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Once a Swan, Cancer and PikeThey took the load with the baggageAnd together the three were all harnessed to him;They crawl out of their skin, but the cart is still not moving!The luggage would seem easy for them:Yes the Swan is bursting into the clouds,Cancer moves back, and Pike pulls into the water.
I will continue the topic of subpersonalities, started in the previous article.
Today we will discuss what problems there are with subpersonalities and with their interaction.
The most common options are:
1. Subpersonality is not in harmony with the whole and "behaves strangely"
2. Subpersonality is dissociated, that is, as if "split off" from the whole
3. Subpersonalities are in conflict - they want mutually exclusive things
Now about each option in more detail and with examples.
1. Subpersonality "on your mind."
In this case, the subpersonality has good intentions, but realizes them in ways that are strange for the present time.
As I said in the previous one, subpersonalities are usually formed before the age of 3 years, and then they can grow, improve their behavior options, learn new life strategies, experience new feelings and states.
But this is not always the case. And the subpersonality can "get stuck" in old ways of thinking-feeling-acting.
2. Subpersonality "split off from the whole"
This usually happens as a result of injury. A person is faced with a transcendental level of experiences, cannot contact these feelings. As a result, he represses these feelings and rejects the part of himself that experienced them.
3. Subpersonalities are in conflict. This is the very inner conflict:
Subpersonalities want mutually exclusive things at the same time.
One subpersonality wants, and the second forbids
One subpersonality demands, and the second sabotages
"I can't bring myself to .." - says the client.
Such a phrase is a sign of internal conflict.
Thus, in therapy you can:
"So many subpersonalities - is it not schizophrenia, not a split personality?"
“I have more than a dozen subpersonalities, it looks very strange” - such questions are sometimes asked by clients.
We can talk about mental illness when each subpersonality lives by itself, and they are not connected into a whole, when a person's time line is torn, he does not remember what he did an hour ago and does not associate it with himself.
Then, metaphorically, it will be a flower from which the petals were torn off, and each of the petals exists on its own separately. Moreover, one petal does not realize, does not understand and does not remember what the other was doing.
If a person has all this connected in a single timeline, and just at different moments he manifests himself from different sides, then this is quite normal. We cannot be exactly the same at home, at work, with parents, with children, with friends, and so on.
The personality can be compared to a diamond that can turn in different faces. Each facet is a subpersonality.
And at the end of the become - the exercise "Dialogue with the subpersonality."
You can do this exercise yourself - in order to better understand the facets of yourself, get to know your subpersonalities and, if necessary, start the transformation process.
1. Formulate a request - what would you like to get from this exercise. It can be understood what your subpersonality is manifested in this or that sphere of life, and why it manifests itself in this way.
2. Close your eyes and allow the image of this subpersonality to arise.
3. What emotions and feelings does this subpersonality evoke in you?
4. How is this subpersonality related to your request?
5. What emotions and feelings do you evoke in this subpersonality
6. Draw this subpersonality on the sheet
7. Ask this subpersonality questions:
8. Ask questions regarding the problem / request
9. Look at the image of the subpersonality. Has he changed during the conversation
10. Draw the image of the subpersonality that resulted from the transformation
11. Compare your feelings and feelings about this subpersonality
12. Ask yourself questions:
I will continue the topic of subpersonalities, started in the previous article.
Today we will discuss what problems there are with subpersonalities and with their interaction.
The most common options are:
1. Subpersonality is not in harmony with the whole and "behaves strangely"
2. Subpersonality is dissociated, that is, as if "split off" from the whole
3. Subpersonalities are in conflict - they want mutually exclusive things
Now about each option in more detail and with examples.
1. Subpersonality "on your mind."
In this case, the subpersonality has good intentions, but realizes them in ways that are strange for the present time.
As I said in the previous one, subpersonalities are usually formed before the age of 3 years, and then they can grow, improve their behavior options, learn new life strategies, experience new feelings and states.
But this is not always the case. And the subpersonality can "get stuck" in old ways of thinking-feeling-acting.
2. Subpersonality "split off from the whole"
This usually happens as a result of injury. A person is faced with a transcendental level of experiences, cannot contact these feelings. As a result, he represses these feelings and rejects the part of himself that experienced them.
3. Subpersonalities are in conflict. This is the very inner conflict:
Subpersonalities want mutually exclusive things at the same time.
One subpersonality wants, and the second forbids
One subpersonality demands, and the second sabotages
"I can't bring myself to .." - says the client.
Such a phrase is a sign of internal conflict.
Thus, in therapy you can:
- Help subpersonalities negotiate - to resolve internal conflicts and come to an agreement within oneself
- Transform subpersonalities - in order to achieve what you want in a way that is more suitable for today
- To return to oneself the "split off" dissociated subpersonalities - in order to cope with the consequences of trauma and regain integrity.
"So many subpersonalities - is it not schizophrenia, not a split personality?"
“I have more than a dozen subpersonalities, it looks very strange” - such questions are sometimes asked by clients.
We can talk about mental illness when each subpersonality lives by itself, and they are not connected into a whole, when a person's time line is torn, he does not remember what he did an hour ago and does not associate it with himself.
Then, metaphorically, it will be a flower from which the petals were torn off, and each of the petals exists on its own separately. Moreover, one petal does not realize, does not understand and does not remember what the other was doing.
If a person has all this connected in a single timeline, and just at different moments he manifests himself from different sides, then this is quite normal. We cannot be exactly the same at home, at work, with parents, with children, with friends, and so on.
The personality can be compared to a diamond that can turn in different faces. Each facet is a subpersonality.
And at the end of the become - the exercise "Dialogue with the subpersonality."
You can do this exercise yourself - in order to better understand the facets of yourself, get to know your subpersonalities and, if necessary, start the transformation process.
1. Formulate a request - what would you like to get from this exercise. It can be understood what your subpersonality is manifested in this or that sphere of life, and why it manifests itself in this way.
2. Close your eyes and allow the image of this subpersonality to arise.
3. What emotions and feelings does this subpersonality evoke in you?
4. How is this subpersonality related to your request?
5. What emotions and feelings do you evoke in this subpersonality
6. Draw this subpersonality on the sheet
7. Ask this subpersonality questions:
- what is your goal
- why did you appear exactly during this period of my life
- why are you here
- What do you want from me
- what do you want from me
- what do you need
- what do you offer me
- why are you offended at me
- How can I help you
- what are you protecting me from
- What can you give me
8. Ask questions regarding the problem / request
- how I attracted this problem
- what good does this problem bring to me
- how should I behave to resolve this situation
9. Look at the image of the subpersonality. Has he changed during the conversation
10. Draw the image of the subpersonality that resulted from the transformation
11. Compare your feelings and feelings about this subpersonality
12. Ask yourself questions:
- what happened, what changes happened
- what contributed to these changes
- how my life will change if I follow these changes
- whether these changes suit me. Maybe something needs to be adjusted
