Jollier
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Take your bitcoins and keep them in the shadows, because in 2025 the cops and regulators will take them like the last piece of pizza! Wasabi Wallet and Samourai Wallet, two of the main players in the world of anonymity, have been crushed: their CoinJoin services have been shut down, and their developers are being dragged through the courts. This is not a kindergarten - here we play like adults, so that no analyst can figure out your trace!
Wasabi Wallet and Samourai Wallet were the kings of anonymity until regulators decided privacy was too cool for this world. Here's what happened:
Wasabi Wallet: These guys at ZkSNACKs have been making a wallet for a long time that was like a privacy tank. Their thing is CoinJoin, a technology that mixes your bitcoins with other people's so no one can track whose they are. But on June 1, 2024, ZkSNACKs announced that they were turning off CoinJoin coordination because the cops and regulators like FinCEN were breathing down their necks. They just said, "We tried, but we've had enough!" Plus, a week before that, they banned all US users to avoid even more trouble. Now Wasabi is just a wallet with Tor and a choice of coins, but without CoinJoin, it's like a hot dog without a sausage. The developers boast that it is still private, but without mixing, complete anonymity is a dead end.
Samourai Wallet: These guys also made a cool wallet with CoinJoin (Whirlpool), which was like a ninja for your bitcoins. But in April 2024, the feds in the US attacked the founders - Keonn Rodriguez and William Hill. They were accused of laundering 100 million bucks for cybercriminals and sanctioned types (CoinDesk). Rodriguez was released on bail for a million, and Hill is sitting in Portugal awaiting extradition. They face up to 25 years in prison! Samourai closed their servers, and their CoinJoin died too. It was a blow below the belt for everyone who wanted to keep their money in the shadows.
Why is that? FinCEN and other regulators have declared mixers and CoinJoin services to be almost "money laundering centers." They are putting pressure on everything that smells of anonymity, and even decentralized projects like Tornado Cash have come under fire - their developer Alexey Pertsev is awaiting trial for laundering 1.2 billion (CoinTelegraph). In short, the cops have decided that your privacy is their personal grievance, and now any service that prevents them from tracking you is under fire.
Every transaction in Bitcoin is like a photo you posted in 2007: it's there forever, and anyone can dig it up. Even if you're a small player and are making a few grand, every transaction you make is recorded in the blockchain. And when you start moving millions, the cops will be able to track everything - from your first crooked 50 bucks to the fat cash you're spinning now. Seriously, the blockchain is like your worst enemy, storing all your blunders and yelling: "Look what he did!"
Companies that dig into the blockchain for banks and the feds don't just stare at your current affairs - they dig into your history, like your girlfriend in old chats. They will connect your first noob transfer to your cool scheme with millimeter accuracy. And here's the catch: Bitcoin is not anonymous, it's pseudonymous! Every coin carries a history with it, like a criminal record that can't be washed clean. This brings us to the meat of the matter: fungibility.
Fungibility is when any hundred bucks is just a hundred, and who cares where it was before you. No one cares that you bought a pizza or something worse with that money. And bitcoin? Each coin is like a snowflake, unique, with a history that screams: "Follow me." Bitcoiners pretend that everything is ok, but without the right actions, your "dirty" bitcoins, which you, say, got from the dark, are marked money. Exchanges can ban them, the cops can figure them out, and your coins will become like a suitcase of paint that bursts and stains everything around.
In 2025, mixers are under attack: Wasabi and Samourai are closed, and regulators like FinCEN have declared war on everything that smells of anonymity. Here's how to keep your bitcoins in the shadows so that no fed can dig in.
Monero (XMR) is not some kind of mixer, but a cryptocurrency where anonymity is built in from the factory. No transparent blockchains: the sender, recipient and amount are encrypted so that even I can't find it. It's like throwing your money into a black hole - no one will get it out of there. I'll write about it next time
Convert BTC to XMR through a decentralized exchange, like Bisq or LocalMonero.
No KYC exchanges, like Binance - they write everything and drain!
Keep XMR in a wallet: Monero GUI / CLI for a computer or Cake Wallet for a mobile phone. If you need to return to BTC, convert through another DEX to a new clean address.
Complete anonymity, no need to mess with mixers. It's like armor from the cops.
Conversion fees, for noobs it can be a chore, liquidity is worse than BTC.
Advice: Split the amounts and convert through different platforms to avoid getting caught on patterns.
Wasabi and Samourai are down, but CoinJoin is alive and kicking! It's like a party where everyone throws their bitcoins into a pile and then grabs someone else's - and it's hard to keep track of who took what. New wallets and coordinators have picked up the baton, so keep your eyes peeled.
Sparrow Wallet:
Uses the Whirlpool protocol for CoinJoin. Minimum is 0.01 BTC, fees are ~0.2-0.5%.
Work through Tor, download from sparrowwallet.com.
Pros: You are your own boss, the code is open, there is no central server that the cops can clamp down on.
