ago, I repeat, they are scammers. This is actually why this issue of financial claim was raised.
- Yes.
- At this point, tell me, do you have any questions for me? Perhaps there was something you didn't understand.
- No, thank you, you gave me a lot of advice. I think they will come in handy.
- I understand, look, at this stage I have submitted a request to install two-factor protection for you, wait for a senior specialist to contact you to secure your accounts. Since it’s within my competence to, well, actually fill out a financial claim and transfer it to the bank’s security service. In order for the bank's security service to search for third parties using these fraudulent devices. During the next day, most likely, you will receive an SMS notification or a call from the security service directly informing you that these people have been found. You will need to come to the bank to sign a financial claim and to familiarize yourself with the list of people who visited your online savings bank. You will need to take your passport or identification code or license with you to verify your identity.
- Yes.
— At this moment, expect to be in touch with our specialist, it was a pleasure communicating with you, all the best. Thank you, good bye.
Audio recording, for those who want to listen:
soundcloud.com/webself/telefonnye-moshenniki-deystvie-pervoe
Act 2, in which I break down and run to the nearest ATM
So, from the reaction of the audience, I saw that the first act was quite successful, so I will continue. The total timing of my conversations was (by “actions”): 7:10, 18:23, 42:14, 3:51. The short duration of the final fragment is due to the fact that I realized that on the other side there are exclusively impenetrable individuals. I could have spent hours “walking” around the city, but my strength was already running out. So I confessed to what I had done myself and said goodbye.
Having hung up after the conversation with “false Dmitry,” I expected the banquet to continue the next day. But no, the gentlemen were very impatient and called me back almost immediately. Breaking my legend a little.
This time the background chatter was stronger, so there are some unintelligible parts in the transcript. Let me remind you that all the data I provided to “false Anna” is fictitious. And all the texts below are a direct transcript of our conversation. Without any literary processing.
- A-a-hello, hello! Full Name?
(this time there was a pleasant female voice on the other side)
- Yes, hello.
— My name is Ilmarova Anna Aleksandrovna, senior financial specialist of the financial control security service of Sberbank of Russia. Junior employees have relayed information that your personal information has been compromised. And, in fact, they applied for cash balance insurance, is that correct?
- Well, probably yes, I just talked for a long time with some employee of yours.
— What information were provided to you and at what stage of work you are now, please tell us.
— He said that the manager would call back and tell everything what to do next.
- I heard you. Please tell me, when issuing the card and agreement, you were offered to install two-factor protection from (inaudible) ... the manager should have notified you about the two-factor protection service. That is, additional security of the highest measure.
- You know, I don’t remember anymore. This was a long time ago.
— (inaudible)... You will now feel comfortable putting me on speakerphone and going to the online account, we must set up two-factor protection access.
- Well, let's move on.
— Tell me, have you heard anything about the application before (inaudible)?
- Once again, didn’t you hear?
- (inaudible, spelled).
— There’s some kind of background there, someone is chatting in the background and it’s really hard to hear.
- Sorry, I’m just not alone in the office. A lot of people work. Please tell me, have you heard anything about the Teamviewer QuickSupport application?
- Eh, TeamViewer? Well, yes, I heard that there is such a thing.
(Oh, they want to control my computer - this must be something interesting?)
- Please tell me what you know about this application? Maybe I can explain it to you in detail?
- Well, I know that it is for remote access to a computer.
(Really? Everything is so stupid and they will ask me to install it?)
- You didn’t download it? Have you received any download requests?
- No.
- In any case, you should not download it if it is offered to you. Now a very large number of scammers are asking to install this application and our customers are suffering. I think you watched the news and actually understand.
- Of course, yes, yes, yes.
(Damn, everything will be more interesting!)
— Please tell me, please go to the online account in parallel with my call. Check the information you have displayed and comment in full. If you notice any advertising links, the program is minimized, or the amount is displayed incorrectly. You may have some extraneous accounts. You will definitely tell me this so that I understand what is going on with you. Fine?
— What do you mean, should I log into my Sberbank online from my computer and tell you if everything is fine there, or what?
(Oh, are you going to ask me for secret numbers?)
- Yes, or through the phone.
- Well, I’m actually sitting at the computer, I can log in through the computer.
