17 deadly sins of NLP

[Brother]

This is a sensational article on the content of which many NLPers have already thought more than once. Perhaps not everyone will believe everything that is written there, but everyone who reads recognizes the value. The author of the article is Alexey Leontiev.

Stas Ukolov stopped by. They chatted with him for a long time. We thought a lot.
We have a phase with him, development (in NLP), when we notice everything where NLP DOES NOT WORK. This is probably always the case when you learn something. First, you admire the results, and look at how what you are learning works, generalize to all contexts in a row, and then, the next phase - when you realize that what you are learning DOESN'T WORK.
Here's what we dug up with him.

1) NLP is not responsible for the bazaar. (this apparently went from Bandler, although I could be wrong). What is promised (by trainers, for example, at trainings) is not done. And then it is disposed of with promotions.

{when I write NLP, I mean - Russian NLPers, whom Stas and I know them. There are, of course, exceptions, but for the most part.}

2) This is connected with the courses "Practitioner", and "Master" within which presuppositions are built up (not only and not so much Basic NLP), but also a bunch of others. Moreover, most of the coaches, apparently, are not aware of these presuppositions (which they also build in).

3) NLPers are less likely to identify that a person (another) needs, and give it to him. They often offer a person something that they think he needs, and when he tries to refuse it, they act with promotions.

4) Point 3 - starts right from the beginning of NLP training. The average person comes to the "Practitioner" course in order to: become more successful, solve their problems, learn to glue girls, learn to talk with the authorities (or with whom else he could not talk to), learn to manage communication, learn to hypnotize, because this is a way show off, etc. The person is being taught psychotherapy. And a lot of technologies have already been worked out within the "Practice" training, which are aimed at utilizing and pre-utilizing possible reactions, such as: "Why do we need 6-step refaming with visual squeezing?"

That is - already the "sale" of not what the person needs (for which the person came) takes place on the course "Practitioner", and, as a rule, continues further. For example, Horst's last training, which was declared as training in modeling - and as a result about modeling, it would be good if at least a third of the training. Those. NLP is not responsible for the bazaar here either.

Disclaimer 1. I'm talking about "Pliginsko-Entusovsky" design Practice and about them.

Disclaimer 2. I understand that if you push the same skills through your ass and make some extra effort - you can achieve the goals for which a person comes to learn NLP. But why not make "Practice" according to the needs of the audience. Or not to make the advertisement for the "Practitioner" course more honest, write what the training is "sharpened" for.

Disclaimer 3. I understand that there are people who come to the "Practitioner" just to learn (improve their skills) in psychotherapy. And what is their percentage?

5) There is no modeling model in NLP (and everyone says that NLP = Modeling). Another confirmation that NLP is not responsible for the bazaar. Well, many have already written about this.

6) In NLP there is no model for identifying presuppositions in speech. (And it is stated that we are working with this). Just as there is no model for identifying beliefs. Many NLP masters hawk the emotionally spoken beliefs without seeing the need to doubt them. And when (as happens most often) these beliefs are covered with a beautiful lid of presuppositions - under the lid, as a rule, no one tries to look in - they hawala.

7) In NLP there is no model (definition at least) of responsibility.

8) In NLP there is no model (definition at least) of ecology.

9) There is no model for building and recognizing meta messages. As well as the very concept of a meta message is not clearly defined, I know at least three different definitions.

10) The same with the concepts of "values", "criteria" and many others.

11) In addition, in the area of beliefs, it is worth distinguishing "Verbal Beliefs" from "Real Beliefs". Or call it something else, I'll explain what I mean now.

"Verbal beliefs" are common among NLPers. As a rule, these are basic presuppositions of NLP. NLPers talk aboutthat - the universe is friendly, that it is useful to proceed from intention, not from behavior, that the map does not equal territory, etc. These are their "Verbal Beliefs". If you ask them whether they believe in them, you are more likely to get a congruent answer "Of course!" And at the same time, if you observe their behavior, you will see that the majority of the people come from their map, as from the territory, and if in reality something is not confirmed, they believe that something is wrong with reality. They go outside in the evening (or come up with your own scary context) and begin to be afraid of a friendly universe, and happily get involved in conflicts, not paying attention to the positive intention of the interlocutor. So, judging by the behavior, one can make an assumption about the "real beliefs" of these people - that that the universe is hostile (at least many of its places are), that positive intention is from the word "put on smth." , maps = territories, or if you want "I have the correct map, but there is something wrong with the territory".

12) With basic presuppositions in general - big questions. From whom and how were they identified? How if NLP doesn't have a model for identifying presuppositions? And how do we use them, for what? To prove something? As in geometry with the help of axioms, we prove theorems? At the same time, it is not necessary to believe in them, as in axioms - we change the axioms and obtain a different geometry. Or (as many trainers do on the "practice" course) - we recommend them "for execution", ie let them become "real convictions" among the people.

14) Stas expressed an interesting idea. The presupposition "all cards are equal, and there is no card more correct or better", which is also cultivated in NLP, is extremely harmful and leads to schizophrenia. On a good note, if you go a little further, you do not need to change your map, even if it is very different from the (shared) reality, and even if you have only negative and painful effects from it. You don't need to check it with experience and change it, because it is just as good and correct as everyone else. You will get brown poop for feedback if you have a presupposition that all cards are equally useful.

15) Promotion is a terrible thing. NLP Masters, noticing a discrepancy with their card in someone, turn on promotions and talk mainly with them. At the same time, they often cheat - rapport by values (and even by behavior), the resource of the interlocutor, and most importantly, the purpose of using promotions. I also observed this pattern in all coaches, starting with Annie Entus (I think I'm saying something bad about the sacred cow of Russian NLP, but I'm ready to answer for the bazaar) and ending with my beloved. Unless the coaches (and even then not always) are better for the purpose of using promotions.

