So how do you know that you have changed?
You have become more likely to abandon your innocence if it is not effective.
There is a brilliant phrase: "The pedestrian was right, but dead." Of course, it's always a pleasure to be Right. This is so pleasing to the ego. But our righteousness in most cases is not effective at all.
I have a friend who is sure: “Talent is inherent in every person from birth. And you need to find him. "And for 10 years now she has been in search of her talent, jumping from book to book, from training to training. And she believes she's right. And I believe that talent does not exist and that you just need to figure it out in any direction. And everything will definitely come!
And the paradox of the world is that no one knows how everything really works. No one has a monopoly on truth. But if your assessment “You have to look for your talent until the end of your life” is ineffective, then you should easily part with it. Otherwise, you can be “right” and unfulfilled until the end of your life.
Question:
At what point this year did you give up being “right” because it wasn't effective?
You began to make a choice proceeding from "It is important for me", and not "I want"
Recently, a friend of mine said: "If people did only what they wanted, we would all kill each other and crush ... I mean, we would have slept with each other." I don't know about the first one, but I think the second would be hard to refuse.
There is "I want", and there is "It is important for me." One of my acquaintances began to play sports regularly at the age of 35. He said: “I just had a son. And it is important for me that in 15 years, when I will be 50, and my son 15, I would be able to play football with him on equal terms. I can't say what I want and feel the buzz to run every morning when it's minus 15 degrees outside and snow is flying in my face. But "It is important to me" wins "I want."
Question:
What things have you done this year on the basis of “It is important to me” and not from “I want”?
But by suppressing our emotions and feelings, we block a huge amount of energy. And the smartest thing is to allow yourself to sometimes let your monsters go for a walk. True, to do this is as environmentally friendly as possible for yourself and other people.
Question:
What dark sides of yours did you accept this year and stop fighting them? How do you release your "monsters" for a walk?
You are not hurt by the things that used to hurt you
Recently I heard a cool thought that it is impossible to offend a person. One can only be offended. "Xia" is a suffix, the full version of which is "Me". That is, to be offended is to “offend yourself”.
If we are not confident in ourselves, then we are easily "hurt". And the things that we are sure of do not bother us. For example, if you tell a very thin person that he is "fat", it will not hurt him in any way (unless he himself, of course, thinks so). And if you tell a mother who doesn’t devote time to her children that she “neglected the children,” she will most likely be offended.
When we change, the things that touched us before stop moving us. If you are no longer worried about words that were previously unpleasant, then congratulations - you have solved some internal problem.
Question:
What words that were previously unpleasant have stopped hurting you this year?
You have become bolder
Recently I held a New Year's webinar, at which I asked those present: "Why did you not achieve what you wanted in the past year?" And most of the answers boiled down to a simple thing: "I didn't want to take risks."
Risk is a broad concept. You can risk your reputation, your money, your habits. But who does not risk, he ... below I will give a different interpretation of this phrase.
I was returning from Rome not so long ago. On the plane I met the girl Lena. She was married to an Italian for 7 years. She says she didn't love him, but simply got married, because “it was necessary”. They had no children.
And now, 30 days before our meeting, she met on social networks with a guy Vanya from a village near Rostov-on-Don. And in exactly one month Lena filed for divorce, packed her things, dropped everything and flew to her Vanya, never seeing him live.
When I wrote about it on social media, people began to react in different ways. Someone accused Lena that her roof went off and that "you cannot move to a person if you have not seen him." Others supported Lena.
But I only know one thing: there are no guarantees in life. Perhaps she and Vanya will live for a couple of years, and then Lena will again go to the Italian. And, perhaps, they will be happy for the rest of their lives.
When we got off the plane, Lena said: “I understand everything. From the outside it seems that I am crazy. But who does not take risks, he not only does not drink champagne, he does not drink nichrome at all!".
Golden words, Lena! As the Canadian hockey player Wayne Gretzky romantically expressed this idea: "Of those shots that you did not make, 100% - wide of the net."
Question:
How and what did you risk this year?
You have become more likely to abandon your innocence if it is not effective.
