Shyness of carders

[Lord777]

Shyness is the internal digestion of future awkwardness. Shyness is the ego's response to being shy and uncomfortable in the near future. In contrast to shyness - a person's tendency to painfully scrupulous about negative assessments of others at his expense, to fear of social interaction, shyness hides the ego's freaks about the upcoming event. It flows inside and up to a situation that is dubious from the standpoint of a false ego. Shyness is an external reaction to an unexpectedly unfavorable event, from which one would like to hide, if one knew about it in advance.

? How to get out of the shadows?
Initially, what should be done is to accept your shadow, hug it and understand that, in fact, it protects you, yes clumsily, yes you are cramped, but safe. There is no point in fighting the shadow. There is a sense, to learn - to manage it and use it for your own good.

Awareness of the origins of the appearance of shyness or shyness, and more often both. How easily can you cope with them with a strong-willed effort on your own, or is it better for you to seek help from a specialist, because the reasons require professional study?

? What can you do yourself?
Is there a standard of confidence within you, comparing yourself to which you hide in the shadow of emotional stress? When and how did your reference image of confidence come about? Are you sure that it is yours and not imposed from outside by someone? Why are you trying to fit yourself to the virtual image? Maybe it would be much wiser to accept yourself as you are, with all your characteristics?

Fear of being rejected at the base of both shyness and shyness. Fear can become your true friend if you are aware of its signals - what are you afraid to learn?

Try to comprehend what exactly in yourself you do not accept or reject or want to hide from others? What happens if you let it be in you?

Imagine this in your thoughts first, then try to transfer your vision into the reality of communicating with people.

What should you learn? Comprehend your development zone.

Add a touch of detachment and gentle humor to yourself. Make fun of your shyness and shyness. Accept them easily, without stress, without condemning yourself for such qualities, but perceiving their presence as a springboard for further improvement.

Make a list of resources for yourself - your successful scenarios for interacting with people, confident behavior, relaxation in companies, business situations. Remember your sensations, emotions, feelings corresponding to your confidence, soak in, be filled with them.

Plan activities in which you can confidently behave, practice the image of your confident interaction in various situations.

The significant point is that you should not expect quick effects and results. Habitual response patterns don't break down as quickly as we would like.

Practice until you get a beautiful result that evokes the light of joy within you. Let the light of joy become your guide for getting out of the shadow of ego games - shyness.

 

[Lord777]

How to get rid of shyness: twelve steps
Every day we come across a lot of shy, insecure individuals. Psychologists say that almost all people suffer from shyness to one degree or another.

One of the best books on this topic is the work of the American psychologist F. Zimbardo, which is called "Shyness: What It Is and How to Deal with It", suggests referring to Webster's famous dictionary, which says that being shy means being "difficult for rapprochement, due to timidity, caution and mistrust."
If you seriously want to get rid of shyness and become always confident and secure, there are several steps you can take:

1. Observe carefully your shyness and insecurity and try to understand its origins. Where did you get this property? Is it congenital or acquired? And if you bought it, what influenced you the most - failure, bullying, ridicule, criticism, difficult circumstances, or some other reason? Also answer the question - is it easy to eliminate these reasons with a simple volitional decision, or they require painstaking work, perhaps together with a specialist.

2. Try to see in yourself that inner standard of confidence, comparison with which brings you into a state of emotional tension and clamping. Why do you feel so painful that you are not like him? Where did you get this inner standard and image? Who introduced it to your consciousness? Think, could you live without comparing yourself with anyone or with anything, but accepting yourself as you are?

3. Try to understand that you do not love so much in yourself and why do you reject it? What motivates you to hide this trait or property so intensely from other people? What happens if, on the contrary, you accept it first for yourself and then open it to others? To get rid of shyness, first try to imagine it in your head, and then gradually transfer your idea, vision and mood into reality.

4. Learn the great art of calm and objective vision of yourself, as it were, from the outside without evaluations and condemnation. Such an outwardly neutral vision will gradually awaken your positive emotions, a feeling of joy and love for the whole world, including yourself, as a part of this world. Direct this love to that darkened inner line, which you do not love so much and which you so diligently hide from prying eyes.

5. Introduce a light detachment and gentle humor into your relationship with yourself. Make fun of your shyness and insecurity. Accept them easily, without stress, without condemning yourself for such qualities, but perceiving their presence as a springboard for further improvement.

6. Collect all the past resources of your victories, or at least successful communication scenarios in any situations. Remember all the times you were confident and relaxed in companies. Try to recall and relive the positive emotions that you experienced then. Then bring those emotions together into one big, holistic sense of faith in yourself and tune in to expand it further. Saturate with this feeling, as if with a light substance, your whole being - body, organism, nervous system, psyche, consciousness, your "I".

7. Mentally observe yourself and try to find in yourself some inner blackouts and energy blocks that are responsible for the state of insecurity and prevent you from getting rid of shyness. Then dissolve this feeling and state on all levels of your being from consciousness to body and replace it with a state of confidence.

8. Take a close look at confident, liberated people. Try to understand what the secret of their success is and how they manage to keep themselves relaxed and confident in all situations. Try to imagine how their inner world works. Think if there are at least some weak rudiments of such confidence and relaxedness inside you? If there is, then over and over again tune in to this state, catching and fixing it. Also think about whether you are capable of the actions that these people do or not.

9. Try to behave the way people of this type behave - freely, confidently, relaxed, doing what they like to do, without looking back at others. Inject impulses of freedom and emancipation into your gestures, movements, views, gait, intonation, facial expressions, decisions, actions. Achieve a clear feeling that the flow of freedom is passing through you.

10. If the above techniques and methods of self-confidence are not enough to relieve you of shyness, then turn to the Higher Forces with a prayer and a request to help you acquire this state and property. Ask with all your heart and being, bringing into your prayer the energy of emotional sincerity and aspiration, and after a while you will begin to receive an answer and support.

11.Give serious space to the release of muscle tension. Shyness simply ceases to exist as a property if a person has learned to truly relax his body. Every facet of shyness has its own muscular manifestation. Examine the muscle pattern of your shyness. Try to understand which muscle groups are the main forces supporting this negative emotional state.

12. At the moment of blows or pressure of circumstances, try to respond to them by putting up an energy shield, woven from the substance of confidence. Trust that you can handle the problem.

At the same time, don't turn yourself into a self-confident biorobot. Confidence is not a goal, it is just a means to an end and a certain indicator of a person's vitality, indicating that the goal will be achieved. Leave room for pain, failure, experience. Remember the thought expressed by Zimbardo: “Do not over-protect your ego: it is more solid and resilient than you think. It bends but does not break. It is much better to feel pain in your soul from time to time because you did not act in the best way than to avoid pain at the expense of an emotional sensation."