16) In NLP it is customary to "steal with love" ideas and the rest from others. I don't see anything bad in this, but personally I would be pleased if NLPers indicated from whom what was stolen. Or at least that the thought is not their own.

17) Imagine a small child learning to walk. First, he learns to stand, holding on to something. Then gradually, for a while, he takes his hands off the support. Then - stands without hands, not holding on to anything. He still does not know how to walk, however, if you push him at the same time, he will probably walk a few steps and then fall. Although he does not yet have the skill to walk.

Now let's look through the filters of this example at the certification of, say, the NLP Master course (Although I think this also applies to the certification of both the Practitioner and the Trainer). Certification is usually a good push in the back for novice NLPers who have already learned to stand without holding on to the wall. So they go through a few steps. Those who fall are immediately given a participant certificate. Those who walk a couple of steps, they are picked up in their arms (so that they do not fall) and said - "bah, you have demonstrated the skills that you can walk!", And are awarded the certificate of the Master ( Practice, Trainer) ...

I affirm that on the Master course this happens with the skills of multipositional description, calibration of strategies according to QGD, changing the boundaries of one's own "I" and others - continue the list further yourself. These skills are not sustainable skills for most certification masters. And many do not develop in any way further in life (and, as a rule, there is no incentive, and so excellent).

Reservation. An example with a child who takes several steps, but does not walk yet, was lovingly stolen from LJeyuser

 

[BadB]

Edward Hall is the great grandfather of NLP​

Much of the programming we use to make changes when working in NLP techniques is the result of cultural programming1. Everything that we have taught ourselves to do, and what we want to change (habits, problems, useless actions we perform) are often a by-product of our cultural baggage, especially in a situation of intercultural communication. For example, as between different cultures in America (blacks, Spanish, Asians, Americans, Indians and Europeans), between the cultures of leaders and subordinates, between men and women, or between parents and children.

Intracultural communication
Many of us are not even aware that some of the approaches used by NLP to solve these problems stemmed from pioneering work in the field of intercultural communication (ICC). This area studies the subjective experience in culture: on the one hand, independent, and on the other, taking into account differences in languages.
Most people date the IWC's creation from Edward T. Hall's publication " The Silent Language what I learned useful from his genius for understanding and progressing through cultures other than my own. I would like to present some basic ideas for your pleasure and admiration, as well as some examples of how I have benefited from their use in the last 8 years that I have lived in Europe.

Edward T. Hall as early NLPer

In his book " The Silent Language "(" Silent Language ") Hall said:" Experience is what a person projects onto the world around him, as he receives in his culture-conditioned form. "If NLP was based on one presupposition, it would surely be the same the very thought - the study of subjective experience begins with how we sort, select and create our personal realities." In understanding culture, the analogy with music is very useful, "Hall will say later." Musical bars can be compared to a technical description of culture ... in both cases, the musical notation system allows people to talk about what they are doing. I would like to emphasize that these are the laws governing patterns: the laws of order, choice and congruence. "Here Hall could talk about metaprograms." As talented composers, some people are more gifted in life than others. They really influence people around them, but the process stops there, because there is no technical way of describing, terminology, their mostly unconscious actions. Sometime in the future, very, very soon, when the culture will be more fully explored, they will create the equivalent of a musical score that can be learned and which will be separate for each specific type of men and women engaged in different activities, for different relationships between them. time, place, work and play. We see people who are successful and happy today, who have jobs that bring satisfaction and results. What sets of elements and patterns distinguish them from those whose lives are less fortunate? We need funds in order to make life less casual and more enjoyable.3 ". No doubt what Hall is talking about here is modeling. "Man is an organism that models perfection," Hall would write 16 years later, the same year that Bandler and Grinder gave the name NLP "Grammars and writing systems are models of language ... Myths, philosophical systems and science represent different types of models of what social scientists call cognitive systems. The purpose of the model is to enable the user to better cope with the complexities of life. Using models, we see and investigate how things work, and we can predict how things will go in the future . People are very closely identified with their models, which later become the basis of behavior. People fought and died in the name of different patterns of being. 4 "Edward T. Hall received his Ph.D. from Columbia University in 1942. He conducted field research with Navajo, Hopi, Spanish-American, European, and Middle Eastern communities. In the 1950s, he led training programs for the State Department, teaching technical and management personnel working overseas how to communicate successfully across cultural boundaries. He has taught at the University of Denver, Bennington College, Washington School of Psychiatry, Harvard Business School, Illinois Institute of Technology, Northwestern University ... the list goes on ... He currently lives in Santa Fe, New Mexico. teaches widely in America, Europe and Japan. In work "He has conducted field research with Navajo Indians, Hopi Indians, Hispanic Americans, Europeans, and Middle and Far East communities. In the 1950s, he led training programs for the State Department, teaching technical and management personnel working overseas how to communicate successfully across cultural boundaries. He has taught at the University of Denver, Bennington College, Washington School of Psychiatry, Harvard Business School, Illinois Institute of Technology, Northwestern University ... the list goes on ...

