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Shalom, running in the shadows! Hello, random subscriber. One of the features of the DarkNet is schemes for earning money in various ways (legal, semi-legal and completely illegal). And in order to be active not only on the web, but also on realife, you need to have charisma, intelligence, knowledge of human psychology and nature, as well as have a decent level of communication skills. This article is to help those who have firmly decided that they will make money on suckers.
Go:
1. Remember names
A proper name for any person is the most pleasant combination of sounds. So why not play on it? Remember people's names and use them. The famous psychologist Dale Carnegie was sure that this technique is guaranteed to increase the number of fans.
2. Control your emotions
Technology is gradually replacing live human communication. But people still remain quite social creatures, for which it is important to show emotions.
We subconsciously choose the person who is most emotionally close to us and who does not cause rejection by their behavior as an interlocutor. It often happens that the speakers somehow catch the general mood, and then adjust to each other.
If you want to make a positive impression on someone or make someone's day a little better, then try to control your mood so that you can share only positive emotions with others.
3. Use nonverbal means of communication
Learn to listen. And not just with your ears. Try to show the person that the conversation is really important to you, using non-verbal means of communication:
4. Practice active listening
The ability to listen carefully to the other person is very important for maintaining a constructive conversation. You will be much more liked by others if you focus on maintaining the conversation, and not on something else. Try to learn the technique of active listening to demonstrate how attentive you can be to the other person.
The most common techniques of active listening:
5. Provide feedback
To let the person know that you really care about them, bring up a topic that was discussed with them earlier.
Did your colleague mention that his son will have a matinee over the weekend? Ask them to tell you how it went. Did your friend say that he was going to rearrange the furniture and repaint the kitchen with a new color this weekend? Ask them what came out of it and if they like the result.
You don't always need to discuss some very important and global topics. Life consists of many small and insignificant at first glance events. Attention and interest in them gives rise to conversations. People are pleased and flattered when someone asks about the details of their life.
6. Don't skimp on praise
Real praise is very different from gross flattery, which is very easy to recognize. Remember: no one likes sycophants.
7. Criticize constructively and to the point
Be generous with praise, but don't get carried away with criticism. People are extremely vulnerable. Even not very offensive words can greatly hurt self-esteem. Sometimes you can't do without criticism. Remember that in these cases, it should be constructive and not carry a negative connotation. If someone makes a mistake, don't scold them in public. Be tactful and considerate.
Use the "sandwich" technique. Its essence is that any critical review is built according to the following scheme: praise, criticism, praise.
Bad example: Lisa, you have such beautiful hair, but unfortunately, your report was just disgusting. By the way, where did you buy this amazing sweater?
A good example: The report you sent me looks very impressive. Good job, just a cursory look at it made me seem to notice a few errors. I may be wrong, of course, but it would be nice to check it out. By the way, I forgot to mention: the last post on Facebook that you wrote about our company has such a large coverage that it can not but rejoice.
The goal of criticism should be for the other person to admit their mistakes on their own, without your direct reference to them. In the example we discussed above, you could simply say: "Again, you have some ridiculous errors in the report. Fix them at last." And just wait for a response.
A person will definitely begin to apologize and vow to improve. Don't take it for granted. Try to encourage them: tell them that they shouldn't worry, convince them that they will definitely acquire the necessary skill and that you won't have similar problems in the future. The less you poke at the error with your finger, the better.
8. Don't order, but offer
Few people like to be spoken to in a commanding tone and forced to do not the most pleasant things. But what about those situations when you really need something from a person?
You can get what you want just by asking the right questions. The result will be exactly the same, but the person will not feel humiliated and insulted.
Bad example: Ivan, I definitely need these reports today. And hurry up!
A good example: Ivan, tell me, will you have time to deal with this report before tonight? I would really appreciate it!
The difference seems obvious.
9. Be a real person, not a robot
Self-confidence makes a person more attractive to others. But here it is important to keep a balance and not start to seem cocky and pompous to everyone. You should have the character and inner core, but do not go too far.
To make others like you, be honest with them. Don't go out of your way to try to appear like the person you're not. People quickly recognize a fake. It's hard to be nice to someone you can't trust.
Be consistent. If you want to appear like someone you can rely on, then make sure that others around you will treat them well, regardless of your mood.
Watch how you behave and serve. Forget about arrogance and arrogance, try to help people as much as possible.
10. Master storytelling
People love fascinating stories, so try to become a good storyteller. Storytelling is a special art form that requires skill. You will need to learn how to correctly formulate your thoughts, focus on the most interesting points, follow your speech and not tire your interlocutors. Learn to hold and attract people's attention, then they will start to reach out to you.
