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Salute, to those who like to break someone else's account, most of us live our lives completely differently from how we would really like it. The 46-year-old Australian banker, whose post caused a lot of buzz on the English-speaking Internet, recounted how he wasted his life and became a complete stranger to himself.
My life has been wasted. I am 46 years old and I have one piece of advice for you. It will be useful to those who are standing at the crossroads of their path right now.
Most people live their lives completely in vain and not at all the way they would like it to be.
My name is John. I need to relieve the pressure in my chest. Speak out. I am a 46-year-old banker who has lived the exact opposite of what I wanted.
All my dreams, my passions - all this is no more. I work from 9 am to 7.6 days a week. All the last 26 years of his life. I have chosen the safest possible path in life. In the end, this path changed me myself.
Today I found out that my wife has been cheating on me for the last 10 years of our marriage. My son doesn't feel anything towards me. I realized that I had missed my father's funeral in exchange for nothing. I am not in love, and I do not travel the world helping the homeless.
All of this is not at all what I dreamed of when I was a self-confident youth in twenty or so. If the little one I was 25-30 years ago, would see me now, he would charge me in the face. I myself, with my own hands, crushed all my dreams.
Let's start with what I was at 20. It seemed to me that I was born only yesterday, and was created in order to change the world. People loved me, and I loved people. I was progressive, creative, spontaneous, willing to take any risks, young man.
I had two dreams. I wanted to write a book, a real bestseller. Secondly, I wanted to travel the world and help the homeless along the way.
By that time, I had known my future wife for four years. Young love. She loved me for my unpredictability, energy and the ability to make anyone laugh at any time. We both felt loved in each other's arms.
I knew that my book would someday change the world. I would tell people from my own experience that all people are different, and that this is great. I would tell them that everyone has the right not to walk in a corporate system and not become like everyone else. And this is not "wrong", but simply different. At 20, I wrote the first 70 pages of this book. Now I'm 46, and there are still 70 of them in it.
When I was 20, I already tried myself as a mountaineer in New Zealand and the Philippines. I was planning a big trip to Asia, then another one - across Europe, and most importantly - across America (I live in Australia, by the way). Do you know how many countries have I visited with my 46? In two: the Philippines and New Zealand.
I don't know exactly when it all went wrong. I'm sorry. I was 20. I was the only child in the family. I needed stability and solid support under my feet. Therefore, first I went to university, and then I got a job, which began to dictate to me how to live.
I always worked from 9 am to 7 am. What was I just thinking?
How could I turn my life into one continuous job? I come home, have dinner, sit in my papers a little again, and then go to bed. At 10 pm Because tomorrow I have to wake up again at 6 in the morning. My God, I can't even remember the last time I made love to my wife.
Yesterday she could not stand it, and admitted that she had been cheating on me for 10 years already. 10 years. Does it seem too long for me to overlook? Not even that hurts, but the fact that she says that I have changed. I'm not the man she married anymore. What has happened in these ten years? I don't remember what happened during those years. Can't remember anything but work. During these years I was a banker. But he was not a husband. And he was not himself.
Who am I? What happened to me? I am not even able to demand a divorce or yell at her. I can't even cry. When she confessed her infidelity to me, I felt nothing. I cannot cry even now, when I write this text.
To be honest, I don't care if my wife cheated on me. Much more important is another insight that descended on me: I am dying. From the inside. And I'm dying much faster than I think.
What happened to that funny, risky and energetic guy who dreamed of going everywhere and changing the world? And what happened to that girl who was once the first beauty of the school, and now vegetates next to me? God, I was really popular with girls at school! And at the university too. But I was faithful to her. Every day. All my fucking life.
Remember, I once told you that I tried mountaineering? It was my second or third year in college. I worked part-time at a local restaurant as a waiter and let go of everything I earned. Now I am trying to save every penny. I don't remember the last time I wasted my time and money on something funny. To myself.
The saddest thing about all this is that now I don't even know what I want. Those. I understand that life would not hurt to somehow change, but I don't know how.
My father died ten years ago. I remember how my mother called me and said that he was getting worse and worse. I felt sorry for the old man, but I was too busy to go home: the prospect of a big promotion loomed in front of me. I put off my visit again and again, hoping that my father would wait for me before he died. In the end, he died, and I got my promotion. Only now I understand that by that time I had not seen him for 15 years.
When he died, I told myself that it didn't really matter. In the end, we never met: we had a strained relationship. I'm an atheist. And I found an excuse for myself: my father is already dead, and he doesn't care whether I came to him or not.
Rationalization is all it takes to produce an endless supply of excuses. And also procrastination. "I will definitely do it. But sometime later." After all, financial security is the most important concern in life.
Now I realize that I was seriously mistaken. Don't get me wrong: I'm not whining, I'm just warning you: don't waste the irrepressible energy of your youth on the golden calf. Don't waste your youth endlessly trying to grow up faster. I am now very sorry for letting work take over my whole life without a trace. I'm sorry I turned into a terrible husband, but a good money-making machine.
I regret that I did not finish my book, that I never began to travel the world. I don't have a strong emotional bond with my son. I lost him just like my father lost me. From an emotional and cheerful guy, I turned into a wallet.
If you are reading this text and you have your whole life ahead of you, please do not put it off until later. Don't leave your dreams for later. Try to spend all your energy on what you really want to do. Do not surf the Internet all your free time (if the Internet is not the main passion of your life).
