Protection from psychological pressure

[Teacher]

So you are under pressure: under pressure. For example:

You are asked for something that you would really not want to do, but it is difficult to refuse, since you are dependent on the one asking.
You are offered to do something, you refuse, but they strive to put pressure on you with something.

It is worth recalling that pressure can be exerted using rumors, petty quibbles, hidden threats, hints, etc.

1. To buy time, ask questions. Based on the above examples, in the first case it would be good to ask: "May I disagree?" If the partner said that you are free to choose, then you can refer to this statement and refuse. If a hint of your addiction has been made, try asking if your refusal will entail any consequences.

It is essential for you that the relationship between request and dependence is clear and distinct. Typically, the aggressor seeks to avoid appearing to be the aggressor (especially in the presence of witnesses), and it may turn out that he would prefer to refuse further pressure.

If this relationship was clearly indicated from the very beginning, then the point of questioning will mainly be to buy time to think over further tactics.

In the second case, the pressure from the interlocutor can be weakened by a series of clarifying questions:

What made you think that I refuse to take responsibility? What am I not taking responsibility for? To whom will I answer? Responsibility must be balanced by the granting of power, how will it be expressed?
Why did you decide that I am afraid? What could I be scared of here? Do you find any other explanation for my refusal?
What are your suspicions based on? Why did you make this assumption? How can you verify your information? Have you checked this information?
The main point of these inquiries is to find out exactly the reasons why your partner has a power advantage. That is, you should:

2. Establish the kind of force that the opponent uses. You really need to identify the source of his power over you. Then you can more accurately organize the rebuff.

Maybe he is counting only on a cry - he will competently not give in, but wait until his loud stock runs out, when he starts scrolling the same techniques a second time. Then the third ... Or, perhaps, the pressure is organized through those present: "Just look ...", "Tell me ...", "It is clear to everyone that ...". Do not be discouraged, carefully study the reactions of those to whom these phrases seem to be addressed. The mere fact that you are considering these people compels them to give you some kind of signal. Very rarely there is complete unanimity of observers. It may turn out that there is someone who will come to your defense. And, at least, you can always turn the silence of those present to your advantage.

The main thing - do not let yourself be broken, calmly and slowly object. Look for opportunities to question the type of strength identified or to weaken it in some other way.

For example, there is a reference to authority - we weaken either the authority, or the scope of applicability of the judgment: they say, for a given case, it is not suitable, or only partially suitable. If the partner focuses on his age - find arguments in favor of your age as well.

Do not belittle his arguments in and of themselves (keep the perspective of cooperation), but limit their applicability to any objective considerations. For example, a partner is counting on a previous good relationship with you or previously provided services. Without belittling them, show how difficult it is for you to do what is expected of you. Explain in detail the nature of your problems, show why they outweigh the strength of the previous services. Of course, all this must be true.

If your partner is trying to influence you through a high rate of communication (swoop), come up with an excuse to stop: say that you need to call, turn off the kettle, leave - anything that can serve as a convenient excuse and will allow you to interrupt the onslaught. Then set a slower, more comfortable pace of the conversation. And every time he starts to rush you, ask again about any detail, "study the problem." The method, of course, is bureaucratic, but if a partner can use an "unclean" method, then it is not always "clean" to resist. But this must be done just enough to suspend the partner. You should abandon the admission as soon as it begins to destroy your relationship.

Next, if you are still not sufficiently protected, try:

3. Find a new kind of strength, in which you are stronger. This can be: someone else's support, a previous relationship, your role as a moneymaker or organizer of orders for the company, etc.

For the sake of preserving the prospect of cooperation, it is best to avoid using explicit repressive pressures. It is best if your arguments relate to any previous agreements. It is good if you can expand the logic of inquiries in such a way that circumstances or objective requirements suggest a different solution - great if it suits both sides (the strength of your ability to analyze a problem is combined with the strength of objective circumstances) ...

Make sure that you do not get carried away in carrying out attacks on your partner, do not revel in your qualifications as a debater. After all, all you need to do is to align the balance of power. Once you have completed the task of neutralizing the pressure, look for an opportunity to agree on how you can solve the problem, what needs to be done to do this. Then you can discuss how you will interact in similar situations from now on. That is:

4. Offer cooperation. Offer it by the very style of behavior, the nature of the agreements. The main protective effect will be that you have found ways to weaken (destroy) the pressure from the partner and oppose your own strength. And then there is a promising result: you accustom your partner to the fact that it is useless to put pressure on you.

