Carders Life in a state of "learned helplessness", or what are the conditions of life in the "shadow"
And yet, how wonderfully the world works! As soon as you don't tell people how to improve their lives, go online. LIGHT, they are still drawn to the "SHADOW" in suffering and illness, both physical and social.
And, of course, there are good reasons for this – too many carders are stuck in their "learned helplessness", in their "shadow", and they don't want to, and they can't get out of it, and why - this state has become familiar and familiar to them, although not very comfortable, painful.
And now let's digress a little from the topic and reflect on how amazing a thought leads through life, if you observe it, give it freedom of movement and the opportunity to follow its fate, how it begins to reveal various events of this thought.
I like the concept of "learned helplessness" came to me at the beginning of 2007, interested me, i.e. the focus of attention on this object was formed, then well-known events took place in the country, where the helplessness of the inhabitants of our country manifested itself in full force.
Carders were confused and some went with the flow of life, others went into crime, he then blossomed into a violent color, explaining: "We are not like that-life is like that!". This means that the "Shadow" of both carders and society has begun to manifest and develop widely, which is always the case in times of troubles. And still others, for whom the rules of "Shadow" are unacceptable, began to look for a way out in knowledge.
I was also looking for a way out of my "cognitive dissonance", speaking in a difficult professional language, but in reality-it's just not knowing what to do next – it's impossible to live in the old way, I don't know how to do it in a new way?
And I also followed the path of knowledge, in the direction of my thought: "How can I continue to live now? How can I remove my "learned helplessness" that has appeared in connection with the change in living conditions in my country?".
We must open carding training seminar under the program "School of Social Success for Carders", where carders-psychologists from our forum will learn a wonderful technique on the psychological foundations of life and their application.
The basis of this knowledge of the School of Social Success program was E. Bern's Transactional Analysis, which is well presented in his books "Games that people Play" and "People who play games" - the psychology of human destiny and the psychology of human relationships.
it was easy and accessible to understand who is who, and how it will interact in certain conditions.
Later on, it became clear to me that "learned helplessness" is formed when a person is excluded from life, that is, he is excluded from communication.
"Internal adult".
The "Inner parent" is an experience, it is the past, "Inner child" means dreams, the future, and The "inner adult" should be in the "Here and Now" state, adapt to the present the experience of a person and their desires and dreams.
And that's when the "inner adult" of a person is taken out of the scope of his life, and here you can do anything with a person, training him harshly, embittering, stupefying and forming more and more a syndrome of "learned helplessness".
Now, coming back to our stated topic, let's see what is offered to us for living with "learned helplessness", what is the structure of this Primitive (simple) group that offers this way of life and its "simple" rules.
Now let's look at what roles it offers to a person "Shadow" and what the life of choice is based on "Down." And our knowledge of the Election Table will be supplemented by the knowledge of the Carding School of Social Success program, and together they will create a clearer picture of our life, the episodes of which we already know, but often we know them separately.
But we did not have their system, which made life incomprehensible – "What to do with it?", where is the way out of all this absurdity of endless family conflicts, social wars.
We have already decided that there are no principles in the "Shadow", there are principles only for Choosing "Up", but in order to get the desired results, you need a mechanism for interaction between the actors of this system, i.e. the rules by which the system itself works, and which people living in this way of life must obey.
In data that is officially called primitive (simple).
For example, there are group roles that form a rigid hierarchy and are subject to established rules. First, let's look at the structure of these groups the roles in them - their 7 (family) and the functions of each role:
"Leader Carder" - has the right to appropriate any benefits, unpunished aggression. It is kept at the expense of physical strength, authority, courage and intelligence. Knows how to plan and organize group activities, anticipate situations, and eliminate competitors with someone else's hands.
"Authority Carder" - is often more intelligent than, but loses to him in other qualities, primarily in courage Has the right to give advice to the leader, strengthens his power, because he realizes his ambition through his success. Innovator. Often dreamy and romantic.
"Wingmen Carder" - ranked by the degree of proximity to the "top":
"Sycophant" – pleaser) - flatters, informs, receives handouts. By expelling him, the leader gets the status of a fair one.
"Puppet Carder" - he always does everything well, as the "boss" says, and his exemplary behavior is a reproach to everyone.
"Jester Carder" - emotional regulator + verbal protest in the direction of the "upper classes". Shows the leader's tolerance for criticism, identifies those who are dissatisfied with this system. He sets up traps for the not-so-smart members of the group who don't understand: "What a jester can do, others can't."
"Discontented Carder" - a figure for raising the prestige, rallying the group to aggression. If he rebels against the group, he is punished with exile "Downtrodden" - victims of group aggression, kicking them (humiliating them) is the duty of each member of the group. These are either the weakest (even if talented), the least intelligent, or the former "Dissatisfied".
Now let's look at the Rules of Communication in these groups.
