Self-regulation with NLP

[Teacher]

There are no people without the necessary resources, there is only a hopeless state of mind. J. O'Connor

Research in the field of neuro-linguistic programming has made a great contribution to understanding the patterns of our thinking, emotional response, perception and behavior in situations that we define as “difficult”.

For the regulation of emotional states accompanying stressful situations, experts in the field of NLP have their own methodological techniques.

Let us briefly dwell on some of them.

The ability to manage our emotions largely depends on how we perceive a stressful situation.A strong experience of emotions, when they literally overwhelm us, occurs only if we are in an associative state. That is, we are inside the situation, perceiving it from our own point of view. If we can move away from the situation and look at everything that happens as if from the outside, from the position of an outside observer, we go into a dissociative state. This allows us to disassociate from our feelings and gain control over them. Learning to use the techniques of association and dissociation allows you to act more effectively in life. Being in a state of dissociation, it is easier for us to analyze the situation, to study various possible ways of our behavior in it, to learn from our mistakes. When we are associated, we are “immersed” in emotions and experience life in its entirety.

In order to feel this in practice, you can do the following procedure [Andreas et al., 2000]. Sit comfortably, relax, concentrate on any thought. Raise your chin slightly and tilt your head back. Don't move. Notice how the position of your body will change your thoughts and perception of the situation you were thinking about. You will feel as if you are separate from everything. This is the experience of dissociation. Now lean forward slightly and start looking around as if you were a volleyball player and you need to catch a ball thrown to you. When we use such bodily behavior, we become more involved in the reality around us. This will be the state of association.

From the point of view of M. Hall and B. Bodiheimer [2004], experts in the field of neurosemantics, as soon as the brain receives the signal "Danger!" - interrupt the state of experiencing stress or drive it deeper. Therefore, in stress management, the main thing is to avoid sending the “Danger!” Signal unless the situation really threatens our lives. In this case, we do not get involved in a losing game for us called "Fight-flight-numbness under stress." To do this, it is important for us to study the strategy that we usually use when experiencing stress, and change it where it is ineffective.

This involves the following steps:

- identify bodily sensations that indicate the experience of stress (perhaps unconscious or partially realized) - these can be respiratory failure, stiffness, tension in certain parts of the body, fatigue, pain, etc.;

- identify the cause of stress and formulate it (as a rule, in the formulation of the cause, you will find irrational judgments associated with the concepts of “should”, “always” or with self-accusations);

- find out what individual patterns of thinking you use to intensify the experience of stress (dramatize events, exaggerate their significance in your life, view the situation only from a black / white position, etc.);

- Track what physical characteristics of your condition increase the experience of stress: disturbed breathing, stoop, tension in the neck, shoulders, face, jaws, abdomen, etc .;

- analyze how you can change your physiology to your advantage (how to change your posture, breathing, in what tone can you address yourself to support yourself in this situation?);

- remember a situation from the past when you managed to easily move from anger to calmness. For example, you were furious and had a fight with someone close to you. At this time, the phone rang, and when you answered the receiver, you answered in a completely different, calm voice. How did you manage to move to calmness? If such situations really happened, it means that you already have the necessary resource, you just need to secure it. Remember this situation in as much detail as possible and create a trigger (anchor) to use it whenever you see fit. The trigger can be any sound, word, picture, movement associated with this state.

An important resource state can be the implementation of a special technology aimed at forming an image of oneself in a state of complete relaxation and serenity (image 1). This image can be associated, for example, with relaxing by the sea, when we sit and watch the sea surf. We can use this image before bed for better sleep or in those moments when no one bothers us and we can be alone. However, this image may not be a useful trigger at work. It is unlikely that, being in a state of complete detachment, we will be effective in carrying out our official duties.

That is why it is important to change Image 1 and add those relaxation characteristics to it that would help you in a work environment. That is, we must create image 2 - this is a higher level meta-state, which is characterized by relaxation, combined with calm confidence, calm energy of readiness, etc. You can go back to image 1 and enrich this image with the necessary details, characteristics, etc. It is important for everyone to design and present the comfort they need in a work environment.