Within the framework of the orientation towards cooperation, the struggle for future relationships is more important than for the immediate benefit (note, the struggle, but not with a partner, but for a relationship). Therefore, even if you lose in this situation and you have to give in, it will be useful to somehow outline the development perspective. There is no point in blaming or trying to infringe on the offender, it is better to leave something (maybe, just as it were) unspecified, unclear, in order to preserve the opportunity to return to this problem. Yes, you obey, you surrender, but you do not agree with this outcome, and expect to change something else.

Avoid threats. Returning to the problem is analyzing it. It will not be difficult for your partner to admit the incorrectness of his behavior after he has achieved his goal. While he is "kind", pronounce this confession from him. Later, the very reminder of this conversation will become an obstacle to the recurrence of psychological abuse. And even if the partner manages to overcome such an obstacle then, the next portion of your influence will be added to the previous one. Gradually, you will "tune" your partner to a more peaceful way.

 

[Brother]

Psychological pressure​

Do you feel that psychological pressure is often put on you? If you are a calm and confident person, then you will probably want to answer that you practically do not face this. But in vain! The methods of influence can be completely different, and often the “victim” does not even realize that she has just been pressed. All of this has a huge impact on your life! If you don't feel like falling into this trap anymore, read our article and use the knowledge for psychological self-defense.

MAIN TYPES OF PSYCHOLOGICAL PRESSURE
Psychological pressure is the influence on other people, carried out in order to change their psychological attitudes, opinions, judgments and decisions. It may seem that only strong and result-oriented people resort to it, but this is not the case. A confident person will act directly and openly, rather than looking for workarounds, causing inconvenience to others. There are many types of psychological pressure that you probably have to deal with in life.

COMPULSION
Coercion is a direct, undisguised influence on another person. They resort to it only when there is some kind of force, otherwise no one will succumb. Examples of such strength are physical qualities, power, money, information. The person who is being forced to do something knows about the ongoing process - as opposed to manipulation. You can try to protect yourself from him by hinting to the “oppressor” that he is acting aggressively - some people do not like to admit this. However, if this does not bother a person, then it is very difficult to resist this type of pressure.

HUMILIATION
Another type of psychological pressure, expressed in the aggressor's desire to morally “crush the victim”. In this situation, you can hear a lot of hard-hitting things about yourself: you are stupid, scary, awkward, user, disorganized, etc. … Being in a state of psychological prostration, you lose control over the situation, and at this moment it is very convenient to press on you: “At least you can do this?”. The idea is that, being in a sober mind, you would never agree, but here psychological defense mechanisms and the desire to prove your own worth come into play. By the way, this technique works exclusively due to self-doubt.

SIDE CARE
This type of psychological pressure stands apart from everyone else, since its essence lies in attempts to starve you out. Simply put, when they are trying to put pressure on you, and you want to clarify this, the person starts to slip on extraneous topics or even goes into a “defensive defense”: “Well, what are you, huh?”. Or asks why you keep saying nasty things about him. In this case, it is necessary each time to track the moment of leaving and return to the starting point: “No, we'll figure it out later, we're talking about you now.” If you are persistent, then there is a chance that the aggressor will lag behind you with his pressure.

SUGGESTION
Suggestion is a type of psychological impact on a person, after which he begins to uncritically “swallow” information imposed on him from the outside. A person using this method must be an authority for his victim, otherwise the trick will not work. An extreme version of suggestion is various kinds of influence or hypnosis, but it can also be used in the waking state. For this, as a rule, games with voice, intonation and other semi-conscious moments are used. Paradoxically, there are people who do not lend themselves to suggestion at all, and then everyone thought to himself, but this is not so.

BELIEF
The most rational kind of psychological pressure. It appeals to reason and human logic. That is why only people with a normal level of intelligence and development of thinking are subject to him - the rest simply will not understand what they are being told about here. Speech, which includes beliefs, is usually as logical, consistent and convincing as possible - as soon as the victim's consciousness catches the slightest inconsistencies, the whole structure immediately collapses.

