The new Decoding will be most useful to those who in their lives have faced anger, aggressive behavior, claims to themselves and others, as well as pressure on the person and anger. She will also touch on the topic of clues, blame shifting and even raising a child?
Why aggression occurs
Today the story will be a little more dramatic than usual, but I would like to give you in transcripts exactly the information that one to one corresponds to the reality that I experienced and the events that I went through. I remind you once again that in the transcripts I talk about events from my life that were dramatic, painful for me, for my ego, because the Soul does not feel pain. Deciphering the meaning of these events, their true essence - why this happened, I strive to ensure that, having seen something like this in your life, you could overcome it as easily as possible, go through, taking wisdom from this event. Therefore, you are welcome - the following transcript will be useful to those who have ever faced aggression, anger, claims to themselves, with some states in which they were pressed on him and even showed, perhaps.
This situation happened relatively regularly - this is a whole period in my life. It is connected with my dad, whom I buried not so long ago. I have already talked about the fate of my dad in certain materials. With all due respect and all love for the soul of my father, I want to tell you this transcript, because I believe that many of you had situations where your parents and relatives showed you a different range of emotions, including not very positive ones. Perhaps you still have some kind of sediment associated with those situations that were in your childhood, when your relatives showed anger towards you, and you had a response anger that requires some attention, but more on that at the very end.
The situations that I will tell you about today happened in the period from 5 to 8 grades - this is the period when I already moved to a new school. My classmates stayed for extended school hours, and I didn't go there because I preferred to do, and sometimes not do, homework. My parents got used to the fact that I came home, brought my backpack to the room - I didn't have my own room, we shared it with my parents - I laid out notebooks and textbooks on the desk and did some homework. As a rule, somewhere from grade 3-5, my parents were very actively involved in checking my homework. If in the first three classes we mostly did homework with my mother, then, starting from the 5th grade, when algebra, and maybe even geometry - subjects that were not easy for me - were connected to my father to check my assignments.
My father was, in the good sense of the word, an insanely educated person and really had a good command of physics, algebra, geometry, drawing, that is, all the exact sciences were given to him very well, and he excelled in all these sciences. Possessing a sufficiently high competence, he, of course, received from my mother an opportunity or a request to check the lessons that I did. Unlike my father, these subjects were not very easy for me. When I tried to complete certain exercises on a textbook in algebra, geometry, physics and similar subjects, my father, while checking them, came across a large number of errors. Due to the fact that my father pointed out these errors to me and offered to solve the example again, but I again did not succeed, and he again and again proposed to solve the example, we had a certain misunderstanding with him.
The misunderstanding was that I did not understand at all where the mistake that I made was located, and my dad really wanted me to find it myself. As a result of these really many hours, in which my father forced me alone with a textbook and a notebook to look for an error, and he went to another room, I experienced a huge amount of unpleasant emotions associated with the fact that I perfectly felt that my dad was experiencing this whole situation. emotions of a certain disappointment, mixed with anger, even some kind of aggression and dislike for me. I felt that dad in this situation was somewhat psychotic and nervous that I could not cope with the simplest task, and he had a feeling that he did not understand inside himself how such a simple example could not be solved by his son, in the end , which is its continuation.
I felt a kind of hatred. Of course, there were situations in which I just cried with a notebook or textbook in my hands, realizing that I was not succeeding. I remember these moments, when my tears dripped onto a notebook, and what was written in a gel pen spread out. From this, my father's anger, probably, against himself, and maybe, for something else, only increased. I want to say right away that at that time and in general in their entire life, my parents never beat me. However, given my high sensitivity, sometimes I would like to be beaten - this is not advice to adults - than my dad would feel such anger and aggression like this, because the situation was so deep. Although, in principle, nothing so terrible happened at first glance, but I felt his emotions.