- Whatever is more convenient for you, whatever is more convenient for you, first of all. If some unauthorized work is displayed there, some (inaudible), without SMS notifications, invalid display of the amount, please tell me everything that will be displayed.
- Let's go in, just a second. So, well, here I come. And I don't see anything. Extraordinary.
- So you now have everything in the exact quantity that you had?
- Well, yes.
- Look, now your employees are informing me that there was an attempt to write off cash and they are in the transaction field. Not on a safe deposit box, not at the client’s place. Actually, the transaction field is the state of funds when they are in a suspended state. They are, roughly speaking, in the air. Not on the bank, not on the recipient.
(Here, I also gained so much new knowledge on the banking topic.)
- What do you mean? Should something have been debited from my account? Or what?
— In any case, no information is currently displayed on your balance sheet, since financial services have been suspended.
- So.
— You have now attempted to write off funds. I need to understand where the compromise came from. Directly from you, as a client. Or from bank employees. The manager who gave you the card. And, in fact, if this person is the person who sold the database with our clients, this is article 159, part two. Fraud and theft of other people's property. He will simply be imprisoned for 8 to 12 years.
- Great.
(But 159.2 is “Fraud in receiving payments”, but okay...)
- The bank cards were not lost, stolen, left, forgotten anywhere, or passed on to third parties?
- No, it wasn’t like that.
— Please tell me, have you paid for anything on dubious sites or online stores of dubious nature lately?
(Here, I admit, my imagination kicked in. I somehow managed to resist so as not to scare him away. I really wanted to know what would happen next)
- No. There were completely normal payments in stores. Nothing.
— Has anyone observed manipulations with entering the PIN code for your online service, or with entering the PIN code when paying by card?
- Don't think. They are usually afraid to come behind my back.
— In the future, please ensure that the terminal or ATM is neat and clean. There should be no cameras. Usually the minimum camera is fixed on the right side in the right corner. Please pay attention to this. If someone sees the card number, or cvv, there will be a disastrous situation for you, the client, and for us, the bank.
- Yes.
- Let's check with you, please. You have three active cards now, I understand.
- Yes.
— One credit and two debit. You must have it.
(Problem, I didn’t say anything about the credit card. Plus I said that there were no loans. Oh well)
- Uh-huh.
— For a credit card, what was the last available balance you had on the online service?
(Yeah, you think I should have a lot of money there?)
- Well, on the credit card it was fifteen thousand, so it is.
— In terms of debit balances, what funds did you have (inaudible) in an active position?
“Just as I told you, about forty, that’s how everything shines in this very thing.” In the bank.
— On one debit balance, or on several?
(How curious, however)
- On the second I have zero.
— Zero balance. Fine. One minute. Your deposits and savings are not displayed, is that correct?
(And I told “Dimka” that there was a deposit. What if there was a check?)
- Well, no, I have an old savings book, for a small amount.
— What is the current amount of savings?
(What do you care about it? It’s not so easy to remove anyway, it seems?)
- Well, 150 thousand.
- Now, one minute. I will send it to the technical department that you have a savings book. In any case, this is a fairly large amount of money; it will need to be insured. Please tell me where you are now?
- I mean, where? I am in Yekaterinburg.
— Sverdlovskaya, in Yekaterinburg. Please check the exact address, as you will now have to go to an ATM and withdraw cash at the nearest ATM. It is now unsafe to store money on the plastic product itself. If the storage of funds is questionable, unfortunately, blocking will not be available. You will now need to write off the cash balance that you currently have on your active card.
(That’s it, well, we have to go, if that’s the case)
- I’ll tell you now, just a second. Lenin 13.
(Here I tried to quickly google where the organ building is located on Lenin, but missed)
- I’ll now find you the nearest Sberbank ATM. One minute.
- Let's.
- Look, you will be re-issuing cards.
- So.
- Now (inaudible) the amount that was in your transaction field will be returned. So that you can write it off and insure it in the future. Your bank safe deposit box will be activated. Actually, I will now conclude the document and sign it with senior management. The fact that you will have a safe deposit box will be opened and you will have a new personal account. You will be given a new card with a new agreement. Naturally, you must study and read the new agreement carefully. After that, just sign.
