How to be a happy carder: knowledge and skills

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Hundreds of books and tens of thousands of articles have been written on how to be happy. The information in these materials is certainly useful. The only problem is that we are often very busy and do not have time to follow the proposed instructions, or we are too skeptical and do not believe in their effectiveness. In this article, we tried to collect as much advice as possible and create such motivation so that you have an irresistible desire to change your life.

Part one: the basics​

Stop being distracted by the irrelevant​

Every yes you say when choosing what to do now is no to hundreds of other possibilities. Focus is the key to everything.

As trite as it may seem, the secret of success is actually so simple: do the most important thing and stop doing stupid things. Of course, this is not easy, and it is not clear what is the most valuable thing in our life. In this article, we will just cover many aspects.

Do you feel overwhelmed by your daily or work tasks? Then, quite possibly, you lack awareness of what is most important and what needs to be said "yes" first.

There are a lot of unnecessary things in our life, which takes not only time, but also our energy:

• an additional project that you are doing.
• one more job.
• things you no longer need.
• old habits that pull back.

The inability to say no is often dictated by the fear of missing out on an opportunity, to close a door in front of oneself that can no longer be opened. But we cannot have everything, so we have to choose, weed out the unnecessary: less useful or interesting at the moment.

Before making a decision, always ask yourself: "How will this affect me and my future?"

Of course, now you may not know what to say yes to. So just take this advice and let's move on.

Realize Your True Values​

The single most important element of a fulfilling life is understanding your true personal values and aligning your existence with them.

Values mean those activities and goals that most fuel your soul. What you are hungry for, what you like to read, what to think and dream about, what inspires you, brings joy.

For example: family, career, athletic physique, art, spirituality, travel, socializing, building your own business, and more. It should be something that you love to do without any self-interest, even financial. It is likely that Steve Jobs was primarily eager to change the world, rather than become a millionaire, and therefore succeeded.

Finding something to do with your soul will take some serious introspection and find your personal sources of enthusiasm and motivation. Try to identify 3-4 most important areas for yourself.

Build your life in line with your values​

Your happiness is the ability to live without compromising your values. This is what we want to do, what makes us alive.

The more often your daily thoughts and actions are in harmony with your values, the happier you are.

You already have 3-4 core values, now let's rank them in order of importance. The most important value should direct your thoughts in the right direction every day, then in the future it will become easier for you to make the right choice in any situation.

Find out what 3 changes you need to make in your life to start living in accordance with your values.

Act out of creative freedom, not need​

From the moment of birth, each of us is influenced by the environment in the person of family members, friends, society, media, teachers, etc. Thousands of messages appear in the field of our consciousness, addressed to us by external voices. How can you find your own voice in this noise?

First of all, you need to identify your core values (which we have already done). Then you need to set aside time to communicate with yourself, which you can spend in solitude and silence. Meditation, travel, and introspection (reading, journaling) work well for this.

Next, you should analyze your past actions and understand what decisions you made out of necessity, and what you did because you really wanted it yourself. In the life of every person, you can find enough of these moments.

For example, even if some of your actions, taken for reasons of creative freedom, were difficult, you probably know that they are correct. The key is to get as many of them as possible.

Many people quit their office work because they don't feel happy. They start a business or find other ways to make money that make them feel alive.

Live in the present, but don't seek short-term pleasures​

If you remember the past too often, how good it was then, or are too fixated on the future, when your life finally sparkles with new colors, this is a prime example of imbalance.

Thoughts like these make us feel unhappy at the moment, waiting for something better all the time, or thinking about how great it was before. You should not sacrifice the present, learn to enjoy today, focus on what you live now, find what pleases you.

After all, you are betraying the very concept of happiness if you believe that it looms somewhere in the future. However, all this does not mean that you need to look for short-term pleasures that will make you happy right now, as a rule, their effect disappears very quickly.

The skill of gratitude is a skill that each of us needs to develop. It is with him that you can enjoy the present every day and strive to make your future even better.

Feed your senses with the right food​

Our body feeds on food, water and other elements, the mind - on ideas and five senses. The quality of our mind and inner well-being is deeply shaped by what we look, listen to, what we observe, what smells we smell, what we touch, what we read and what we think about.

