Belief in your uniqueness - just a pleasant self-deception?

[Lord777]

Have you ever wondered why men wore wigs in the 17th and 18th centuries? Why have tattoos become so popular? Why did everyone buy spinners a few years ago? We like to think that we are unique, and our thoughts, feelings and desires are original. But is it really so?

Experienced
In 1932, Arthur Jenness conducted one of the first experiments designed to investigate social conformity - a change in a person's behavior or opinion under the influence of real or imagined pressure from other people. He put 811 beans in the container. Participants in the experiment anonymously wrote how many beans they thought were in the container. Then the subjects were divided into groups, and almost everyone changed their initial assumption.

Several years later, the Turkish psychologist Muzafer Sheriff conducted another experiment. The subjects were led one at a time into a dark room. Each one looked at a luminous point, which, as it seemed to them, was moving, but in fact remained in place. Subjects were asked how far they thought the point had gone.

After the participants were united in groups of three, and the majority changed their answer, agreeing with the opinion of the group. When the researchers later asked them this question again, most of the subjects gave the group answer, not their own. Later, in the 1950s, Solomon Ash found that 75% of people changed their minds about the estimated line length based on the answers given by the group.

We are pleased to be deceived that our experiences and ideas are unique, when in fact we are all just copying each other.
Researcher Paul Cassin, who discovered the phenomenon of false confessions, put test subjects at computers. He said that the car would break down if you press the ALT key. In fact, the breakdown was programmed anyway. As a result, only one person pressed the key, and 25% of the participants admitted their "deed". When the experimenter began to blame everyone for pressing a key, the confession rate jumped to 80%.

The Brain Games TV show showed a similar effect. Subject was in a waiting room full of people. She was surprised to find that, having heard the dial tone, everyone got up, and she also began to get up. Moreover, she continued to do this, even when she was alone in the reception!

Illusion of independence
So are we as independent and original as we used to think? Where is the line between our opinion and that of the group?
Take, for example, another experiment conducted in 1973 by Ken and Mary Gergen. Students, boys and girls, were divided into two groups and led into two rooms: dark and lighted. The subjects who found themselves in the illuminated room talked a lot, hardly moved and did not approach each other.

There were fewer conversations in the second room, but people walked a lot and many tried to touch each other, and some even started hugging and kissing. In other words, they were doing what they would hardly have dared to do under normal conditions. The darkness changed them, and the light would make them respect someone else's personal space again.
The truth is that people around us, our social environment, change us. It is they who have the maximum influence on us. The thoughts and feelings of others become ours, whether we are aware of this or not.

How science explains it
The prefrontal cortex is the area that processes our belief, "I think this powdered wig / this tattoo suits me a lot." But he also processes the judgment: "My friends think that this wig / this tattoo suits me very much." Therefore, what we think and do is closely related to what others think and do.

So where do we end and where do others begin? Nobody knows. We are so pleased to be deceived by convincing ourselves that our experiences and ideas are unique, when in fact we are all just copying each other.

 

[Brother]

Any belief is subjective. This means that there are no right or wrong beliefs. Each person has its own truth. Every belief of a person is true for him.

It is important to understand that there are beliefs that are both inspiring and limiting. Inspirational beliefs make you happier and help you realize your dreams. Limiting beliefs make you unhappy and distant from your dreams.

How are beliefs formed?​

Persuasion is essentially a simple thought that you are 100% sure of the correctness. Any belief starts with a thought! This thought can come from anywhere. It can be inspired by another person, a situation, or simply come from nowhere.

Then this thought is repeatedly confirmed, and it is accepted. Single thoughts don't affect us!

Methods of Reinforcing Thought In order for a thought to be strengthened in our consciousness, and then passed into the subconscious, it is necessary to reinforce and support this thought with other thoughts. The more support a thought has from other thoughts, the more powerful it will become!

Here are some ways to support a thought.

1) Situations from personal experience (the most powerful way to confirm a belief)

2) Personal feelings, intuition, logic

3) The experience of a loved one, friend

4) The opinions of people whom you respect and trust

5) Opinions of friends and people you know

6) Examples of famous people

7) Examples of other people

Stages of Belief Formation​

Stage 1: Acceptance​

At the stage of acceptance, thought passes from consciousness to subconsciousness. Once in the subconscious, it begins to integrate into the already existing system of beliefs and beliefs of a person. As a result, the entire system of beliefs and beliefs undergoes minor changes. Imagine a glass of clean water. And a drop of red paint was interspersed into this water. This paint dissolves in water and all the water changes color slightly (almost imperceptibly). The same thing happens with a new belief.

