Lord777
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It is very difficult for a person with unstable self-esteem to live in the world. After all, he is like: something turns out in life, plans and projects come true - and self-esteem - once! - I jumped up on a swing!
It is very difficult for a person with unstable self-esteem to live in the world. After all, he is like: something turns out in life, plans and projects come true - and self-esteem - rrraz! - I jumped up on a swing! We love ourselves, we love our husband, we love the whole world! Life is Beautiful and amazing! And then something went wrong - self-esteem - sharply down! Woe is me, woe! I am a loser! I will never succeed! I am a useless member of society! The whole world is against me! I hate everyone!
Someone regretted, sympathized - self-esteem is up again! Another scolded, criticized - down again! And it would be fine, it only influenced the mood swings, because no - we find the consequences of unstable self-esteem in all areas of our life.
During the period of recovery, we tend to indulge in euphoria, dream, make plans, start new, sometimes risky, projects. At this time, we really believe in ourselves, we love the whole world, we hope for the best. But somewhere there is a failure, a breakdown, a deviation from the plan - we fall into an abyss of despair, depression and a sense of guilt fall on us. We hate ourselves, and often the whole world.
Our unstable self-esteem hinders us in all, without exception, areas of our life:
1.In the profession and in general in choosing a way to make money (perhaps, if we were a little more confident in ourselves, we would have worked in a completely different place and in a different position and with a different salary; or would we have our own business?). Failure sometimes makes us abandon some of our goals ahead of time, which, perhaps, if we were able to overcome a period of temporary difficulties, would really lead us to success and to improve our whole life.
2. In relationships with close and not very close people. A person with stable self-esteem is less prone to outbursts of emotions, respects others and perceives them more objectively - notices their advantages and disadvantages, and therefore builds their relationships with them more adequately, speaks and acts rationally. In addition, such a person does not need to compare himself with anyone in order to "pour balm on his wounds" at least a little, proving to himself that he is better than someone else. Therefore, relationships with people of a person with stable self-esteem are distinguished by benevolence, sincerity, openness and bring much more positive and satisfying.
Probably, it is no longer a secret for anyone in our time that our self-esteem is laid in childhood. True, our parents did not want to "ruin our lives" at all, all this happened unintentionally. But to yourself, as parents, you must take note of it - which in no case should you do, so as not
undermine the sustained positive self-esteem of our children:
1. Do not confuse the child's personality and behavior. It is absolutely necessary to accept and love him completely. You can only express your disapproval by his actions (just do not overdo it with this - disapproval of actions). In no case: “Today the kindergarten teacher complained about you again! I do not like such a bad boy, I am ashamed of you! "That's right:“ The teacher said, did you have problems in the kindergarten today? Tell me what happened, let's think together, could you have done otherwise? "In no case:“ You study so badly! I don't need such a son! "That's right:“ How I love you! We will definitely cope with school problems together! "
2. Never compare your child with anyone, either mentally or aloud!
3. Do not assess the child, neither good nor bad, just express your opinion about his actions: “I was so glad today when I saw your drawing at the exhibition”, “I was very upset yesterday at a meeting at school when I found out that you don't listen in class. "
4. Do not try to manipulate the child, trying to make him feel guilty! “I had a headache when I found out what you did today,” “Grandma was admitted to the hospital because of your ugly behavior.”
But what should we do ourselves, how to make our self-esteem more stable?
First, you need to learn to love and accept yourself. We don't have to prove to anyone how good we are. We are good, even beautiful, by the very fact of being born! God wanted us to be born, which means that there is some higher meaning in this.
Each of us is an individuality, personality, each of us is unique! This is quite enough to love yourself, accept in all its manifestations and even be proud of yourself. Every person is wonderful! Unique! Unique! Each has individual, inherent only to him inclinations, abilities, unique experience and outlook on the world. And this is just great, this is great! Love and accept yourself, love and accept others! You can't even imagine how your life will change for the better!
If it is difficult for you to immediately fall in love with yourself unconditionally, if something that is loved only "for special achievements" has been hammered into you very hard, then convince yourself that you already have a lot of these achievements. In general, in order to more sharply feel your satisfaction with life, try to do things more often in which you feel successful. It's great when work, relationships with loved ones, household chores, your hobby bring you a feeling of satisfaction!
Another very important point is to change your attitude towards failure. Everyone is wrong. But someone then gives up and throws up the job, and someone draws valuable lessons from mistakes. Failures make some people stronger, while others are driven into a corner by the fear of being wrong and passive.
There is no need to be afraid of failures, they enrich our experience. Any failure is a new step, a new stage of development. Failure is an opportunity to stop, look around, think, analyze. Perhaps you will find a better solution, a more convenient way, reevaluate what has already been done. Maybe you need to acquire some more theoretical knowledge on the subject, or maybe you just need to practice more!
And sometimes you just need to rest, give yourself a break! Don't let setbacks unsettle you for long. Remember: only the one who does nothing is not mistaken!