There is a brilliant phrase: "The pedestrian was right, but dead." Of course, it's always a pleasure to be Right. This is so pleasing to the ego. But our righteousness in most cases is not effective at all.
I have a friend who is sure: “Talent is inherent in every person from birth. And you need to find him. "And for 10 years now she has been in search of her talent, jumping from book to book, from training to training. And she believes she's right. And I believe that talent does not exist and that you just need to figure it out in any direction. And everything will definitely come!
And the paradox of the world is that no one knows how everything really works. No one has a monopoly on truth. But if your assessment “You have to look for your talent until the end of your life” is ineffective, then you should easily part with it. Otherwise, you can be “right” and unfulfilled until the end of your life.
Question:
At what point this year did you give up being “right” because it wasn't effective?
You began to make a choice proceeding from "It is important for me", and not "I want"
Recently, a friend of mine said: "If people did only what they wanted, we would all kill each other and crush ... I mean, we would have slept with each other." I don't know about the first one, but I think the second would be hard to refuse.
There is "I want", and there is "It is important for me." One of my acquaintances began to play sports regularly at the age of 35. He said: “I just had a son. And it is important for me that in 15 years, when I will be 50, and my son 15, I would be able to play football with him on equal terms. I can't say what I want and feel the buzz to run every morning when it's minus 15 degrees outside and snow is flying in my face. But "It is important to me" wins "I want."
Question:
What things have you done this year on the basis of “It is important to me” and not from “I want”?
You took your "dark" side
Every person is like the moon - we have both a light and a dark side. We were taught to suppress the "dark" side from childhood. Remember “Be a Good Girl,” “Don't Upset Mom,” and all that?But by suppressing our emotions and feelings, we block a huge amount of energy. And the smartest thing is to allow yourself to sometimes let your monsters go for a walk. True, to do this is as environmentally friendly as possible for yourself and other people.
Question:
What dark sides of yours did you accept this year and stop fighting them? How do you release your "monsters" for a walk?
You are not hurt by the things that used to hurt you
Recently I heard a cool thought that it is impossible to offend a person. One can only be offended. "Xia" is a suffix, the full version of which is "Me". That is, to be offended is to “offend yourself”.
If we are not confident in ourselves, then we are easily "hurt". And the things that we are sure of do not bother us. For example, if you tell a very thin person that he is "fat", it will not hurt him in any way (unless he himself, of course, thinks so). And if you tell a mother who doesn’t devote time to her children that she “neglected the children,” she will most likely be offended.
When we change, the things that touched us before stop moving us. If you are no longer worried about words that were previously unpleasant, then congratulations - you have solved some internal problem.
Question:
What words that were previously unpleasant have stopped hurting you this year?
You have become bolder
Recently I held a New Year's webinar, at which I asked those present: "Why did you not achieve what you wanted in the past year?" And most of the answers boiled down to a simple thing: "I didn't want to take risks."
Risk is a broad concept. You can risk your reputation, your money, your habits. But who does not risk, he ... below I will give a different interpretation of this phrase.
I was returning from Rome not so long ago. On the plane I met the girl Lena. She was married to an Italian for 7 years. She says she didn't love him, but simply got married, because “it was necessary”. They had no children.
And now, 30 days before our meeting, she met on social networks with a guy Vanya from a village near Rostov-on-Don. And in exactly one month Lena filed for divorce, packed her things, dropped everything and flew to her Vanya, never seeing him live.
When I wrote about it on social media, people began to react in different ways. Someone accused Lena that her roof went off and that "you cannot move to a person if you have not seen him." Others supported Lena.
But I only know one thing: there are no guarantees in life. Perhaps she and Vanya will live for a couple of years, and then Lena will again go to the Italian. And, perhaps, they will be happy for the rest of their lives.
When we got off the plane, Lena said: “I understand everything. From the outside it seems that I am crazy. But who does not take risks, he not only does not drink champagne, he does not drink nichrome at all!".
Golden words, Lena! As the Canadian hockey player Wayne Gretzky romantically expressed this idea: "Of those shots that you did not make, 100% - wide of the net."
Question:
How and what did you risk this year?
