Anger Management

[Teacher]

Salute, carders, in this article you will learn how to manage your anger or how to control yourself.

For example, a joyful mood and laughter have a beneficial effect on human health, prolong life, which has already been scientifically proven.
Because laughter stimulates the production of hormones such as serotonin, dopamine, and endorphin.
All of them are from the series "hormones of happiness".
In addition, the diaphragm, facial and abdominal muscles are involved during laughter.
This increases the blood circulation of many internal organs, the body is saturated with oxygen, the amount of the “stress hormone " decreases, and therefore the reason for diseases caused by nervous shocks disappears.

But not only laughter, even tears (in moderation) relieve stress, remove toxins, improve vision, increase immunity, help normalize blood pressure and defuse emotions.
But uncontrolled anger, anger, revenge and jealousy can greatly shorten a person's life.
And this is primarily due to the fact that these emotions activate the production of cortisol – the very “stress hormone”.
A moderate dose of this hormone is even useful for the body, as it has a protective effect that helps to overcome life's difficulties, along with adrenaline.
But with prolonged and uncontrolled aggression, there is a risk of developing diabetes, hypertension (high blood pressure) and destruction of muscle tissue.
The body actually produces a poison that causes many diseases, including cancer.
Therefore, to avoid such disastrous consequences, you need to be able to vent negative emotions correctly, without putting your health and the health of those who have caught you “under the hot hand”at risk.

How to calm down and control yourself

1. If fate has given you an unpleasant surprise, and something has made you very angry, try to get away from the culprit of resentment in order to give yourself the opportunity to calm down.

Sometimes five minutes of silence and solitude are enough to stifle a sudden outburst of anger.

2. If the topic of conversation irritates you, try to turn the conversation in a different direction, or make a good joke.

3. It is very effective to switch to slow deep breathing in times of stress.

4. Try to speak objectively, without getting personal.

Of course, this is very difficult to do, especially if the other person is deliberately provoking you to insults.
Be above it, the phrase thrown in the hearts can complicate the relationship for a long time and cause a backlash.
It won't get any easier for him or you, and nervous overexcitation isn't so easy to calm down.

5. If something has offended or offended you, try to explain yourself, but only when you have completely calmed down.

6. Proven means to eliminate negative emotions are physical exercises or music (turn on your favorite song and try to get rid of everything for a while).

7. Don't overwork yourself, switch to other activities more often.

Get enough sleep, share moments of intimacy with your loved one.

8. Try to solve serious issues only when you are in a good mood.

If you are sick, exhausted, depressed, and in a state close to depression, try to postpone solving important problems.

9. Look for reasons to be happy.

Change your surroundings from time to time without letting your daily routine get the better of you. Spend more time on your desires and people close to your heart.

 

[Lord777]

Anger. A very important FEELING (not to be confused with anger and evil as a concept).

Where it is suppressed for a long time, access to the energy of desires is lost (I don't know what I want), there over time experiences “I don't know who I am, I don't know what I am ”Appear, a variety of ailments appear there, if it takes a long time and suppress very thoroughly. There appear uncontrollable outbursts of anything - total guilt (read - anger directed at oneself), depression can form there, an inner critic appears there, who settles in the head like a fat troll and depreciates every step, casts doubt on his own goodness and so as not to collapse from all this, there are projections into the outside world.

Where anger is suppressed, there arise constant resentment from which you can endlessly cry into your pillow at night, or walk with an often sore throat.

Anger - it can be different.​

It happens as a protection of the valuable.

And it happens as a symptom that I somehow do not take responsibility for my life, believing that others should do what I think is fair and right, that others should already understand what I mean, even when I do not say it directly.

In any case, anger is a regulator of one's own boundaries.​

Where anger is suppressed, there is no clarity in the experience of one's own boundaries. Throws it in violation of strangers, then in excessive bending of its own.

Anger is often called a "negative feeling," and it is often believed that being angry is bad, stupid, pointless, wrong, unrighteous.

And it seems to me that the whole point is that expressing anger is a whole skill that is taught in few places. Often, anger is considered dangerous - dangerous for relationships, dangerous for the assessment of others (what will people think of me? I want to be "good" in the eyes of others ... but in general there is a whole locomotive of all can drag on for this.

Anger is the teeth of a person.​

They can chew on what's useful.

You can protect yourself with them.

You can express yourself with them.

The question is not whether to be angry or suppress your anger.

The question is HOW to express your anger.

When I worked with children, for many of them it was a whole discovery that you can express your anger with the words "I am angry now", "When you take a toy from me or destroy my buildings, ruin my drawings, I am angry, it is unpleasant for me, please , do not do this, otherwise I will distance myself from you / I will swear with you / I will not trust you. "

Before that, the only way to protect himself and express his anger was to take away the toy, ruin the drawing in response, hit, call, throw a tantrum, and once, the boy endured, endured, and then took a knife and rushed at his offender.

Parents, who were also never taught to express their anger, grabbed their hearts, felt ashamed, shouted at their children, forced to stop it = suppress their anger. After all, what will people think?

Few people taught us to recognize our anger: “You are now angry because Vanya took your toy away. You have the right to be angry and say about it:“ I am angry and I don’t want you to take the toy, return it. ”“ You cannot beat Vanya it hurts. But you can take care of yourself by identifying yourself and warnings about what you will do if Vanya does not hear you and will continue. "

Or “You’re angry now, because you want to keep playing, but it’s time to end the game. I notice you in your anger. But you don’t need to beat me for that, it hurts and I will not allow myself to be beaten. You can talk about your anger and worry I see that you don’t want to end the game. But these are the rules, there’s nothing you can do about it. We have to leave, no matter how hard it is. ”

Anger is a way to understand yourself. A way to feel your importance, yourself​

Anger is always a marker of something important. And as a rule, it is a wrapper for deeper feelings and experiences. But without realizing anger, we seem to throw out the boxes with this wrapper called "anger", not knowing what is inside these boxes. And there are often jewels called "my values".

Giving ourselves the opportunity to feel anger by living it, we remove these wrappers, exploring what is wrapped in them.

Living in anger is not the same as hitting in the face, insulting, destroying everything around you.

Living in anger means staying in touch with that feeling, giving it as much space as needed.

Take care of your own safety and the environment.

Insulting a person and labeling yourself “I'm angry when you do this” or “I'm angry with you now and I'm ready to continue the conversation when I calm down” are completely different things.

For in the first case (in insults) excitement is overwhelmed, on which actions are performed that can be regretted "sober up" from anger.

In the second case, there is a clear designation of oneself and the allocation of space to oneself for the ripening of anger into some other quality.

For example, in realizing the value of not allowing yourself to be insulted.

Or in the experience of regret that it is very sad that everything did not happen as we wanted.

Or experiencing the value of a relationship with this person.

Or in the realization that, in fact, under this anger lives your own fear or vulnerability.

Anger is a loyal dog that is always on guard for the safety and values of its owner. It is only important to tame to make friends with this dog.

P.S. And yes, by the way, where anger is suppressed, there is fertile ground for dependent relationships.