Man
Professional
- Messages
- 3,106
- Reaction score
- 665
- Points
- 113
1. Ask for a favor
We are talking about the effect known as the Benjamin Franklin effect. Once Franklin needed to win the favor of a person who really disliked him. Then Franklin politely asked this person to lend him a rare book and, having received what he wanted, thanked him even more politely. Previously, this person avoided even talking to him, but after this incident they became friends.
This story is repeated over and over again. The point is that someone who has once done you a favor is more willing to do it again compared to a person who owes you something. The explanation is simple - a person decides that since you ask for something from him, you yourself will respond to his request if necessary, so he should do the same as you.
2. Demand more
This technique is called "the door in the forehead." You need to ask a person to do more than you really want to get from him. You can also ask to do something ridiculous. Most likely, he will refuse. Soon after, boldly ask for what you wanted from the very beginning - the person will feel uncomfortable about refusing you the first time, and if you now ask for something reasonable, he will feel obliged to help.
3. Call the person by name
The famous American psychologist Dale Carnegie believes that calling a person by name is incredibly important. For any person, their own name is the most pleasant combination of sounds. It is an essential part of life, so its pronunciation seems to confirm the fact of their own existence for a person. And this, in turn, makes you feel positive emotions towards the one who pronounces the name.
The use of a title, social status or the form of address itself has the same effect. If you behave in a certain way, then you will be treated in this way. For example, if you call a person your friend, he will soon feel friendly feelings towards you. And if you want to work for someone, call him boss.
4. Flatter
At first glance, the tactic is obvious, but there are some reservations. Unless your flattery seems sincere, it can do more harm than good. Researchers have found that people tend to seek cognitive balance, trying to make sure their thoughts and feelings always match. So if you flatter people with high self-esteem and your flattery sounds sincere, they will like you because you are validating their own thoughts. But flattering people with low self-esteem can lead to negative feelings because your words contradict their self-image. Of course, this doesn’t mean you should put them down — that’s not going to win their sympathy.
5. Mirror
Mirroring is also known as mimicry. Many people use this method naturally, without even thinking about what they are doing: automatically copying someone else's behavior, manner of speech, and even gestures. But this technique can be used quite consciously.
People tend to treat those who are similar to them better. No less curious is the fact that if someone "mirrored" a person's behavior during a recent conversation, then this person will be more pleasant to communicate with other people for some time, even if they had nothing to do with that conversation. The reason is most likely the same as in the case of addressing by name - the behavior of the interlocutor confirms the very fact of the existence of the person.
6. Take advantage of the opponent's fatigue
When a person is tired, he becomes more receptive to other people's words, be it a request or a statement. The reason is that fatigue affects not only the body, but also reduces the level of mental energy. When you ask a tired person for a favor, you will probably get an answer like "Okay, I'll do it tomorrow" - because at the moment the person does not want to solve any more problems. But the next day, the person will most likely fulfill the promise - people, as a rule, try to keep their word, because otherwise they experience psychological discomfort.
7. Offer something that will be awkward to refuse
This is the opposite technique to point number two. Instead of asking for a big favor right away, try starting small. If a person has helped you with something insignificant, they will be more willing to fulfill a more important request.
Scientists tested this method in relation to marketing. They began to agitate people to express support for the environment and the preservation of tropical forests. Quite an easy request, right? When people did what was required, they were asked to buy food - all proceeds would go to preserving these very forests, of course. Most people did this too.
However, be careful: you should not first ask for one thing and then immediately ask for something completely different. It is much more effective to wait a day or two.
8. Know how to listen
Telling someone that they are wrong is not the best way to win someone over. The effect will most likely be the opposite. There is another way to express disagreement without making an enemy. For example, listen to what your interlocutor says and try to understand how he feels and why. Then you will find something in common in your seemingly opposite opinions and you can use this to explain your position. Express agreement first - this way the person will be more attentive to your subsequent words.
9. Repeat after the interlocutor
One of the most effective ways to win someone over and show that you really understand them is to rephrase what they say. Say the same thing in your own words. This technique is also known as reflective listening. Psychotherapists often do this - people tell them more about themselves, and an almost friendly relationship is built between the doctor and the patient.
This technique is easy to use when talking to friends. Formulate what they just said as a question - this way you show that you listened carefully and understood the person, and they will feel more comfortable with you. They will also listen more to your opinion, because you have already made it clear that you care about them.
10. Nod
When people nod while listening to something, it usually means that they agree with the speaker. And it is natural for a person to assume that when someone nods while talking to them, it also means agreement. This is the same mimicry effect. So nod throughout the entire conversation with a person - this will subsequently help you convince the interlocutor that you are right.
