Lord777
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When I talk about resentment, I remember the parable of Omar Khayyam:
One person began to publicly insult Omar Khayyam:
- You are an atheist! You are a drunkard! Almost a thief!
In response, Khayyam only smiled.
A dandy in silk trousers, who watched this scene, asked Khayyam:
- How can you tolerate such insults? Aren't you offended?
Omar Khayyam smiled again. And said:
- Come with me.
The dandy followed him into the dusty closet. Khayyam lit a torch and began to rummage in the chest, in which he found a completely useless, leaky robe. Threw it to the dandy and said:
- Try it on, it suits you. The dandy caught the robe, examined it and was indignant:
- Why do I need these dirty rags? I seem to be decently dressed, but you must be crazy! - and threw the robe back.
- You see, - said Khayyam, - you didn't want to try on rags. In the same way, I did not try on those dirty words that that man threw at me.
To be offended by insults is to try on the rags that are thrown at us.
Resentment contains two emotional states:
1. Anger at the offender.
2. Self-pity.
Why is there anger at the offender? Most likely, because the offended person feels that he has been underestimated, i.e. the offended person does not have a stable self-esteem and depends on the opinions and assessments of others. His mood may deteriorate due to the fact that they looked at him the wrong way, did not say what he did, did not do what he expected. The offended person does not have the courage to openly express his pretensions to the offender, so irritation boils inside, corroding the offended one.
And self-pity arises as a result of the desire to increase self-esteem so that it does not fall to zero, a person begins to feel sorry for himself and at the same time get angry with another: “Oh, I'm poor, unhappy, everyone offends me. And I, in fact, are so good. they are all bad. " In general, self-pity arises in people who feel unloved, deprived of attention and recognition from others. Therefore, they often feel sorry for themselves, and, as a result, anger at other people. In this connection, it seems to them more often than to others that they want to offend, offend.
Taking offense at another is, of course, a manifestation of a person's weakness. After all, if one person wanted to offend another, the other took it and was offended. This means that he followed the lead of the first.
And if the first did not intend to offend the second, and the second took and was offended? This already looks like an inner need to be offended.
It so happens that being offended is profitable! Why? For several reasons.
First, it allows a person to live without changing himself for the better. In particular, when a person is pointed to a flaw, it is easier to be offended than to eliminate the flaw: "You see, he doesn't like that my shoes are unpeeled !!!
Secondly, it allows you to manipulate other people: "If you do not help me, I will be offended by you."
Thirdly, it allows you to be rigid, i.e. to have an unchanging picture of the world: "Since childhood, I used to swear. It is normal for me. I am offended that you call me an ignoramus and rude."
Do you still want to be offended by others? Look for benefits in this!
One person began to publicly insult Omar Khayyam:
- You are an atheist! You are a drunkard! Almost a thief!
In response, Khayyam only smiled.
A dandy in silk trousers, who watched this scene, asked Khayyam:
- How can you tolerate such insults? Aren't you offended?
Omar Khayyam smiled again. And said:
- Come with me.
The dandy followed him into the dusty closet. Khayyam lit a torch and began to rummage in the chest, in which he found a completely useless, leaky robe. Threw it to the dandy and said:
- Try it on, it suits you. The dandy caught the robe, examined it and was indignant:
- Why do I need these dirty rags? I seem to be decently dressed, but you must be crazy! - and threw the robe back.
- You see, - said Khayyam, - you didn't want to try on rags. In the same way, I did not try on those dirty words that that man threw at me.
To be offended by insults is to try on the rags that are thrown at us.
Resentment contains two emotional states:
1. Anger at the offender.
2. Self-pity.
Why is there anger at the offender? Most likely, because the offended person feels that he has been underestimated, i.e. the offended person does not have a stable self-esteem and depends on the opinions and assessments of others. His mood may deteriorate due to the fact that they looked at him the wrong way, did not say what he did, did not do what he expected. The offended person does not have the courage to openly express his pretensions to the offender, so irritation boils inside, corroding the offended one.
And self-pity arises as a result of the desire to increase self-esteem so that it does not fall to zero, a person begins to feel sorry for himself and at the same time get angry with another: “Oh, I'm poor, unhappy, everyone offends me. And I, in fact, are so good. they are all bad. " In general, self-pity arises in people who feel unloved, deprived of attention and recognition from others. Therefore, they often feel sorry for themselves, and, as a result, anger at other people. In this connection, it seems to them more often than to others that they want to offend, offend.
Taking offense at another is, of course, a manifestation of a person's weakness. After all, if one person wanted to offend another, the other took it and was offended. This means that he followed the lead of the first.
And if the first did not intend to offend the second, and the second took and was offended? This already looks like an inner need to be offended.
It so happens that being offended is profitable! Why? For several reasons.
First, it allows a person to live without changing himself for the better. In particular, when a person is pointed to a flaw, it is easier to be offended than to eliminate the flaw: "You see, he doesn't like that my shoes are unpeeled !!!
Secondly, it allows you to manipulate other people: "If you do not help me, I will be offended by you."
Thirdly, it allows you to be rigid, i.e. to have an unchanging picture of the world: "Since childhood, I used to swear. It is normal for me. I am offended that you call me an ignoramus and rude."
Do you still want to be offended by others? Look for benefits in this!