Author: Natalia Bolshakova
It is very difficult for a person with unstable self-esteem to live in the world. After all, he is like: something turns out in life, plans and projects come true - and self-esteem - rrraz! - I jumped up on a swing! We love ourselves, we love our husband, we love the whole world! Life is Beautiful and amazing! And then something went wrong - self-esteem - sharply down! Woe is me, woe! I am a loser! I will never succeed! I am a useless member of society! The whole world is against me! I hate everyone!
Someone regretted, sympathized - self-esteem is up again! Another scolded, criticized - down again! And it would be fine, it only influenced the mood swings, because no - we find the consequences of unstable self-esteem in all areas of our life.
During the period of recovery, we tend to indulge in euphoria, dream, make plans, start new, sometimes risky, projects. At this time, we really believe in ourselves, we love the whole world, we hope for the best. But somewhere there is a failure, a breakdown, a deviation from the plan - we fall into an abyss of despair, depression and a sense of guilt fall on us. We hate ourselves, and often the whole world.
Our unstable self-esteem hinders us in all, without exception, areas of our life:
1.In the profession and in general in choosing a way to make money (perhaps, if we were a little more confident in ourselves, we would have worked in a completely different place and in a different position and with a different salary; or would we have our own business?). Failure sometimes makes us abandon some of our goals ahead of time, which, perhaps, if we were able to overcome a period of temporary difficulties, would really lead us to success and to improve our whole life.
2. In relationships with close and not very close people. A person with stable self-esteem is less prone to outbursts of emotions, respects others and perceives them more objectively - notices their advantages and disadvantages, and therefore builds their relationships with them more adequately, speaks and acts rationally. In addition, such a person does not need to compare himself with anyone in order to "pour balm on his wounds" at least a little, proving to himself that he is better than someone else. Therefore, relationships with people of a person with stable self-esteem are distinguished by benevolence, sincerity, openness and bring much more positive and satisfying.
Probably, it is no longer a secret for anyone in our time that our self-esteem is laid in childhood. True, our parents did not want to "ruin our lives" at all, all this happened unintentionally. But to yourself, as parents, you must take note of it - which in no case should you do, so as not
undermine the sustained positive self-esteem of our children:
1. Do not confuse the child's personality and behavior. It is absolutely necessary to accept and love him completely. You can only express your disapproval by his actions (just do not overdo it with this - disapproval of actions). In no case: “Today the kindergarten teacher complained about you again! I do not like such a bad boy, I am ashamed of you! "That's right:“ The teacher said, did you have problems in the kindergarten today? Tell me what happened, let's think together, could you have done otherwise? "In no case:“ You study so badly! I don't need such a son! "That's right:“ How I love you! We will definitely cope with school problems together! "
2. Never compare your child with anyone, either mentally or aloud!
3. Do not assess the child, neither good nor bad, just express your opinion about his actions: “I was so glad today when I saw your drawing at the exhibition”, “I was very upset yesterday at a meeting at school when I found out that you don't listen in class. "
4. Do not try to manipulate the child, trying to make him feel guilty! “I had a headache when I found out what you did today,” “Grandma was admitted to the hospital because of your ugly behavior.”
But what should we do ourselves, how to make our self-esteem more stable?
First, you need to learn to love and accept yourself. We don't have to prove to anyone how good we are. We are good, even beautiful, by the very fact of being born! God wanted us to be born, which means that there is some higher meaning in this.
Each of us is an individuality, personality, each of us is unique! This is quite enough to love yourself, accept in all its manifestations and even be proud of yourself. Every person is wonderful! Unique! Unique! Each has individual, inherent only to him inclinations, abilities, unique experience and outlook on the world. And this is just great, this is great! Love and accept yourself, love and accept others! You can't even imagine how your life will change for the better!
If it is difficult for you to immediately fall in love with yourself unconditionally, if something that is loved only "for special achievements" has been hammered into you very hard, then convince yourself that you already have a lot of these achievements. In general, in order to more sharply feel your satisfaction with life, try to do things more often in which you feel successful. It's great when work, relationships with loved ones, household chores, your hobby bring you a feeling of satisfaction!
Another very important point is to change your attitude towards failure. Everyone is wrong. But someone then gives up and throws up the job, and someone draws valuable lessons from mistakes. Failures make some people stronger, while others are driven into a corner by the fear of being wrong and passive.
There is no need to be afraid of failures, they enrich our experience. Any failure is a new step, a new stage of development. Failure is an opportunity to stop, look around, think, analyze. Perhaps you will find a better solution, a more convenient way, reevaluate what has already been done. Maybe you need to acquire some more theoretical knowledge on the subject, or maybe you just need to practice more!
And sometimes you just need to rest, give yourself a break! Don't let setbacks unsettle you for long. Remember: only the one who does nothing is not mistaken!
Author: Natalia Bolshakova