- Yes.
— If, please tell me, would it be more convenient for you to receive a card at a bank branch, or by courier delivery?
- No, I’ll go to the bank branch.
— Please tell me which bank branch to send information to nearest to you.
- You wanted to find something at the address there. What is there nearby?
- The closest one to you then? I thought maybe you were using something else. One minute. So, Lenina 13a is yours, right?
(I guess I screwed up the address a little)
- Uh-huh.
- Just a minute then. (pause for a couple of minutes)
- Hello?
- Hello! I’ll see you now, just a couple more minutes, and... the nearest one, which is now open.
(And here it’s about nine in the evening, the majority of Sberbanks are no longer working)
- Probably a problem? Maybe we can go tomorrow morning?
- You understand that, as it were, if you contact me in the morning...
- Sberbank works so-so in the evenings. Now you will find the nearest one somewhere far away.
— You need the nearest ATM now. An ATM, in order to write off funds yourself and, in fact, insure the cash balance in a safe deposit box, on your new personal account.
- What can happen before morning?
- Until the morning, they may simply write off your funds completely without your knowledge.
- Wow. And on which card was the data lost?
— You have lost data not on your card, but on your active online account. That is, apparently they lost information somewhere.
— Maybe I should just change the password, no?
- Well, you can now in any case, you will need to change the password for your online account, in any case.
- So.
- You also understand correctly. Third parties already had your passport data and active balances.
- So.
— That is, if there was a leak of information with bank cards and passwords now, if a write-off occurs, I, as an employee, will be held responsible.
(What a twist!)
- Wow. And what will happen to you for this?
- Well, in any case... this money will simply be deducted from my salary, roughly speaking.
(Everything is so serious in Sberbank with this, you know!)
- Seriously? Will someone write off 150 thousand from my card or book and will it be deducted from your salary?
- If, for my reason, because of an employee, if I have not provided you with all the security measures and you are written off, since according to our regulations, the conversation is recorded and listened to, if a write-off occurs, I... or I will simply be imprisoned under the article... about the fact that I kind of... article 148 part two,... if in the banking regulations, you can study this information on the banking website itself. And, as it were, you also understand me correctly, if I did not completely protect my client, in this case...
- What salary should you have so that your management can make such write-offs from your salary.
- You know, whatever it is. Either way, it's unpleasant.
- Well, did you find the nearest ATM? In principle, I can probably go.
- Now there are literally two more minutes, I just can’t figure it out a little. Shows one ATM... now, literally two more minutes of your time. Sorry to interrupt you.
(four minutes pass)
- What, you can’t find an ATM?
- Look, the nearest ATMs are on Lenin Avenue, the intersection goes towards Khokhryakov. Tell me please, is it far from you?
- Well, it takes me 5-10 minutes to get there. Should I go there and then you will call me again or what?
- Look, where will the closest one to you be? On Weiner or Khokhryakov Street?
— Probably Weiner.
— If Weiner, in that case, there will be a store, a shopping center. Ah-ah-ah, now I’ll tell you what it’s called... The Uspensky shopping center is called. There will be a Sberbank ATM in this shopping center. I will be in touch with you.
- No, it won’t be convenient for me to walk with my phone. Let’s call you again in about five minutes somewhere, or better yet, in 10. I’ll be waiting for you there at the ATM. Will it be convenient?
- Okay, yes to me, in principle. Your phone is charged, is everything okay?
- Yes, yes, everything is fine. Well, then call me back, I’ll go there now.
- That's it, expect a call in this case, all the best.
Step 3, in which I receive documentation that my safe deposit box has been created
- Hello, First Name, Patronymic, tell me, where are you now?
- So, well, I basically got to the ATM. What do we have to do?
— Withdraw funds. Then I will now sign the documentation of the higher management and, in fact, you will have a temporary storage safe deposit box created. You will need to activate it in the future.
— What do you mean, I need to withdraw all the money from the ATM now and take it to some kind of safe deposit box? Or what?
— In a safe deposit box, yes, of course, for temporary storage. This is your new bank card.
— What do you mean, will I need to carry out some actions through the ATM? I don't withdraw cash from my account?