How are you feeding your senses?

Music affects mood. Depending on the genre, it can evoke inspiration, calmness, excitement, or depression and aggression. The same applies to the films that we watch, the books we read, the people with whom we communicate.

For each senses, make a list of the things you want to feed them. Stick to your plan.

Enter flow state​

Flow is a wonderful state of being fully integrated with current activities. You are in the process with your mind and soul, as if you are disappearing, and there is nothing else in the world. Maximum concentration.

And it doesn't matter what you do. A stream can occur during any activity.

Flow theorist Mihai Csikszentmihalyi introduced several conditions for entering the flow state. Their main point is to find an activity that you really enjoy, increase its complexity in such a way that you will not be bored (but not too difficult) and do it without any distractions.

What actions are you most likely to use to enter the stream? How can this process be accelerated?

Part two: mentality and attitude​

Our outlook on life determines our experience of life: do we feel pain or joy? In this part of the article, we will learn to interpret our reality in such a way as to feel happy.

Rethink past events​

Psychologist Morty Lefkoye suggests taking a pen and paper and analyzing a negative event that worries you from past experience:

1. Determine the thought pattern that brings you back to this event.
2. Give a name to this template.
3. Identify the trigger that triggers these memories.
4. Describe any possible positive interpretations of this event.
5. Realize that the original pattern is interpretation, not reality.
6. Deliberately discard misinterpretation.
7. Consciously accept the new interpretation as true.

Both interpretations (positive and negative) are valid, but your reality will be determined by the one you choose to accept. This is a matter of your choice.

Treat everything as an opportunity for growth​

This position is difficult to accept right away, but once you do, miracles begin. Surprisingly, after that you can turn any event in your favor.

What used to cause resentment is now an opportunity to strengthen your psyche. What used to cause difficulties in communicating with people now is the desire for self-development, the search for new strategies of behavior and their implementation.

This principle is a good medicine for fear, frustration, anxiety, and stress.

Everything that happens to us in this world gives us the opportunity to become even better. An event in itself does not mean anything. You yourself can make it positive or negative in relation to your life.

Think about how you can go through the experience of the following negative, at first glance, events in a beneficial way for yourself:

• You are sick.
• Your son is not listening.
• You were refused.
• Your car has broken down.
• Rain is coming.
• Nobody is buying your product.

Yes, you can regard all this as punishment for your past sins, get upset, fight it, close yourself off from the whole world. Or you can simply understand that every person in the world has faced these problems and solved them. How? What did it give him and how can you grow above yourself by adequately resolving these situations?

Renowned psychologist John Eliot writes, "Eat stress like an energy bar." Charge yourself with problems, use them as a motivator.

Remember that depending on your attitude, any event can take away your energy or, on the contrary, add strength to you.

Move towards your fears​

No fear should remain in the shadows, because this is a peculiar form of your weakness. Cultivate an inner hero who will challenge fears and phobias.

Fear is one of the most instinctive human emotions. It can take many forms, such as anxiety (fear of future circumstances), doubt (fear of wrong choices), and hatred (aggressive reaction to a dangerous object). Chances are, you've been experiencing it your entire life, so why not challenge it?

The problem is not fear, but your reaction to it. Yes, you have complete freedom as to which reaction you choose.

Fear doesn't really matter. It's just some electrical impulses in your brain combined with a small amount of chemicals passing through your blood. He can influence you all your life, or he can leave if you fight him back.

Challenge your fears every day: start with the smallest ones, gradually work your way up to the main ones.

Be wrong​

The need and irresistible desire to be right kills many aspects of life, from creativity to business.

Imagine that you are a person who makes many mistakes and does not feel negative emotions at all about this, but simply draws the correct conclusions from them and gets better every time. Do you want to be like that? Of course you do.

Perhaps there is not a single company or work of art in the world that was created immediately without a single mistake. Writers rewrite their novels dozens of times, leaders make mistakes, burn out, but immediately draw conclusions and change their strategy.

Making mistakes with a cold head is one of the best skills to develop if you want to get better.

We hope that by reading this article, you are one step closer to changing your life. We wish you good luck!

The article was written based on the materials of the article https://liveanddare.com/how-to-be-happy-22-life-changing-secrets