Monochronic and polychronic time
First of all, let's talk about time. At first, Hall distinguished between what he called monochronic and polychronic time. "M-time is one-thing-in-one-time unit, following the linear form so familiar in the West ... A natural consequence of the industrial revolution. Monochronic cultures emphasize the importance of timetables - around the accuracy of meeting times and arrangements carefully a special code of conduct has been developed. "Polychronic cultures are exactly the opposite: human relationships and interactions are valued higher than oppressive schedules and scheduled meetings. A lot of things can happen suddenly (because a lot of people are involved in everything), and often not what was planned happens ... P-time is polychronous, ie it is many-all-at-one-time. P-tense is widely used in Mediterranean and colonial Iberian-Indian cultures; Americans are usually monochronic, while the French, for example, are mostly polychronic. So what happens if I, an American living in France, walk into a French office? I come right on time. The French leader speaks on the phone during our meeting. Members of his family drop in. His subordinates ask questions. We leave the office for lunch. He invites several friends with us. All this seems to me to be truly disorganizing. For a Frenchman, no problem. They are used to doing a lot of things at the same time. A Frenchman comes to meet me. He is late. I spend a little time in small conversation in order to establish contact. Then I move on to the agenda. First, we will discuss what we want, what we need and what we get as a result; secondly, we will negotiate the deal; and thirdly, we will sign the contract. Finally, we will spend a little more time in pleasant conversation. My French colleague thinks that this Van Der Horst is a demanding, pedantic bore! At the level of our empirical experience, these two cultural models of time can be represented by what we in NLP call "Through time" - a monochromatic timeline, and "Included" - polychromatic ... In fact, if these definitions are met, they can be a potential contribution of NLP to identifying, understanding and changing cultural misunderstandings. that this Van Der Horst is a demanding, pedantic bore! At the level of our empirical experience, these two cultural models of time can be represented by what we in NLP call "Through time" - a monochromatic timeline, and "Included" - polychromatic. In fact, if these definitions are met, they can be a potential contribution of NLP to identifying, understanding and changing cultural misunderstandings. that this Van Der Horst is a demanding, pedantic bore! At the level of our empirical experience, these two cultural models of time can be represented by what we in NLP call "Through time" - a monochromatic timeline, and "Included" - polychromatic. In fact, if these definitions are met, they can be a potential contribution of NLP to identifying, understanding and changing cultural misunderstandings. these two cultural models of time can be represented by what we in NLP call "Through time" - a monochromatic timeline, and "Included" - polychromatic. In fact, if these definitions are met, they can be a potential contribution of NLP to identifying, understanding and changing cultural misunderstandings. these two cultural models of time can be represented by what we in NLP call "Through time" - a monochromatic timeline, and "Included" - polychromatic. In fact, if these definitions are met, they can be a potential contribution of NLP to identifying, understanding and changing cultural misunderstandings.

CROPS HIGH AND LOW CONTEXTUALIZED​

The two time orientations described above tend to induce two other important cultural phenomena: the distinction between high and low contextualized cultures. "These terms describe the fact that when people communicate, they take for granted how much the listener knows about the subject matter. In low-context communication, the listener knows very little and needs to be told pretty much everything. In high-context communication , the listener is already. "contextualized" and therefore does not need to give a lot of background information (additional information) 6 ". American contracts, for example, are 10 or more times longer than French ones. Americans like to have a lot of content, and the French don agreement is clear. Remember: the Frenchman thinks that "If this is a great idea, it should work"; the American thinks, "If this works, it must be a great idea." French culture is highly contextualized; American culture is low / high contextualized. There is another way to observe such differences. Jack, an American, is in France. He invites Marie, a Frenchwoman, to go to dinner with him and watch the play. Midnight. She puts coffee and brandy on the table. Jack starts talking about what they have in common. He looks meaningfully into her eyes. He tries to snuggle up to Marie. Marie says, "Relax, Jack. You're going to spend the night. Don't fuss." Jack thinks he is the great Casanova, and does not know that the context has already been determined, - whether they sleep together or not - will happen only in the course of further events. Jules, a Frenchman, is in America. The same scene as described above, only Mary is an American. Right after coffee and cognac Jules jumps on Mary. Mary is terrified. Jules doesn't understand. He just got all the contextual markers seduction. He does not know that Mary expects more content (content) before starting the courtship. She wants to know how much they have in common, discuss their relationship, share intimate details, exchange medical records, and only then can she go to the content of romantic dizziness. Michael Tyson would never have been charged with rape in France. Under French law, the content of a situation determines the content of "what happens". I know this sounds crazy and I don't condone violence. I am simply reporting what many of my French friends have told me (including several lawyers). The idea of context is so important in France that if a woman enters a man's hotel room at 3 am, the French jury will consider that she has already consented to sexual intercourse. The context of numerous French court cases explains why Passion Crimes receive such light sentences. "Japanese, Arab, Mediterranean, where there is an extensive information network among families, friends, colleagues and clients who are involved in close personal relationships, are highly contextualized," Hall wrote to his wife Mildred Reed Hall in "Understanding Cultural Differences", 1990 (" Understanding Cultural Differences ")." As a result, for most normal interactions in everyday life, they do not require, much less expect, comprehensive background information. This is because they constantly maintain their awareness of everything that concerns the people who are important to them. "many aspects of daily life. Therefore, every time they communicate with others, they need detailed background information. The French are much higher on the context scale than the Germans or Americans. This difference can have a significant impact on any situation and relationship,
Look at the ingenious table7 that Hall created to describe some of the patterns that can be predicted between cultures with different time systems.