Cons: You need to dig into the settings, not for those who are afraid of buttons.
JoinMarket:
P2P platform where you find your own party for a mix. Check GitHub.
Be a "maker" (earn on commissions) or a "taker" (pay for mixing).
Pros: Complete decentralization, the cops won't get to you.
New coordinators:
After Wasabi, 10+ new coordinators popped up. Ginger (Wasabi fork) works, but they are buddies with OFAC, so don't yawn. Look for fresh options.
Advice: Test with small stuff, check so you don't get scammed.
Centralized mixers haven't died yet, but it's like playing the lottery with the cops. They can screw you, turn you in, or just run off with your money.
Send small amounts via Tor, don't withdraw to the exchange right away, split the transfers across different services.
Pros: Easy as pie, and fast.
Cons: The risk of getting screwed or turned in to the cops is high.
Advice: Combine with Monero or CoinJoin, and never trust one mixer. It's like trusting a chick who swears she's not sleeping with your buddy.
The Bitcoin community is as wide awake as I am after my fifth can of energy drink. Developers are testing new solutions:
Silent Payments: Each transfer is to a unique address, without communicating with the sender.
PayJoin: Masks amounts, making transactions look like regular payments. Already available in Sparrow.
Stealth Addresses: Hide the recipient's address. Not everywhere yet
Timing: Mixing your money and withdrawing it right away? It's like yelling, "Hey, cops, I'm here!" Analysts love patterns like this.
Matching amounts: Transferring exactly 10 BTC through a mixer and then 10 BTC to the exchange? Congratulations, you drew the arrow to your ass yourself.
Shitty OPSEC: Without Tor, a paid VPN, or new addresses, all mixers are garbage. Download Tor Browser, don't use free VPNs, they leak data. Create a new wallet for each scheme, like I change plates after dinner.
Forwarding packs for bosses: JetShip It's like your personal ninja drop.
Mix and match: Run your bitcoins through Monero, then Sparrow with Whirlpool, then a DEX like Bisq or Hodl Hodl. It's paranoid, but who knows.
Play with timing: Mix now, move the money in a few weeks. Timeout ruins analysis.
DEX only: No KYC exchanges like Coinbase.
Privacy is not a button that you press and relax. Every step is important, or everything will go to hell. In 2025, Monero is your best friend, Sparrow and JoinMarket are for those who want to stay in Bitcoin, and centralized mixers are for those who like to play roulette. Blockchain remembers everything, and you remember, don't show them on exchanges and don't tell X how many bitcoins you have. Test everything for small change, so as not to get into trouble. I don't give a shit who I am, the main thing is to do it wisely, or your money will be screwed!
Wasabi Wallet and Samourai Wallet were the kings of anonymity until regulators decided privacy was too cool for this world. Here's what happened:
Wasabi Wallet: These guys at ZkSNACKs have been making a wallet for a long time that was like a privacy tank. Their thing is CoinJoin, a technology that mixes your bitcoins with other people's so no one can track whose they are. But on June 1, 2024, ZkSNACKs announced that they were turning off CoinJoin coordination because the cops and regulators like FinCEN were breathing down their necks. They just said, "We tried, but we've had enough!" Plus, a week before that, they banned all US users to avoid even more trouble. Now Wasabi is just a wallet with Tor and a choice of coins, but without CoinJoin, it's like a hot dog without a sausage. The developers boast that it is still private, but without mixing, complete anonymity is a dead end.
Samourai Wallet: These guys also made a cool wallet with CoinJoin (Whirlpool), which was like a ninja for your bitcoins. But in April 2024, the feds in the US attacked the founders - Keonn Rodriguez and William Hill. They were accused of laundering 100 million bucks for cybercriminals and sanctioned types (CoinDesk). Rodriguez was released on bail for a million, and Hill is sitting in Portugal awaiting extradition. They face up to 25 years in prison! Samourai closed their servers, and their CoinJoin died too. It was a blow below the belt for everyone who wanted to keep their money in the shadows.
Why is that? FinCEN and other regulators have declared mixers and CoinJoin services to be almost "money laundering centers." They are putting pressure on everything that smells of anonymity, and even decentralized projects like Tornado Cash have come under fire - their developer Alexey Pertsev is awaiting trial for laundering 1.2 billion (CoinTelegraph). In short, the cops have decided that your privacy is their personal grievance, and now any service that prevents them from tracking you is under fire.
Every transaction in Bitcoin is like a photo you posted in 2007: it's there forever, and anyone can dig it up. Even if you're a small player and are making a few grand, every transaction you make is recorded in the blockchain. And when you start moving millions, the cops will be able to track everything - from your first crooked 50 bucks to the fat cash you're spinning now. Seriously, the blockchain is like your worst enemy, storing all your blunders and yelling: "Look what he did!"
