Roles in our lives

[Brother]

A person is a very complex, multifaceted creature and therefore it is very difficult to create a "complete" description of him, a "complete" model, most likely practically impossible. But at the same time, sometimes it is useful to simply take a certain image, a metaphor and, with its help, try to represent some part of life. For example, one of the ways to describe our life, our behavior, is to introduce the concept of Role.
A role is what we play; it seems to have its own purpose, its own direction. On the one hand, this is very convenient: The role has a set of behaviors more or less suitable for many situations. Rather, a Role is a template by which behavior in a given situation is built. Plus, the Role is not us. And mistakes made during execution are not our mistakes. It's Role's fault.
Raleigh's problem is her narrow focus and, very often, lack of flexibility and isolation. Usually, the achievements and achievements of one Role are not available to another.
One more thing: an ordinary person is used to playing 3-4 Roles. A good actor has 7-9 types in his repertoire.
But a very big plus of Raleigh is that they are well known. Their sets of rules of conduct and goals are regularly shared by friends and acquaintances, discussed in the press and shown on television. A huge number of writers have devoted themselves to describing the most common Roles and their conflicts with each other. (As you can imagine, in some Roles it is written that they absolutely cannot stand some other Roles).
So, we can say that the Role is a template.
And I want to point out right away that I personally do not think that the Role is something bad and wrong. This is a very convenient thing, the only question is how to learn how to use it with maximum efficiency.
And like any template, it has its advantages and disadvantages. And I am in no way suggesting that you give up Roles (if at all possible).
The only question is who controls whom: you are the Role or it is you.

Role-In-Life.​

Among the many Roles that we often play, sometimes, we know by hearsay and have "some idea", there is usually one, so to speak, Role-In-Life. It is also sometimes called SCENARIO. This is, so to speak, the main character, the main template, and all the other Roles are just an addition to it. Poetically speaking, Role-In-Life is the main theme, the main melody of the great symphony "Theater of Life".
This does not mean that the Role-In-Life is one for life. Quite often people change it to something else. Although sometimes this change is purely symbolic. Therefore, here we will talk about the Role-In-Life at the moment.
And some people regularly play Loser, dropping cups on the floor and getting into all kinds of trouble and getting all kinds of injuries. Someone plays the Rescuer, and usually he first spoils someone's life (completely unconsciously), and then quite heroically saves the same person. The Role of a Free Nature is often encountered - a person who actively proves that he is free from everything in a row, although it is usually completely incomprehensible from what exactly and why he is so notorious.

Naturally, you can come up with a name for your Role-In-Life yourself:

• Highly moral person.
• Doctor.
• Psychologist.
• Sissy.
• Winner.
• Player.
• Proving to Everyone that He is Confident of Himself (not to be confused with Confident of Himself).
• Razguildyay.
• Impotent.
• Sexy terrorist

And although most of the above Roles are suitable for the beautiful half of humanity (you just need to change the gender), several purely female Roles:

• Good Girl.
• Seeking the Meaning of Life.
• Juliet (this Role is especially funny for a woman about 50 years old).
• Slut.
• Gray Neck.
• Inaccessible Beauty (as an option - the Snow Queen).
• Best friend.
• I'm Not Anyone To You ...
• Independent.
• Businesswoman.

Everyone can, if they wish, put their own meaning in each Role and have fun thinking up the names of the Roles for friends and acquaintances. This is a fun activity that I highly recommend before thinking a bit and trying to define your own Role-In-Life.
What is your Role-In-Life?

Entering the Role.​

What we are going to do now, you do all the time. You did this especially a lot as a child. THIS is entering the Role. Children usually learn by playing games and trying on the role of parents, or their favorite movie or television characters, or the role of characters in books. They play and learn at the same time.
And now we will try to remember this method a little and learn how to use it in our daily life.
After all, this is only one of many ways to describe a person and what he does in this life. And I'm not suggesting that you simply choose a new Role instead of the old one. I suggest you learn to fit the situation. As each lock requires a specific key, so each situation requires its own behavior. And when the key does not match, either you cannot enter the room, or you fiddle with the lock for a very long time and open it with a creak.
And the Role is just a template. And the more of these templates you have, the more locks you can choose the keys to.
And the ideal here is when you can fit any situation. As if the ability to make the situation "make" you. Another metaphor is when you become fluid like water. And you can fill any container.

0. Meta-Role.
Think about the role you play in life. Come up with or remember a metaphor for this Role.
It can be an image, a phrase, plus a mood.
"Actually, I'm married."
"I feel so sad".
"Nobody loves Me".
"I AM SO HAPPY to see you all!"

1. Choosing a new Role.
I would like you to think and choose for yourself such a Role that is interesting to you and which can give you something new, teach you something interesting. Usually, I suggest taking the opposite Role from what you usually play in life. Or one that has never been tried on at all. If you are Shy in life, then try the Role of Insolent or Don Juan. If your usual Role is a Gorgeous Woman, then try the Role of a Modest Girl.
"Opposites do not contradict, but complement each other."
And try to come up with a designation - a phrase, an action, an emotion for this Role. Like the exercise when you did the scene. Maybe it will be a loving man who so insinuatingly says: "What is your name?" Or a girl who modestly looks down and picks the ground, says "I have nothing to do with it."