HIDDEN SPACE DIMENSIONS​

The Hidden Dimension, 1966, is the title of Hall's research into the cultural phenomenon of space, including invisible territorial boundaries, personal space, and VAKOG !! as sensory organs of space), as well as several distinctions (differences), which are rarely talked about in NLP. Below are a few key ideas. Territoriality: "Americans tend to call a certain space" theirs ": the chef will call his kitchen, the child thinks so about his bedroom. In Germany, this sense of territorial ownership is usually extended to everything that they own. If someone touches a German car, it's almost the same as if he touched the German himself, the owner of this car. Cultural orientation towards sensory modalities: "Highly contextualized people do not filter visitors, but live successfully, open to interruptions and in the rhythm of their surroundings. Therefore, when you are in a French or Italian city, you are periodically deafened by noise. "Personal space:" Around each person there is an invisible spatial sphere (bubble), which expands or contracts depending on a number of circumstances: relationships with people around, the emotional state of a person, cultural component and the activity that occurs at the time of communication. Some people are allowed to move forward. a little deeper into personal space, and then for short periods of time ... In northern Europe, this sphere is quite large, and people keep their distance. In southern France, Italy, Greece and Spain, these bubbles are getting smaller and smaller. " These recent observations of personal space help to clarify what has been troubling me for a long time in France. When I did my own research, I found that personal space is that space that you must warn another person about and do something if this person invades this zone. There is also an intimate space - such a distance, penetration into which is perceived as an invasion of privacy. This personal space for Americans begins approximately with the distance of two arms outstretched For the French - although they differ depending on whether they live in the south or in the north - this space is about an arm's length. This is the beginning of an intimate zone for Americans. For the French, the intimate zone starts at an elbow's distance, or even closer. I've been claustrophobic in French bathrooms for years. They are very narrow: the walls touch your spaced elbows; in American, you can extend your arms completely in any direction around you. Reading Hall, I realized that French bathrooms were invading my intimate space, and suddenly I no longer needed to apply V / K dissociation to myself every time I wanted to go to the restroom. I can just smile and say, "Yeah, this little French room did it one more time." Another important point in Hall's work that I feel can help NLP practitioners is the concept of a sequence of actions. A chain of actions is a "term, borrowed from the behavior of animals and intended to describe the internal processes in which one action gives an outlet to another in the form of a unified pattern. Courtship is a fairly complex example. Making a date or asking someone out for dinner is another example.8 " One of my favorite examples is the chain of actions from Paul Watzlawick's example during World War II. Both the British and the Americans at the same time called a different culture. "Overly sexual." This is a rather rare cross-cultural conflict. Usually mutual misunderstandings are polarized. One culture is hot, and another is cold, for example. steps in the courtship ritual: from the first hello to the moment the couple goes to bed. One of the steps found in both cultures is the kiss on the lips. In America, this is step number 3, which is necessary in order to establish an intimate relationship. But in England this is about step 18, which is almost the last thing you do before you have sex: Imagine an American soldier on a date with a girl from England. In order to direct the relationship in the right direction, to warm up a little, the guy kisses the girl on the lips (almost like in Hollywood movies). The girl in our example now has to make a difficult choice: she thinks that the guy is obsessed with sex; besides, they barely know each other, and she was already deceived by as much as 15 steps. Therefore, she can immediately leave the stage. In this case, Yankee says: "She is obviously hypersexual and hysterical: everything, what I did - just kissed her on the lips." Another choice for her is to start getting ready to go to bed. The guy broke the chain of her actions, therefore, she is one or two steps away from the main event. Yankee's case says, "She's obviously hypersexual! She took off her clothes, and all I did was kiss her on the lips." The girl in our example now has to make a difficult choice: she thinks that the guy is obsessed with sex; besides, they barely know each other, and she was already deceived by as much as 15 steps. Therefore, she can immediately leave the stage. In this case, Yankee says: "She is obviously hypersexual and hysterical: everything, what I did - just kissed her on the lips." Another choice for her is to start getting ready to go to bed. The guy broke the chain of her actions, therefore, she is one or two steps away from the main event. Yankee's case says, "She's obviously hypersexual! She took off her clothes, and all I did was kiss her on the lips." The girl in our example now has to make a difficult choice: she thinks that the guy is obsessed with sex; besides, they barely know each other, and she was already deceived by as much as 15 steps. Therefore, she can immediately leave the stage. In this case, Yankee says: "She is obviously hypersexual and hysterical: everything, what I did - just kissed her on the lips." Another choice for her is to start getting ready to go to bed. The guy broke the chain of her actions, therefore, she is one or two steps away from the main event. Yankee's case says, "She's obviously hypersexual! She took off her clothes, and all I did was kiss her on the lips." and she was already deceived by as much as 15 steps. Therefore, she can immediately leave the stage. In this case, Yankee says: "She is obviously hypersexual and hysterical: everything, what I did - just kissed her on the lips." Another choice for her is to start getting ready to go to bed.

THE CASE OF A SHORT YANKA AND A HIGH-ROOM FROGER​

Familiarity with Hall's work can help you understand, forgive, and perhaps even appreciate what is not visible, transparent, or explored in intercultural conflicts. Take the case of a French marketing director I met at a party in the suburbs of Paris. He complained that Americans were narrow-minded and childishly spontaneous. Of course, I asked him how he understood this? He worked in America while on a business trip. At the end of the first week of work, one of his colleagues invited him to dinner. A little later, his car broke down. He called the American and asked him to let him down, but he did not want to do this. "This is how you understand it," he said, "at first they are friendly, but then they do not maintain long-term friendships." I've heard that before. First of all I tried to adjust. I say: " I know that here, in France, inviting someone to dinner is a deeply personal event that signifies a high degree of social acceptance. In America it is often the same, but there are small nuances. "I began to reflect on the differences between monochronic and polychronic cultures, high and low contextualized cultures, and chains of actions. My wife asked the Frenchman," What did you do after that dinner? "“ Nothing special, ”he replied,“ I brought flowers, we had dinner together at his house. ”I asked him:“ How long has it been between dinner and problems with the car? ”“ Three months, ”was his answer . Asked: "If you are in France, have you invited the person you see for the first time to your home for dinner?" "No, of course not," - he replied (I was already familiar with this chain of actions) ... You should first have a coffee together, then go to a bar, have a drink there, then have lunch at a bistro, and then perhaps have dinner at a restaurant. After that, you know if you want to invite this person to your home. How long does this process take? Three to six weeks. "Then you test the person before you invite them home?" “Of course,” the Frenchman replied promptly. "Okay, Americans do the same," I said, "only they test you AFTER dinner." I explained that if you didn't thank you in the form of a note or a phone call, the day after dinner, you were judged to be impolite. In addition, if you do not keep in touch by phone, letters, faxes or face-to-face meetings at least once a week, after three to six weeks, the American will think that you have ended the relationship. I continued to sympathize: " I 'here is what you should do on the level of behavior if you are meeting someone for the first time: you should smile and say nice things. Then you need to decide how much you respect the person, especially being in America, where there is no such difference in distance to him depending on social status or social stratification that exists in France. North Americans expect all people to be approximately equal. Not in France. Here, a distance is maintained depending on the power, social stratum. (Would they have a national slogan "Wealth, Equality, Brotherhood" if they had it of paramount importance?) Here respect is the first criterion that needs to be defined in social interaction. That's why, if you respect the interlocutor and you are respected, what are you doing at the level of behavior? You judge, evaluate, figure out the social class of the other person, then accurately reflect the actions that will bring you respect in your home culture. Laughter, smiles and pleasant conversations will begin later in your chain of events, after you have determined who respects whom. All of Edward T. Hall's work carries a trace of his genius. I recommend reading them all. In the order in which they were published, if you want to gain some grand insight into the scientific origins of NLP and learn how to approach mastering intercultural communication. If you have read-only time for one of his works, I recommend starting with Beyond culture "(" Beyond Culture "), which is a great overview of his work. It has four types of pointers: one - for authors, the second - for subjects, the third - for topics and the fourth - " Ideas and techniques of transcendence (superiority) ". This last section reads like a poem." A person cannot, through introspection and self-inquiry, understand himself or the forces that shape his life without understanding culture. "Cultures will not change until all people change. There are neuro-biological-political-economic-historical and cultural-paradynamic reasons for this." "Culture is a dictatorship if it is not understood and studied." From synchronization with a person. When this happens, people go crazy and do not even notice it. "" In order to avoid madness, people must learn to move beyond the boundaries of culture and adapt it to the era and to their biological organism. "" To accomplish this task, since self-exploration does not tell you anything, a person needs the experience of other cultures. Those. in order to survive, all cultures need each other."