Now observe your image 2. How will you breathe, think, communicate with people, act, being in this image? Now use physical association and enter this image. Imagine what you see, hear, feel, being in this image. Are you satisfied with this new image? You can enrich this image with new character traits, new details and work on it as much as you see fit.

 

[Tomcat]

NLP Technique: Shame or Triumph. Exercise for psychological "stretching"

The psychological visualization exercise is a psychological "stretching", thanks to which we can teach ourselves to reach the Numinous.

Numinosity (lat.numen - deity, the will of the gods) is a concept that characterizes the most important side of religious experience associated with an intense experience of the mysterious and frightening divine presence.

Jung called Numinous - the Divine, the sacred.

Exercise to visualize the numinous in us - in order to gain strength and support for life in everyday life.

When the numinous manifests itself in full force in a person, we say - Holy.

When Numinous only flickers in a person, a rare golden glimpse, we Love this person. When the numinous is poured out of his mouth or emanates from his fingers, we say - this man is a genius, a Master.

I put before you a very important question: do you know those cases when the Numinous (Divine) manifests itself in a person in all its might?

With all its might, the Numinous manifests itself in Man - twice. In two important cases, at two extreme points of his being. We will talk about this now. This is the topic of our visualization and, more broadly, of conversation.

Two extreme points of being, when the Numinous manifests itself in a person in all its might: Shame and Triumph.

Every ordinary person has a chance to become a saint twice in his life.

These two chances in the life of each of us are as follows. The point of our lowest fall. And the Point of our fullest Disclosure, the Moment of Triumph of our Self, the minute of the peak of our Self-actualization.

And here one very important thing is happening, probably foreseen by evolution itself for the sake of protecting human life as an individual and humanity as a species.

Both times - and in the moment of the gravest shame, and in the moment of the highest glory, organic to the person himself, the person after all ... what? .. The person is the most vulnerable, that's what!

A shame

At the point of the lowest fall, at the point of shame and crushed, a person is threatened (if you include logic) the most natural threat of such a situation - he will be pecked and spit by the crowd, society.

But here you need to turn off the logic! Because at the moment of the lowest fall of a person ... this just does not happen! The crowd, which until recently was ready to tear you apart, suddenly, like a wave, rushed away from you and froze in a strange silence.

Probably, with the help of a hint from the Collective Unconscious, every person “from somewhere” knows that a person who suffers the most terrible humiliation and fall is a taboo for earthly assessments and manipulations. He is already the field of action of Divine forces. He is not subject to earthly condemnation - no more.

Having reached the lowest point, a person becomes a saint. Numinousnoe dawns on him. To touch a person at such a moment with a goal - to ridicule, humiliate even more, punish - is impossible. This understanding is inherent in our ontogeny, if you like ...

Triumph

At the point of triumph, when he is organic to the person himself and reveals him, the person, the Self, the person is also very vulnerable. This is again earthly logic. Not vulnerable!

It would seem - this is when the envious should reach the boiling point and make an attempt - - to break the Triumph.

It was not so. At these moments, the person is again overshadowed by Numinous. And he again becomes invulnerable. On the contrary, the same crowd that envied a man yesterday (when he had not yet reached the highest point) today makes way for him and says - saint ...

And this mechanism is, again, laid down in our ontogeny.

It is no coincidence that in traditional culture, everyone is silent in front of the deceased lying in a coffin and is touched by the bride walking down the aisle.

In the simplest version, in the mythological sharpened action, the deceased in the coffin is the lowest point where the unfortunate person falls, and the bride is the highest point of self-actualization.

In both cases, there is something sacred, numinous in the air.

But situations with a dead man and a bride are the most primitive situations.

There are many cases when a person turns into a saint outside the ritual of his own wedding or his own funeral.

One of the best examples illustrating this phenomenon is Chekhov's novella Duel.

In short, this is a story about how ordinary people were able to see the Presence of the Living God, because two renegades from their little world reached the extreme point of moral and social decline, shame ...

These two renegades, in fact, appeared before the inhabitants - the Living God.

Visualization "I love you"

In our everyday life, we rarely meet with Numinous. No one is particularly dishonored, no one really reveals his Self ...

Therefore, our life is hard, because - how can we live without the Numinous?

But here a good practice from psychotherapy can come to the rescue - self-healing by the method of visualization.