MANIPULATION
It is this type of psychological pressure that one has to deal with most often. Its essence boils down to the desire to change the behavior, worldview or perception of another person using a hidden, violent or deceptive strategy.
As a rule, the interests of the manipulator are realized at the expense of the victim, which is why manipulation is considered unethical. Psychologists' views on this differ greatly. Some believe that the result of an action sometimes justifies the means. For example, when a doctor convinces a patient to start taking medication. Or the mother, wanting the child to put on a hat, asks him: "Which hat are you going to wear - red or blue?" - without giving the opportunity to choose. Others rightly believe that a person needs to be provided with all the information, but respect his freedom of choice and decision, even if it seems to us wrong.
In any case, manipulations aimed, albeit indirectly, at realizing the interests of the “victim” are extremely rare. Usually it is still a desire to gain personal gain at the expense of others. Manipulation is a hidden type of psychological pressure - a person does not understand either the real motives of the manipulator or the fact of influence. The gain in this case is exclusively one-sided.

Naturally, it is not easy to manipulate people - this requires a certain level of knowledge of psychology, the ability to feel other people's weak points, composure and prudence. The person who decides to do this is cruel enough and does not worry about harming the victim.
Manipulators rely on different foundations, thanks to which they manage to control human consciousness. Needs and desires have been used since ancient times to have a psychological impact on a person. Take, for example, the well-known Russian passion for "freebies" - the desire to get the maximum win with the minimum cost, thanks to which many scammers have become rich.

Each of us in life is guided by certain ideals and values, which include ideas about good and evil, about what is right and wrong. So, relying on them, it is quite easy for another person to manipulate us. For example, giving alms to a beggar seems to be an act of kindness and compassion, although it has long been known that most of these donations go into the pockets of the fraudsters behind it.

Intelligence and logic can also be manipulated. For example, using complex and long diagrams, with the calculation of numerous numbers and cause-and-effect relationships. This is often used by network marketing professionals who urge you to join their cause: “Invest just three kopecks and get huge profits from the following sources ...”. As a rule, several logical errors are laid in this scheme, thanks to which you see the result that is beneficial to the manipulator.

It is very convenient to manipulate a person's irrational ideas. These include beliefs and beliefs, divorced from objective reality, which are formed during a person's life and which are very difficult to change from the outside. They are full of them in the minds of each of us, for example:

• I have to take responsibility for everything.
• If you are asked for something, then you must help.
• I must always empathize and help other people.
• For any service you need to thank.
• Everyone around should love me.

It is enough for a manipulator to “press” on one of these “sore calluses”, and a person turns into a practically trouble-free creature. Moreover, the power of these attitudes is enormous, and thanks to them, almost any unpleasant and inconvenient actions can be achieved from us.
Well, the most fertile ground for manipulation is our feelings and emotions. When someone makes you feel anxious, it turns out to be very easy to use it for your own selfish ends. Women manipulate men, men manipulate women, parents manipulate children, and vice versa. For example: “You love me and you won't allow me to go by public transport”. And so it can go on indefinitely, since feelings are an inexhaustible source of energy.
It is worth noting that we are manipulated almost everywhere. Full, full of psychological pressure at work, in politics, advertising, relationships, and just in everyday life. As a rule, if you see that a person is prone to manipulation in one area of his life, he will do the same in others.

METHODS OF PSYCHOLOGICAL INFLUENCE
Psychological pressure can be embodied in a variety of techniques - here, as they say, everything depends on the aggressor's imagination. However, the basic methods of manipulating consciousness must be known to every person in order to resist them. As you know, forewarned means armed, and this one hundred percent concerns everything that is connected with psychological pressure. So, what do amateurs most often use to influence the minds of fellow citizens?

TRANCE
One of the oldest ways to influence the human psyche. It immerses our consciousness in a special state in which the ability to analyze information and make informed decisions is lost. Perception focuses on one thing that is naturally beneficial to the manipulator. You can enter a trance in different ways - most often monotonous stimuli are used, for example, monotonous speech, rapidly changing pictures, swinging a pendulum, etc. ... In such a state, the consciousness is especially vulnerable to pressure, so you can be verbally suggested something or provoke you to undesirable actions.