BIBLIOGRAPHY OF EDWARD T. HALL:​

The Silent Language , New York: Doubleday, 1959 The Hidden Dimension , New York: Doubleday, 1966 Beyond Culture , New York: Doubleday, 1976 The Dance of Life , The Other Dimension of Time, New York: Doubleday, 1983 Hidden Differences: Studies in International Communication , Hamburg: Grunder & Jahr, 1983, 1984, 1985 Hidden Differences: Doing Business with the Japanese , Garden City, NY, Anchor Press / Doubleday, 1987 Understanding Cultural Differences, Germans, French and Americans , Yarmouth: Intercultural Press. 1990
Most of these publications can be ordered through Intercalcheral Press
Intercultural Press: PO Box 700, Yarmouth, ME 04096.

* * * *
Brian van der horst has been a professional trainer for 15 years. For the last 8 years he has lived and worked in Paris as director of Repere. Prior to that, he was a consultant at Stanford Research Institute, Strategic Environment Group, Values and Lifestyles Program, and was Director of the NLP Center for Advanced Studies in San Francisco. He has worked in journalism as editor for New Realities, Practical Psychology, Playboy and The Village Voice. He handled procurement as Gee's editor. Pi. JP Tarcher Books and Houghton-Mifflin, and also hosted a television program in San Francisco. Prior to that, he spent 10 years in the entertainment industry as vice president of the Cannon Group and director of advertising and PR at Atlantic Records .1 Culture is used here as a technical term used by social researchers for systems of creation, distribution, storage and processing of information created by people, distinguishing them from other forms of life, including beliefs, morality, customs, habits, art, science and traditions. The expressions "worldview", "world model" or "subjective reality" can be used synonymously. 2 George Santayana .3 This last paragraph was used as an epigraph for "The Emprint Method") and Know How ("Know How") Cameron-Bandler,
Van der horst bryan

 

[Carding 4 Carders]

NLP: completeness of perception​

Let's briefly go over the things that you already know about and smoothly move on to the new. So:

NLP is the way to think.
For the construction of buildings, bricks, cement, wood, and iron are usually used. But with these four things, you can build a huge number of buildings. But they will all be limited by the possibilities of these four things. So, architects are engaged in what can be built, but what to call those who are engaged in building materials and the construction itself? Builders, material scientists? NLP is not concerned with what to build, but HOW and from WHAT.

Modeling as a way of perceiving the world.
What NLP does is called modeling. This concept suggests that philosophical, religious, psychotherapeutic, physical, political, economic, mystical, etc. the ways of describing are not absolute, but represent models - various possible ways of perceiving this complex world. This is due both to the fact that we perceive this world not directly, but through the senses, and to the limitations of our consciousness.
I hope that you have already understood that from my subjective point of view, there is no absolutely objective opinion. That is why everything that is written here is sheer lies. But if for some time, just for fun, allow yourself to consider this view acceptable to yourself, then you may find that this gives quite definite possibilities.
There are models, descriptions that can help me in something and lead to some goal. If they can do this, then the model is considered effective in this context. However, as if something does not work out for you, it is simply considered that the model is not suitable for this situation.

Consciousness is limited.
I will not go into too much detail about indirect perception, but I will say a few words about the limitation of consciousness. At one time, psychologists and neurophysiologists, after they got tired of torturing rats, were able to determine in a series of experiments that 7 ± 2 units of information fit into consciousness. Therefore, if small things still fit in there quite easily in their usual form, then with larger ones you have to tinker and distort, generalize and exclude. Generally speaking, the world is a fairly large thing, if not immense, and it simply does not fit into consciousness entirely. We have to perform certain actions with him, as a result of which models appear: philosophical, religious, family, etc.

The map is a personal model of the world of each person.
As you may have guessed, each person has their own personal model of the world. This model contains everything that a person knows, as well as a way of relating to these things. This personal model is called a card. And this card indicates what is important and what is not important, what is right, what is wrong, what he wants in this life and what he does not want.