This practice was taught to me by an old psychotherapist who knows nothing about new-fangled trends in practical psychology and stopped somewhere at the first translations of NLP.

He used to say: “Draw yourself two pictures. The first is to see yourself in the moment of your complete failure and shame. Imagine well what you will be then. Come to yourself like this (such) in this picture and say to yourself: "I love you."

And then paint a second picture where you will deservedly celebrate your victory. Imagine well - what will you be then? Come up to yourself in the second success picture and say to yourself the same words: "I love you."

Do this psychological exercise more often and you will stop being afraid of life and wasting it on trifles.

 

[Brother]

NLP: Patterns of Gathering Information​

One of the reasons for the popularity of neuro-linguistic programming was the emergence of order in the chaos of thought. Taking advantage of this, I decided to ennoble a small section of the psychological field, which is still abundantly overgrown with impassable weeds.
NLP is known to be about giving choice. I abide by this principle by proposing a set of information gathering patterns that vary in form and can be easily replicated by anyone for any content. All this makes my article - an article on NLP.
In one, I moved away from tradition - the patterns that are presented below are not the product of modeling by Einstein or Aristotle, but the result of describing my own approach to collecting information. But what does “own” mean for a person who has been practicing NLP every day for seven years? Even without a lunch break! This means that they, for the most part, include the techniques of Bandler, Grinder and company, as well as everything that has been learned from a variety of books and seminars on NLP, but it is no longer known from which ones. In any case, John Grinder's call to "create your own code or encode what has not yet been encoded" is embodied in reality (Patrick E. Merlevede JohnGrinder`s futurevisionforNLP. –1997).
How much do you agree that we all, regardless of our degree of training in psychology, collect information about the interlocutor? And this is part of the natural communication process.
Initially, the following patterns were presented by me in the "School of the Young NLP Fighter" - this is an e-mail NLP course that I periodically teach on my site "NLP and the People" (www.nlp-and.narod. ru) (Author's note: On the project is closed today).
They were a task called "Targeting Mirages", as the goal was to test the quality of their observations of people and clarify erroneous interpretations by the course participants . By interpretation, I here mean static knowledge about various aspects of the opponent's behavior, formed during communication (for example, about his intentions, mood, attitude) and not based on directly observable facts, but consciously or unconsciously generalized from them.
However, later I noticed that I myself use these patterns in a broader context - in creating conditions for opening people and observing them. I call this context information gathering .
In effective communication, the sequence "observation-interpretation-check" is included as a component. The whole process can be described in the form of a circle "observation - interpretation - observation - correction of interpretation - observation - correction of interpretation - ..." or a usual feedback loop.
John Grinder, for example, speaking about the ineffectiveness of labeling people as “visual”, “audial”, etc., advises to check every 30 seconds whether the preferences of the interlocutor's representational systems persist (S. Collingwood, J. Collingwood. Interview with Dr John Grinder, Inspiritive, 1996).
The patterns below are included in the interpretation adjustment step and create a favorable context for observation. The purpose of their use is to put the opponent in such conditions under which the meaning of his behavior would become more obvious to you. After you apply these patterns, your interlocutor will make the part of his thought map that you are exploring even clearer.
Thus, you catalyze the gathering of information, forcing the opponent to provide you with new data to observe in the area that you yourself have chosen. That is, you are using the "observe - interpret - pattern - observe - interpret - pattern" strategy, and so on. round. Moreover, each time the interpretation becomes more and more accurate.

The entire quality of the interpretation adjustment will depend on two more components:

1. Your sensory sensitivity - the ability to notice as many observable aspects of a person's behavior as possible.
2. The interpretation strategies you use are your ability to interpret observed behavior as accurately as possible.

The content of these components is not considered in this article.
It should be noted that the circle of collecting information can be either realized by the observer himself, or realized only at some of its stages, or not at all. And if you are not aware of your actions in this area, it is only because you do not have the abilities that you can get by reading this article to the end.
Consciously or unconsciously, people collect a wide variety of information. Moreover, what the observer pays attention to in the interlocutor's behavior and how he interprets this behavior (the observer's insight) determines the overall effectiveness of communication. And here, too, the old, like a computer, the GIGO principle (garbage in - garbage out) works. The antidote to empty or poor quality information can be that you use NLP techniques to observe . In any case, the description of methods of observation and the choice of information for observation is beyond the scope of this article.