When a belief is already built into the belief system and belief system, a person begins to think, feel and act in accordance with this new belief. According to the Law of Attraction, a person begins to attract situations into his life that are consistent with this new belief.

Let me give you an example of one man I recently worked with. He was convinced that in order to be happy, you need to earn a lot of money.

Let's take a look at how this belief was formed and how it developed into an unshakable conviction.

He himself told me that at home there was often a sentence "go sonny to school, study well, you will earn a lot, you will be able to provide for yourself and your family and you will be happy." The parents spoke differently, but the essence was the same.

At school, he looks at children like him, the poor. And I saw that they were not as happy as those rich, who had the best toys, their parents brought them to school in super cars. These children were more confident, more cheerful.

And he concluded: in order to be happy, you need to have a lot of money. The idea was accepted.

Then comes the stage of confidence

Stage 2: Confidence​

The stage of confidence is characterized by a rather powerful rooting of thoughts in the subconscious. The thought was repeated so often that you no longer have the slightest doubt about its truth. At the stage of confidence, a person no longer even notices and does not realize this thought. Because she already sits in him very deeply. In order to identify beliefs that are at the stage of confidence, a person must have a very high level of awareness.

The thoughts you have confidence in shape your life.

At the level of belief, you can already treat black as white and white as black.

You can interpret a positive situation as negative, so that this situation only confirms your belief.

Following our example, a person is sure that in order to be happy, you need to have a lot of money.

The corollary of this belief is that if I have little money, I am unhappy. So people for the sake of happiness chase after money all their lives, and there are always few of them, because "appetite comes with eating," and happiness never comes.

With this conviction, you will not even think about the fact that you can just be happy regardless of the amount of money. In order for you to start thinking about another option, you need some kind of external influence that will knock you out of your usual rut and make you think about the situation. Often books knock us out of this rut and force us to look at the situation from a different angle. But books will only show us that there is another way, and you yourself will have to root the idea.

Conclusion: at the level of confidence, you do not give in to doubt and do not even think about your beliefs. You need some kind of external influence to return you to the idea of a certain belief.

Stage 3: Unwavering conviction​

Unshakable conviction occurs when a conviction at the level of confidence is constantly confirmed for a long time. And given the fact that, at the level of confidence, we can interpret white as black and black as white, we simply close our eyes to facts that refute the belief, and, conversely, notice the slightest confirmation of the belief, which leads to the fact that the belief will inevitably move to the level of unshakable conviction!

Such beliefs are extremely persistent. The person will defend these beliefs as their own life. And when someone in a conversation with a person questions this belief, then this person will pounce on him, like a lion, ready to tear to pieces.

Returning to our example, a person with the conviction “to be happy, you need to have a lot of money” forever dooms himself to an unhappy life. Since there will never be much money, happiness will never come either! As soon as he is told that you can be happy without money, he will immediately express a dozen convictions in response why this is impossible. Or he will say something similar to "yes, they are all happy in the madhouse."

Only those people who take 100% responsibility for their lives and are very conscious are able to change their unshakable beliefs on their own. Other people need a powerful push from the outside!

The stronger the emotions, the faster the process of rooting beliefs takes place.​

For emotional and highly energetic people, everything happens many times faster than for unemotional and non-energetic people. Emotional people change their lives much faster, but these changes are happening both for the better and for the worse.

I want to warn the emotional and energetic to be extra careful with negative thoughts.

Stages of destruction of belief​

1) Awareness

First, you need to realize that the situation in a particular area is developing ONLY thanks to you and your convictions. Second, when you understand that beliefs are the root of everything, you are able to identify those beliefs.

2) Revealing

In order to destroy a belief, you must first find it. It sits so deeply that it sometimes takes days or even weeks to bring out this limiting belief.

3) Solution

Next, you need to make a decision to change your belief. Remember that we cannot just destroy anything without creating something new in this place.

