Self-development plan of a successful carder

[Lord777]

Awareness of the need
Before starting the process of self-development, you need to figure out why you need it and whether you need it at all. At this stage, it is not so important whether you want to get rich, or learn to communicate with people more competently - it is much more important to have a strong desire to change your life for the better and put some effort into it. Are you ready to step out of your comfort zone and are not afraid of changes in your life? Okay, then let's move on to the next point.

Study of needs
At this stage, you need to clearly understand what exactly you want to change for the better in your life. Achieve a promotion at work, improve health or become a real communication guru - your further actions will depend on what you choose. Ask yourself the question: "What do I want from life and what should I change in it?" You must be clear about what goals you want to achieve. But do not immediately try to radically change your life, the chance is too great to drop everything and return back to your comfort zone. It is better to do self-development gradually. Set a goal - achieved it, moved on to the next, etc. increasingly. To get started, learn to get up at least 20 minutes earlier ?

Knowing yourself
Once you've decided on your goals, do some introspection. What prevents you from achieving your goals, and what can help? Which character traits do you consider negative and which are positive. It is very important here not to engage in self-deception, but to honestly and openly look at your life with a critical eye. It is better if you write down the results. Yes, that's right, take a blank sheet of paper, a pen and print on it a list of all your advantages and disadvantages. You can also ask a close friend (wife / brother / parents) to rate how your research correlates with the opinions of others.

Drawing up a strategy
You have already definitely decided to engage in self-development, found out what exactly you want to change and assessed all your possibilities, great! Now you need to draw up a strategy for your actions, i.e. how you will achieve your goals. Here, unfortunately, the advice of third-party people is unlikely to help you - you must do it yourself. At this stage, it is important not to overestimate your own strengths and draw up a realistic plan. If you dream of quitting smoking (for example), then think about whether you can get rid of this addiction in an instant, or you will have to gradually give up nicotine. Again, it is best to record your plan on paper (alternatively, in the form of a text document) and hang it in the most conspicuous place.

️ Actions
And now the most important thing is to start working on yourself right now! No excuses "from next week", but today. All the previous points were just preparation, and without real action, they are worthless. Throw away all fears and doubts and finally take the first step along the road of self-development. As you move, be sure to write down the results and compare them with the original plan - what you managed to achieve, and what you should have done more closely. You will succeed!

 

[Teacher]

[Self-development] Assertiveness
Salyut, carders, sages said - Be firm in your goals but flexible in your means! Modern psychologists who help people gain more self-confidence and develop leadership skills say-be assertive. What does it mean?

The term assertiveness is used to describe a certain style of behavior and communication with other people.

Assertiveness is a quality of a Leader that provides self-sufficiency, self-confidence, flexibility in communication, and purposefulness.

This style means that we express our feelings, thoughts, wishes, and beliefs in an open manner, without violating other people's rights to self-determination. This is the opposite of aggressive behavior - when we demand, violating the rights of others, or passive behavior - when people deprive themselves of the opportunity to respect their own rights and interests.

Assertive (English) - confident, persistent, able to insist on their own.
A distinctive feature of confident behavior (assertive) is an adequate assessment of one's responsibility. In insecure behavior, a shy person puts all the responsibility on himself, while an aggressive person shifts it to others.

Being assertive means that you are able to state what you are interested in, what you want from others, and that you can answer "no" to someone's request. This means that you can openly express our feelings, such as love, preference, or anger, and express your own opinion without being embarrassed. For various reasons, very few people manage to be assertive at any time and in any situation.

Why be assertive:
By developing your own assertiveness, you can improve our "self-image", gain self-confidence and strengthen our sense of self-worth.

You defend your own rights, express your thoughts, desires, and feelings directly and openly in ways that respect the rights of others. An assertive person acts without unnecessary worry or guilt. Assertive people respect themselves and others and are responsible for their actions and choices. They are clearly aware of their needs. When they receive a rejection, they may be sad or disappointed, but their self-perception is not overshadowed. An assertive person does not rely too much on other people's approval and feels safe and confident in themselves.

Assertive behavior (confident behavior) is characterized by such features as:

• focus;
• focus on overcoming the obstacles that arise, not on experiences;
• flexibility, adequacy of responses to a rapidly changing environment;
• social orientation, focus on constructive relationships with others;
• a combination of spontaneity with the possibility of arbitrary regulation;
• perseverance that doesn't turn into aggression;
• focus on achieving success, not avoiding failure;
• creation.

Verbal and nonverbal characteristics:

• Active listening. Clarifying questions are asked and clarity of understanding is checked
• The voice is even, the words pronounced clearly.
• Direct look at the other person. Averting your gaze is only about thinking.
• Straight, balanced, open body position.
• Gestures match words: coordinated, deliberate (possible gestures of "emblems" and "illustrators"), without sudden movements (no gestures of "manipulators")
• Using: I – statements: "I like...", " I want...", "I don't want...", "I don't like..", "I regard...", " I get annoyed when...", "I'm upset that...", etc.
• Collaboration phrases: "What do you think about this?", "I'm interested in your opinion", " What are you interested in?", " What do you want to get?", " How do you think this should happen?"
• Underlined statements of interest: "I would really like to...", "I hope for...", etc.
• Consistent argumentation and counter-argumentation. Constructive perception and amortization of criticism.

Effective thinking patterns in NLP formats:

• Mindfulness and mindfulness of your feelings.
• Well-formulated result
• Three-position perception
• Association, dissociation
• Flexible and conscious movement of attention focuses (mobile "assemblage point") Reasonable degree of generalizations and differences. Reframing.
• Structural vision of the problem space.
• Effective feedback

Effect:
The more you stand up for yourself and act in the manner of assertiveness that you have set for yourself, the higher your self-esteem and self-sufficiency. In this case, the chances of getting what you want out of life increase significantly. Especially if others understand what you want. If you openly and correctly express your dissatisfaction, then negative experiences find an adequate way out, without accumulating and without bringing you to stress. Feelings such as shyness and anxiety stop taking the energy to defend yourself. You can perceive the world easily.

Pitfalls:
Friends can sometimes misinterpret your assertiveness and possibly sabotage the assertiveness you acquire. You will interact with them in a different way, due to a reassessment of your values, beliefs, and behaviors. This, at the initial stage, can cause resistance. You want changes, and they may have been happy with everything. So be patient and remember what you're aiming for. Everyone will get used to you in a new way and learn how to interact with you in a way that suits you.

Executive Summary:
Assertiveness is a personality trait that can be defined as autonomy, independence from external influences and assessments, the ability to independently regulate one's own behavior, self-confidence and self-sufficiency.