I will only note that, in my opinion, in order to collect quality information, it is useful to pay attention to:

• The goals of the interlocutor (both in general in communicating with you, and in this particular conversation, in each issue under discussion).
• The mood of the interlocutor (including the influence of what you say on the change in his mood).
• The interlocutor's reactions to you - to you in general, to your specific actions, words, ideas, etc. Here it is also important, or even most important of all, to determine not only how the interlocutor reacts, but to determine whether this reaction is directed specifically at you, at what you have done or said, or if it refers to something unrelated to you (for example, his self-doubt, uncomfortable posture, recollection, etc.).
• The attitude of the interlocutor to what he says (sure - not sure of the words; honest - not honest; frank - closed; the topic is interesting or not, etc.).
• If a person talks about people, touches on some topics - you can determine his attitude towards these people and topics;
• Congruence of the interlocutor.
• Consistency between:

a) individual movements of the interlocutor.
b) Signals from the right and left half of the body.
c) Representative systems (for example, between visual and audio signals).
d) Analog and digital information:

• The meaning of what a person says and what his body or part of the body is showing at this time.
• The meaning of what a person says and how he says it.

This list, of course, does not exhaust all areas of observation and, following the NLP prescriptions, it is more useful to pay attention to what the feedback from the opponent indicates to you and your goals in interaction with him.
In any case, it is not out of place to remember that “for practice, the information that changes more quickly or on which we can influence” is of the greatest importance (V. Birkenbil. The language of intonation, facial expressions, gestures. -SPb .: Peter Press, 1997) ...
That is, reactions that occur in large numbers right in front of you, during your communication with another person, are of particular value.
Having chosen, consciously or unconsciously, what exactly you want to know about the interlocutor , you begin to observe him. The techniques that this article focuses on apply as soon as you determine that you have made an interpretation in relation to the interlocutor. Once you have applied the pattern, and immediately, as soon as the interlocutor begins to react to it, you need to carefully observe the reaction.

Interpretation
As you observe, note all your interpretations. In this concept I include everything that you cannot directly observe. For example, a slight flushing of the face or a slow nod of the head is an observation (sensory-based information), and an embarrassed face or a distant nod of the head is an interpretation.... “He looks embarrassed” or “She doesn't pay much attention to me” is an even bigger interpretation as it interprets many other interpretations. In this step, notice all your conclusions - all your interpretations. You can practice separately by simply observing the person and noticing to yourself exactly what you see. And during this you can say to yourself: this is an observation or an interpretation (for example, "he smoothly moves his elbow" is an observation; "he squints slightly" is an observation; "he is calm" is an interpretation, " etc.).
Applying a pattern
Once you find an interpretation that needs testing and refinement, you apply one of the following patterns.

Interpretation defined
Apply pattern
Information collection patterns:
Direct question
You can find out the point of view of the interlocutor in the area in which you have an interpretation, without giving him the interpretation itself. That is, you ask the question as if you don't even know what the answer might be.
For example:
Interpretation: The interviewee said something to interest me.
Check: I wonder why you are saying this?
Interpretation: She doesn't like what I suggested.
Check: Well, how do you feel about my proposal?
It is surprising that such a simple approach is powerful , especially in an open and trusting relationship.

2) The question of interpretation
You ask the interlocutor directly if your interpretation is correct, giving out its content. That is, in essence, you are asking if you understood it correctly.
For example:
Interpretation: Theinterviewee said something to interest me.
Check: Do you want to interest me in this?
Do you want to interest me in this? Did I understand correctly?
Did I understand correctly that you want to interest me in this?
Interpretation: She doesn't like what I suggested.
Check: Don't you like it?
Do you not like it or I somehow misunderstood you?
Does this not suit you or did I misunderstand you?