Maps can be changed.
But I would like to warn you against the idea that the map is something frozen and fixed once and for all. The world is changing, your perception of it is changing, your cards are changing.
Flexibility is the ability to easily change your own map.
Some people with great difficulty can change something in their representation, while others can easily adapt to changes in the world around them, change their map. This ability is called flexibility. Flexibility does not imply that you “change your mind during an argument,” it implies that by finding that your model of the world is ineffective, you can change it. And not bend thirty nails while trying to hang a painting on a reinforced concrete wall.
Consciousness filters incoming information.
But back to the limitations of consciousness. Since consciousness is not able to process everything that a person can perceive, it begins to sift and separate what is important to him from what it considers not important. This, as you remember, is determined by the map . You already know, for example, such a perception filter as the Sorting Gate .
One of the filters is the channels of perception.

A person has 5 senses: sight, hearing, sensation, taste and smell. NLP uses the following notation:
1. Visual (B). What we see. Images, pictures, movies.
2. Auditory (A). What we hear. Both speech and the whistle of the wind or the sound of dripping water. And, accordingly, intonation, timbre, voice pitch.
3. Kinesthetic (K) (From “kines” - “body” in Greek). What we feel. This also includes Smell and Taste. Sometimes it is good to divide Kinesthetics into 3 parts: tactile - skin sensations; internal - muscular, stomach sensation, warmth; meta-sensations - evaluative sensations that tell us about an attitude: joy, love, happiness, grief, etc. Meta-sensations are usually located in the chest area and sometimes capture the neck and head.

If we put everything together, we get:
1. Vision (visual system).
2. Hearing (auditory system)
3. Taste.
4. Smell.
5. Skin sensitivity (tactile sensations).
6. Internal - muscular, stomach sensation, warmth.
7. Meta-sensations - evaluative sensations.
Today we're going to tackle sensitivity. To some extent, what we will be doing can be called an expansion of perception - you will learn to pay attention to things that you have not only not paid attention to before, but even did not even imagine that it can be done.
Sensitivity is something like the quality of the receiver. If the receiver has a low sensitivity, you will mainly hear noise and two or three loudest radio stations. If the sensitivity is higher, then there is less noise, and more radio stations. A very good receiver with very high sensitivity picks up almost all radio stations and practically no noise. If your receiver is bad, you may not even imagine what else you can catch on the air, what radio stations and programs, and are forced to be content with only what you catch. But the higher your "class", the more your choice.
There is a wine taster competition. Suddenly, a peasant appears on the stage, seemingly an alcoholic, and promises to completely unmistakably determine what is in which glass. The commission is shocked. And they decided to harm him. They put a glass of urine of the chairwoman of the commission. The little man tried:
- Ivanova Maria Petrovna, 42 years old. Mira Street, 7, apartment 43. Not married, no children. Keeps the dog. Tell about the dog?
Each way of perception gives us a particle of the idea of the world around us, this is our first and main gate of perception. And if you look a little bit, any skill will be associated precisely with high sensory sensitivity - the ability to make subtle differences within one or several channels.
Walt Disney, the famous cartoonist, could distinguish almost ten times more shades of any color than the average person. A good French winemaker will determine by taste not only the variety, but also the year and place of wine production (of course, if it is not a Russian bottled port). I think you will not argue if I say that any good musician must have a very fine ear. And so in almost all areas. Even a turner or locksmith must have a very good feel for his machine and part in order to get a high result. And an experienced mother, by the cry of her baby, determines what he specifically wants: to drink, eat, write, sleep, or something hurts him.
If we continue the description of perception as a filter, then we can say that you are invited to move from this perception.

On the one hand, it would be good to somewhat equalize the ratio of channel capacities, on the other, to expand the perception of each specific channel.
You are kind of invited to learn to see, hear and feel what may have passed by you before, to expand your ability to perceive. The most important things in this world are connected, first of all, with the subtlest differences. And any skill, I repeat, will be associated with a very high sensitivity.
Returning to the limitations of our perception, we can note the following - the more you notice subtle differences in one channel, the less you will distinguish in others at the moment. If you start right now, for example, to listen to the sounds around you, to rustles, distant knocks, your own breathing, some kind of hum, then you will pay much less attention to what you see and feel. At least consciously. And when it comes to developing sensitivity, it means being able to tune all your channels and make that tuning as fine as necessary. The ability to see the general landscape or thousands of shades of birch leaves, to hear, as it were, all the noises around, or to discern the subtlest shades of voice intonations ...
Expanded perception is the ability to control your own perception so that you notice everything that you need. The art of filtering out unnecessary things and finding the smallest details. This is primarily art, since it is possible to develop it only by investing your own soul, individuality. There are no identical masters, they all differ, they all even seem to do the same things in their own way. Every good chef is good in his own way, and every good artist paints in his own way and sees the world in his own way.
It is a very high art to pay attention to what others are missing, to notice things that are inaccessible to others. Although, probably, this is generally a property of individuality, because each person has his own perception. So let's try to expand this perception as much as possible.
And, moving on to communication, we can say that a good communicator is, first of all, a person with a very subtle perception. He is able to notice the smallest changes in the timbre of the voice, intonation, movement, facial expressions - everything that gives him additional knowledge about the interlocutor. This is a high art, great skill - the ability to communicate.
And for now, you are simply offered exercises to expand your perception, to develop each channel. First of all, I recommend tackling the channel that you have the least developed. Usually people prefer and develop only one channel more, although this does not mean that they have good sensitivity there. This channel is more developed only in comparison with the others, and if compared with what it could be ...
Exercises.

Synesthesia.

1. Color field.
Pick some color - yellow, blue, red, purple ... Imagine a space filled with this color. Nothing but him, just color.

2. Sounds.
Now mentally enter this space, immerse yourself in this color. Try to hear what sounds, melodies, intonations “accompany” this color. It is desirable that there be no content - words, phrases, etc. Listen to these sounds, allowing them to become as loud and clear as possible.

