NLP: metaphors for working with emotions, states, beliefs
The metaphor is present practically in all spheres of human activity. Psychology, PR, marketing are becoming the most relevant areas of use of metaphors. Based on the results of a large-scale study of the phenomenon of genius, Robert Dilts calls the use of metaphors one of the properties of geniuses. The metaphor in working with emotions, states, beliefs is simply a genius find of humanity. Since ancient times, people have used allegory, transfer, to denounce hot temper, aggression, fear. In the culture of ancient China, possession of emotions was considered a valor and an indispensable quality of a real warrior, so ancient metaphors have survived to this day. We can say that managing emotions is one of the main qualities of a modern manager. Here are some useful metaphors for dealing with negative emotional states, limiting beliefs,
Resentment.
A student comes up to the Teacher and says: “Teacher, it's very hard for me to live because people hurt me. And I take offense at people for a long time. What should I do? "The teacher gave him a bag of nails and said," Every time you take offense, you must hammer one nail into the wall. "
On the first day, 26 nails were driven into the wall. The next week, the boy learned to control his anger, and with each passing day, the number of nails driven into the wall began to decrease. The boy realized that it was easier to control his temperament than to drive in nails. Finally the day came when the boy never lost his composure. He told his Master about this and he said: "Every day, when you manage to restrain yourself, you can pull one nail out of the wall."
As time went on, the day came when the boy could inform the Master that not a single nail was left in the wall. Then the Teacher took him by the hand and led him to the wall: “You did a good job, but do you see how many holes there are in the wall? She will never be the same again. When you say something evil to a person, he is left with the same scar as these holes. And no matter how many times you apologize after that, the scar will remain. A verbal scar is as painful as a physical one.
"What should I do with the holes in the wall that were left after the nails?" The student asks. The teacher replied: "But with them you will have to live your whole life."
Five simple rules to be happy.
One day a farmer's donkey fell into a well. He screamed terribly for help. A farmer came running and threw up his hands: "How can we get him out of there?"
Then the owner of the donkey reasoned like this: “My donkey is old. Shouldn't I do it now? At the same time I will bury the donkey so that the smell of decomposition is not heard. "
He invited all his neighbors to help him bury the well. All together took up shovels and began to throw earth into the well. The donkey immediately understood what was going on and began to emit a terrible squeal. And suddenly, to everyone's surprise, he became quiet. After a few throws of land, the farmer decided to see what was down there.
He was amazed at what he saw there. Every piece of earth that fell on his back was shaken off and crushed by the donkey. Very soon, to everyone's amazement, the donkey appeared above - and jumped out of the well!
… In life you will encounter a lot of all kinds of dirt and every time life will send you more and more new portions. Whenever a lump of earth falls, shake it off and go upstairs, and this is the only way you can get out of the well.
Each of the emerging problems is like a stone for crossing a stream. If you don't stop and give up, you can get out of any of the deepest wells.
Shake yourself up and go upstairs. To be happy, remember five simple rules:
1. Free your heart from hate - I'm sorry.
2. Free your heart from worries - most of them do not come true.
3. Lead a simple life and value what you have.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.
Different tactics
Epigraph.
- I work from morning to evening!
- And when do you think?
(Dialogue between the young physicist and the brilliant Rutherford)
You might have seen it on television, heard about it on the radio or in the newspapers, but this time the annual world championship was held in British Columbia. The finalists were Canadian and Norwegian.
Their task was as follows. Each of them was assigned a certain area of the forest. The winner was the one who could knock down the most trees from 8 am to 4 pm.
At eight o'clock in the morning the whistle blew and the two lumberjacks took up their positions. They cut tree after tree until the Canadian heard the Norwegian stop. Realizing that this was his chance, the Canadian redoubled his efforts.
At nine o'clock, the Canadian heard that the Norwegian was back to work. And again they worked almost in sync, when suddenly at ten minutes to ten the Canadian heard the Norwegian stop again. Once again, the Canadian set to work, wanting to take advantage of the enemy's weakness.