2. Creation of an image.
Imagine the image that this Role represents for you. I usually suggest three ways to do this:
1. You can imagine yourself playing this Role. How do you look from the outside.
2. Think of the person who plays this role beautifully. This can be your friend, movie hero, or even the hero of the book.
3. Create a kind of Role archetype. Envious, Hero, Superman. It's like a pure Role, without any stress.
Naturally, each method has its own advantages and disadvantages. When you choose the image of yourself playing this Role, it all depends on whether you are good at playing it or not.
If you choose another person, then along with the Role you can get his illnesses and complexes. True only for the duration of the game. But, if he plays well, then you will most likely do it naturally and reliably. This can be called the "Rule of Wife and Mother-in-law". Or "The Rule of Husband and Mother-in-law".
"When you get married, together with your wife, you get the burden of all her relatives."
The same goes for when you get married.
This is for those who, for certain reasons, cannot get married.
The archetype does not carry any load, but it is too unnatural. Like a hero in a Mexican television series. If he is a rascal, then there is nothing human in him. And if she is a decent girl, then all around are reptiles and do mean things, but she is always good and it has nothing to do with it. It's good to learn Raleigh from the archetype, but I would not particularly recommend taking as an example. It also requires human content.

3. Entering the image.
Now enter this image. And let go of your body. Let him do what he sees fit. If it wants to somehow bend, change position, relax or strain, then allow it to do it. Just be an outside observer. Let Roles play you. But do not forget that the control panel is with you. And she plays you only as long as you give her permission.
I usually say that, on the one hand, this is an extremely simple technique, and on the other hand, it is extremely complex. Simplicity in execution. Difficulty giving up control. In the fact that you need to "let go" of yourself, in passivity.
I'm not talking about fear of something new. It goes without saying.

4. Living in the Role.
In order to better get used to and better understand all the changes that have occurred, talk a little, walk, do different things and think about different things. Get used to this image. Rather, allow this image to get used to you for a while.
Try logging in and out of this Role several times. Feel the difference between your normal state and this new one. Entering a Role is like trying on new clothes. You need to get used to it.

5. Side view.
Now step aside and take a look at both of your Meta Roles and New Roles. What is the difference? How is your perception and your thinking changing? Find and talk about these differences.
After that, think about what situations your old Role is suitable for, what the new one is. And where they both do not fit and something else is needed. Find what unites these types of situations and try to frame it.

Expanding Roles.
To some extent, you have already practiced the first part of this exercise: Role Entry. But now the challenge is a little different - to make your Roles much more flexible. However, you too.
Here is a description of working with Meta-Role. In the case of working with a situational Role, just at the first step, work is carried out with it, and not with the Meta-Role.

1. Old Role.
What role do you play in life. What is your Meta Role. Give it a name and come up with a metaphor to describe it.

2. New Role.
Think about what New Role you would like to work with. Try, for a start, to choose the opposite Role to the one that you play the most in life. In this case, it will be easier for us to work.
But choose the opposite, not formally, but qualitatively. For example, your usual Role is Winner. Formally the opposite is then “Loser”. Well, the qualitatively opposite is "Free". Or "Calm". It only depends on your personal understanding of this qualitative difference. And just like in the first step, give a name and come up with a New Role metaphor.

3. The image of the New Role.
Imagine the image most, according to your ideas, corresponding to this type. Either you are in this state, or a person most characteristic in life in this Role, or a collective image, as it were, an archetype: "Great Mother", "Business Woman", "Superhero".
Place this image a step away from you. And as soon as it becomes clear enough, enter it. And let go of your body. Allow him to act as he sees fit. Walk around, feel what has changed in the movements, in the perception of the world. Talk. Hear how your voice changes. In short, get used to this Role.

4. Clarification of the relationship.
A.
Now turn around and look at the image of your old Raleigh. What do you think of her? What can you say about her from the perspective of the New Role?
B.
Return to Old Role. What can you say about your New Role? What advice or what to ask her?

5. External position.
Go beyond these two Roles. Look at them from the side. What's so great about each of these Roles? What can the Old Role give to the New Role? What can the Old Role take from the New?

6. Expansion of Roles.
Now bring these images closer to each other so that they touch. Let them exchange what they have the most useful and valuable. And watch how the images change. Then let these images dissolve into you. Integrate with them.
You can do this by placing these Roles on your hands and slowly bringing them closer so that the ribs of the palms touch. But don't squeeze them! And you can unite by pressing your hands to your chest and "pushing" into yourself the images of the changed Roles. Then let them melt into you.

7. Verification.
Think about what will change in your life after all these changes. What exactly will change. Try to speak and imagine all this.