Self-concept is one of the most powerful systems of beliefs, attitudes and ideas of a person about himself and the situation around him. It mediates stimuli from the outside world, predetermines the way people act and is a key reason for them to feel their life as happy or tragic. The self-concept performs important functions in a person's life.
The self-concept contributes to the achievement of the inner coherence of the personality. If the self-concept of a person is contradictory, contains mutually exclusive ideas, then the person experiences discomfort. His actions in such cases are aimed either at changing the self-concept, or at distorting reality in the name of eliminating discomfort. A coordinated self-concept allows a person to feel confident, to be in close contact with reality.
The self-concept determines the interpretation of the life experience of the individual. The person has a strong tendency to interpret his individual experience on the basis of ideas about himself. Self-concept serves as a kind of "prism" through which perceived reality is refracted. For example, a person who considers himself “incapable” can explain his success by chance, and “capable” - a manifestation of his talent; “Unattractive” regards attention to oneself as an attempt to play a joke, and “attractive” as an attempt to get to know each other. A person with a positive self-concept regards a smile in his address as a manifestation of good feelings, and with a negative one - as a mockery.
The self-concept is the source of expectations. It influences a person's prognosis about what should happen to him.
In accordance with the I-concept, a person counts on success or failure: "I will fail as usual" or "I will succeed." She allows him to anticipate his reactions: "I will be scared", "I will cry", "I will take it calmly." The self-concept imposes on a person a forecast about the attitude and behavior of people towards him: “No one will love me”, “They will laugh at me”, “They will appreciate me highly”. Such a forecast has the property of a self-confirming prophecy: a person who expects to be criticized behaves insecure (or defiantly) and thus really causes criticism in his address. Instead of passively reacting to the environment, the self-concept begins to change it and reinforce itself, not so much predicting the consequences as provoking them.
If a person's behavior conflicts with his self-concept, it will cause cognitive dissonance. Therefore, a person with an established self-concept builds his behavior in such a way that it does not contradict his ideas about himself. The “smart” seeks to behave as the smart one is supposed to do; “Rich” - in accordance with the standards of behavior known to him as “rich”; The "unsuccessful" will skip classes, get distracted in the classroom, etc. Thus, the self-concept largely determines the behavior.
Describing himself, a person uses judgments that reflect some stable tendencies in his behavior. As a rule, these judgments are answers to questions:
Who am I? (role, status characteristics).
What am I? (physical and psychological traits, characteristics).
What I want? (motivation, values, interests).
What I can? (ideas about their own abilities).
What belongs to me? (description of ideal and material values, the possession of which is significant for him).
All these characteristics are included in the self-concept with different "specific gravity": some seem to be more significant, others - less; the significance of individual judgments can change in different contexts, in different life situations, in different periods of life.
These self-concepts are organized hierarchically: there are more general judgments, including more particular ones. For example, “I don't like poetry,” “I have a strong will,” and “I am a rational person” may result from the attitude “I should never show my feelings.” According to the founder of scenario analysis, Eric Berne, some of these decisions may be at the heart of the life plan we make at an early age.
Early decisions
Parental figures, other people, and even life itself provide the child with data about who he is, who other people are and what the world is like, where he ended up. These messages look like a kind of "messages" that the child receives periodically. He is especially sensitive to parental messages, because he intuitively feels that his life and well-being depend on them.
Some messages actually have the character of a verbal message addressed to or overheard by a child; sometimes it is actions or emotional reactions. But it also happens that a child, due to egocentric thinking, can consider an event in his life as a message, which is not really a message. I must say that what matters is not what the parent intended to convey, but what meaning the child gave to the message.
Analyzing the psychological scenarios of his patients seeking therapeutic help, Bern came to the conclusion that they are based on non-constructive decisions that are made under the influence of special parental messages with negative, destructive content. They are passed on by some parents due to their own deviations. Such prescriptions are like spells that bewitch a child.
Among the verbally transmitted negative prescriptions, one can single out
Spells are negative definitions; “You are dirty! Fool! You dumbass! "etc." You are a terrible child "," You are ugly. "
Curses are wishes of damage that have the character of a direct order: "So that you fail! ..", "We would be much better without you", "Why can't you be human!"
Negative prophecies - the child is told what awaits him in the future: "Nothing sensible will come of you! .. The prison is crying for you! ..", "You will never achieve anything."