Usually, in these groups, there is no reflection (analysis) in the relationships of subjects and the dialogue takes place at the level of primitive reaction - at emotional reactions, when the primary cause and purpose of communication is to defend one's "I", that "I" am good", from real and imaginary attacks.
As well as all sorts of adorning your "I" and strengthening it in your own eyes and in the eyes of others, in the most primitive (from the word simple) and in the simplest ways Primitive the rules, namely:
The Humiliation rule
My "I" is stronger (good) if the person next to me is weaker (bad). Therefore, to show my strength, it is enough for me to show the weakness of the person next to me. There are any number of ways to do this, and they all boil down to putting the contact partner lower, communicating with him in a "top-down" position, i.e. humiliating him in the contact position. Humiliation is considered both a rude order and name-calling, and an offer of help (which implies that a person cannot cope on his own, which means that he is weaker than the person helping). Just bragging about what you've done is saying, "That's how good I am, and you are?"
Rank matching rule
It is clear that as a result of applying the humiliation rule by everyone, a certain rating (hierarchy) of the group members is built up, everyone gets a certain rank, which shows who is stronger than whom (who is more good, kind, beautiful, etc.)
In accordance with the rank, the relationship of participants to each other is built. It is clear that it is impossible to run over the stronger one, and it is necessary to constantly confirm your own rank, otherwise you will be considered weak.
The Rebuff rule
If you didn't fight back against someone who humiliated you, you confirmed that they are stronger (better) and you are weaker (worse). To fight back (to show that you are not a fool) means to confirm that you are still worth something, not to fight back means to humiliate the attacker (to ignore), and also to give an excuse for others to attack (you can not answer him, but we are worse, and if so, he humiliated us, etc.). Not to answer anyone means to become a "pear" - a universal object for ridicule and jokes.
The Power rule
It is clear that the one who has fists is not particularly humiliated (see the first rule), and therefore the first in the hierarchy are often those who are physically stronger, and the last (beaten) are physically weak (even smart) who cannot use force as the last argument. In addition, the stronger can take away and appropriate the achievements of the weaker, keeping them silent under the threat of fists.
Promotion rule
It is clear that you can't argue with a stronger person, and therefore you have to take into account the fact that he gives preference to this or that person. Therefore, to get into the favorites of the "boss" - definitely move up in the hierarchy.
The Persecution rule
If someone has done something wrong, you have no right not to condemn them, as others have done, because in this case you will go against everyone (ignore their opinion, humiliate them). And if you are not strong enough to oppose yourself to everyone, then you are punished along with the guilty person.
The Scapegoat rule
If something happens, someone has to be responsible for it. If you are guilty, and you admit it, you are not smart, you have asked for a general persecution, and in general you are acting against the following rule.
But someone must be punished, and the simplest (after all, the level of communication is called primitive from the word "simple") will be to choose the weakest (or the one who is always to blame), who will not be able to unlock. A "scapegoat" can always be found.
The rule of removing aggression from yourself
It is impossible to admit that "I" am guilty, because "I" will then turn out to be bad, and this is not so. "I" is always good (according to the basic axiom of primitive communication and our self-consciousness. Therefore, the first, simplest (primitive) reaction to the question "Who did this?" is "This is not 'Me'. It is clear that after that it is necessary to answer the question " Who then?", which leads to the need to point out the "Scapegoat".
Loss recovery rule
In our minds, "I am the strongest" is not always consistent with "I am the kindest", and we want both. Therefore, if we offend someone (which, in principle, we cannot do without-competition does not allow us), we generously and carefully begin to compensate for losses incurred in the struggle for status, which contributes to creating the image of "I am kind, generous, caring, etc.".
The disinterest rule
When we clearly show interest in something or someone, we are exposed to criticism and ridicule from others (What did he see in her?; Also superman to me! – in general, there is something to giggle about...).
Defensively, I must not show my interest. By doing this, we often go too far and try to prove to unsuspecting people around us that we are even disgusted by it.
The temptation rule
If you've given yourself a reason to laugh, then don't complain later. You are to blame, because who can resist such a temptation-with impunity (for free) to settle down "from above" (terminology from Transactional Analysis). That is why it is harmful, for example, to complain to your girlfriends (friends) about someone who offended you.
You will immediately be given a lot of advice on how to act, while emphasizing that only people like you could get into such a situation – they will roll over you like a roller of sympathy, and you will not be able to do anything about it.
The relaxation rule
For those who are close to us (similar to us), we make fewer demands, because what is bad for them is automatically transferred to you. Therefore, we give those who are close to us (friend, brother, father, mother, husband, wife, our children, etc.) some relief in their assessments, defending their interests as our own.
Rules of mutual responsibility
"Why does the cuckoo praise the rooster without fear of sin? "For praising the cuckoo". After all, we will never scold the teacher who gives us good grades or the boss who writes out a good bonus? After all, we will not say that John is guilty, because he is our friend, and also because next time he will not betray us.
