Why is it so difficult for us to change ourselves?

[Teacher]

Dissatisfaction with oneself is a common ailment. Many people want to get rid of bad habits, lose weight, become smarter, healthier, more successful, and focused. People set goals for themselves and try to change. But after several unsuccessful attempts, everything returns to normal. Why it happens is almost a rhetorical question. Some people blame a lack of willpower, others - a lack of motivation.

IDEAS Maxwell Moltz:

1. The image of one's own "I" determines the thoughts, feelings, actions, success or failure of a person

While working as a plastic surgeon, Maxwell Moltz noticed that some people, having got rid of physical disabilities with the help of plastic surgery, begin to live a happy life, while others continue to suffer and look for imperfections in themselves.

Dr. Moltz realized that eliminating physical defects alone cannot make life better. A person changed only when, in addition to appearance, something else also changed.

But what has changed?

Maxwell Moltz discovered that the basis of all actions, thoughts, feelings of a person is the image of his own "I". And if this image is negative, then no positive changes are possible, since the person is internally confident that he does not deserve these positive changes.

2. To understand how to change life for the better, you need to learn how the image of your own "I" is formed

Where did someone who considers themselves a failure get their current image? It was formed under the influence of those actions, words, sensations that this person remembered and which allowed him to classify himself as a failure.

Already having an image of his own "I", a person filters information and seeks confirmation of his opinion. If the information agrees with this opinion, then he perceives it, and if not, then discards it, regardless of how much it corresponds to reality. So a person during his life accumulates information about himself, creating a portrait of his own “I” and strengthening in his convictions. By the way, such selectivity of the human mind has indeed been confirmed by recent scientific experiments, which explains the nature of many mental traps.

3. You need to be convinced of the value of your personality and give up your previous false beliefs

Self-misconception does not arise from what is happening to us, but from how we interpret what is happening. Often we approach ourselves with unrealistic standards, and this makes us feel like a second-class person. But there is no single standard for all. Every person is unique. Therefore, it makes no sense to measure yourself by someone else's yardsticks.

It is the understanding of oneself and the awareness of one's own worth as a unique personality that becomes the key to real self-confidence, which is necessary for any positive changes.

4. Change needs a purpose

Each person has what the author calls a creative mechanism - a subconscious automatic system for achieving goals. In fact, these are the forces of our subconscious mind that do the work while the mind does not control them. It is thanks to this mechanism that a person who has worked on some problem for a long time, and then put it aside, attends an unexpected insight, like Newton, who saw a falling apple while relaxing in the garden and formulated the law of universal gravitation.

The creative mechanism needs a purpose to work. Depending on the goals that a person sets for him, the mechanism leads him either to success or to failure.

5. A person who strives for happiness needs to shape his experience of success.

When you learn to ride a bike, in your imagination you already see yourself riding. Starting something new, solving a difficult problem, you need to be sure that its solution exists and that you can find it.

It is important to prepare seriously, to think a lot about the solution, and to be eager to find it. But then relax and make way for your creative gear. After a while, the decision will appear before you like an insight. Consciously, we can only lay the direction, and it depends on us whether this will be the direction of success or failure.

6. Actively use the power of your imagination

Maxwell Moltz was convinced that in many ways the imagination determines the direction of our lives. However, we can use its power to our advantage.

We completely trust our imagination in matters of self-representation.

The belief in the correctness of the created image makes us react in a certain way in different life situations. Dr. Moltz was convinced that mental images underlie all our actions. If we have the wrong opinion about ourselves, then our reactions will be wrong. But we can replace old mental images with new ones.

7. Rehearse in imagination the actions in accordance with your new image

A person suffering from low self-esteem, phobias and anxiety needs to mentally imagine how he copes with the most frightening problem situations. The more detailed the drawing of what is happening, the better. Such a preliminary replay of the situation in the head helps to act confidently in reality. And the correct actions in reality add up to the experience of success, which makes a person truly confident.

If you imagine yourself in the desired role long enough, then over time you will grow together with your new image and act in reality as you dreamed before.

8. Strengthen your sense of victory

When taking action, it is important to have realistic ideas, not to expect phenomenal success. The essence is in gradual changes, in the accumulation of experience, self-confidence and a sense of optimism. Return to mental training daily, replacing anxious thoughts with positive images. And over time, as the author convinces, they will be followed by the thoughts and feelings necessary for success, which will lead you to the desired results.