— You are now withdrawing cash. You need to make a physical withdrawal. You withdraw this money. I'm telling you your new safe deposit box. You will be sent documentation certified by senior management. Actually, of course, you keep the receipts. This is the document of the first (inaudible). And, in fact, you replenish the safe deposit box and fully activate it. After activating the safe deposit box, you will be charged 3% of the deposited funds. This will be moral compensation which...
- How many percent?
— Three percent of the cash deposit.
— Is it monthly or one-time?
- No, this will be a one-time thing now.
- What kind of moral compensation? That is, that someone stole my data?
— Yes, moral compensation, first of all, comes to the client due to the fact that I take you away from any work. According to the bank's regulations, this inconvenient situation occurred. The fact that we cannot completely protect our active clients. And no matter how much we would like this situation to repeat itself. Again, I will try to help you as quickly as possible.
- So, what kind of safe deposit box is it? Is this a new card number generated?
- Personal account. You will have a personal account certified under your manager. And actually...
- Will you be my manager?
- If you want, I can take you further (inaudible).
- Yes, it would be interesting. You have such a pleasant voice.
- Thank you! In this case, I can assure myself as a manager in the documentation...
- Yes, yes, yes.
- ... And, in fact, to send you the documentation...
- What are you saying, that you will send me something? Will this come to me by email somewhere? Or a text message or something?
- Whatever is more convenient for you. You can send it by mail. You can send documentation from bank employees via Viber or WhatsApp.
— So you can send something to WhatsApp using the same number? Right now?
- Yes, sure. In any case, after activating the safe deposit box, you will receive an SMS notification with documentation. That is, so that you not only invest money somewhere, but first of all, you put it on your new details.
- So, now I’ll first withdraw money, then I’ll wait for some document from you on WhatsApp, I’ll read it, and then I’ll go to the ATM again and deposit money into this new account? Is that how it works?
— You can receive documentation directly or after activating cash balances. Or whatever is more convenient for you.
- No, well, before I translate anything somewhere, I really need to look...
- Of course, I understand you, naturally. Therefore, let us first withdraw your funds. We are online. As soon as you say that you have withdrawn funds, they are completely safe, in principle. We send you documentation that your safe deposit box has been created and needs to be activated.
— Basically, I withdrew quite a lot of money. In fact, while I was waiting for you, I already took it off. That is, there I had, what was there, forty thousand on the map. It seems like you can contribute one piece at a time, or can you add more?
— Unfortunately, since the ATM has a limit, you will only have to deposit fifteen thousand.
“I mean, I mean, I’ll put in fifteen thousand and take the rest in my pocket, or what?”
- No, you enter all the funds that will be in your hands, 15 thousand each...
- You’ll have to come in several times, isn’t it simple?
- Unfortunately yes. We will have to perform such an operation.
- OK. Then come on, send me what you wanted on WhatsApp, as it were. In principle, I’m already standing at the ATM with money. The only thing is that what will be written there so that it is exactly clear, what is it supposed to do?
- Naturally. Do not worry. This is complete official documentation, first of all, certified by senior management. There will be a seal there, there will be signatures. There will be complete information about managers, first of all. About the safe deposit box of your personal account. And, in fact, all the information that you would need. You also understand correctly, the situation is extraordinary. That’s why banks make concessions...
- Yes, it’s unusual, of course.
- In that case, please wait, don’t disconnect.
- Come on, okay, yes, I'm waiting. Thank you.
- Are you much more comfortable? On Viber, on WhatsApp, or...
- On WhatsApp, send it to WhatsApp. I don't use Viber.
— Don’t disconnect in this case, we are waiting for documentation. Thank you!
- Come on, okay.
(pause for a minute and a half)
- Hello, First Name and Patronymic?
- Yes Yes.
- Look, now I’m waiting for your documents to be signed. And, in fact, if you are ready, then we can start working. Since you don’t have a small amount of money...
- No, no. Come on, I want to read first. In general, I have never been very trusting.
- That's it, okay, we'll wait for the documentation then. As soon as I understand that it is being opened, I will tell you, naturally.
- as if it’s strong for a long time, you can call back. I won't go anywhere, I'll just stand here.
- I think it will take no more than three minutes. We are waiting, please forgive us for the inconvenience I cause you.
