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You and I communicate with different people, and each has its own view of things and their own ways to get what you want. Here are the five most common types of manipulation - recognize yourself in the situations described and don't get caught!
Examples:
Examples:
Examples:
Here are just a few examples of this manipulation:
A bad person is a bad argument
Here is a very telling and understandable name: in order to discredit an argument or opinion of a person, you can discredit him, and it does not matter how. For example:- “You first dress like a human, and then go with your ideas”;
- “And this is what a person with a criminal record tells us?”;
- “Why are you listening to him, he even manages to make a mistake in the word agreement!”;
- "You first come on time to meetings, and then try to take the floor!"
Inconsistency of words with deeds
As in the previous kind of manipulation, here the discussion of the topic is essentially replaced by the discussion of the opponent. Only if before that there was any slanderous discrediting, in this case the manipulator shows the inconsistency of the interlocutor's arguments with his own behavior, manifestations of character, life principles and position. Let's say you argue about the war, and your counterpart asks: "How can you argue , if you are in any war did not participate?".Examples:
- “What do you teach me when you yourself did this in your youth?”;
- “You are here talking about modern fashion, but you yourself are wearing worn out, dirty shoes of Chinese production! Do not make me laugh!";
- “You are talking about the fact that you should not show aggression towards animals, but you yourself wear a leather jacket!”;
- "You will first learn to speak Russian yourself without mistakes, and then make comments on how to put stress on me!"
Personal gain
The manipulator questions the sincerity and truthfulness of his opponent's words, suspecting him of personal interest, self-interest or bias. That is why Nikita calls this manipulation “personal gain”. Like all other manipulations, it has the character of an attack on the person, since it hits the person himself and, as always, is not related to the subject of discussion.Examples:
- “You are so insistent on taking this particular candidate; I think this is some kind of your person. And there is no need to deny it, it is too clear and obvious! I can imagine who you will bring!”;
- "Listen, you will probably get a kickback for this…";
- “Tell the truth: who paid you to defend this?”;
- “Do you really believe that this deputy will repair our road? And even if so, do you know how much money he will make from it? Then he will drive a new “Mercedes” for our hard-earned money! Don't even think to trust him!".
Ignorance
The manipulator is always playing on our emotional strings, this is what I call the target of manipulation. And very often this string is the fear of appearing ignorant, inexperienced, incompetent or ignorant. We are very often afraid to admit that we do not know or do not understand something, we are embarrassed to show our ignorance. This is the basis of the manipulation, which the author of the book calls very simply: "Ignorance."Examples:
- “Everyone has known for a long time that…”;
- "Yes, you read Wikipedia for a start, everything is written there…";
- "The well-known postulate of economic theory confirms my opinion.";
- “What can you say about the coefficient of determination? AND?";
- “You see, I'm definitely right here!”;
- “Well, you've probably read this book! This is a classic of business literature! All educated people read it! There it says the same thing. So I propose to accept my point of view ”;
- "I'm not sure if the validity you specified can be correlated, so you will have to change some of the metrics in the report."
"Why are your hands shaking?"
Some manipulations represent a personal attack aimed not at a person's inner world, his experience, knowledge, actions or competencies, but at his appearance or behavior.Here are just a few examples of this manipulation:
- “Why are your hands shaking? Are you afraid or what? ";
- “Why aren't you looking at me? Are you ashamed to look in your eyes?”;
- “Why are you jerking your foot all the time? Are you nervous? Are you uncomfortable?”;
- “Why are you scratching your eye all the time? Do you know that psychologists claim that this is a sure sign that a person is blatantly lying?";
- “You sit in a closed position all the time. I have a strong impression that you are insincere now".