4) Doubt

Tony Robbins, my teacher, talks about persuasion as a countertop. And the table top stands on legs. These legs are what confirms our belief. And in order for the table top to collapse, you need to start cutting down the legs. This is exactly what doubts do. If we want to change our belief, we need to ask the question: "Maybe this belief is false?" Then the human brain will begin to look for situations that prove the falsehood of this belief. After all, there are a lot of such situations, we just do not notice them. The persuasion will begin to lose its strength as you “saw down the legs of the countertop.” 5) Create a new belief

As I said, beliefs need to be changed, not destroyed. You need to consciously choose the belief that you want to root instead of the existing one.

6) Rooting a new belief

Once you've chosen the belief you want to root, use 7 ways to maintain your new belief. Look for evidence that the new belief is correct. Look for it! At the initial stage, you need to work hard for the new belief to be accepted. After accepting it, everything will go automatically.

 

[Carding 4 Carders]

Belief structure​

Beliefs can be expressed in a detailed sentence, and they can be reduced to something like this:
X = Y (X corresponds to Y) or X => Y (From X implies Y)

1. If a person has Love in life, then he Lived it for a reason.
(Love = Lived not in vain).

2. If you try, you can achieve Happiness in life.
(Try => Happiness)

3. If I have a Good Job, then I can get out of a difficult situation.
(Good Job => get out of a difficult situation).

4. If I was interesting enough, I would find myself a Beloved Husband.
(Be interesting => find the Beloved Husband).

More examples:
1. I am an Interesting Person.
2. A married person is not free.
3. Love is good.
4. If I do everything well, it means that I am talented.
5. If I work hard, I will become a rich person.

Internal representation.​

Beliefs themselves within a person are most often represented not by words, but by feelings, images that carry this meaning. Trying to formulate a belief is simply a selection of the most appropriate words. And when you try to articulate a belief, there can be a problem with the accuracy of the transmission. Very similar phrases can describe quite different beliefs.
I can change.
I can change.
These two beliefs are quite similar in sound, but very different in meaning.

Types of beliefs.​

Robert Dilts suggests breaking beliefs into three types:

1. Beliefs of Opportunity.

• That is, beliefs about what a person can and what not:
• I am completely incapable of thinking quickly.
• In order to get enough sleep, 4-5 hours a day is enough for me.
• Well, I can't leave my family.

2. Beliefs about identity.

• Who am I, what am I (the same is about other people)
• I am quite a competent specialist!
• People like me are always unlucky.
• Ivan Petrovich is a loser.

3. Belief about meaning (conformity).

• If he is jealous, then he loves.
• There is no happiness in life for the beautiful.
• If you have hands, then you will feed your family.

Why Know About Beliefs.​

If it concerns other people, beliefs help us understand what exactly this other person needs, why he reacts so and what is the reason for his actions. Also, if you wish (both your own and the client's), you can try to change these beliefs.
For yourself, knowing your own beliefs (and the way to change them) is a great tool for organizing yourself in the right way and getting rid of your own limitations.

 

[Tomcat]

The power of belief​

The impact of beliefs on our lives is enormous. In addition, they are almost unaffected by conventional logic or rational thinking.

Abraham Maslow loved to tell the old story of a man who was being treated by a psychiatrist. The hero of our story refused to eat and take care of himself, claiming that he was already a corpse. The psychiatrist spent many hours trying unsuccessfully to dissuade the patient. Finally he asked if there could be blood coming from a dead body. "Of course not," the patient replied, "after all, all physiological functions of the corpse cease." Then the psychiatrist suggested, as an experiment, prick him with a pin to check if blood would flow. The patient agreed - after all, he was already a "corpse". Of course, the blood began to flow. And then the shocked patient exclaimed: "Damn me ... the corpses are bleeding too!"

The power of belief was confirmed by another instructive experiment, in which a group of children with average (based on test results) intelligence was arbitrarily divided into two equal subgroups. One was received by the teacher, who was told that these were "gifted guys"; the teacher who took the second subgroup was told that these were "developmentally retarded children." A year later, both groups underwent a second intelligence test. Unsurprisingly, most of those who were “gifted” scored more points than those who studied with the label of “developmental lagging”. This is how the teachers' beliefs were reflected in the student's ability.

