The exercise, which I will now tell you about, I myself came up with. True, the word "invented" is not suitable here. I didn't come up with anything like that. I just played with myself a well-known projective game that I use in groups for teenagers. And I'll tell you what came of it.
Here is how it was. I sat on the balcony and thought about both. What I did, what needs to be done, what I will have in time, what I will not have in time, and so on. It was me who took a break from working at the computer. And among other things, I suddenly remembered the exercise that I have already mentioned. The group members are invited to find an object (it can be figures, photos, postcards, in general, anything) that they like in some way, and tell the story on his behalf. This is an uncomplicated technique, although it can have many variations. In one of them there should be two of these objects: one - how I feel inside; the second is who or what I want to appear to others. It was then that I began to play it - alone, sitting on the balcony.
Step 1. It is necessary to find an object around you that would reflect your inner state (in principle, you can imagine an object).
For me at that time, this item turned out to be a small seat cushion that was lying next to me on the bench.
Step 2. Based on the chosen object, describe your condition, starting with the words "I now feel myself ...". And then listen to your feelings that you have.
I literally began to list what I saw the pillow. And I noted to myself that this is suitable for my condition. I told myself: “I feel tired, crumpled, crushed, falling down somewhere, stale, stained. It makes me sad, melancholy. "At the same time, with my whole body I felt this" depression "and" staleness ". And oh, a miracle! Even then, I suddenly felt some kind of excitement and joy. Despite the fact that I am a psychologist, sometimes , it is not easy for me to tell about how I feel, how I feel. And here, thanks to the pillow, I was able to feel my condition.
Step 3. Find a subject that reflects how you strive to show yourself to others.
Then on the balcony I was alone, and therefore I did not try to show anything like that. And the subject remained the same with me.
Step 4. Based on the chosen object, describe the state that you want to demonstrate to others: "I want to show myself ...". And then listen to your feelings that you have.
A little later, the next day, I had the opportunity to feel what it is like when objects (states) do not match. I was surrounded by people and realized that I strive to show myself in a different light than I feel inside. While listing what I want to seem, I felt irritation growing inside me: “Why am I torturing myself? Is it really necessary here? Really, if I open up a little, then everything will go somersault? What all? "
Step 5. I will call it beautifully. Assessment of congruence. Analyze how far or close your inner state is and how you are trying to show yourself. If you have one item for both steps, then you are congruent. And, according to humanist psychologists, this is an ideal state for our psyche, it preserves psychological health.
6 step. Choose the third item. Let it reflect your desired state. Describe it based on the object, starting with the words: "I want to feel ...". What emotions does this fantasy evoke in you?
Sitting on the balcony, I stopped at one of the windows in the house opposite. Here's what happened: "I want to feel the light inside and outside myself, lightness, radiance, brightness of the world, snow-white, purity."
7 step. Think about what you can do for yourself now and in the near future in order, on the one hand, to bring two states ("internal" and "external") closer to each other, on the other hand, to approach the third, desired. By “do” is meant anything you want: thoughts, images, fantasies, actions, etc.
The first thing I did was straighten up, it happened spontaneously. Next, I mentally imagined how my muscles stretch, move. I felt changes in bodily sensations, from this relief and joy. I wanted to take a walk, get some fresh air, warm up. Incidentally, I was planning a walk. But then I realized, more precisely, I felt that, it turns out, there is a difference - to plan and do or want and do. And, indeed, I often carried out the planned rest, but it did not bring much relief or joy. Since, perhaps, it did not correspond to my inner needs at that time. That is what, at times, I lack - the awareness of internal needs and the correspondence of my actions to them! It's a simple thought, but it's not so easy for me to understand what I want, what my needs are. And this technique made it possible to advance in this matter. It was one of the most enjoyable walks in recent years, although I took a walk near my home. But I knew for sure that this was exactly what I needed! And I listened with joy to the changes in my condition.
In general, this exercise will help you better describe and understand your condition, identify needs, see the identity or non-identity of the external and internal. It will help fill your actions with meaning, give spontaneity to life. It's great to use it on the way home from work, on the street, on the subway, at breakfast, before bed. That is, in those moments of life when many of us think about something deeply of our own, but at the same time not in contact with ourselves, and therefore these reflections do not help to replenish strength and be filled with inspiration.
Take care of yourself when there is nothing to do and when there is something to do! Improve your self-worth!