At that moment, I really wanted it all to end as soon as possible, to be left behind and allowed not to solve this example. It all ended with my father going into the kitchen in aggression and psychosis, leaving me alone with a notebook, after a certain amount of time he seemed calm, he again tried to explain to me what the mistake was, he didn't succeed, he freaked out again even more and went to the kitchen. Faced with these emotions, at that moment I experienced a terrible experience, hatred for learning, for the learning process, for the very idea of solving some example now. The emotions that I had were reinforced by the fact that this happened very often throughout the long years of study. It happened almost every day when dad was at home, of course. In fact, there were similar episodes that happened with my mother,
The bottom line is that at that moment I could not decipher all these situations, understand what the meaning is. I could not explain and give a transcript to my father what was really going on, to explain that I feel that I really do not need it. Then I did not understand why this was happening, what was the meaning of this psychosis, a nervous breakdown, which occurred to the fact that I was not able to decide something, to cope with something, to meet the expectations of my parents. The nervous emotions that arose then were quite painful, traumatic circumstances for me, as a result of which, already in the 5-6th grade, I developed an absolute aversion to education as such and the learning process.
Based on such emotional tests on the part of my father, I already developed a final hatred of the learning process. I completely stopped wanting to learn, my desire for knowledge somehow stalled. I have the only association with any school lessons - a destructive state that I sometimes have to experience in the process of either checking homework, or in the process of providing that I did it. It would seem that so many unpleasant and upsetting things happened then. What can be the decoding of all these trials and episodes? Decryption is actually very simple. Being then in this situation, of course, I was in the field of my parents, my family. From 8 to 18 years old we are in the space of the field of relatives and in many respects we go through joint tests and lessons.
The main point of decoding this situation is as follows. The first is freedom from leads. The idea of clues that I convey in Psychomagic, when we cling to something, become addicted, comes from just such transcripts. My father had a clear lead for intelligence, knowledge, correctness, clarity, literacy. This lead led to the fact that he was very limited in terms of his success in life, material success, the popularity of his work. That is, the first decoding that needs to be understood is that we must be free from any clues, because a clue to our ego, authority, knowledge, a clue to some person in the end always leads to certain experiences and sufferings, which are not good at all. end and lead to additional tests, which again require decryption instead of false interpretations.
The second element of deciphering this whole story is that I want to give a recommendation to all those who now have children and even, maybe, grandchildren. Please do not evaluate your children by grades, by their ability to solve the tasks that the school, university sets for them. A gifted person, even if he is still small, needs to be given wisdom, love and understanding. On the basis of all this, he will already find in what to realize himself in this world. Therefore, you should not evaluate and scold children for deuces, for bad behavior, arrange some sort of showdown and scandals on this basis. Once again, when you want to raise your voice, freak out or attack someone close to you, please pay attention to the fact that most likely, you will do this not because you are unhappy with your child, but because your the ego is hurt by that your continuation did not get what you expected, so that you feel proud of your continuation, and not a feeling of shame. Keep in mind that when you feel ashamed of your continuation, this is your personal lesson and you should work with yourself first, not your child.
The third decoding from this whole situation is that no matter what tests your parents, relatives or loved ones gave you, they are not guilty of this. They simply bear the test that you had to go through in order to become wiser, more conscious, not to repeat their mistakes. The first thing that people who have brought anger, aggression, anger, maybe some additional stress towards you, need is acceptance, understanding and love. If suddenly you are in a situation in which someone in a certain style, in a certain way towards you shows anger and aggression, try to find the strength and awareness in yourself in order to talk about it in a calm and neutral atmosphere and describe what you feel, try to convey and find a general wave in which you are independent, maybe
Here you just need to build a triangle of understanding: give understanding, encouragement and, on the basis of this, build spiritual love with a person. Therefore, do not blame those people who bring negative emotions into your life or provoke you, because they are the greatest teachers for you to evolve and subsequently in relation to your loved ones showed only the brightest and most conscious measures of interaction for joint development and control.
