Lord777
Professional
- Messages
- 2,579
- Reaction score
- 1,511
- Points
- 113
As Henry Fielding said: "By doing good deeds, we do not always make a friend, but we do make a few enemies."
For the sake of gaining approval, many people are often helpful and caring even when not asked to.
When one person imposes help on another person, it makes him understand that he is not able to do something right.
The installation proceeds like this: "I know better how you live!"
And this violates the personal boundaries of the other.
This behavior is similar to manipulation: the person being helped feels obligated. Also, he may simply be annoyed for the "care" provided, and even worse: become dependent.
If someone solves problems for another person, then the function of the decision and the function of choice for this person simply dies off. As unnecessary.
Therefore, the most dangerous situations in families come from over-caring for their children.
When parents literally decide everything for their children, they do not give them the opportunity to develop correctly and become independent.
Why is it bad for those who show "care".
Some people, whose children travel to different cities or move in adulthood, often find it difficult to cope with loneliness. They don't know how to live for themselves. They are simply not used to it.
With this approach, they hang on their children a sense of guilt, begin to get sick, and attract attention to themselves.
For the sake of gaining approval, many people are often helpful and caring even when not asked to.
When one person imposes help on another person, it makes him understand that he is not able to do something right.
The installation proceeds like this: "I know better how you live!"
And this violates the personal boundaries of the other.
This behavior is similar to manipulation: the person being helped feels obligated. Also, he may simply be annoyed for the "care" provided, and even worse: become dependent.
If someone solves problems for another person, then the function of the decision and the function of choice for this person simply dies off. As unnecessary.
Therefore, the most dangerous situations in families come from over-caring for their children.
When parents literally decide everything for their children, they do not give them the opportunity to develop correctly and become independent.
Why is it bad for those who show "care".
Some people, whose children travel to different cities or move in adulthood, often find it difficult to cope with loneliness. They don't know how to live for themselves. They are simply not used to it.
With this approach, they hang on their children a sense of guilt, begin to get sick, and attract attention to themselves.