11. Don't get distracted by your phone
If you are communicating with someone, then put your smartphone away. Nothing distracts from the conversation as much as constantly glancing at the screen during a conversation, as well as the sounds of incoming messages and notifications. This makes it difficult to concentrate on the conversation and is quite annoying.
12. Don't be afraid to ask for advice
This seems to be one of the easiest ways to get people to like you.[/B] When you ask for advice, you show the person that their opinion is important and valuable to you. You show that you respect him.
When you give a person the opportunity to feel important and significant, when they realize that you can't cope without their help, they begin to feel sympathy for you.
13. Avoid cliches
Let's be honest: no one likes boring people. They are predictable to the point of yawning and terribly uninteresting. We most often like bright, unusual, original and sometimes even quirky people.
A commonplace example: imagine that you are interviewing someone. Instead of saying the catchphrase "It was nice meeting you" at the end, try making some adjustments. Instead, say," I really enjoyed talking to you, "or"I'm glad we finally got to know each other better."
No need to reinvent the wheel — be yourself and show your imagination.
[B14. Ask questions[/B
Take an interest in the lives of the people you want to build a good relationship with.] Ask them about their interests, hobbies, books they read, and movies they watch. This is an unmistakable way to win attention.
People are self-centered and like to talk about themselves the most. If you allow the other person this small weakness, they will subconsciously mark you as an exceptionally pleasant person.
15. Be objective
No one wants to deal with a person who has finally and irrevocably driven something into his head and is not ready to change his mind. If you want others to like you, be open-minded. To get rid of biases, try to look at the world differently: listen to the opinions of others, compare them with your own, and try to come up with some compromise solution.
Something like that, tramps, scammers and scammers, future cyberstalkers running in the shadows. You can't go anywhere without communication skills. Neither to negotiate with the cops, nor to divorce someone, nor to ask for a C grade from the teacher on a failed exam. We are studying it. We take it into service.
Go:
1. Remember names
A proper name for any person is the most pleasant combination of sounds. So why not play on it? Remember people's names and use them. The famous psychologist Dale Carnegie was sure that this technique is guaranteed to increase the number of fans.
Do not repeat the person's name literally through every word. Instead, try to remember it right away when you meet someone and then apply it when you want to start a conversation.
2. Control your emotions
Technology is gradually replacing live human communication. But people still remain quite social creatures, for which it is important to show emotions.
We subconsciously choose the person who is most emotionally close to us and who does not cause rejection by their behavior as an interlocutor. It often happens that the speakers somehow catch the general mood, and then adjust to each other.
If you want to make a positive impression on someone or make someone's day a little better, then try to control your mood so that you can share only positive emotions with others.
3. Use nonverbal means of communication
Learn to listen. And not just with your ears. Try to show the person that the conversation is really important to you, using non-verbal means of communication:
- Mirror the other person-copy their posture or manner of speech, but don't get too carried away, otherwise they may think you're mimicking them.
- Keep eye contact - no one likes to have a conversation with someone who is looking the wrong way. It's not clear if he's actually listening, or if he's preoccupied with his own thoughts.
- Nod, smile, and gesture in moderation.
4. Practice active listening
The ability to listen carefully to the other person is very important for maintaining a constructive conversation. You will be much more liked by others if you focus on maintaining the conversation, and not on something else. Try to learn the technique of active listening to demonstrate how attentive you can be to the other person.
The most common techniques of active listening:
- Paraphrase -a short repetition of what the other person said in their own words.
- Clarification - find out and refine additional details of the story to present the situation in the most complete and detailed way.
- A perception message is a verbal demonstration to the other person that you understand them. The phrases "I understand how hard it is for you", "I can imagine how you feel right now" and other similar ones will do.
- Pauses show the other person that you are carefully considering and rethinking their words.
5. Provide feedback
To let the person know that you really care about them, bring up a topic that was discussed with them earlier.
Did your colleague mention that his son will have a matinee over the weekend? Ask them to tell you how it went. Did your friend say that he was going to rearrange the furniture and repaint the kitchen with a new color this weekend? Ask them what came out of it and if they like the result.
You don't always need to discuss some very important and global topics. Life consists of many small and insignificant at first glance events. Attention and interest in them gives rise to conversations. People are pleased and flattered when someone asks about the details of their life.
6. Don't skimp on praise
Real praise is very different from gross flattery, which is very easy to recognize. Remember: no one likes sycophants.
Sincere admiration for the work done conscientiously, the realization that the efforts made are noticed and appreciated - this is what people really want to hear. Do not skimp on words and praise sincerely.
