Techniques and counter-techniques of verbal manipulation

[Brother]

We are surrounded by manipulators. Colleagues, family members, friends. Many manipulate unconsciously - they just learned these techniques when they were a victim and began to apply them themselves. But it doesn't matter whether the manipulation is intentional or not - you shouldn't be a victim of it. In this article, we'll look at common verbal manipulation techniques and ways to counter them.

Pot calls the kettle black…​

This saying most accurately defines the essence of the technique. The manipulator must catch the interlocutor on the inconsistency of words and deeds. Or create the appearance of such a discrepancy.

Example:
- We offer an advertising campaign, after which sales should increase by 15%.
- And this is telling us the branch that had the lowest percentage of sales in the last quarter?

Counteraction:
Turn this counterargument into an argument. The phrase "that's why" will help you with this.

Let's continue our previous example:
- And this is telling us the branch that had the lowest percentage of sales in the last quarter?
- Yes, last quarter we had low rates. That is why we seriously thought about how to increase the level of sales, and developed this advertising campaign.

Opponent's personal benefit appeal​

The manipulator indicates that the speaker is pursuing personal gain. He claims that his opponent is motivated not by the motive that he himself says, but by the desire for personal gain.

The manipulation consists of two parts:

1. Destruction of faith in the sincerity of intention.
2. The conviction of self-interest, personal interest, etc.

Example:
- I suggest replacing old computers with new ones. Our employees cannot work productively with outdated equipment.
- Yes? And how much will you earn on such a replacement?

Counteraction:
Try not to make excuses. This puts you in a losing position. You can comment on the inadmissibility of such statements, but this is unlikely to stop the manipulator on the way to his goal.

Instead, it is better to bring the manipulation to the point of absurdity. Agree that you are pursuing personal gain, and then make the situation ridiculous.

Let's continue with the previous example:
- Yes? And how much will you earn on such a replacement?
- Ten millions. But if you buy more expensive computers, maybe twelve. I really hope for it.

Ignorance​

The manipulator uses many difficult and incomprehensible or only partially understandable words. Often adults, fearing to lose their authority in the eyes of other people, do not ask again and do not specify the meaning of unfamiliar words, incomprehensible abbreviations. And how can you resist a manipulator if you do not fully understand what he is saying?

Here, amplification phrases also come to the rescue: "everyone knows", "it has been known for a long time", etc.

Counteraction:
Do not be afraid and do not hesitate to ask again if you do not fully understand something. Stupid is not the one who does not know some words, but the one who does not know some words and is silent about it when they are spoken.

The manipulator will either explain everything in a clearer and simpler way, and you will be able to put forward your counter-arguments, or he himself will get confused in the sense of what was said (after all, he is usually not asked again), and his attempt at manipulation will end in failure.

Age bet​

If you are younger than the manipulator, he may resort to a bet on his age, experience, worldly wisdom, etc.

Example:
- If we launch our project, the profit will increase by 5-10% by the end of this year.
- You know, I have been working here for ten years, and such projects have never brought the promised profit.

Counteraction can be broken down into two steps:

1. Compliment. Yes, compliment the manipulator's age. Say that you respect his life experience and work experience.
2. Logical refutation. After the compliment and the word "but", provide a logical refutation of the manipulator's words.

Let's continue with the previous example:
- You know, I have been working here for ten years, and such projects have never brought the promised profit.
- We appreciate your experience and your opinion, but past projects had a number of significant shortcomings, which we fixed. Do you want to discuss this?

Mentalism, profiling and extrasensory perception​

A very common technique among manipulators. They begin to interpret your actions. Of course, the chosen interpretation of your behavior plays into the hands of the manipulator.

Example :
- I believe that your proposal has a number of significant shortcomings. It…
- Wait, wait! You speak so loudly. You are too agitated for constructive criticism.

The volume and speed of speech, posture and body movements - this and much more can become an object of interpretation beneficial for the manipulator. He may even appeal to your calm behavior, calling it indifference or drowsiness.

To counter this technique, you must do two things:

1. Agreement. Recognize the behavior you have been exposed for. If you really speak loudly, then there is nothing worse than saying "no, I am not speaking loud!" Making excuses is generally bad at resisting manipulators, and if you deny the obvious, people will believe the manipulator even more. It is better to admit that you are speaking loudly, your hands are shaking or something else, and go to the second step.
2. Explanation. Explain why you are acting this way. This will destroy the distorted interpretation, and therefore all manipulation. Just don't lie yourself. Outside observers may notice this, and then the victory will remain with the manipulator.

Let's continue our example:
- Wait, wait! You speak so loudly. You are too agitated for constructive criticism.
- Yes, I really speak loudly, because there are a lot of people here, and I want everyone to hear me. I am absolutely calm and ready for a constructive dialogue.

To learn how to correctly interpret the behavior of other people, take a course on profiling.

Forewarned - forearmed. I am sure that now the effectiveness of manipulators' actions against you will noticeably decrease. Defend your ideas don't be manipulated.

Wish you success!

 

[Father]

? Manipulation of a leading question

Imagine an outbreak of a rare disease is expected in the United States, which is to take the lives of 600 people. Two alternative programs have been developed to combat this disease. Suppose that, scientifically, the implementation of these programs will yield the following results:

Adopting Program A will save 200 people. If Program B is adopted, there is a 1/3 chance that 600 people will be saved, and a 2/3 chance that no one will be saved.

Which of the two programs would you prefer? Now do the same task by choosing one of the following two programs:

If program B is adopted, 400 people will die. If Program D is adopted, the probability that no one will die is 1/3 and the probability that 600 people will die is 2/3.

When this problem was presented to college students, 72% of those who had to choose between the first two programs preferred program A, while 78% of those who had a choice of the second two programs preferred program D.

Programs A and B are the same in efficiency - the only difference between them is that in the first case, the number of those saved is indicated, and in the second, the number of those who died. Programs B and D are also identical, only the language for describing their results is different. Most people prefer zero-waste options. If one of the alternative solutions focuses on potential losses, people will reject it. A negative attitude towards losses outweighs a positive reaction to possible gains.

The percentage of people choosing one of the alternatives varies depending on the language used to describe each alternative and whether the focus is on gains or losses.

Halpern Diana
"Psychology of Critical Thinking"