(pause for a minute)
- Hello, First Name and Patronymic?
- Yes, but there’s nothing yet.
— Please tell me, when withdrawing money, did you receive a check when withdrawing funds?
- Yes, of course, I always take checks.
- Everything is fine. You save it. Please tell me the fixed amount that the ATM gave you now?
— Do you mean a fixed amount?
— The amount that was dispensed by the ATM. And the ATM number. It should be on the check. Please review the receipt carefully, look at the ATM number and the fixed amount you withdrew.
(Oops, looks like they're checking me!)
- I'll look in my pocket, just a second.
(In reality, the question stumped me, but on that very day I was conducting transactions with a completely different Sberbank ATM and the check was in my pocket - it wasn’t!)
(pause for a minute)
- ATM number XXXXXX. The amount is 40350.
— Credit funds, as I understand it, you did not withdraw, is that correct?
- Yes.
— (inaudible) The ATM, please tell me, did it behave correctly? Did he ask you for any personal information?
- Yes, everything is fine.
— Were you in a tidy state? Did you notice? No...
- No, no, I dug into everything, everything was fine there.
- Everything is fine. Just a minute then, excuse me. (some strange insertion from another conversation)
(pause 30 seconds)
- First name, patronymic, please see what information is recorded on your check now? There should be an ATM number and amount, directly the address where you are located. And any extraneous information should not be included there. Please look carefully.
— The customer help line has been written.
- Yes. Should there still be some numbers displayed there?
— ATM. Authorization code. Transaction number...
- All information is correct. What amount did you request, and was this the amount withdrawn?
- Yes of course.
- In that case, then we expect documentation. Sorry it took so long, unfortunately.
- Yes, something is not fast, somehow everything is going well with you.
— Please also understand that many people are served by our bank and we try to help everyone as much as possible. (not legible)
- And how often do such thefts occur?
- (a bunch of things are not legible)
- I say, numerous, did you say?
- Nooo.
- What do you mean, it repeats itself often?
— Unfortunately, recently yes. Apparently the database was sold by former employees who stopped working... (inaudible)... which employee could have given the information (inaudible).
- Well, is it like tens or hundreds or thousands or tens of thousands? How many?
- No, it's several dozen. Don't worry (inaudible).
- Well, somehow it sounds scary.
- Sorry, I understand, but the main thing is that we reacted on time, actually. If we had reacted later, there would have been a write-off. If you confirmed that you made this transaction, of course there would be a write-off. Since you said in time that you do not confirm the transaction (not legible), you do not know this person. As if you do not perform these actions, the debiting of funds is automatically blocked. And in the future, your cash balance is (not legible) ...
- Why then did the ATM give me money now if the blocking occurred?
— Since (inaudible) in the transaction field, the bank returned its own funds that were in the transaction field. Blocking write-offs, write-offs online. Unfortunately, it is not possible to translate. Therefore, physical removal and, in fact, activation of an individual, that is, under you, is necessary. Everything will be supported underneath you.
- It's clear.
- Actually, the manager (inaudible), the manager will be me directly, Izmailova Anna Aleksandrovna, serial number 241. We are located at Moscow, Vavilova 19, second department. We will manage further funds with you. Actually, if you have any questions, you can contact either the hotline, or in the chat that is located in the online service, we will be with you...
- Can I call the hotline and ask you directly?
- Yes, in principle, you can call, give my ID as an employee, 241, give my details, since you have a manager registered. And, in fact, the connection occurs and we will talk to you.
— Will all this be written in the documents that will be sent now? So that I don’t write anything down now, right?
- Naturally, you will receive documents. You can either take a screenshot or save the document itself. And, as it were, you will be confident that your bank accounts will now be processed. In the future, you will receive your new card and agreement. You must study it and only then sign it. The contract usually displays all telephone numbers to which calls can, in principle, be made. The privacy policy is also fully described. And there shouldn’t be any extraneous information there. All the information that you will have in the contract, plus you will, in any case, need to change the password for the online service in order to protect yourself in the future and so that no compromising moments occur now. For your own safety, it would be better if you changed the password yourself.
- Yes.
“Now we just have to wait for the document.” And continue working.
- Yes. Ok. I'm waiting. Thanks for the explanation.