At ten o'clock the Norwegian got back to work. Until ten minutes to eleven he paused briefly. With an ever-growing sense of glee, the Canadian continued to work at the same rhythm, already smelling of victory.
And so it went on all day. Every hour the Norwegian stopped for ten minutes while the Canadian continued to work. When the bell rang for the end of the competition, exactly at four o'clock in the afternoon, the Canadian was quite sure that the prize was in his pocket.
You can imagine how surprised he was to learn that he had lost.
- How did it happen? he asked the Norwegian. “Every hour I heard you stop working for ten minutes. How the hell did you manage to chop more wood than I did? It's impossible.
“It's actually very simple,” the Norwegian replied bluntly. - Every hour I stopped for ten minutes. And while you continued to chop wood, I sharpened my ax.
The parable of the raven and the hare
A crow is sitting on a tree branch. A hare runs past. He looked at the crow and asked:
- Crow, can I sit all day and do nothing?
- You can, - the crow answers.
The hare sat down under a tree.
After a while a wolf ran by. I saw a hare sitting quietly under a tree, grabbed it and ate it.
MORAL: to be able to sit and do nothing, you need to sit high.
Two little boys
Last summer, the teacher sat by the sea, resting after a long hike. She ate a sandwich and watched what was happening on the beach. Two little boys, about 6 years old, played together. They ran around, laughed and now, a little tired of this, sat down side by side, not far from her, and began to talk.
Perhaps they just met (children get to know each other easily during the holidays). Finally one said to the other:
- What do you want to become when you grow up? I want to be a neurosurgeon.
- I do not know. I never thought about it. You know, I'm not very smart.
The wind blew their conversation away. And the teacher wondered where the second boy got such a belief in his own limitations. Perhaps from another teacher! Or from your parents. He is six years old, and if he does not change his mind, or someone else does not help him change his point of view, it will have a negative impact on his life, limiting his faith in his own possibilities, fettering his potential.
Beliefs are not true. They are constructed by the environment that organizes our behavior. Each of us acts as if these beliefs were true. And for these reasons, all of our beliefs are confirmed and become "true" by the principle of self-fulfilling prophecy.
The taste of the air
One day Master asked me:
- Do you taste the air?
I sniffed the forest air and named several smells.
- Yes, you have a good sense of smell. But what about taste?
I stuck out my tongue a few times like a dog, but remained at a loss.
“Okay,” Teacher smiled and, jumping up from behind, grabbed me and clamped his mouth and nose.
I realized that resistance was useless, but after a minute the instinct of self-preservation made me jerk my limbs and wriggle. Then Teacher let me go and I breathed in Life with a full breast.
“The taste of life,” I said, catching my breath a little.
- Right. You should always feel this taste. It also tastes like water, food, and more. Don't eat something that doesn't have the main taste. Don't talk to someone who is mentally dead. Drink from the Chalice of Life with pleasure, but take your time, because you can empty it ahead of time, or you can completely spill it. They limit or open up new opportunities
The parable of feelings
They say that once all human feelings and qualities gathered in one corner of the earth.
When BOREDOM yawned for the third time, MADNESS suggested: "Let's play hide and seek !?" INTRIGA raised an eyebrow. “Hide and seek? What kind of game is it??" And MADNESS explained that one of them, for example, it, drives - closes his eyes and counts to a million, while the rest are hiding. The last one to be found will drive next time, and so on. ENTHUSIASM danced with Euphoria, JOY jumped so much that it convinced Doubt, but APATIA, who had never been interested in anything, refused to participate in the game. TRUTH chose not to hide, because in the end it is always found. PRIDE said it was a completely stupid game (she didn't care about anything except herself). And cowardice really did not want to risk it.