3) Comment
You pronounce your interpretation as a description of the interlocutor's behavior.
3.1) "Confident" comment
You don't ask him if the interpretation is correct, but you report it very confidently, as if it is an obvious fact to you. You need to observe the interlocutor from the moment when he first realizes the meaning of what you said.
For example:
Interpretation: The interviewee said something to interest me.
Check: So you want to interest me in this.
I understand that you want me to be interested in this, but ...
Interpretation: She doesn't like what I suggested.
Check: I understand you don't like this.
Well, you don't like this, so I ...
OK OK. I can see that you don't like it.
3.2) Interrogative comment
In this case, you make it clear to the interlocutor that, on the contrary, you are not sure of your conclusions , but you do not ask about it in the form. This statement turns into a question your apparent uncertainty and pause after uttering the phrase. You also need to observe the interlocutor from the moment when he first realizes the meaning of what you said.
For example:
Interpretation: The interviewee said something to interest me.
Check: It feels like you want to interest me in this. (Pause)
Interpretation: She doesn't like what I suggested.
Check: I thought you didn't like it (Pause)

4) Meta comment
In the case of a meta-comment, you tell the interlocutor only your observations, on the basis of which the interpretation was made. The action of such a comment, which encourages the interlocutor to react, also intensifies the pause after its uttering.
For example:
Interpretation: The interviewee said something to interest me.
Check: You follow my reaction to my words so closely and describe everything so vividly. (Pause)
Interpretation: She doesn't like what I suggested.
Check: You were so tense when I said that. (Pause)

5) Passive reaction
I cannot but express my reverent attitude towards such an elegant way of collecting information and influencing people. I began to use it often and consciously after the seminars with the famous Russian NLP trainer Mark Palchik.
Interestingly, passive behavior has an equally strong , and often more powerful effect on people than active behavior. As Vera Birkenbil noted, it is based on the fact that “most people begin to speak when you become silent,” or, in another way and more generally, on the fact that “your stay in the passive Yin energy leads to the transition of the interlocutor into active energy Yang "(not literally M. Palchik).
In this particular case, you shut up and go into a state of complete " uptime " (full concentration on what is observed around you) immediately after you have made an interpretation based on some manifestations in the interlocutor's behavior.
For example:
Interpretation: The interviewee said something to interest me.
Check: He has already finished his fiery speech and is waiting for your reaction, and you are silent until the interlocutor has to speak again himself. During silence, you can both non-verbally express extreme attention to what the interlocutor has to say, and be absolutely "indifferent" to him.
Interpretation: She doesn't like what I suggested.
Check: After making an offer, wait for a verbal reaction. If this reaction is not enough, keep silent until she speaks again).
As a matter of fact, it may be your turn to speak, but you act as if "the ball is still in the interlocutor's half of the field."

6) Adjustment
Adjustment tactics can also be used to test your interpretations. It is especially useful when you assume that the interlocutor has a certain belief (for example, the interpretation "Apparently he thinks that everyone wants to cheat him") or you assume what attitude the interlocutor has towards something (for example, the interpretation: " Perhaps he thinks: “Spartak” is bullshit, here is “Dynamo” !!! That's right! ”) Or to someone (eg. Interpretation:“ Apparently, he treats the gardeners well ”).
The bottom line is that you yourself begin to express his point of view and follow his reaction . If your behavior does not cause protest, in addition to confirming your interpretation, you will also improve your relationship with the interlocutor.
For example:
Interpretation: Apparently he thinks everyone wants to cheat him.
Check: You know, by and large, it seems to me that no one in this world can be trusted. Here's an example. I went to the bakery yesterday ... and so on.
Interpretation: Perhaps he thinks "Spartak" - bullshit, here - "Dynamo" !!! It's true!
Check: Do you know what I think? To be honest, Spartak is not really what they make of it! Remember at least their last match with Torpedo and at the Cup with Galatasaray ...
Interpretation: Apparently he treats gardeners well.
Check: You just said about cherries, and I remembered so clearly. Do you know? My grandfather was a gardener. I came to him in the summer. And I live in Siberia. And I was fascinated by his work. Well this is Heaven on Earth. Eh, we would grow apricots! I got up in the morning and into the garden ...