- Please. If you have any questions, please ask, I will try to explain to you correctly.
- Yes, I’ll think of something now, what to ask, definitely, yes, since we’re waiting anyway. Why does Moscow call Yekaterinburg savings banks? Have you posted everything in Moscow?
— The main branches are located, yes, in Moscow. The most active branches, in fact.
- It's clear.
— Do you have any other questions?
(Decent - no...)
- Well, not yet, I’m still thinking. I'll think of something and say it.
- All right, then we wait.
(here our 17th minute of conversation in the “shopping center” began)
(pause 8 minutes)
- Girl, maybe I’ll take a walk around the store for now, and you’ll call me back when everything is ready?
(and then it was not the girl who answered
- Hello, hello! My name is Dmitry, I am a senior specialist.
- You are not a girl!!!
(I lost it?!)
- I am (inaudible) a senior specialist. A senior specialist went to the legal department of our bank to provide you with documentation.
(that’s what they call the toilet, by the way)
- So, so what?
- You can put your phone in your pocket and when we need you, we will let you know.
- That is, you will call back later when you have what you promised me ready, right?
- Well, if we separate, we will have to (inaudible). Is it possible that you just put the phone in your pocket and stay on the line?
- No, I won’t walk like that. I have 30% charge there, it will run out soon.
- Then wait...
- Let's call back, otherwise I'm standing here like a fool next to the ATM.
- Let me check with a senior specialist. In this case, I will be fined now if I commit this action.
- Wow.
- Just a minute, I’ll clarify. One minute.
- Yes, let's do it. Otherwise I’m already hanging and hanging for who knows how long.
(pause for a minute)
(27 minutes of conversation and then there’s joy, again)
- A-lo, First Name and Patronymic?
- Yes Yes Yes.
— I was absent for some time, I visited a financial specialist in order to...
— Did you have dinner or something?
— No, I was with higher management to certify your documentation. Unfortunately, on a first-come, first-served basis, there are a lot of different things.
— What do you mean, there’s a waiting list to see the management?
- No. Documentation, certify the documentation in the live order queue.
- Well, did it work out?
- Understand correctly, you are not alone. Now just a couple more minutes. We fully certify and send.
- Just a couple of minutes is fine, but if it’s 15 minutes here, let me walk around the store for now, and you’ll call me back, and that’s all. And that’s a very long time.
- Literally no more than five minutes, I think it won’t take...
- Well, I’m not going anywhere, I’m right there already, waiting for you. I’m just standing at the ATM, people are already looking at me strangely, in short.
- I understand, it’s just that if I disconnect now, unfortunately, it’s not a fact that I can connect to you. Since...
- Let's no more than five minutes, otherwise this is all a long time.
- Please excuse me that this situation is happening.
(pause 6 minutes)
(34th minute of conversation)
- Hello, First Name and Patronymic?
- Yes.
- Look, within two minutes you already receive the documentation.
- OK.
Attention, surprise!
— You will need to deposit funds through a Tinkoff ATM. Since this is the safest ATM in the field of Internet services and, as it were, the closest ATM from you is located on March 8 Avenue.
- In terms of? Why do I have money in Sberbank, you are from Sberbank, but I have to take it to Tinkoff... somehow strange.
— Since you have had a compromise in Sberbank’s online service, it is now not safe to deposit funds directly from this bank. Tinkoff is the safest carrier of funds. Anyway…
— Is this how Sberbank employees officially say that Tinkoff is the best bank? I'm kind of surprised at all.
- It’s official, yes, I’m declaring it officially.
- Cool. So, do I need to run somewhere again, that is?
— You need to go, there is a Tinkoff ATM not far from you, on 8 March Avenue. I’ll tell you now...
- Let me look at your paper first. Because I’ve been waiting for her for a long time, and it’s cold outside. I’ll take a look and then I’ll head there, okay?
- Yes, sure. Literally two minutes and you (inaudible) this document has already been sent to you.
- Okay, okay, I'm waiting. Thank you.
(36th minute of communication)
(pause for 1 minute)
- Please tell me, are you familiar with the Fan-Fan shopping center?
