NLP: suggestions

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At one time in American films, heroes were popular who, on their way to work, listened to audio recordings, where a pleasant voice (usually male) was broadcasting:

- I'm confident in myself. I can handle. I can control my life.

And this very hero, following the voice, repeated:

- I'm confident in myself. I can handle. I can control my life.

The person on the screen was engaged in self-hypnosis. That is, he inspired something to himself.

Suggestion is quite an interesting thing: it is used in many directions, from auto-training to Ecricksonian hypnosis and NLP, it works effectively, and at the same time it explains the principle of its work in a very large number of ways. I will give one of the options.

When we speak, we create a certain reality. If a person believes in this reality, he begins to behave in accordance with it.

If a person believes that he is confident in himself - he behaves in accordance with this idea. If he believes that he is a failure, the same is true.

Therefore, it is better to believe that you will cope with the task or successfully achieve the goal.

It is with the help of suggestions that we create this reality.

Accordingly, there are certain rules that help create a useful reality for a person, in which he will believe.

At the same time, we regularly make suggestions to ourselves and those around us, but not all of these suggestions are useful. Moreover, when people make these suggestions, in most cases, they absolutely do not want to harm. It's just that the language works this way.

A person walks and tries to motivate himself: “Well, how can you be so wrong? Why am I so dumb? "- and gives himself the command to be stupid. I don't think he wanted to make himself such a suggestion.

For example, the mother's cry: “Don't run, you will fall” is a typical suggestion “denial in a command” and can be perceived by a child as a command to run and fall. And the obedient child runs and falls. The mother just doesn't want the child to fall, but ...

- You are so smart, kind, beautiful - why are you so bad with the men? - encourages a friend. Using the "sequence of acceptance" in speech and instilling "bad with men."

So let's practice making good and helpful suggestions.

TYPES OF INSURANCE

First, suggestions can be divided into "suggestions to oneself" - self-suggestion - and "suggestions to others." The rules for them are approximately the same, so I will not dwell on the differences.

Second, there are direct and indirect suggestions. With direct suggestion to a person, they usually say directly:

- Did you confidence yourself.

Or:

- You will easily achieve your goal.

But in the normal state, most people are quite skeptical about such statements. So direct suggestions more or less work only when the person is in a trance.

In auto-training, a person puts himself into a trance (that is, auto-training is a type of self-hypnosis) and makes a suggestion to himself, in hypnosis the operator puts a person into a trance and inspires him with something.

Therefore, in everyday communication, disguised, indirect suggestions are used. They use different mechanisms for camouflage, but the general approach is to somehow distract consciousness so that the team reaches the unconscious.

USAGE

Suggestions, as already mentioned, create a certain reality.

For example, if you want a person to really call you, create a reality in which he will definitely do it. For example, the question: "When will you call me?" - creates a reality in which a person necessarily calls. Unlike the phrase: "Will you call me back?" - in which there is a choice that a person will not do it.

So with their help, you can create a reality in which a person:
  • more successful;
  • learns foreign words faster;
  • gets up easily in the morning;
  • self-assured;
  • healthy;
  • he copes with problems himself;
  • achieves the set goals;
  • enjoys life.
For example, as a trainer, when teaching a group, it is convenient for me to create a reality in which the students:
  • learn faster;
  • they are interested;
  • succeed;
  • remember the material easily.
In the same way, you can create a reality for yourself in which you:
  • disciplined;
  • assiduous;
  • self-confident;
  • control your emotions;
  • love to play sports;
  • go to bed on time;
  • happy.
And so on, the lists can be continued at will.

INDIRECT INTRACTIONS

There are quite a few types of indirect suggestions, and they are grouped in different directions and even called differently.

For example, what NLP calls presuppositions are called implications in Ericksonian hypnosis.

In the following chapters, we will look at six of the most common options.

PRESUPPOSITION

Such a construction of a phrase in which the team is presented as something beyond doubt.

- When will you call me?

In this matter, there is no doubt about whether the person will call or not.

- Which exercise will you do first?

There is no doubt that a person will do the exercises, the question is only in the sequence.

- Write to us why you love Galina Blanca.

You love "Galina Blanca", it remains only to find out why.

DENIAL IN THE TEAM

The unconscious, which is more prone to synthetic holistic thinking, has a hard time treating denials: don't run, don't look, don't walk - that's why it just throws them away. And it turns out: run, look, walk.

Simply for denial, one must first present the object, and then deny it. This is easily handled by logical sequential thinking inherent in consciousness.