3. Feelings.
Now pay attention to your inner sensations that accompany these sounds and colors. Where in the body is this sensation most conscious? Where does it originate and in which direction is it moving? Try to feel it as much as possible ...

4. New color.
Repeat this whole process with a different color or shade: field of color, sounds, feelings ... Continue until you have explored at least 7 colors.
You can also start with a “pure” sound or “pure” sensation, determining which images correspond to this, and so on.

Overlay.
This technique helps you build and develop your overall sensory sensitivity.
First, you take the channel that you have best worked out and represent something in that channel. When you have done that as well as possible, supplement the performance in the next most developed channel and end with the channel in which you are least able to navigate so far.

For example: B - A - K
You can imagine, for example, a birch: what it looks like, its white trunk with black markings, green leaves, darker branches ...
When you do, try to hear the rustle of its leaves, hear the wind rustle ...
Now imagine what a birch is to the touch: the coolness of its trunk, the roughness of the bark, the smell of its foliage ...
That is, you are sort of completing the perception, starting with the most developed channel.
At least 7 times.

"Journey into the past".
By the way, our memory acts in approximately the same way: it starts with the most memorable thing and then complements the description.
Remember some of your children's toys as brightly and clearly as possible, what it feels like, how it smells, what sounds it makes ...
Imagine holding it in your hands, feel its weight.
Now try to look around - most likely, you will find yourself in some event from your past, and you will be able to see what surrounded you, hear voices and feel small ...
At least 3 times.

Visual channel.
If you think you need a little more visual sensitivity training, then do some more exercises.
What is suggested in this exercise is one of the general approaches to how to develop sensitivity in the channel. But since here we are dealing with vision, the explanation will concern it, and about A and K - a little below.

Realize the differences.
Usually we are not aware of how we get the result. Something like in a store - the cashier clicks on the machine, it buzzes and issues a receipt with the result. From what this result came out, we do not even know. Likewise, with our perception - we get the result of some kind of calculation carried out by the unconscious, but how it is received, very often we are not aware. And in most cases we do not notice the result itself, although the subconscious is persistently trying to reach out to our own consciousness with its result.
It is in this exercise that you are invited to practice being aware of what is happening inside us, from which the result is composed.

How are these two letters different? Find at least 3 differences (that is, you can 5, you can 20, but 2 or 1 is not possible) and list them. Usually we notice that two things differ from each other (result), but what exactly is not clear. So try to train your sensitivity and attentiveness, and determine how exactly these two letters "A" differ from each other?
You might as well work with different handwritings - how exactly do they differ? The most important thing here is to clearly list these specific differences, at least to talk to yourself, or even better to write.
At least 5 times.

Visual recollection.
Another way to develop the visual channel is to train visual memory. Take a few objects, arrange them in random order, look for a few seconds at what happened, close your eyes and try to imagine what you see as vividly and clearly as you can. Then open your eyes and compare with what is in front of you. And so on until you are able to imagine all the objects.
The same can be done with:
1) photographs from the magazine;
2) scattered matches;
3) laid out playing cards;
4) cards with letters;
5) and much more.
It is good to train visual memory on faces - we looked at a person for a few seconds, tried to present him as clearly and clearly as possible, then compared with the original. Once again presented, once again compared. And so on until the maximum resemblance of the "portrait" to the original. Try to remember the smallest details (but not speaking, but visually) - skin color, moles, hairs - everything that you can notice.
This also includes working with images from memory. Try to visually recall a lamppost in front of the house, a tree, a photo in yesterday's newspaper, a toy from your childhood - try to make the image as clear, sharp and detailed as possible.
At least 7 times.

Visual design.
One of the important things you can do in the visual channel is fantasizing, creating images that you've never seen before. Try to imagine:
1. A pink elephant with green peas.
2. How would you look with purple eyes?
3. What would your neighbor with bright green hair look like?
4. And bald?
5. What does the negative of a photograph look like?
6. What about an oak covered with tomatoes?
7. How would your neighbor dancing lambada look like?
I think that you have enough imagination to come up with many completely amazing things, the most important thing is that you can clearly distinguish these images, consider them.
At least 7 times.

Audio channel.

Inner voices.
Here are some exercises you can do at home to build your listening channel.
You can train your Auditory Sensitivity by detecting differences in internal voices. We usually do not notice that when we talk to ourselves, we are talking in different voices. But how exactly do they differ? Try to practice and find these differences, again at least three - that is, more is possible, and less is better not needed.
So what a voice.
1.higher, lower;
2. louder, quieter;
3. the direction from which it is heard;
4. the sound source is closer, further away;
5. what is his pace;
6.what is the rhythm;
7. ...

For example:
I have a voice that speaks about the problems that may arise if I do something. I called him “Skeptic”. And there is one that talks about how cool it will be if I do it, “Enthusiast”. And then there is a voice that offers to do something completely unusual and funny - "Joker".
The Skeptic's voice is deaf, slow and somewhat monotonous, coming from somewhere to the left.
And the Enthusiast is fast, loud (louder than the Skeptic), goes behind and is high enough.
The Joker's voice is quiet, but high-pitched, as if for a child, speaks at a very fast pace and from somewhere below.
This is a very good exercise for awareness of internal processes, for the ability to determine what is happening inside us. Keep in mind that how we perceive the world is closely related to how it is presented within us, and by training our inner perception, we train our outer perception as well.
At least 3 times.

Listen to music.
You all listen to music. And try to learn how to control your own perception a little and highlight:
1. guitar;
2. soloist;
3. drummer;
4.bass guitar;
5. keyboards;
6. flute ...
That is, your task is to make the rest of the instruments and sounds "background", and listen as if only this instrument.

Or, when you are in a place where everyone is talking about their own (at a party, for example), practice distinguishing between individual voices and sounds and concentrating on them. For example, you are on a bus and take turns highlighting:
1. Motor noise.
2. Rustle of tires.
3. Conversation behind the back: a man and a woman. The man's voice is low and hoarse, the woman's is higher and faster.
4. Two guys are talking in the far corner. One's voice is thinner, almost falsetto, the other is somewhat quieter and slower.
5. Sounds of cars outside the window.
6. The whistle of the wind.
At least 3 times.