7) Verb return
This method can be used when the interlocutor himself talks about his inner state, but you interpret his state in a different way. The method consists in repeating the verb from the interlocutor's phrase in an interrogative form.
For example:
Interlocutor's message: I am confident in my words.
Interpretation: He is deceiving himself and is not really sure.
Check: Are you sure? (pause)
Interlocutor's message: I think I'll do it.
Interpretation: Nope. It won't.
Check: Will you do it? (pause) or do you think? (pause)

Frames for patterns
In NLP, a frame or frame metaphorically describes the possibility of placing any content within it. Depending on which frame you choose, the overall impression of the picture changes. One of the most famous frames in NLP is the as-if frame. You can behave in any way, as long as you behave "as if".
When you need to learn from someone's skill, one of the steps is to imagine that you are acting as if you are the person with the skill you need. If a person says to NLPer: "I don't know," then the latter has the opportunity to answer: "Imagine that you already know this." That's all the introduction to framework science for today.
Just as you can perform any behavior, independent of its content, as if, you can insert in the boxes below, those interpretation test patterns where you reveal the content of your interpretation.

Frame "from counterinterpretation (from the opposite)"
Milton Erickson had such situations when women approached him, but their husbands also had to be present at the consultation. Husbands flatly refused to go to a psychologist. What was he doing? He simply told his patients about their husbands. Moreover, he said things about them that were clearly not true.
The wives, as he expected, told everything at home and at the second or third meeting their husbands appeared, who were eager for the triumph of truth and wanted to find out who this doctor was talking complete nonsense. This example is a classic example of ideally NLPer goal-oriented behavior.
This is my conviction! Very often, people are so hungry for the truth that they react extremely hotly when they are misunderstood or "as if" misunderstood. Very often in such cases, they are ready to give out their point of view on a platter. This Achilles' heel is softer the more firm the person's belief system and the more straightforward he is.
The framework “from counterinterpretation” in relation to verification methods involves two steps:
a) Revealing counter-interpretation (the opposite meaning of your interpretation).
b) Direct application of the verification method, already based on counter-interpretation.

Methods can be applied:

• The question of interpretation.
• "Confident" comment.
• Interrogative comment.
• Meta comment.
• Adjustment.

Example 1. Based on method 3.1 "Confident" comment.
Using the trend described above, you can make your “confident” comment exactly the opposite of your interpretation. By the way, this is why the word "confident" in the name of the verification method is taken in quotes, in fact, you are not sure in either case, you only speak as if you are sure (by the way, the frame "as if").
So here's an example of a supposedly false "sure" comment:
Interpretation: The interviewee said something to interest me.
Counter-interpretation: The interlocutor does not care whether I am interested in it or not.
Check: So you don't care what I think about this.
I understand that you don't care how I feel about it, but ...
Interpretation: She doesn't like what I suggested
Counter-interpretation: She likes my suggestion.
Check: I understand you like it.
Well, you like it, so I ...
Yeah. I can see that you like it.
Example 2. Based on the "Tuning" method.
It's not hard to guess that if your interpretation is correct, then using counterinterpretation in combination with the "tune-up" method will turn this method upside down. Essentially, a tune will become either tune or no tune. Applying this method with this framework is perhaps the most dramatic change in the method itself.
But, in my opinion, it will allow you to achieve the greatest results in the extraction of information, as it will often lead to a dispute.
Here is the truth serum. In a dispute, the truth (the truth of the interlocutor) rushes with a powerful pressure. The dispute is accompanied often by fervor. Deliberately used to gather information, a dispute is a context that allows you to use the advantage of a person with flexible beliefs in communication to persuade the opponent's more bony beliefs.
Serum of truth or "as if" serum of truth, put YOU. The serum of truth is your conscious position against the opinion of the interlocutor, despite what you actually think about it. This is just a trick. Nothing more.
For example:
Interpretation: Apparently he thinks everyone wants to cheat him.
Counter-interpretation: You can trust people.
Verification: It seems to me that you can rely on almost any person. How many times have I been, for example, in unfamiliar cities and when I had to ask for help from other people ... Why are there business trips, in life, at every step ...
Interpretation: Perhaps he thinks "Spartak" - bullshit, here - "Dynamo" !!! It's true!
Counter-interpretation: I am a fan of Spartak.
Check: In "Spartachi" they gave a fire last week! No matter how hard they try to pour over them. Spartak is Spartak! They have a midfield ...
Parting words to those who are going to insert pictures into this frame. The use of the “from the opposite” frame may be inappropriate in some cases. This is especially true of the "Tuning" method.
In NLP, adjusting to beliefs , that is, showing that your point of view corresponds to the point of view of the interlocutor, is one of the main components in building a trusting relationship with the interlocutor. If your goal is to build a relationship with a person, it will often not be the best choice to show your difference or "as if" different (for him it will be the same) from him.
Moreover, if the belief that you question is very significant for the interlocutor. Although there are those who like to be "opened his eyes", who just love to argue or he likes people who disagree with him and are able to express their disagreement. Some will call this "honesty" and consider you a "reliable" person. And then ... your tune will turn back into tune. It is not that simple. Forward to experiments !!!