So in the phrase: “Do not sign the contract without reading it carefully again” - contains the command “sign the contract”.

TRUISMS

Truism is a phrase that fully corresponds to reality.

- Paris is the capital of France.

- People are successful.

- You are able to relax.

Truisms set the frame for the perception of reality and work like suggestions.

NON-VERBAL SEPARATIONS

You can go into a trance slowly, you can not go into a trance at all, but I think you will go into it quickly.

You can offer a person choices, but more “correct” ones are non-verbal. And he, completely unconsciously, will lean towards them.

EMBEDDED MESSAGES

Ericksonian hypnosis uses the term contextual suggestion.

If you highlight part of words from speech or text non-verbally, they begin to be perceived by the unconscious as commands.

- You are reading this book now, and some of you find it difficult to keep your attention. But it's easy to get distracted. This is fine.

Command: "Keeping attention is easy."

SEQUENCE OF ACCEPTANCE

A common trick in everyday life: you make a few statements that the person sincerely agrees with, and then insert the command.

- We have already been studying for several hours, some of you are tired and want to rest, but right now it will be easy for you to remember everything.

First, there are three phrases with which people agree (if they really studied for several hours, are tired and want to rest) and the command: "now it will be easy for you to remember everything." These three initial statements are needed to give the impression that the last sentence is true.

CONDITIONS OF INTEGRATION

It is not enough to be able to insert commands into speech - you also need to ensure the conditions of interaction in which the commands become suggestions.

RAPPORT

Suggestions only work if there is rapport.

Well, it happened. That's not my fault. Without rapport, all these things are useless.

TRANCE

It is better if the interlocutor is in a trance. Not necessarily deep, light enough. Not necessary, but helpful.

INTENTION

Suggestions must support the client's intentions.

At least some.

If suggestions are not built into the client's card, then they will either not be perceived by them at all, or they will stop working after some time.

That is, if a person is not going to buy anything, in principle, you are unlikely to be able to instill this idea in him. But if he is going to buy, but still does not make a decision, suggestion can help him do it faster.

DESIGNING TEAMS

Now we will talk about how to construct commands correctly. There are a few basic rules.

SIMPLE PHRASE

It is desirable that the phrase be simple - without any complex sentences: do it, go, you are confident, you feel good.

POSITIVE FORMULATION

What a person should do, not what he should stop doing.

ACTION OR EVALUATION

Commands relate to either specific actions:
  • take out the trash;
  • do your homework;
  • feel confident;
  • Relax;
  • call tomorrow.
Or change the estimate:
  • you are successful;
  • you like to study;
  • you are assiduous;
  • I like to run in the morning (for self-hypnosis);
  • it's easy to do.
SINGLE-SIGNED TREATMENT

It is desirable that the phrase has only one meaning.

For example, the phrase "start a project" has at least two meanings: start a project and abandon a project.

Also, use only phrases with direct meaning, and not ideomatic expressions such as "bury talent in the ground", "play the first violin", "separate the wheat from the chaff."

Examples of successful commands:
  • I'm confident in myself.
  • I can easily memorize new foreign words.
  • Call me tomorrow.
  • Sign the contract.
  • You like to run in the morning.
  • You are relaxing.
  • It's easy for you to focus.
  • You get well quickly.
  • The pain goes away.
EXERCISE "DESIGN TEAMS"

Come up with 3-4 commands for each of the stated problems / tasks:
  • I regularly go to bed early, but stay up late at the computer.
  • The teenager is afraid of passing the exams.
  • The husband forgets to take out the trash.
  • I can't bring myself to run in the morning.
  • It is difficult to memorize foreign words.
Please note that the same problem can be solved in different ways. First, it is advisable to find out what exactly prevents a person from doing what he wants. For example, "it is difficult to memorize foreign words" may be because:
  • The person lacks the motivation to repeat them.
  • He postpones classes all the time.
  • He doesn't remember well.
  • He is inattentive during class, distracted all the time.
  • He doesn't like learning this language.
  • Etc.
Accordingly, the teams will be different.

Secondly, you can give commands both for action and for changing the assessment.

- You are able to quickly learn new French words.

- You like learning new French words.

etc ..
 

NLP: What is Neuro-Hypnotic Repattering (NHR)?​


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Neuro-Hypnotic Repattering uses the process of hypnosis to restructure a person at the level of the pathways of the cerebral cortex. Through NHR, people learn to manage their senses. Most of the problems people have are something they are doing and the non-resource states they have at that moment, so it works automatically, but none of this happened when they were children. These are all learned behaviors and when you change that pattern in a trance, for someone, what you are doing is essentially learning not to do what you don't want to do!