Companies that dig into the blockchain for banks and the feds don't just stare at your current affairs - they dig into your history, like your girlfriend in old chats. They will connect your first noob transfer to your cool scheme with millimeter accuracy. And here's the catch: Bitcoin is not anonymous, it's pseudonymous! Every coin carries a history with it, like a criminal record that can't be washed clean. This brings us to the meat of the matter: fungibility.
Fungibility is when any hundred bucks is just a hundred, and who cares where it was before you. No one cares that you bought a pizza or something worse with that money. And bitcoin? Each coin is like a snowflake, unique, with a history that screams: "Follow me." Bitcoiners pretend that everything is ok, but without the right actions, your "dirty" bitcoins, which you, say, got from the dark, are marked money. Exchanges can ban them, the cops can figure them out, and your coins will become like a suitcase of paint that bursts and stains everything around.
In 2025, mixers are under attack: Wasabi and Samourai are closed, and regulators like FinCEN have declared war on everything that smells of anonymity. Here's how to keep your bitcoins in the shadows so that no fed can dig in.
Monero (XMR) is not some kind of mixer, but a cryptocurrency where anonymity is built in from the factory. No transparent blockchains: the sender, recipient and amount are encrypted so that even I can't find it. It's like throwing your money into a black hole - no one will get it out of there. I'll write about it next time
Convert BTC to XMR through a decentralized exchange, like Bisq or LocalMonero.
No KYC exchanges, like Binance - they write everything and drain!
Keep XMR in a wallet: Monero GUI / CLI for a computer or Cake Wallet for a mobile phone. If you need to return to BTC, convert through another DEX to a new clean address.
Complete anonymity, no need to mess with mixers. It's like armor from the cops.
Conversion fees, for noobs it can be a chore, liquidity is worse than BTC.
Advice: Split the amounts and convert through different platforms to avoid getting caught on patterns.
Wasabi and Samourai are down, but CoinJoin is alive and kicking! It's like a party where everyone throws their bitcoins into a pile and then grabs someone else's - and it's hard to keep track of who took what. New wallets and coordinators have picked up the baton, so keep your eyes peeled.
Sparrow Wallet:
Uses the Whirlpool protocol for CoinJoin. Minimum is 0.01 BTC, fees are ~0.2-0.5%.
Work through Tor, download from sparrowwallet.com.
Pros: You are your own boss, the code is open, there is no central server that the cops can clamp down on.
Cons: You need to dig into the settings, not for those who are afraid of buttons.
JoinMarket:
P2P platform where you find your own party for a mix. Check GitHub.
Be a "maker" (earn on commissions) or a "taker" (pay for mixing).
Pros: Complete decentralization, the cops won't get to you.
New coordinators:
After Wasabi, 10+ new coordinators popped up. Ginger (Wasabi fork) works, but they are buddies with OFAC, so don't yawn. Look for fresh options.
Advice: Test with small stuff, check so you don't get scammed.
Centralized mixers haven't died yet, but it's like playing the lottery with the cops. They can screw you, turn you in, or just run off with your money.
Send small amounts via Tor, don't withdraw to the exchange right away, split the transfers across different services.
Pros: Easy as pie, and fast.
Cons: The risk of getting screwed or turned in to the cops is high.
Advice: Combine with Monero or CoinJoin, and never trust one mixer. It's like trusting a chick who swears she's not sleeping with your buddy.
The Bitcoin community is as wide awake as I am after my fifth can of energy drink. Developers are testing new solutions:
Silent Payments: Each transfer is to a unique address, without communicating with the sender.
PayJoin: Masks amounts, making transactions look like regular payments. Already available in Sparrow.
Stealth Addresses: Hide the recipient's address. Not everywhere yet
Timing: Mixing your money and withdrawing it right away? It's like yelling, "Hey, cops, I'm here!" Analysts love patterns like this.
Matching amounts: Transferring exactly 10 BTC through a mixer and then 10 BTC to the exchange? Congratulations, you drew the arrow to your ass yourself.
Shitty OPSEC: Without Tor, a paid VPN, or new addresses, all mixers are garbage. Download Tor Browser, don't use free VPNs, they leak data. Create a new wallet for each scheme, like I change plates after dinner.
Forwarding packs for bosses: JetShip It's like your personal ninja drop.
Mix and match: Run your bitcoins through Monero, then Sparrow with Whirlpool, then a DEX like Bisq or Hodl Hodl. It's paranoid, but who knows.
Play with timing: Mix now, move the money in a few weeks. Timeout ruins analysis.
DEX only: No KYC exchanges like Coinbase.
Privacy is not a button that you press and relax. Every step is important, or everything will go to hell. In 2025, Monero is your best friend, Sparrow and JoinMarket are for those who want to stay in Bitcoin, and centralized mixers are for those who like to play roulette. Blockchain remembers everything, and you remember, don't show them on exchanges and don't tell X how many bitcoins you have. Test everything for small change, so as not to get into trouble. I don't give a shit who I am, the main thing is to do it wisely, or your money will be screwed!