- Fan-Fan? I’m familiar with it, but overall it’s a bit far away; I’ll probably have to drive there for, well, 20 minutes. And not to go, but to go. But I can, in principle, for the sake of such a thing. But I just won’t hang on the line. This will be absolutely brutal.
- It’s not comfortable there, right?
- Well, I won’t hang on the line for 20 minutes. My phone just hangs up, how would I...
- Oh, that’s it, I understand. Yes, I understand you perfectly. In any case, this is the nearest ATM, which...
- On the other hand, everything will be written there, in your document, and I can put everything in myself.
— Of course, your entire personal account will be there. In any case, I will contact you within 10-15 minutes so that I understand where you are and that, in principle, everything is fine with you.
- What will happen to me? I'm a big guy with forty thousand in my pocket. And what?
- In any case, you understand correctly, you are a client of our bank and, as it were, you are completely safe. You need to understand, you need to understand me correctly, as it were. The amount is not small. It's already late after all.
- Wow. So take care of me. Well... nice, nice, yes. Okay, okay, that's it. Something seemed to come to me. Now I’ll take a look, take a break - okay?
- Yes, in short, minimize the dialog box and view the information.
- Yeah.
(“the document” arrived on WhatsApp at the 38th minute of the conversation. Apparently few people require such “confirmation” from them; it took a long time to prepare)
- Hmm. What does it mean, girl, that illegal use of a document entails criminal liability? How is that?
- If you present these documents somewhere, uh, not in the department, use it, uh, in the wrong way...
- And what, how can I use it incorrectly? I do not understand something. Is it in the toilet?
- No, (not legible)
- And what is the criminal liability? Somehow this phrase scares me a little.
- Oh, no. Don't worry! There is a bank privacy policy. You should not pass this document on to third parties, except bank employees, of course. Third parties should not see the information that you display in your documentation. This is confidential information. Since your personal accounts are certified there, your personal manager. Complete confidential information. You also understand correctly. If you transferred this information to every third party, compromising moments would occur again and funds would be written off again. That is, I don’t want to compromise myself. And for this, naturally, there is criminal liability (inaudible) Article 159, fraud.
- That is, like I’m already becoming a fraudster, if something happens?
— If you use documents for purposes other than their intended purpose. That is, falsification of documentation, transfer of documentation to third parties, in this case - naturally. You also understand me correctly.
- Okay, tell me, I still don’t remember what it says, what’s your name. You simply said that you can be found by your internal number. And it’s not written anywhere.
- It doesn't register. You can write it down, or they may change the documentation a little and send you a new one.
- Please forward it, it’s as if I have nothing to write it down now, I don’t have any pen. Can?
- I understand...
- You don’t have to right now. I am now slowly moving towards Fan-Fan. It takes me about 20 minutes to get there. I'll get on the bus there, bye this, bye that. Basically, if you call me in 20 minutes, I’ll definitely just get there. It's unlikely that I'll get there sooner.
- All. In any case, I will contact you every ten minutes in order to...
- Got it. And yet there’s none of this... nothing is written about Tinkoff, in your document. So this is what I need? Go to the Tinkoff ATM, but what to do next?
— Go to the Tinkoff ATM. And in the future I will call you and advise you on your actions. That is, I will explain how to deposit a cash balance and replenish your new personal account.
— Do I need to go there somewhere, press some button? And there you can enter an account and put money there, right?
- Of course, yes. Everything will be written there in an accessible way and I’ll explain to you how...
- That’s it, okay, then you have your number... I just... what if they need a personal manager... Redo the document, okay? In the meantime, I went. Fine?
- Yes, sure. In that case, go to Fan Fan now. And we will contact you within 10 minutes. So that I understand that everything is fine with you and where you are at the moment. All the best, wait for the call, be careful!
Act 4, final. Time for business, time for fun. Or vice versa.
Dear readers, before publishing the denouement, I would like to take a short commercial break. Many of you remember my article about the smartest heater. Many people liked this idea, but no one was able to purchase this piece of metal for themselves. You can read about the reasons for this, as well as where we were able to go in our dreams of a silent desktop PC in my new article:
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Our next creation looks something like this:
And we are ready to sell it. But we need to understand whether there are those among you who would be ready to buy it? Are we dealing with the “elusive Joe” from one famous joke? Should we develop this direction?
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