Archive storage systems should always have a changeable part so that obsolete information can be replaced with newer information. So if you teach someone new ways to respond, it's easy enough, because they never fall into the past non-resource state system again. Everything that a person has ever learned always remains with him, however, what needs to be done is to create a turn in the other direction, in the pathways of the brain, and teach something new. People always, one way or another, constantly retrain everything that they can. The older we get, the more millions of new neural connections we create and there is an incredible amount of things that we do automatically - shaking hands, kissing, and all other kinds of pleasant experiences, but sometimes this list includes annoyance and anger.
After I created NLP, primarily designed to learn the ways in which someone does something and to pass that skill on to someone else. Design Human Engineering (DHE) explores the limitations that humans produce and then artfully creates things that have never been used before as thought processes. All of these things are based and started with the fact that we once did hypnosis, so I went back to creating deep trances and seeing how to get people to react to their life situations differently than they did before. ... Think of the many things that people do, such as fear or depression, all of these things create a chemical basis in the body for their existence, which affects how what you do and all you have to do is put the person in the moment before they plunged into a chemical bath of depression or suddenly got angry or scared to try something new or became extremely shy. They need to start to get embarrassed at a certain moment in time and if just before that moment it was possible to direct them in some other direction. All of this relates to the use of deep trance state tools to be able to make all-encompassing changes in a wide range of behavioral patterns, to teach people the most meaningful thing worth spending much more time practicing - feeling great than practicing non-resource states. to make it a habit. how he plunged into a chemical bath of depression or was suddenly angry or afraid to try new things or became extremely shy. They need to start to get embarrassed at a certain moment in time and if just before that moment it was possible to direct them in some other direction. All of this relates to the use of deep trance state tools to be able to make all-encompassing changes in a wide range of behavioral patterns, to teach people the most meaningful thing worth spending much more time practicing - feeling great than practicing non-resource states. to make it a habit. how he plunged into a chemical bath of depression or was suddenly angry or afraid to try new things or became extremely shy. They need to start to be embarrassed at a certain moment in time and if just before that moment it was possible to direct them in some other direction. All of this relates to the use of deep trance state tools to be able to make all-encompassing changes in a wide range of behavioral patterns, to teach people the most meaningful thing worth spending much more time practicing - feeling great than practicing non-resource states. to make it a habit. They need to start to be embarrassed at a certain moment in time and if just before that moment it was possible to direct them in some other direction. All of this relates to the use of deep trance state tools to be able to make all-encompassing changes in a wide range of behavioral patterns, to teach people the most meaningful thing worth spending much more time practicing - feeling great than practicing non-resource states. to make it a habit. They need to start to be embarrassed at a certain moment in time and if just before that moment it was possible to direct them in some other direction. All of this relates to the use of deep trance state tools to be able to make all-encompassing changes in a wide range of behavioral patterns, to teach people the most meaningful thing worth spending much more time practicing - feeling great than practicing non-resource states. to make it a habit.

If you have some education in NLP that's great, if not, then I designed my workshops in such a way as to teach people to do certain things without having to learn everything that is and what I have ever done and repeat all my mistakes. Even if you go back to what I was doing and it worked great, I found options to do the same thing in an even better way, more quickly and easily. I started DHE because NLP was just an extraction of strategies and most of them were based on non-resource states, avoidance of something, and when you avoid some things and walk with your back, you just have to get stuck somewhere. Thus, I wanted to learn how to change experience so that we concentrate on the main instinct for people - the desire to feel good. For the simple reason that when a person is feeling bad, he or she makes bad choices and bad decisions.

There is nothing that can be difficult, the only condition that there is the need to be someone who is able to experience pleasant sensations. What is important always remains not fully explored is the answer to the question of how much pleasure and enjoyment I can experience, with how much ecstasy and excitement I can live, how much more successful can I still be? Because if you put yourself in a good state, then there is nothing left that the person is not able to do. People climbed the highest mountains, flew to the moon, they did everything that was only previously imagined as impossible, and those things that we still do not know how to do not mean that we will not do them. All of this relates to re-creating the way you connect yourself to yourself physically, mentally, and to some extent spiritually.
No matter how you make your living, if you interact with other people, you are already using hypnosis to one degree or another, whether you know about it or not. This is how the language works. This is not some other process, these are skills of precision, because we are not talking about rocking the clock here and there, we mean gaining a kind of control that was previously only available to yogis or monks. Most people don't spend a lot of time getting their brains and their bodies in the best possible condition.