There are many examples that prove that our beliefs can shape or even predetermine the level of our intelligence, health, relationships, creativity, even the measure of our happiness and personal success. However, in this case, how can we learn to manage beliefs so that they stop controlling us? Many of the beliefs are established in childhood, under the influence of parents, teachers, public education, the media, before we begin to realize their impact or acquire the ability to independently choose beliefs. Can we rearrange, forget, or change old beliefs that limit our capabilities, and create new ones that would allow our potential to go beyond our own invented boundaries? And if this is possible, how?

Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Language Tricks patterns are a powerful new tool for changing frames and transforming potentially limiting beliefs.

LIMITING BELIEFS.
The three most common types of limiting beliefs boil down to hopelessness, helplessness, and worthlessness in one way or another. These three types of beliefs can have a huge impact on a person's mental and physical health.
1. Hopelessness: the belief that the desired goal is not achievable, regardless of your capabilities.
2. Helplessness: the belief that a desired goal is achievable, but you are unable to achieve it.
3. Worthlessness: the belief that you do not deserve the desired goal because of your own qualities or behavior.

Hopelessness means that a person does not believe that the desired goal is in principle possible. It is characterized by the following statements: “Whatever I do, it doesn't matter. I want the impossible. It's not in my power. I am a victim."
Helplessness means that even if a person in the existence and attainability believes of the desired result, he does not believe that he is able to achieve it. This state is characterized by the following feeling: “Anyone but me can achieve this goal. I am too bad or too weak to get what I want."
Worthlessness is characteristic of situations where a person can believe that the desired goal is real and he has the opportunity to achieve it, but is convinced that he does not deserve what he dreams of. Often it is accompanied by a feeling that can be expressed like this: “I am a dummy. Nobody needs me. I am not worthy of happiness or health. Something is fundamentally wrong with me, and I deserve both the pain and anguish that I am experiencing."

To be successful, you need to change these limiting beliefs into hope for the future, self-confidence and responsibility, and a sense of your own need and worth.

Obviously, the deepest beliefs are about our identity. Here are examples of such beliefs: "I am helpless (unworthy, victim)", "I do not deserve success", "If I get what I want, I will lose something", "I have no right to succeed."

Limiting beliefs often function as "thought viruses" with the same destructive power as computer or biological viruses. Thought Virus is a limiting belief that can turn into a “self-fulfilling prophecy” and nullify any attempts at healing or self-improvement. Thought viruses contain unspoken assumptions and assumptions that make it difficult to identify and combat them. Often, the most powerful beliefs remain outside of our consciousness.

CONVERSION OF LIMITING BELIEFS
Many limiting beliefs arise as a result of a “how” question not finding a suitable answer. That is, if a person does not know how to change his own behavior, it is easy to create the belief "This behavior cannot be changed." If a person does not know how to accomplish a certain task, the belief "I am not capable of achieving success in this matter" may arise. Thus, it is often necessary to find answers to many “how to do it” questions to transform limiting beliefs. For example, before we can act on the belief "It is dangerous for me to show my emotions," we must answer the question "How to show emotions while staying safe?"

Beliefs, both empowering and limiting, are often built on feedback and reinforcement from people who matter to us. For example, our sense of identity and our own mission is usually defined in relation to the people who matter to us, our "mentors" who serve as points of reference in the larger systems of which we feel like members. Because identity and mission form the framework for our beliefs and values, establishing or changing important relationships can have a huge impact on beliefs. Thus, it is not uncommon for the clarification or change of important relationships, as well as the messages received in the context of those relationships, to spontaneously facilitate the process of changing beliefs. Establishing new relationships is often an important part of the long-term process of changing beliefs, especially if these relationships provide positive support at the level of identification. (This principle is fundamental to the method of changing beliefs such as reimprinting.)

Thus, the following procedures can lead to renewal and change of limiting beliefs:
- identification and awareness of hidden positive intentions;
- Defining any unspoken or unconscious assumption or assumption underlying the belief;
- Expansion of perception of cause-and-effect relationships associated with persuasion, or “complex equivalents”;
- Providing information on “how to do it” and creating alternative options for the implementation of the positive intention or goal of the limiting belief;
- Clarifying or renewing important relationships that shape our sense of our own mission and worth, and gaining positive support at the level of identification.