Techniques for recognizing manipulations and methods for solving them

[Man]

Shift of emphasis.​

Manipulators deliberately shift the emphasis in the material they present, pushing into the background something not entirely desirable and emphasizing what they need. This is often the lot of the media, which in most cases serves its masters. An example is a joke from the era of stagnation about General Secretary Brezhnev. The media comment on the race around the White House that took place at the suggestion of Jimmy Carter. Carter and Leonid Ilyich ran a race. Of the two participants, the winner in this race was, of course, the younger and stronger Carter. American media write smugly: "Our esteemed president is in excellent shape and was easily able to come in first, while General Secretary Brezhnev only got there last!" Our media wrote reserved: "In the competition that took place in the city of Washington, General Secretary of the CPSU Central Committee Leonid Ilyich Brezhnev came in second. US President Jimmy Carter could only be content with his penultimate place".

Antidote: Verify information, don't be afraid to ask clarifying questions and find out details.

Emotional contagion.​

This manipulation technology is based on such a property of the human psyche as emotional contagion. It is known that a person builds certain protective barriers on the way to receiving unwanted information. In order to bypass such a barrier (censorship of the psyche), it is necessary to direct the manipulative impact on feelings. Thus, by “charging” the necessary information with the necessary emotions, it is possible to overcome the barrier of reason and cause an explosion of passions in a person, forcing him to worry about what he heard. Then the effect of emotional contagion comes into play, which is most widespread in a crowd, where, as is known, the critical threshold of each individual is lower and historically more ancient reflexes and instincts are included. A similar manipulation technique is used during a number of reality shows, when the participants speak in raised tones and sometimes demonstrate significant emotional excitement. This makes the audience watch the twists and turns of the events being demonstrated, empathizing with the main characters.

Antidote: Separate the wheat from the chaff. It is necessary to separate the emotional message and the substantive aspect of the information. For example, before making a purchase under pressure from a clever salesperson or advertisement, think about what goals, desires and projected expenses you had before this situation/information appeared, what specific qualities and properties of the product/service interested you, how much to do you really need them. If it is possible to postpone making a decision, it is better to consider the issue of expediency later, in a calmer and more adequate emotional state, following the rule "the morning is wiser than the evening".

"Psychological Aikido".​

Depending on the presentation of the same materials, it is possible to achieve different, sometimes opposing opinions of the audience. That is, some event can be artificially "not noticed", and something, on the contrary, can be given increased attention. Here is a clear example of how this works:
“Dear Mom and Dad, I have been careless in writing letters since I left for college. I am sorry for my carelessness and for not writing until now. I will tell you now everything that has happened, but before you continue reading, please sit down. You will not read any further until you sit down, okay? Well, I am feeling pretty good now. The skull fracture and concussion I got when I jumped out of my dorm window when it caught fire shortly after I arrived here are almost healed. I spent two weeks in the hospital and can now see almost normally. I only get headaches once a day. Fortunately, the fire in the dorm and my jump were seen by the operator on duty at the gas station next to the dorm. It was he who called the fire department and an ambulance. He also visited me in the hospital and, since I had nowhere to live after the fire, he was kind enough to offer to share his room with him.

It is actually a basement room, but it is quite nice. He is a wonderful guy, we have fallen in love and are planning to get married. We have not set a date yet, but the wedding will be before my pregnancy becomes noticeable. Yes, Mom and Dad, I am pregnant. I know that you dream of becoming grandparents and that you will welcome the child with open arms and surround it with the same love, devotion and tender care that you surrounded me with as a child. The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my friend has contracted a minor infection that prevents him from taking premarital blood tests, and I inadvertently caught it from him. I am sure that you will welcome my friend with open arms. He is kind, and although not very educated, he is hardworking.

Now that I have told you what happened, I want to tell you that there was no dorm fire, I did not have a concussion or a fractured skull, I was not in the hospital, I am not pregnant, I am not engaged, I am not infected, and I do not have a boyfriend. However, I am getting low grades in history and bad grades in chemistry, and I want you to look at these grades with wisdom and forbearance. Your loving daughter, Sharon".