We are talking about the effect known as the Benjamin Franklin effect. Once Franklin needed to win the favor of a person who really disliked him. Then Franklin politely asked this person to lend him a rare book and, having received what he wanted, thanked him even more politely. Previously, this person avoided even talking to him, but after this incident they became friends.
This story is repeated over and over again. The point is that someone who has once done you a favor is more willing to do it again compared to a person who owes you something. The explanation is simple - a person decides that since you ask for something from him, you yourself will respond to his request if necessary, so he should do the same as you.
2. Demand more
This technique is called "the door in the forehead." You need to ask a person to do more than you really want to get from him. You can also ask to do something ridiculous. Most likely, he will refuse. Soon after, boldly ask for what you wanted from the very beginning - the person will feel uncomfortable about refusing you the first time, and if you now ask for something reasonable, he will feel obliged to help.
3. Call the person by name
The famous American psychologist Dale Carnegie believes that calling a person by name is incredibly important. For any person, their own name is the most pleasant combination of sounds. It is an essential part of life, so its pronunciation seems to confirm the fact of their own existence for a person. And this, in turn, makes you feel positive emotions towards the one who pronounces the name.
The use of a title, social status or the form of address itself has the same effect. If you behave in a certain way, then you will be treated in this way. For example, if you call a person your friend, he will soon feel friendly feelings towards you. And if you want to work for someone, call him boss.
4. Flatter
At first glance, the tactic is obvious, but there are some reservations. Unless your flattery seems sincere, it can do more harm than good. Researchers have found that people tend to seek cognitive balance, trying to make sure their thoughts and feelings always match. So if you flatter people with high self-esteem and your flattery sounds sincere, they will like you because you are validating their own thoughts. But flattering people with low self-esteem can lead to negative feelings because your words contradict their self-image. Of course, this doesn’t mean you should put them down — that’s not going to win their sympathy.
5. Mirror
Mirroring is also known as mimicry. Many people use this method naturally, without even thinking about what they are doing: automatically copying someone else's behavior, manner of speech, and even gestures. But this technique can be used quite consciously.
People tend to treat those who are similar to them better. No less curious is the fact that if someone "mirrored" a person's behavior during a recent conversation, then this person will be more pleasant to communicate with other people for some time, even if they had nothing to do with that conversation. The reason is most likely the same as in the case of addressing by name - the behavior of the interlocutor confirms the very fact of the existence of the person.
6. Take advantage of the opponent's fatigue
When a person is tired, he becomes more receptive to other people's words, be it a request or a statement. The reason is that fatigue affects not only the body, but also reduces the level of mental energy. When you ask a tired person for a favor, you will probably get an answer like "Okay, I'll do it tomorrow" - because at the moment the person does not want to solve any more problems. But the next day, the person will most likely fulfill the promise - people, as a rule, try to keep their word, because otherwise they experience psychological discomfort.
7. Offer something that will be awkward to refuse
This is the opposite technique to point number two. Instead of asking for a big favor right away, try starting small. If a person has helped you with something insignificant, they will be more willing to fulfill a more important request.
Scientists tested this method in relation to marketing. They began to agitate people to express support for the environment and the preservation of tropical forests. Quite an easy request, right? When people did what was required, they were asked to buy food - all proceeds would go to preserving these very forests, of course. Most people did this too.
However, be careful: you should not first ask for one thing and then immediately ask for something completely different. It is much more effective to wait a day or two.
8. Know how to listen
Telling someone that they are wrong is not the best way to win someone over. The effect will most likely be the opposite. There is another way to express disagreement without making an enemy. For example, listen to what your interlocutor says and try to understand how he feels and why. Then you will find something in common in your seemingly opposite opinions and you can use this to explain your position. Express agreement first - this way the person will be more attentive to your subsequent words.
9. Repeat after the interlocutor
One of the most effective ways to win someone over and show that you really understand them is to rephrase what they say. Say the same thing in your own words. This technique is also known as reflective listening. Psychotherapists often do this - people tell them more about themselves, and an almost friendly relationship is built between the doctor and the patient.
This technique is easy to use when talking to friends. Formulate what they just said as a question - this way you show that you listened carefully and understood the person, and they will feel more comfortable with you. They will also listen more to your opinion, because you have already made it clear that you care about them.
10. Nod
When people nod while listening to something, it usually means that they agree with the speaker. And it is natural for a person to assume that when someone nods while talking to them, it also means agreement. This is the same mimicry effect. So nod throughout the entire conversation with a person - this will subsequently help you convince the interlocutor that you are right.