Box "Summarizing Interpretation (Up Divided)"​

This is another trick. If the purpose of using the previous frame is to provoke the interlocutor to disclose information, that is, bringing in activity, tension, Yang energy, then the purpose of using the “generalization” frame, on the contrary, is to soften the receipt of information, highlight your detached role, Yin energy.
This frame is a special case of the application of the process of generalization (generalization) described in the transformational grammar of N. Chomsky and in the NLP meta-model.
The bottom line is that we generalize the interpretation from a particular case , which we see on the example of the interlocutor, into a statement about laws (relationships between people, our world, social, etc.). That is, we are not talking about a specific person, but we are talking about people. We are not talking about the fact that a person, for example, is cheerful and ready to talk to us (interpretation), we are talking about the fact that “funny people usually easily make contact with other people”. Here, words indicating generalization are “people”, “usually” and “with other people”.
Where did they come from: "funny people" is your generalized interlocutor who is cheerful; “Other people” is just you, just bloated to the whole of humanity, and “usually” it is just a moment here and now, where you and your interlocutor are, but this moment will stretch over almost the entire time continuum. So in the end, from the fact that you and your interlocutor were, and the latter was cheerful and it seemed to you that you would have a good talk now, it turned out that "all funny people usually should get along easily with other people . " And this is already a rule, statement or ... belief.
Why should we elevate interpretation to universal laws in the context of testing interpretations? If you declare some of your convictions, without declaring its belonging to you (ie not “I believe that all women are bitches!”, But “All women are bitches!”), Then you turn the conversation to another level - from a discussion of current behavior to something abstract and at the same time related to the current situation.
If the other person disagrees with this, they are likely to say, “I don't think so. In fact, women - ... "And off we go - about women ... and not about who thinks what. Why, in turn, is such a translation needed? For example, you say:" What are you doing, Vasya , in nature? "or instead:" When one person hits another in the face, he humiliates the latter! "How much softer is the second? And here Vasya will have to lay out whether he wanted to humiliate you by breaking your nose, or beat you for nothing to do, or even vice versa out of respect for you.
And no transition to personalities!
When people talk about truths, traditions, rules, laws, etc., they can reveal themselves much more strongly than when they talk directly about themselves, since they believe that practically the whole world also thinks with them.
Read the newspaper Two. Almost all of the letters there are stories from their own lives. But they write there about husbands and wives, men and women, childless and single, and very rarely about themselves (s) in the singular. If we are talking about rules, laws and truths, any more or less experienced NLPer understands that we are never talking about rules, laws and truths - we are talking only about the personal history of the person HIMSELF.
Applying the generalize interpretation framework involves two steps:
Derivation of a generalization of interpretation. This, as a rule, will require a broader context of interaction with the interlocutor, that is, the combination of interpretation with other interpretations or observations.
Application of the method based on a generalized interpretation.

• Methods can be applied:
• The question of interpretation.
• "Confident" comment.
• Interrogative comment.
• Adjustment.

Example Based on the Interrogative Comment Method
Interpretation: The interviewee said something to interest me.
Generalization of the interpretation: To generalize the interpretation, a broader context of the conversation may be needed, for example, here it may be:
a) If a person likes something, he always wants someone to share this interest with him.
b) When people describe something so vividly, they want us to be interested in it.
Check: It seems to me that if a person likes something, he always wants someone to share this interest with him. (Pause).
When people describe something so vividly, I get the feeling that they want to interest. (Pause)
Interpretation: She doesn't like what I suggested.