Please do something with your life while you are young. Have a lot of fun. Don't forget about your friends and your family. Don't waste your life. Strive to realize your ambitions - right now, not sometime later. Don't become like me.
My life has been wasted. I am 46 years old and I have one piece of advice for you. It will be useful to those who are standing at the crossroads of their path right now.
Most people live their lives completely in vain and not at all the way they would like it to be.
My name is John. I need to relieve the pressure in my chest. Speak out. I am a 46-year-old banker who has lived the exact opposite of what I wanted.
All my dreams, my passions - all this is no more. I work from 9 am to 7.6 days a week. All the last 26 years of his life. I have chosen the safest possible path in life. In the end, this path changed me myself.
Today I found out that my wife has been cheating on me for the last 10 years of our marriage. My son doesn't feel anything towards me. I realized that I had missed my father's funeral in exchange for nothing. I am not in love, and I do not travel the world helping the homeless.
All of this is not at all what I dreamed of when I was a self-confident youth in twenty or so. If the little one I was 25-30 years ago, would see me now, he would charge me in the face. I myself, with my own hands, crushed all my dreams.
Let's start with what I was at 20. It seemed to me that I was born only yesterday, and was created in order to change the world. People loved me, and I loved people. I was progressive, creative, spontaneous, willing to take any risks, young man.
I had two dreams. I wanted to write a book, a real bestseller. Secondly, I wanted to travel the world and help the homeless along the way.
By that time, I had known my future wife for four years. Young love. She loved me for my unpredictability, energy and the ability to make anyone laugh at any time. We both felt loved in each other's arms.
I knew that my book would someday change the world. I would tell people from my own experience that all people are different, and that this is great. I would tell them that everyone has the right not to walk in a corporate system and not become like everyone else. And this is not "wrong", but simply different. At 20, I wrote the first 70 pages of this book. Now I'm 46, and there are still 70 of them in it.
When I was 20, I already tried myself as a mountaineer in New Zealand and the Philippines. I was planning a big trip to Asia, then another one - across Europe, and most importantly - across America (I live in Australia, by the way). Do you know how many countries have I visited with my 46? In two: the Philippines and New Zealand.
I don't know exactly when it all went wrong. I'm sorry. I was 20. I was the only child in the family. I needed stability and solid support under my feet. Therefore, first I went to university, and then I got a job, which began to dictate to me how to live.
I always worked from 9 am to 7 am. What was I just thinking?
How could I turn my life into one continuous job? I come home, have dinner, sit in my papers a little again, and then go to bed. At 10 pm Because tomorrow I have to wake up again at 6 in the morning. My God, I can't even remember the last time I made love to my wife.
Yesterday she could not stand it, and admitted that she had been cheating on me for 10 years already. 10 years. Does it seem too long for me to overlook? Not even that hurts, but the fact that she says that I have changed. I'm not the man she married anymore. What has happened in these ten years? I don't remember what happened during those years. Can't remember anything but work. During these years I was a banker. But he was not a husband. And he was not himself.
Who am I? What happened to me? I am not even able to demand a divorce or yell at her. I can't even cry. When she confessed her infidelity to me, I felt nothing. I cannot cry even now, when I write this text.
To be honest, I don't care if my wife cheated on me. Much more important is another insight that descended on me: I am dying. From the inside. And I'm dying much faster than I think.
What happened to that funny, risky and energetic guy who dreamed of going everywhere and changing the world? And what happened to that girl who was once the first beauty of the school, and now vegetates next to me? God, I was really popular with girls at school! And at the university too. But I was faithful to her. Every day. All my fucking life.
Remember, I once told you that I tried mountaineering? It was my second or third year in college. I worked part-time at a local restaurant as a waiter and let go of everything I earned. Now I am trying to save every penny. I don't remember the last time I wasted my time and money on something funny. To myself.
The saddest thing about all this is that now I don't even know what I want. Those. I understand that life would not hurt to somehow change, but I don't know how.
My father died ten years ago. I remember how my mother called me and said that he was getting worse and worse. I felt sorry for the old man, but I was too busy to go home: the prospect of a big promotion loomed in front of me. I put off my visit again and again, hoping that my father would wait for me before he died. In the end, he died, and I got my promotion. Only now I understand that by that time I had not seen him for 15 years.
When he died, I told myself that it didn't really matter. In the end, we never met: we had a strained relationship. I'm an atheist. And I found an excuse for myself: my father is already dead, and he doesn't care whether I came to him or not.
Rationalization is all it takes to produce an endless supply of excuses. And also procrastination. "I will definitely do it. But sometime later." After all, financial security is the most important concern in life.
Now I realize that I was seriously mistaken. Don't get me wrong: I'm not whining, I'm just warning you: don't waste the irrepressible energy of your youth on the golden calf. Don't waste your youth endlessly trying to grow up faster. I am now very sorry for letting work take over my whole life without a trace. I'm sorry I turned into a terrible husband, but a good money-making machine.
I regret that I did not finish my book, that I never began to travel the world. I don't have a strong emotional bond with my son. I lost him just like my father lost me. From an emotional and cheerful guy, I turned into a wallet.
If you are reading this text and you have your whole life ahead of you, please do not put it off until later. Don't leave your dreams for later. Try to spend all your energy on what you really want to do. Do not surf the Internet all your free time (if the Internet is not the main passion of your life).
Please do something with your life while you are young. Have a lot of fun. Don't forget about your friends and your family. Don't waste your life. Strive to realize your ambitions - right now, not sometime later. Don't become like me.
