There are several levels of listening:
Level I. Superficial (everyday) listening.
Being at this level of listening, a person interprets the words of the interlocutor based on their own experience. They listen exclusively to their feelings, practically not noticing the feelings of the interlocutor. At Level I, our focus is on ourselves. Listening to the interlocutor, we focus on what his story means to us, but not to the partner. At the same time, we concentrate on our own “I”: on feelings, sensations, stereotypes, experience. It turns out that communication resembles a kind of sponge that absorbs all the information and leaves it in itself. Our subjective assessment or emotions related to ourselves is returned to the interlocutor. And by the way, more often than not this is quite enough.
Imagine that you flew abroad for the first time in your life and go for a ticket to a travel agency. You are worried about your own safety, comfort, you are seized with anxiety about where and how the transfer will meet you, how not to get lost in a foreign country and how catastrophic is the lack of knowledge of the English language, then you check your documents for the flight several times. You need specific answers, accurate data, reliable information. Ultimately, you need information.
Level I listening is just about that. And when we find ourselves in the role of the client, we are most often in the position of superficial listening. Indeed, in a specific period of time, we answer questions that are related to our life. At the same time, the seller who is next to you during this period listens to you from the second level.
Level II. Focused listening
At the second level of listening, the opposite is true. The person is focused solely on the storyteller. He asks many clarifying questions. The narrator in this case is the center of the universe. There is only the narrator and his feelings.
At this level, the skill of the seller begins to manifest itself, because he must fully focus on his client. Sometimes, when a person is really immersed in his interlocutor, he adopts his posture, tempo and tone of voice. Of course, most often this is done deliberately in order to establish a certain level of trust and show their involvement in the process.
The seller not only listens to what his client says, but also how he says it, catching the expression on his face, what emotions he has about certain associations. Here it is important for the seller to hear what inspires the client, what is valuable to him, what delights him, leaves him indifferent or upsets him.
If the first level of listening gives the impression of a sponge, then the second level is a mirror. Having heard the interlocutor, we return to him the same idea and assessment, turning off our own "autobiography".
An interesting observation is that when a person listens to himself, afterwards he cannot believe that he has just said it. Therefore, it is so important to listen to yourself twice, and the main thing for the seller is to catch the person's reaction to the answer. And to understand in which direction to conduct the conversation / negotiations further.
Level III. Global listening.
At the third level, the master listens "at all 360 degrees", while information flows in parallel from everywhere, all the senses are involved.
It is as if you are in the center of a sphere in which everything is alive and everything is changing. Your focus extends to everything in one moment, to everything that you see, hear, feel, feel. You are in interaction with everything and at the same time inactive. There are microwaves in your sphere that connect you with the world around you and provide all the information you need.
In this case, the concept of "intuition" and its widespread use are of great importance. With the help of intuition, the master of communication gets the correct answers not only from observation, but also with the help of the “sixth sense”. He receives information, then notices how his response affects the client. How was your comment received?
What did you notice while doing this? Is the client tuned in or closed? Is he calm or is he in control of the situation? What characteristics of the product can be accentuated for the customer to purchase it?
Possession of such a level of listening seems inaccessible to most people, but such an acquired quality can be found in presenters, actors, people in show business, who are sensitive to the audience and can adapt to it. And of course, it takes a lot of practice to acquire deep listening. But with the mastery of the art of listening, a lot can be corrected right "in the course of the play" and track the results of their impact.
Listening Levels Exercise
The purpose of this exercise is to practice different levels of listening and learn how to apply them depending on the situation. If you are going to do this exercise, ask a friend or colleague to take the time to act out situations with you.
Hearing at the first level.
Ask a friend to talk about a recent trip, what went well and what was not so good. As your colleague tells his story, listen to your feelings and interpret their words based on your own experience. Give your opinion to the narrator as often as possible. What would have been done differently in his place? What happens within you when you are told a story? What situation in your life does it remind you of? What advice would you give this person? How could you improve this storytelling?
After about fifteen minutes, ask a colleague to tell you how he felt and how it feels to be listened to at the first level.
Hearing at the second level.
Work with the same story for another fifteen minutes. Be curious. Ask questions, clarify more. Pay attention to your colleague's values and how they are expressed in their story. Be completely focused on the storyteller.
Then tell each other how it was for you to listen and be heard on the second level. How was this different from the first level?
Hearing at the third level.
Your task is to go once or twice to somewhere where you can practice listening at the third level, for example, to the library, in the hotel lobby, to the emergency room of a hospital or clinic, or an airport bar. Try to just focus your Level Three Awareness on how the people around you are feeling - angry,
upset, fun, bored, anxious, or at ease? What else do you notice in the surrounding atmosphere? Observe where the energy is concentrated in the room and how it is redistributed when someone enters or exits.
Write down your impressions. Now close your eyes and try listening on the third level with your eyes closed. What has changed for you? What do you notice now that you did not notice with your eyes open?
Option: ask your friend to enter this room, literally radiating anger and irritation. Notice how the people on the third level will react to this. Or ask two friends to walk into the room and start a rough fight. Note, how the energy changes at the third level.
At all levels of listening, you can use the following methods:
1. Paraphrasing (echo technique). The essence of this method is that the interlocutor is returned his statement (one or several phrases), formulated in his own words. Paraphrasing can begin with the words: "as I understand you ..."; did I understand you correctly that ... ";" In your opinion ... ". The main purpose of the echo technique is to clarify the information received.
2. Summary. This technique involves reproducing the partner's words in an abbreviated form, summing up the communication. For example: "Your main objections, as I understand it, are ..."
3. Development of the idea. This technique differs from the first and second in that an attempt is made to deduce a logical consequence from what was heard, it allows you to clarify the meaning of what was said and quickly move forward in the communication process. In addition, there are two types of listening - non-reflective and reflective. Non-reflective listening is the ability to be attentively silent without interfering with the interlocutor's speech with your remarks. Listening of this type is especially useful when the interlocutor expresses such deep feelings as anger or grief, seeks to express his point of view, wants to discuss painful issues. Answers during such a hearing should be kept to a minimum, such as “Yes!”, “Well, well!”, “Continue”, etc.
In business, as in other communication, a combination of non-reflective and reflective listening is important. Reflexive listening is the process of deciphering the meaning of messages. Reflexive responses help to find out the real meaning of the message, among which there are:
Clarification - is an appeal to the speaker for clarifications using key phrases such as “I don't understand”, “What do you mean”, “Please clarify”, etc. Reflection of feelings - the emphasis is on reflecting to the listener the emotional state of the speaker with the help of phrases - "Probably, you feel ...", "Perhaps you are somewhat upset ...", etc.
P.S. And, of course, remember about the metamodel.
