Why are we lying?

[Tomcat]

Each of us can remember many cases of deception. Politicians lie in their campaign promises, mothers lie to children about Santa Claus, and children lie to teachers about homework. What can we say about data falsification, which happens even in scientific research. It is appropriate here to recall the story of the Piltdown Man, whose remains were falsified by an amateur archaeologist in 1912; it also includes countless photographs "confirming", say, the existence of the Loch Ness monster. , although the very essence of science is to get to the bottom of the truth!

We are successful in the art of lying from early childhood, and no matter what we say, it is not so difficult for us to lie to a stranger on the street, a colleague, or even a loved one. And this is because the ability to lie is an inherent property of our character, which, due to evolution, is on the same level with the need to trust others. The only thing that sometimes prevents us from lying is the superiority of reason over instincts. Simply put, upbringing sometimes tells us that it will now be more correct to tell the truth, even if it may be painful.

Systematization of lies​

One of the largest studies on lies was started by social psychologist Bella DePaulo more than 20 years ago (her research forms the basis of an interesting book). DePaulo's most famous experiment involved 147 people who, over the course of one week, had to note every attempt to lie or deceive someone.

Research has shown that, on average, we cheat at least once a day.

Fortunately, the overwhelming majority of the subjects' lies were completely harmless: first of all, deceiving, people tried to hide some of their failures or to spare the feelings of those who are dear to them. The second most common reason for lying, as DePaulo and her colleagues found out, is trying to cover up my laziness (“I couldn't do it because ... / Some amazing story is going on here / ”). The third reason is an attempt to give yourself weight and significance in the eyes of others.

In general, Dr. House was right: everyone does lie, but not every lie is the same.

Lies do not exist without a goal, and there is every reason to believe that, with rare exceptions in the form of pathological cases, we begin to lie exactly at the moment when all other, "legal" ways to achieve the goal have failed.

DePaulo's research team suggested that we, as a species, learned to lie around the same time we acquired speech. And, of course, like all our natural manifestations, the ability to deceive was originally associated with survival. Deception is a kind of human disguise, a special technique that allows you to achieve more (get a better partner, get more resources, etc.) by influencing your opponent indirectly, that is, hitting him with a stick, but more subtly, using manipulative tactics.

Actually, because even in the conditions of the modern world we continue to struggle for resources, deception as a mechanism of prosperity has not gone anywhere. On the contrary, it has developed to a huge scale, because modern man much more often prefers to solve his problems precisely by indirect influence.

“It’s easy and pleasant to tell the truth” ...​

... what can not be said about the lie! A qualitative lie, on the contrary, requires a lot of effort: preparation, ingenuity and intelligence, as well as well-developed higher brain functions - planning, attention and self-control. Precisely because this is not an easy matter, we learn to lie gradually: for the first time it happens somewhere between the ages of two and five, and we master the stable skill of deception by adolescence. So all our successful and unsuccessful lies in adulthood are a direct consequence of how well we once managed to fool our parents about absenteeism at school.

Despite the fact that many parents may be alarmed by childish deception, in fact, it signals the correct psychological development of the child. Over the years, we only hone our skills of lying and cunning, and this is due to the fact that as we grow up, we increasingly try to put ourselves in the shoes of others. This, by the way, is critically important in order for us to learn to understand the intentions and beliefs of others. That is, a two-year-old child lies because he does not want to be punished, while an eight-year-old will occasionally do it also because his deception will help not to offend the feelings of his beloved grandmother.

The limits of reason​

Like Bella DePaulo, psychologist Dan Ariely became interested in the study of the nature of lies for a long time - more than 15 years ago. During this time, he managed to conduct several experiments in a number of universities, and one of the most curious was the experiment with mathematical calculations.

Arieli gave a group of subjects a test with 20 problems, the solution of which was given only five minutes. For each problem solved, the participants were entitled to a monetary reward, while the scientists allegedly did not intend to check the number of completed tasks: the subjects themselves had to say how many equations they had time to solve.

The experiment showed that scientists were deceived by the overwhelming majority of participants: almost all of them announced an average of six solved problems, while the real, honest number was four.

However, it is interesting not that many lied (this could be predicted by the very conditions of the experiment), but that in general people preferred not to lie too much, although this would guarantee them a higher monetary reward. Arieli suggested that most of us (with the exception of people with mental health problems) have an internal built-in barrier to lying that makes us choose to lie on a modest scale. The supposed name for this barrier is self-deception: we want to look honest first of all in our own eyes, and therefore the time “little by little” would seem to be insignificant. That is, just enough so that we can continue to consider ourselves honest people.

It turns out that our whole life is a series of endless lies? After all, if we are in time every day, then the people around do exactly the same. What if the compliment you heard from a colleague yesterday wasn't genuine? And your husband was not late at all in training?

Living with the constant awareness that we can be deceived at any moment is not easy. Therefore, simultaneously with the mechanism of deception, our brain has developed a defense mechanism against it, namely, a natural tendency to trust others. Most of the information about the world we get from other people, so we must trust them unconditionally. After all, when someone tells you that he is a teacher, you do not run to check this information? You simply have no reason not to trust a person, because you think that he has no reason to deceive you.

By their very nature, people are naive, so the only way to protect your mind from trapping shadows in the corners is by default to assume that everyone around, contrary to Dr. House's postulate, is telling the truth in most cases. ... And if they lie, then only on trifles.