Feelings and emotions that cannot be ignored and kept within

[Lord777]

It is generally accepted in society that feelings must certainly be under the control of the mind. From childhood, everyone was mistakenly taught not to be angry, not to shout, not to condemn. However, this is fundamentally wrong. Any feelings arise as a reaction to imperfection of one's own or of the world, based on a system of priorities and worldview.

Trying to control their feelings, a person simply ignores them, doing fundamentally wrong. What are these feelings? And how you need to take them under your control, without driving them into the subconscious.

1. Hatred.
This is the most powerful emotion, equal in power to love, only with a negative charge. It comes from a feeling of powerlessness in front of the object of hatred and has a destructive effect on the person who experiences this feeling. No wonder they say that there is only one step from love to hate. Or vice versa. Fighting hatred is useless; other negative feelings are mixed in with it, for example, the desire for revenge, which intensifies destruction. You just need to try to forgive the person, and perhaps even love! Then weakness turns into strength.

2. Disappointment
The stupor that begins when all illusions collapse. This feeling protects people from intoxication. Pink glasses break glass inward. Such experience is necessary in order to learn to live in the real world and take it soberly.

3. Fear.
It is paradoxical, but almost everyone from childhood was often frightened with something. All sorts of babies and horror stories ... And then suddenly the adults began to tell the children that one should not be a coward and be afraid. This creates an internal conflict. You need to study your fear, not ignore it. If it is imposed from the outside, you need to look it directly in the eyes. And get over it. And if it comes from within, then find the reason there.

4. Feelings of guilt.
Responsibility imposed from childhood, directly or indirectly, causes a person to feel guilty. It is extremely dangerous to ignore it. This "gap in the armor" becomes a rope for which manipulators begin to pull. It is worth figuring out why it happens and whether it is justified.

Sometimes his own ego becomes its basis, that is, blaming himself for everything, a person, as it were, recognizes himself as the "navel of the earth." You need to carefully, understand yourself and take a certain error calmly as a temporary phenomenon.

5. Indifference.
This feeling is 0. Neutrality. Reboot moment. It can be perceived this way without falling into apathy. It comes from fatigue, monotony, and mental trauma. First comes emotional coldness, and then indifference and indifference. It is also a necessary feeling, like the rest, but you cannot "get stuck" in it.

6. Curiosity.
As you know, it is not a vice. The person remains childishly spontaneous, being curious. Do not ignore it, deprive yourself of the pleasure of going towards something interesting, and even interest in itself is a positive, motivating emotion.

7. Healthy selfishness.
Emphasis on the word "healthy". Take care of yourself in such a way that you can take care of someone else.

 

[Tomcat]

Manage your emotions, or how to keep face in every sense​

Given: you + another person = dispute.

Of course, you think you are right - otherwise you would not have participated in this discussion. However, your opponent considers himself to be no less right and tries in every possible way to show this to you. Both of you are trying to drag your opponent into your camp and achieve the coveted "Yes, I admit: you are right!" The argument becomes more and more emotional, threatening to escalate into a serious conflict.
Increased tone, insults, rage, anger are all uncontrollable emotions and their consequences that you will later regret.
How can you "save face" when yelling at you and not yelling back?
How, being in the grip of emotions, how not to lose your head?
This is a hot topic, so I decided to give you some tried and tested NLP techniques to help you get your emotions under control.

1. Learn to dissociate.This means that during a conflict you should see yourself from the outside, while asking yourself questions such as: “What if I now reply to him with“ a couple of words ”, how will the situation develop further?”, “What is my goal in this communication? "If you find it difficult to see yourself from the outside, you can practice on any other day: shoot yourself on video and then see how you look from the outside. For example, take pictures of how you look when you are angry, annoyed , or happy with your phone. The next time you need to disassociate, imagine as if you are watching a video of an ongoing conflict, where there are two participants - you and another person. Dissociation decreases kinesthetic and turns on logic. Just now, you can suggest remembering the goals of communication and predicting the consequences of this conflict.

2. Visual design. Imagine a person with whom you are in conflict, in a crooked tattered top hat or pink hat, or in a clown costume with a red nose, or in a ballet tutu - in any funny accessory that your fantasy allows you to see on the interlocutor ... The more wacky this item is, the better it will work. You can also play funny music in your head against the background of a conflict: your boss yells at you, and you hear a circus march. Your kinesthetics will change: the automatic reaction turns off when you want to respond in kind in response to a negative.

3. 10 inhalations and exhalations. When someone says something unpleasant to you and you want to respond rudely in return, take your time. Instead, take 10 deep, slow breaths. Feel how the air enters the lungs, how the head becomes clear and clear. As the Japanese say: "First breathe out, then think, and only then speak." This technique also aims to switch kinesthetics.

4. Change the familiar pattern . Observe yourself using the dissociation technique: if during a quarrel you wave your hands or actively gesticulate with one hand, explaining your position, then the next time during a conflict you need to interrupt this pattern - put your hand in your pocket or completely remove your hands behind your back. Thus, you will interrupt your usual pattern, the automatism will be interrupted and the tone of the conversation will change and, as a result, the automatic reaction to respond rudely to rudeness will also be interrupted.

Only 4 techniques for stabilizing emotions - and you will feel easy and without remorse for unrestrained behavior. You can use all the techniques at once, or each separately. By the way, your opponent in the conflict will immediately feel that a change has occurred in your mind - after all, you do not go for provocations and remain in emotional peace.