Translated from the methodological materials of the training The Best of Dr Richard Bandler Latest developments in NLP introducing and utilizing DHE and NHR. Amsterdam May 2010
 

NLP: detune​


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The rapport is absolutely essential for high-quality communication, but what if you don't need this communication?
There are tons of people who want to talk to us and convince us of something: buy a wonderful Canadian drill, join a completely wonderful religious community, or vote for an even more wonderful candidate. They are usually quite persuasive and can get into rapport quickly.
And there are also kind-hearted people who sincerely want to help you and tell you about the correct idea of the world: that everything is bad, everything was stolen, no one can be trusted, a UFO will fly in and everybody's skiff , and there is no happiness in this life. They speak very congruently and adjust well.
There is also advertising. On TV. There, too, quite pleasant and somewhat familiar people promise something, from losing weight in half an hour to a bulletproof door at all times. And after all, everything seems to be so sweet and sincere.
The rapport is a mutual thing: if it is installed, then not only you can influence the person, but he, with the same success, can influence you. So there are situations when we need rapport, and there are situations when it clearly interferes.
A good car should not only have gas, but also a brake.

In addition, all types of speech influence work only if there is a rapport.

No rapport, no impact.

So, how to destroy (or reduce) rapport: detuning.

How to build up
Naturally, in order to tune, you can simply change the speed and / or energy so as to go into a strongly different state. But in practice, it is not at all that simple - just distracted, and again in rapport.
Especially if a person communicates with you who purposefully adjusts.
So I want to offer you a more interesting way: unconscious detuning. You are simply giving your unconscious a command to rebuild. And since the unconscious loves images and metaphors, a metaphor for disconnection is needed: the image of a wall, door, glass, fence, etc. And you represent this wall (glass, door, etc.) between yourself and the one from whom you want to build up. What kind of wall to represent is your own business - some like concrete more, others like brick, and still others like Carrara marble.
It is clear that no astral wall arises - just a visual metaphor. With a certain training, you may not imagine anything at all. It's just that the image of a wall (door, etc.) works for 95% of people, so I suggest it.

More poetic ...
One can imagine an old fortress wall several tens of meters high, made of boulders, covered with cracks and overgrown with moss. She thoroughly fences off from the world. No foreign influence will pass through it. Actually, you will not know what is going on behind this wall.
Or you can imagine a wall of glass that is transparent and creates some kind of haze in the image. Looking through it, it seems that you are looking into an aquarium - people are visible, they move, but not a sound reaches.
One can imagine simple brickwork, with still damp dark gray cement and bright red-orange new bricks.
Or imagine a metal door, steel gray, with locks and locks.

In short - walk fantasy.
Just keep in mind that each image will give slightly different results - from full and final adjustment to a simple decrease in the rapport level. Metaphors are like that.
After that, you need to "let go" of yourself - just allow the body to do what it wants: to change posture, speech speed, voice pitch.
Your task is simply to hold onto the image of the wall, the unconscious will do the rest.
Here, the non-verbal does not change too much: a slight tilt back, relaxation of the face, slightly lower speed. But the meta message changes drastically.
And here it is important to choose the level and degree of detachment. In one case, you need to disconnect completely and forever, in the other, you just need to objectively listen to the person, carefully weighing his words. And excessive trust makes him take his words on faith without verification.

So choose the right metaphor.
Naturally, if you build up the communication continues. But its quality becomes different. If the level of trust has become very low, we can assume that the conversation is almost over. It becomes extremely boring for both parties to communicate. At medium levels of trust, the conversation continues, but it is not as trusting.

When to build up
You already understood how to build up. But when? It is clear that the criteria are different for each person. And you have to think about them yourself. For example:
  • to protect against unwanted exposure;
  • for a more critical attitude to information;
  • to end the conversation;
  • in order not to pay attention (this is how the meta-message "I am not" is done);
  • to transfer communication from personal to official format;
  • to quickly end a conversation.

Exercises

Tuning criteria

Write down a list of the criteria that "it's time to build up." Imagine at least three situations for each criterion.

Choosing a metaphor
Imagine the person with whom you want to communicate. And now there is a glass wall between you - how does the perception of this person and his words change? And now the brick wall is 50 centimeters high. What changed? Lattice, concrete wall two meters thick ...
Experiment mentally and see the result.