- One, two, three ... - the beginning of the account MADNESS. The first to hide was LAZY, she hid behind the nearest stone on the road, VERA ascended to heaven, and ENVY hid in the shadow of TRIUMPH, who, on his own, managed to climb the top of the tallest tree. NOBILITY for a very long time could not hide, as every place that it found seemed ideal for his friends: a crystal clear lake - for BEAUTY. Cleft in the tree - so, this is for FEAR. Butterfly wing is for PONDER. A breath of breeze - after all, this is for FREEDOM! And it disguised itself in a ray of the sun. EGOISM, on the contrary, found only a warm and cozy place for itself. A LIE hid in the depths of the ocean (in fact, it took refuge in a rainbow), and PASSION and DESIRE lurked in the crater of the volcano. FORGETTING, I don't even remember where she hid, and it doesn't matter. When MADNESS counted to 999999, LOVE was still looking for a place to hide, but everything was already taken. But suddenly she saw a wonderful rose bush and decided to hide among its flowers.
- Million, - MADNESS counted and began to search. The first, of course, it found LAZY. Then it heard VERA arguing with God, and it learned about PASSION and DESIRE by the way the volcano trembled. Then MADNESS saw ENVY and guessed where TRIUMPH was hiding.
There was no need to look for selfishness, because the place where he was hiding turned out to be a hive of bees who decided to drive out the intruder. In search of MADNESS went to get drunk to the stream and saw BEAUTY. Doubt sat by the fence, deciding which side to hide from. So, all were found: TALENT - in fresh and juicy grass, SADNESS - in a dark cave, FALSE - in a rainbow (to be honest, it was hiding at the bottom of the ocean). But they couldn't find LOVE ...
MADNESS searched behind every tree, in every stream, on the top of every mountain, and finally, it decided to look in the rose bushes, and when it parted the branches, it heard a scream. Sharp thorns of roses hurt LOVE eyes. MADNESS did not know what to do, began to apologize, cried, prayed, asked for forgiveness and, in atonement for his guilt, promised LOVE to become her guide. And since then, when they played hide and seek for the first time on earth, LOVE is blind and MADNESS leads her by the hand ...
Climbing
Everyone told him that this peak was dangerous. Everyone told him that this mountain is the highest in the world. Everyone told him that no one had been up there yet. But one morning he collected everything he needed and set off on the road.
The climb was incredibly difficult. Many times he balanced on a thin blade between life and death. The body seemed to have become a stranger and sometimes reluctantly reacted to the commands of the brain. But he continued climbing, gritting his teeth and whispering words that no one heard.
The last meters seemed like hell. And now the brain refused to understand where it was, and often painted strange surreal pictures. And then the body took on a seemingly overwhelming task and continued to climb up.
Having reached the top in the pitch darkness, he filled the entire surrounding space with the beastly cry of the winner and forgot himself in a short restless sleep.
However, the dawn gave him new impressions: at a distance of several kilometers from the conquered peak, the path began to the mountain, which was twice as high as the conquered one.
I don’t want ham
!
Your well-being depends on your own decisions.
(John Rockefeller, 1839-1937, richest man in American history).
Two people worked at a construction site. At lunchtime, they used to sit by the side of the road and get out their sandwiches. One man unwrapped a parcel of food, rubbed his hands in anticipation, and said:
- Perfectly! I'm so hungry! Chicken, cheese and tuna sandwiches, chips, fruits ...
The second looked at his sandwiches and sighed heavily.
- Oh my God, this ham again! How tired I am of it! For the third time in a week, ham sandwiches. I can't see her anymore!
“Don’t worry so much,” his friend began to console him. - If you don't want ham, just tell your wife to make you sandwiches with something else!
The man seemed to be confused.
- What are you talking about? - he said. - I'm not married, I make myself sandwiches.
How old are you?
Once Galileo was asked: "How old are you?" He replied: "Eight or ten ..." Of course, he could not be so young, since he already had a gray beard.
Then he commented on his strange answer: “I have as many years as I have left to live: I don’t have the past years, just as you don’t have the money you once spent”.