Stoppers are messages that in one form or another indicate what should not be done: “Don't be smart! Don't think about ...! Don't be angry! .. Don't touch, you won't succeed; give me better! ".
Prescriptions can also be conveyed non-verbally. The child invents, fantasizes and misinterprets events and in this way gives himself instructions.
A small child is not able to objectively assess himself, and the parental figures become for him a kind of "mirrors" by which he can judge who he is and who the people around him are. If significant others recognize him, he considers himself a worthy person, and the "I" becomes acceptable. However, if these others treat him as bad and harmful, he perceives himself as harmful and believes that this harmfulness lives inside him. The child is too small and inexperienced to understand that these "mirrors" can be crooked. The child who has been hit cannot conclude, “I am not a bad child. Mom spanked me because she is a hysterical person who is worried that she is no longer in the spotlight. "He would rather think that the problem is with him, and not with his mother.
In the situations described above, the child may not hear direct verbal instructions, but under the influence of strong impressions, he makes a decision and follows it.
Prescriptions can be positive or neutral:
Definitions and assessments: "Boy, there is something in you ... Well done! .. Golden hands! ..".
Prophecies: "We really hope that you will get higher education", "One day you will become famous ...", "Directly created to be a musician."
Permissions: Indicate what can be done, but not forced.
It should be noted that the prescriptions are not "implanted" into the child like an electrode. He has the power to accept them, ignore them, or reverse them. However, if a decision is made on the basis of a prescription, it is very difficult to violate it. This decision determines the set of central beliefs about who he is, who the people around him are, what this world is and how one should behave in it. Thus, scenario decision is a deep and fundamental cognitive formation, for confirmation and justification of which a person can turn to certain irrational beliefs. Early decisions become a kind of filter that influences the entire perception of the world.
Existential position
A person chooses scenario themes in accordance with decisions made in deep childhood, and the most fundamental of these themes are feelings of self-worth and well-being. Bern drew attention to the fact that a person's position in life is made up of a set of attitudes towards oneself (I am OK or I am not OK) and a set of attitudes towards an interaction partner (You are OK or You are not OK ). OK in Bern's terminology can mean: "good", "valuable", "prosperous", "in harmony with oneself." The combination of these attitudes defines four main existential positions:
I am OK (+); You are OK (+).
I am OK (+); You are not OK (-).
I am not OK (-); You are OK (+).
I am not OK (-); You are not OK (-).
When a child adopts one of these positions, he adjusts early decisions, and then his entire scenario to it.
All children begin life from the position "I +, You +". When a baby feels that he lives in harmony with the world and everything in the world is in harmony with him, this position becomes the foundation for his decisions. The child changes his position only if something interferes with his interdependence with the mother, for example, when the child feels that the mother is no longer protecting him and taking care of him, as she did before. In response to these inconveniences, the child may decide that he is not OK or that other people are not OK, and move from a state of "basic trust" to a state of fundamental distrust. In accordance with this fundamental idea of himself and those around him, the child begins to write his own script.
Every adult is not in a chosen position all the time; we can change these life positions in different situations. However, each of us has a favorite existential position adopted by us in childhood, into which we enter, experiencing frustration. Each of the four existential positions is characterized by a specific set of emotions.
The position “I +; You + ”is healthy and consists in cooperation with other people in solving life problems. While in it, we act in order to achieve the desired results, and this position is the only one based on reality.
The position “I +; You are - "- defensive. Being here, a person tries to rise above other people. At the same time, others will perceive him as an overwhelming, insensitive and aggressive person. This position is characterized by a set of aggressive emotions and a desire to get rid of the opponent.
The position "I-; You +" makes you feel inferior to other people. In it, a person most likely experiences unpleasant feelings of a depressive nature and seeks to move away from "good" people, whose society he is "unworthy".
The position "I-; You-" are called barren. A person is convinced that the whole world and all the people in it are bad, as, indeed, he himself. He feels tired and depressed. The theme of the main action is waiting.
A person's beliefs that affect their emotional problems usually have many layers.
The earliest and deepest is the decision regarding one's own well-being and trust - an existential position. It can play the role of a filter that organizes the perception and evaluation of the experience. To justify and confirm it, under the influence of parental prescriptions, an early decision is made about oneself, people and life, which can become a central belief. This belief, in turn, affects the perception of the world, forms private beliefs about specific life circumstances and a set of attitudes.
