Tomcat
Professional
- Messages
- 2,689
- Reaction score
- 967
- Points
- 113
Salute, to those who like to break someone else's account, we always think about the ability to talk, learn eloquence, the art of persuading people, but, unfortunately, we rarely analyze ourselves as a listener. But we must be aware that the ability to listen to our interlocutor will provide additional qualities to our dialogue and will allow us to achieve our communication goals.
No matter how obvious it may seem, but basically all communication is a dialogue or polylogue, and almost never a monologue. But try to analyze your recent conversations: usually we strive to show our best side, to prove to the interlocutor our competence, knowledge of the situation. After all, when we speak, especially when in essence, we feel more confident than when we are silent. Moreover, we simply do not allow our interlocutor to wedge into the conversation, because he may ask a provocative question, which can confuse us or take us by surprise. No matter how beneficial it may seem to us, it destroys our communication.
Let's also remember the concept of a communicative goal. Any dialogue process should have its own purpose, or it is an informal conversation between friends over a beer, an important business meeting, they cannot be aimless in their essence. The goal of a friendly conversation may be relaxation after a hard day's work, and the result of a business meeting, for example, should be the signing of a cooperation agreement. We must have a clear understanding that by not listening to our interlocutor, we provoke a certain prejudice against ourselves. How else do you feel uncomfortable when you are always interrupted and not allowed to say even a few words? Usually, the reaction to such things will be a negative attitude, the interlocutor will begin to close, the dialogue will turn into something forced and artificial, but the result will be failure,
A few tips will help all of us become better listeners and achieve our goals in conversation:
1. Take turns
Remember, you are not the only actor in the theater and this is not a one-man show. Usually people feel ignored when they are constantly interrupted. A good solution would be to give the other person the opportunity to communicate too, your interlocutor will be pleased, and you will have time to think about the discussion or your next remark.
Undoubtedly, at first it is difficult, especially when you have always taken only an active and direct part in the conversation, but a little training and everything should work out.
2. Forget about prejudice
How often do we close our mouths to our interlocutor just for saying something with which we disagree? We are ordinary people, we always have a certain impression of things and attitude towards them, and this is absolutely normal. But you know very well that everything in this world has at least two sides - yes and no, good or bad, right or wrong.
Leave your attitude that has long been formed about this or that thing, and just listen to the interlocutor. You will be surprised how much you learn. Perhaps, in the end, even reconsider your attitude.
3. Practice eye contact
A discussion without eye contact is like a body without a soul. Looking into the eyes of your interlocutor, you show your interest in the conversation, betraying some kind of intimacy to your dialogue.
Some people have difficulty making eye contact because they feel embarrassed and uncomfortable about it. But trust me, eye contact is the thing to stick to during a conversation.
4. Show respect
It is extremely interesting, and most importantly, pleasant to communicate with a cultured and tactful person. Respect is essential for correct and correct coexistence, therefore, do not forget about it.
5. Sign language
Sometimes, without saying anything, you will say much more than a 50-page speech. The message that you want to convey to the interlocutor, if you do not say anything, is clearly visible using sign language, facial expressions, etc. But be careful, body language can easily betray you.
Try to use at least some of these tips, and you will certainly witness how your communication will move to a new higher level and become a reliable tool for achieving your goals.
No matter how obvious it may seem, but basically all communication is a dialogue or polylogue, and almost never a monologue. But try to analyze your recent conversations: usually we strive to show our best side, to prove to the interlocutor our competence, knowledge of the situation. After all, when we speak, especially when in essence, we feel more confident than when we are silent. Moreover, we simply do not allow our interlocutor to wedge into the conversation, because he may ask a provocative question, which can confuse us or take us by surprise. No matter how beneficial it may seem to us, it destroys our communication.
Let's also remember the concept of a communicative goal. Any dialogue process should have its own purpose, or it is an informal conversation between friends over a beer, an important business meeting, they cannot be aimless in their essence. The goal of a friendly conversation may be relaxation after a hard day's work, and the result of a business meeting, for example, should be the signing of a cooperation agreement. We must have a clear understanding that by not listening to our interlocutor, we provoke a certain prejudice against ourselves. How else do you feel uncomfortable when you are always interrupted and not allowed to say even a few words? Usually, the reaction to such things will be a negative attitude, the interlocutor will begin to close, the dialogue will turn into something forced and artificial, but the result will be failure,
A few tips will help all of us become better listeners and achieve our goals in conversation:
1. Take turns
Remember, you are not the only actor in the theater and this is not a one-man show. Usually people feel ignored when they are constantly interrupted. A good solution would be to give the other person the opportunity to communicate too, your interlocutor will be pleased, and you will have time to think about the discussion or your next remark.
Undoubtedly, at first it is difficult, especially when you have always taken only an active and direct part in the conversation, but a little training and everything should work out.
2. Forget about prejudice
How often do we close our mouths to our interlocutor just for saying something with which we disagree? We are ordinary people, we always have a certain impression of things and attitude towards them, and this is absolutely normal. But you know very well that everything in this world has at least two sides - yes and no, good or bad, right or wrong.
Leave your attitude that has long been formed about this or that thing, and just listen to the interlocutor. You will be surprised how much you learn. Perhaps, in the end, even reconsider your attitude.
3. Practice eye contact
A discussion without eye contact is like a body without a soul. Looking into the eyes of your interlocutor, you show your interest in the conversation, betraying some kind of intimacy to your dialogue.
Some people have difficulty making eye contact because they feel embarrassed and uncomfortable about it. But trust me, eye contact is the thing to stick to during a conversation.
4. Show respect
It is extremely interesting, and most importantly, pleasant to communicate with a cultured and tactful person. Respect is essential for correct and correct coexistence, therefore, do not forget about it.
5. Sign language
Sometimes, without saying anything, you will say much more than a 50-page speech. The message that you want to convey to the interlocutor, if you do not say anything, is clearly visible using sign language, facial expressions, etc. But be careful, body language can easily betray you.
Try to use at least some of these tips, and you will certainly witness how your communication will move to a new higher level and become a reliable tool for achieving your goals.