TRIGER WORDS
These are words that carry an emotional and semantic connotation that is important for the "victim". Sellers who want to sell their goods often resort to them: “Buy a more reliable TV, a more elegant fur coat, more fashionable shorts ...”. They reflect any assessment or quality that the “victim” wants to possess.

ADJUSTMENT
It is expressed in the fact that a person copies certain components of your behavior: intonation, breathing rhythm, posture, manner of speaking, gaze, gait, etc. ... It would seem that there is nothing wrong with this, but after the adjustment, the psychological impact begins immediately. You are already on the same wavelength with the person, and it is much easier for him to “lead” you in the right direction.

AUTHORITIES LINK
When you need to convince someone of something, it is often enough to refer to an expert in the field, and all - victory is in your pocket. Incidentally, this is a classic version of psychological pressure. Oddly enough, the authorities can also be wrong, but this remains behind the scenes.

ALIEN'S GAMES
No, no, these are not the same fun exercises - rather, schemes for manipulating another person. There are a great many of them. For example, a child who behaves in an exemplary manner periodically does something out of the ordinary. Perhaps he is just mischievous, but more often the case is different: the child wants to be praised for good behavior, which is perceived by adults as the norm. After wrongdoing, the likelihood of receiving praise increases as the parents see the contrast. Another example: at work, the boss calls the subordinate and asks him to do a bunch of things by tomorrow. The subordinate's eyes go up to the forehead, after which the boss says: “Well, okay. Do this at least. "And the subordinate happily runs away to carry out the assignment, although initially he would never have subscribed to it.

GRATITUDE
Reception of pressure consists in the fact that the person first provides you with some insignificant service that you may not even have asked for, and then insistently hints that it would be nice to thank him for it.

Weak
Each of us is familiar with this technique since childhood, when you are offered a choice: either you do what is required of you, or you will turn out to be bad. Everyone who is not lazy resorts to it: men, colleagues, bosses, friends and acquaintances, shop assistants. Paradoxically, it works!

THE IMAGE OF AN ILLUSTRATIVE FUTURE
They paint a picture for you in paints, what will happen if you do what they want from you. Our essence is so arranged that it strives for a state of joy and psychological comfort, and we are ready for anything to achieve them. At the same time, the possible inconveniences for us from such an action are simply not taken into account.

AWESOME IMAGES
If the above methods do not work, then the person can be shown how bad it will be if the action is not carried out. For example, the boss says, “If you don't get the report done, the company will face fines.” Fear overpowers and you agree.

HOW TO RESIST PSYCHOLOGICAL PRESSURE
Oddly enough, it is much easier to resist psychological pressure than to exert it. The first step is to realize that you are being manipulated. You can see in the behavior of the partner signs of the methods of influence described above. Persisting in drawing your attention to certain aspects of the problem and ignoring others should also alert you - as should generous promises that raise reasonable doubt. In your state, during manipulation, inexplicable sympathy for your partner, sharp fluctuations in feelings, feelings of lack of time, guilt, and obligation may appear - all these things should be a signal that you are being manipulated.
Next, you should correctly inform the interlocutor that he is "brought out to clean water." You may question the appropriateness of the actions and decisions that he requires of you. Then offer your own version of interaction, which, first of all, will suit you, but know that now it is your responsibility to act, and not reciprocal manipulation.

Naturally, the manipulator will resist. In this case, it is useful to ask questions aimed at clarifying the situation: what does he mean when he talks about the problem, what objective conditions and limitations are there, what should be done to improve the situation, etc. Clarify why the manipulator chose you and right now - all this allows you to track what the aggressor prefers to “press” on.

Well, and the most useful thing is the banal “turn on your senses and brains”. As it was already written above, the main task of the manipulator is to activate feelings, emotions, irrational attitudes, because it is they that promote faith in the words of the aggressor. However, as soon as you get out of the state of compliance and soberly analyze the situation, everything changes dramatically. The urgency in resolving the issue disappears, and you no longer feel special guilt for yourself. Therefore, as soon as it seems to you that you are being manipulated - start analyzing, and most importantly - take your time, always take time to think - it helps you to go beyond the situation and look at it objectively.

In the modern world, it is very important to be able to deal with psychological pressure. We practically abandoned weapons and the use of physical force, respectively, the enemies were left with only such methods of influence. And in order to live happily, you need to be able to recognize them and protect yourself and your loved ones from such gross psychological interference.