In his book, Influence, American social psychologist Robert Cialdini cites this amusing letter as an example of the skillful use of the principle of contrast in perception to influence people and change their beliefs. You can be sure that this fine little weapon of influence provided by the contrast principle does not go unused. The great advantage of the principle is not only that it works effectively, but also that its use is practically unnoticeable to the untrained person.

Antidote: Learn to return to your original position before external influences enter it. Check whether your current position is consistent with your strategic principles and priorities. Compare your position before and after receiving additional external information that changes your perception of what is happening. Analyze the credibility, importance, and significance of the information introduced from outside. Relate the conclusions drawn under the influence of this information to your long-term and previous plans, evaluation systems, priorities, and significant relationships.

Commands hidden in sentences and questions.​

The manipulator hides his command-set under the guise of a request. One Zen Buddhist parable can clearly demonstrate this:
The Zen master Bankei's discourses attracted not only Zen students but also people of different sects and ranks. His large audience displeased the priest of the Nichiren sect, as the followers of the sect left him to hear about Zen. The egocentric Nichiren priest came to the temple, intending to argue with Bankei.

“Hey, Zen master!” he called. “Wait a minute. Anyone who respects you will obey your words, but I don't respect you. Can you make me obey?”
"Come to me and I will show you," said Bankei. The priest began to make his way majestically through the crowd to the teacher. Bankei smiled.
- Stand to my left.
The priest obeyed.
"No", said Bankei, "we will talk more comfortably if you stand on my right. Come here."
The priest crossed to the right with dignity.
"You see", said Bankei, "you obey me. It seems to me that you are a subtle and gentle man. Now sit down and listen."

In this parable from the distant past we can observe direct manipulations, it only emphasizes the nature of the messages behind ordinary conversations and proposals. But such influence can also be carried out by more hidden methods.

Antidote: Be clear about your goals and "frame of reference". It is also worth trying to find out the motives and interests of the interlocutor. Subsequently, it will be easier to track the tactics and strategy for achieving them, presented in the form of specific techniques.

Avoiding discussion.​

Such a manipulative action is carried out with a demonstrative use of resentment. For example, "...it is impossible to constructively discuss serious issues with you...", "...your behavior makes it impossible to continue our meeting..." or "I am ready to continue this discussion, but only after you have calmed down..." etc.
The breakdown of a discussion by provoking a conflict is achieved through various techniques of getting the opponent angry, when the discussion turns into an ordinary squabble, completely unrelated to the original topic.

Antidote: Maintain emotional calm, composure and self-control. Explain to yourself that this trick is a provocation of the aggressor and will not work, because you have already identified it. Do not feel anger towards the aggressor himself for allowing himself such injustice. This is his nature.

Artificial displacement of the dispute.​

In this case, having started to discuss a position, the manipulator tries not to present the arguments from which this position follows, but suggests to immediately move on to their refutation. In this way, the opportunity for criticism of the manipulator's position is limited, and the dispute itself shifts to the argumentation of the opposing side. In the event that the opponent has succumbed to this and begins to criticize the position put forward, citing various arguments, they try to conduct the dispute around these arguments, looking for shortcomings in them. The manipulator does not provide his system of evidence for discussion.

Antidote: Bring the dialogue back to the channel you need. Remember the home field effect in football. In communication, home field is even more important. Do not give up the initiative and return to yourself and your chosen position.

A stream of questions.​

In the case of this manipulative technique, the object is asked several different questions on one topic at once. Then they act depending on his answer: they accuse him of not understanding the essence of the problem, or of not answering the question completely, or of trying to mislead.

Antidote: State that you think it is more appropriate to answer questions sequentially, and focus your answers on the topic you have chosen. In the case of aggressive pressure, ignore subsequent questions and continue calmly answering the one you have chosen, or hold a pause until the flow of questions dries up. There are options for actively discrediting the manipulator. For example, take a piece of paper and start writing down questions with a comment, as in the famous comedy: "Can you slow down, I'm writing down..."

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