Rule of normality
People who communicate according to primitive rules are not aware of their presence and actions, because if this were not the case, they would begin to analyze themselves, as a result of which they would move away from primitive reactions, and therefore from these rules.
This is precisely the last rule that speaks about the complete abnormality of such primitive communication: a person cannot be called a Person if he does not analyze himself and the surrounding reality with subsequent generalization.
And after reading this information, such phenomena as bullying at school, mobbing and sexual harassment at work, as well as "volleyball games" by children in matters of their upbringing between school and family become absolutely clear.
And it is the formation in a person "Learned helplessness", which knocks out a person's personal qualities, his aspirations for creativity, happiness and harmony, in the language of "Transactional Analysis", depriving him of the State of "Adult", is the most inhumane way of thinking and living.
A real Person cannot consist of just one stomach and the satisfaction of sex-entertainment organs, which is imposed today through some one-sided strange market economy that creates an industry of "bread and circuses" and the satisfaction of base instincts, beneficial only to the owners of money.
It is precisely on money that people who have lost their human consciousness get hooked, like on a narcotic needle. No one denies the importance of money in our lives – it is designed for an adequate exchange. But it is adequate, and not a substitute for human life, not a substitute for the meaning of human life.
Strange as it may seem for this primitive ideology, man is essentially a spiritual being – "Man does not live by bread alone!", and he is alive as a Man only because of his Human, Integral state. And it is clear that those who are against this concept are also against the Person himself, and the whole of Humanity as a whole, against Humanity.
Learning these rules of primitive communication, the structure of the roles of this community, it becomes clear that the mixed natural instincts of the animal world-feeding on each other, creating a food chain, and the weak thinking of a person who constantly lives in fear and pain-create this primitive way of life.
And in "learned helplessness" there is no other way, because these states, pain and fear, are the basis of it itself. Here we find such an "unknown animal" - a monster, either running away or attacking, which destroys everything around it, including itself, without any possibilities of creation, because there is no consciousness – there is nothing to think about. Everything goes away, all the strength, all the thoughts, all the energy at least for some protection from this horror of disappearing completely, forever, so they turn around as best they can, as they understand life.
Practically, this animal is a weapon against Humanity. And everything possible is done with her so that her self-consciousness does not resurrect. And this is done quite sophisticated, of course, with the help of deception, manipulation, creating illusions. Which stupefy a person through the thirst for huge money, alcohol, drugs, the desire for "delicious sex", etc.
And this is done through the usual suggestion, verbal hypnosis through video and audio equipment, only the focus of attention, the focus is adjusted only for one thing-for the desire to own fabulous riches and idle rampant pastime.
However, these poor creatures do not even know that they will never have this... which is not provided for in the rules of the Games of a Primitive (Simple) community. Here all these wonders flow only in one direction in the direction of the organizers of these games – The ringleader and his think tank – Authority level .
Here, no Human ties, and therefore based on Love, do not count, fratricidal wars begin here: brother gets angry at brother, husband at wife and/or vice versa, children at each other, there are tough problems of fathers and children.
Generational ties, relationships between men and women are collapsing, problems arise between states, like mushrooms after rain-suddenly and inexplicably come from, fakes are made up and everything goes according to the rules of a primitive genre-and nothing Sacred! Yes, Nothing Is Sacred without Love!
Nations begin to hate each other, countries are pitted against each other in the ability to wage wars, all the time, arming themselves more and more, creating more and more perfect weapons for the death of a person.
Yes, the power of primitive communication is terrifying! And just the word "Primitive" is derived from the word "Simple". That's exactly where it becomes clear, to put it in our wonderful language, that "Simplicity is worse than theft!". Yes, and how much worse!
Such conclusions suggest themselves, if you delve into the anatomy and physiology of Primitive, from the word simple, communication.
And how do you think – "Shadow" - both your own and social, "learned helplessness" should be developed, indulged in, or should we urgently take up education, develop our self-consciousness, for the development of our own Personality and the Personality of the people around us?
It's a shame for the state – how many brilliant people in our state were, are and will still be born, so do they really need to create a Primitive way of life, adapting them to the "learned helplessness" from birth?
In previous articles, it was always said that the way out of this madness is only through Love, Light and the Highest Principles-Care-Kindness-Justice, that is, only
Smart-Smart-Loving, Unite!
We have the knowledge that gives us a way out of this wildness – "Cold Dynamics" by W. Wolf, "Transactional Analysis" by E. Bern, Logotherapy by W. Frankl and many other knowledge given to us by outstanding people of our country and the world who have positive, developing, creative thinking!
Knowledge is always Power and They Are Always Profitable!
It remains to start acting in the direction of Love, Joy, Happiness for All! All in The Field of Love and work, then the energy of primitive thinking, like the energy of immature combines, is transformed into a mature, creative energy of Light and There will be a Joy of Love on Earth!