Generalization of interpretation:
a) Girls do not like it when men offer them something.
b) People don't like being asked to do something they don't like.
Check: It seems to me that girls usually do not like it when a man offers them something. (Pause)
Yes. (sigh) People don't like being asked to do something that is contrary to their beliefs. (Pause)
This frame, perhaps, requires more experience , creativity and focus. The main trap is that you yourself may not notice how you will climb the bastions of your own convictions and, defending them, you will furiously pour tar on the enemy's head. When you come to your senses for a second in the heat of battle, remember that on your side are not beliefs, but "as if" beliefs, and that it is this fact that allows you to flexibly manage communication.
As you apply this framework, remember that your generalized interpretation is, in fact, of no value, since you know that you yourself created it and it is artificial to the limit. Remember, your goal is to test the original interpretation. Checking through generalization is just a trick. Nothing more.

Observation​

It is necessary to observe the interlocutor as soon as he begins to react to the pattern you applied.

 

[Jollier]

What is NLP?​

Research of human capabilities​

The goal is to study and comprehend human perfection, and not some abstract, but quite specific for each person. Someone wants to learn how to speak English, someone wants to learn how to express their feelings, someone wants to become more confident, and someone wants to make their life rich and happy. Each time the concept of "human perfection" is revived by the reasonable needs of a particular person.
Investigating the present is very important. What is - now, at the moment? What will be the basis of perfection in the one who goes to it? And why hasn't the transition to perfection taken place so far? Often, the power of the transition to perfection is based in the present.
And then "NLP is the study and mastery of perfect skill in a particular business through the development of the present and dreams of the future."

The science of being yourself​

Being yourself is the first step you can take with NLP: to be able to be yourself, to gain access to your own resilience. You stop being subservient to the opinion of others by default and choose your own path of development. Yet this is only the first step from dependence to independence. It is necessary for a sense of self-worth, and only after it can a person take the second step - go from independence to codependency. Codependency as interaction with other people based on mutual discoveries, mutual creativity, mutual development.
And then "NLP is the ability to be with others, remaining yourself and developing your own skills."

The practice of personal change​

NLP is called a practical model and is often criticized for the lack of a theoretical basis. Indeed, for NLP, human experience is of great importance, modeling it, experimenting as opposed to building doctrines and hypotheses. With a preference for experience, NLP is a technology for personal change. However, any generalization in NLP that leads to the development of a particular skill is fundamental.
And then "NLP is a practical approach that leads to real personal change, based on fundamental knowledge in physiology, linguistics, philosophy, systems theory, psychology, etc."

Modern method of a successful life​

We can definitely say that not all NLP ideas are new. Many of them have been applied in various scientific fields. For example, TOTE - The model came to NLP from behavioral psychology, and the logical level model from the anthropologist Gregory Bateson. And yet, the creators of NLP combined different directions and created a new method, using their understanding of the logic of the thought process and lexical stereotypes to master the skills of excellence. And it should be noted that until now NLP does not get tired of improving. New models and new discoveries are constantly being born.
And then "NLP is a dynamically developing approach to achieving success, which makes the discoveries of the past modern, putting them in a form that is convenient and practical for use."

ABBREVIATION "NLP"​

How did this name come about? According to one version, John Grinder and Richard Bandler - the founders of the NLP model - locked themselves in a log cabin located in the California mountains, asking themselves the question: "What will we call this method?" John Grinder is a linguist by education, Richard Bandler was at that time a mathematician and programmer. Both were engaged in the study of the possibilities of thinking and psychophysiology. In accordance with this, they chose the name "Neuro-linguistic programming", thus combining three main elements.
Neuro - determines the connection with our neurological system, ie determines the way we use our senses: sight, hearing, touch, taste and smell. Our physiology and our thinking function as one system. NLP greatly expands the capabilities of our neurological system and teaches us how to manage it.
Linguistic - defines the relationship between the language used by a person and his life experience. Our lexical models are an expression of our way of thinking and, to a greater or lesser extent, reflect our inner essence.
Programming - allows you to explore and change experiences and experiences. A program is a set of actions designed to achieve a certain result. The results we have achieved and the impacts we have on ourselves and others are the result of our personality program. Having realized the elements of personal programs, in what sequence these elements are reproduced in behavior or thinking, we can control our own experiences, state and behavior.