Level of detachment
The standard requirements for state management are to turn it on and off when necessary, and hold it at a predetermined level.
That is, here you train the skill of retaining the image. While it is possible without communication: I presented a wall of the required height (transparency, thickness, type) - I held the image for several minutes - I removed it.

"Wall"
In human groups: Operator, Client and Observer. The Operator and the Client are having a conversation about some interesting topic. The operator first adjusts, and then at some point rebuilds - he imagines that there is a wall between him and the Client (closed door, grill, glass). Then it adjusts again. In total, during the conversation, you need to build up three times. It is highly desirable to start and end communication in a state of rapport.

The observer monitors the conversation and tries to guess how
at the moment there was a "detuning" and how exactly the communication changed at that moment

Field training
The previous exercise, but without an observer. And the Client does not know at all that they are training on it.
Establish rapport - after some time build up - restore rapport.
Only you need to tune out not too abruptly: a quick and sudden detachment causes strong unpleasant experiences in people that they can associate with you. And behave accordingly.
 

NLP: how to construct phrases correctly?​


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"Speak not so that you can be understood, but speak so that you cannot be misunderstood." At the end, we will give specific examples from practice:

Method 1.
A banal phrase - "Friend, make yourself a break and make me coffee." As much as annoying your interlocutors from such impudence, he will still go to the kitchen and make coffee, as the phrase you said consists of two theses, namely "... make yourself a break" and "... make me coffee. " You first said what he needs, and then what you need. The brain of your interlocutor perceives the phrase built by you as follows: "If I want to rest, I need to make coffee."
Therefore, in order to achieve in a conversation with an interlocutor, when constructing a phrase at the beginning of a sentence, give what the interlocutor needs, for example: "Vladimir, I want to offer you to earn some money by changing the pipes in my apartment. "Thus, you offer the interlocutor to earn money and at the same time made it clear to him that this needs to be done very cheaply. You can also use this technique for constructing phrases in advertisements.

Method 2.
You need to get the phone number of the girl you like. How to do this so that there is no "misfire"? The option is as follows: You can approach her and say the following phrase: "Girl, can I ask my friend to come to you tomorrow in the middle of the day in order to ask your phone number so that I can call you" Frightened by such a difficult scenario for tomorrow day, in most cases, you will immediately receive a phone number.

In this situation, the following principle works: the young man deliberately created a very difficult scenario for the girl, for tomorrow, to get a number. After what she heard, the girl immediately imagined how tomorrow some young man would come to her work, and even at lunchtime, to ask for a phone number. ... "how difficult it is" - she will present and in most cases give the phone at once, in order to avoid all the complexity.

Method 3.
There are words such as: always, again, constantly, every time, etc.
Hearing these and similar words in relation to oneself, a person, in most cases, tries to quickly do as he is told.
For example, the dialogue between husband and wife - "Dear, your dirty socks are in the hall again, and not in dirty linen, you always leave them here, you always try to make me angry, do you constantly forget about it?" With this technique, the girl tries to "intensify-complicate" the situation in order to quickly get the desired result. After listening to a large number of such words in his address, the young man will try to resolve this problem as soon as possible. The use of such words in a conversation, in most cases, will help you quickly solve the questions you need as needed.

Method 4:
The next example of achieving the desired result in a conversation with an interlocutor is a partial repetition of the end of his phrase, ie, in order to achieve the desired result, try to repeat the end of his phrase with your own. The interlocutor will perceive your phrase as his own, since part of the sentence he said was used by it.

Method 5:
All sentences and phrases starting with the words: Please, be kind, dear, etc. will certainly help to achieve the desired result in the dialogue.

Method 6:
Another example that can be applied in communication is voice stress on the word you need. For example: "How many animals of each pair did Moses take with him to the ark? The phrase" ... of each pair ... "is emphasized in a louder voice, thereby forcing the interlocutor to stop attention on this, distracting from the main goal.the respondent will give the correct answer, but Moses was never in the ark, Noah took the animals into the ark and it is called Noah's ark.Most people who are asked this question know that the ark is Noah, but they were deliberately knocked off the target by stress on another phrase.

Method 7:
When talking, when it comes to something very pleasant for the interlocutor, and his reaction to this is "smile" and "cheerful emotions", try to touch him at this moment. The sensations of touch in the interlocutor will remain in memory (at a good moment), which will mean that only pleasant memories are associated with you.
 
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