Recall a melody (auditory memory).
Try to remember and listen inside yourself (not sing or speak, but remember how it sounds)
1. Song.
2. A melody.
3. A piece of music.
4. Conversation.
5. ...
Try to recreate everything as accurately as possible, all shades of sound or voice. You can mentally scroll several times, each time you get better and better. You just need to practice.
In another version, you scroll a melody or a recording of a conversation on a tape recorder (you can in small pieces), and then try to listen to it mentally. Then you listen again, and again try to reproduce in your head. If you're starting to get good at it, make the memorable pieces bigger or take on a complex orchestral piece. In the latter case, try to hear all the instruments within yourself.
When you are good at this too, you can combine this exercise with the previous one - remembering a melody, highlight a separate instrument or voice, depending on what you are listening to.
At least 7 times.

Auditory construction.
Now let's practice coming up with something of our own. Imagine:
1. How would your friend (s) tell the poem "There is a bull, swinging ..." (or any other that you have not heard in his performance).
2. How does a flute sound to the sound of the sea.
3. What is your last name pronounced backwards.

Once you're good at this, you can try:
1. As your friend reads the same poem when he was sad, fun, interesting, joyful, it is surprised or excited .
2.Add instruments - how a small symphony orchestra sounds to the sound of the sea.
3. How your friends pronounce your and their last name backwards.
Try not to hum or say to yourself here, but rather to hear in your head. But this is how anyone succeeds ...
At least 5 times.

Kinesthetics. Skin sensitivity.

"Awareness".
Take a few pieces of cloth and try to determine how they differ. That being said, it is advisable that you list these differences clearly. Remember not to describe the experience, but how it was received. The material alone is not more pleasant , but soft and warm to the touch.
How fabrics can differ:
1.thick or thin;
2.soft or hard;
3.smooth or fleecy;
4. dense or loose;
5.silky or rough;
6.by the type of weaving, etc.
You can work not only with pieces of fabric or various pieces of clothing (shirt, sweater, T-shirt, sock ...), but also with various pieces of paper or pieces of wood.
At least 7 times.

"Choice".
Take 5-6 pieces of different paper of the same size, more or less similar to each other, and try to identify them without looking. To do this, you can write numbers on them.
At least 7 times.

“Playing in the Blind”.
Take a small pinch of grains of several types: millet, buckwheat, rice, poppy, - what you can find, the main thing is that the whole pile fits freely under one finger. Try with your eyes closed to say how many grains are now under your finger, but without touching them, not counting them one by one, but determining immediately by touch.
It is okay to distinguish between 1 and 7.

"The game of cheats."
Take a few pieces of thick paper and number them by pricking or scratching the number with a needle. Try geometric shapes or a different number of dots as well.

"Paints".
Likewise, take 4-5 pieces of the same paper and paint them with different types of paints: pencil, pen, felt-tip pen, gouache. Your task is to identify them by touch.

Kinesthetics. Internal sensations.

"Awareness".
As you remember, internal sensations include sensations within the muscles, as well as in the stomach or bladder.
Think of a few inner feelings and try to describe them in terms of:
1.warm - cold;
2. trembling, vibration;
3.pulling / pressing feeling;
4. direction to / from;
5. stands still - moves;
At least 20 minutes.

"Weighing".
For this exercise, it is desirable to have more or less accurate scales. You put an item in your bag and try to determine its weight. And then you check on the scales - how accurate you are.

Pulse.
Try to feel the pulse in your right thumb. If it is difficult, you can first rub your finger or press it to some surface.
Now try to feel the pulse in sequence:
1. In the index finger of the right hand.
2. Average.
3. In the nameless.
4. In the little finger.
5. In the thumb of the left hand.
6. In the middle of the palm of the left hand.
7. Now try to pass it from the palm of your left hand to the palm of your right, through your hand, shoulders so that there is no jump. And so that the sensation of the pulse does not spread, but goes in the form of a small area the size of a coin.
8. Pass the pulse from the right hand along the right side to the index finger of the right foot.
9. You can drive it all over your body for a long time.

Kinesthetics. Meta-sensations.
Think of an emotion or feeling and try to describe it in terms of:
1. Quality: tingling, warmth, cold, vibration, relaxation, tension ...
2. warm - cold;
3. trembling, vibration;
4. pulling sensation;
5. stands still - moves;
6. direction to / from;
Sadness is a warm pulling sensation in the shoulders, vibration in the front in the middle of the body, but not on the surface of the skin, but inside. It starts somewhere in the throat and spreads down to the solar plexus. And this sensation is, perhaps, warm, and the vibration is shallow.
Keep in mind that meta-sensations tend to originate in one place, then move around and become permanent in another. So you can try scrolling them backwards and see what happens.
At least 7 emotions.

Kinesthetics. Taste, Smell.
For training to increase the sensitivity of taste and smell, it is possible to recommend so far only a purposeful immersion in the state of “only taste” or “only smell”.
Try to focus as much as possible on the smells that surround you, on their subtle shades. Imagine that you are a dog for whom the sense of smell is the most important of the senses. The whole world is smells, smells, smells. And you are among them, you are immersed in this world of fragrances, where every thing, every person, every object has its own unique shade of smell, its own exclusive and unique to it ...
At least 20 minutes.

In short ...
1. A person constantly filters information from the outside world.
2. One of the most important filters is the channels of perception: vision (visual channel), hearing (auditory channel) and feelings (kinesthetic channel).
3. Any skill is associated with high sensory sensitivity.
4. Expanded perception is the ability to control your own perception so that you notice everything that you need.
5. A good communicator is a person with a very subtle perception.