7. Criticize constructively and to the point
Be generous with praise, but don't get carried away with criticism. People are extremely vulnerable. Even not very offensive words can greatly hurt self-esteem. Sometimes you can't do without criticism. Remember that in these cases, it should be constructive and not carry a negative connotation. If someone makes a mistake, don't scold them in public. Be tactful and considerate.
Use the "sandwich" technique. Its essence is that any critical review is built according to the following scheme: praise, criticism, praise.
Bad example: Lisa, you have such beautiful hair, but unfortunately, your report was just disgusting. By the way, where did you buy this amazing sweater?
A good example: The report you sent me looks very impressive. Good job, just a cursory look at it made me seem to notice a few errors. I may be wrong, of course, but it would be nice to check it out. By the way, I forgot to mention: the last post on Facebook that you wrote about our company has such a large coverage that it can not but rejoice.
The goal of criticism should be for the other person to admit their mistakes on their own, without your direct reference to them. In the example we discussed above, you could simply say: "Again, you have some ridiculous errors in the report. Fix them at last." And just wait for a response.
A person will definitely begin to apologize and vow to improve. Don't take it for granted. Try to encourage them: tell them that they shouldn't worry, convince them that they will definitely acquire the necessary skill and that you won't have similar problems in the future. The less you poke at the error with your finger, the better.
You can also use other tactics: before pointing out someone's mistakes, first tell them about all the mistakes that you have made or are making in the course of your work. And only then move on to the shortcomings of someone else.
8. Don't order, but offer
Few people like to be spoken to in a commanding tone and forced to do not the most pleasant things. But what about those situations when you really need something from a person?
You can get what you want just by asking the right questions. The result will be exactly the same, but the person will not feel humiliated and insulted.
Bad example: Ivan, I definitely need these reports today. And hurry up!
A good example: Ivan, tell me, will you have time to deal with this report before tonight? I would really appreciate it!
The difference seems obvious.
9. Be a real person, not a robot
Self-confidence makes a person more attractive to others. But here it is important to keep a balance and not start to seem cocky and pompous to everyone. You should have the character and inner core, but do not go too far.
To make others like you, be honest with them. Don't go out of your way to try to appear like the person you're not. People quickly recognize a fake. It's hard to be nice to someone you can't trust.
Be consistent. If you want to appear like someone you can rely on, then make sure that others around you will treat them well, regardless of your mood.
Watch how you behave and serve. Forget about arrogance and arrogance, try to help people as much as possible.
10. Master storytelling
People love fascinating stories, so try to become a good storyteller. Storytelling is a special art form that requires skill. You will need to learn how to correctly formulate your thoughts, focus on the most interesting points, follow your speech and not tire your interlocutors. Learn to hold and attract people's attention, then they will start to reach out to you.
11. Don't get distracted by your phone
If you are communicating with someone, then put your smartphone away. Nothing distracts from the conversation as much as constantly glancing at the screen during a conversation, as well as the sounds of incoming messages and notifications. This makes it difficult to concentrate on the conversation and is quite annoying.
Focus on the content of the conversation. Your phone won't go anywhere, but a human can.
12. Don't be afraid to ask for advice
This seems to be one of the easiest ways to get people to like you.[/B] When you ask for advice, you show the person that their opinion is important and valuable to you. You show that you respect him.
When you give a person the opportunity to feel important and significant, when they realize that you can't cope without their help, they begin to feel sympathy for you.
13. Avoid cliches
Let's be honest: no one likes boring people. They are predictable to the point of yawning and terribly uninteresting. We most often like bright, unusual, original and sometimes even quirky people.
A commonplace example: imagine that you are interviewing someone. Instead of saying the catchphrase "It was nice meeting you" at the end, try making some adjustments. Instead, say," I really enjoyed talking to you, "or"I'm glad we finally got to know each other better."
No need to reinvent the wheel — be yourself and show your imagination.
[B14. Ask questions[/B
Take an interest in the lives of the people you want to build a good relationship with.] Ask them about their interests, hobbies, books they read, and movies they watch. This is an unmistakable way to win attention.
People are self-centered and like to talk about themselves the most. If you allow the other person this small weakness, they will subconsciously mark you as an exceptionally pleasant person.
15. Be objective
No one wants to deal with a person who has finally and irrevocably driven something into his head and is not ready to change his mind. If you want others to like you, be open-minded. To get rid of biases, try to look at the world differently: listen to the opinions of others, compare them with your own, and try to come up with some compromise solution.
Something like that, tramps, scammers and scammers, future cyberstalkers running in the shadows. You can't go anywhere without communication skills. Neither to negotiate with the cops, nor to divorce someone, nor to ask for a C grade from the teacher on a failed exam. We are studying it. We take it into service.
