- I feel sooooo bad, just terrible, I don't want to leave the house, I don't want to at all, I constantly have a headache, I can't really do anything... Everything around me is against me, when will this all end?
- Or maybe you should...
- No, that won't help.
- Or maybe then...?
- Yes, I've already tried everything, nothing helps!!
- But what if so?
- How many times do I have to tell you!!! Nothing helps, I am the most unhappy person in the world!
Karpman's triangle It occurs very often, and much more often than we would like. And those who play this kind of game, as a rule, do not need a solution. They just whine.
And this role is called Victim.
And she just needs to sacrifice, why, complain, so that they feel sorry for her and drain her energy there. And then she will pour this same energy into another place in another role.
So, the game.
Sounds dangerous, right? Read on.
A characteristic feature of this triangle is that it is dynamic.
And the participants in it constantly change roles: therefore, such a “game” does not get boring for a long time and often becomes chronic. Communication within this triangle is simply a wonderful and most effective way not to take responsibility for your actions and decisions .
And also, as a reward for this, you will receive strong emotions and the right not to solve your problems . After all, others are to blame for this.
Comfortable? Total bonuses!!! That's why the game is so popular)))
There is only one way to get out of the triangle - to realize, first, that you are in this triangle, and second, to realize what role you have taken on.
This game is BENEFITABLE for all players. Otherwise everything would just fall apart.
And no matter how much you resist, you yourself are suffering sooo much from this... and you don't know what to do anymore.. This is where the role of the Victim turns on and whine. Without the intention to resolve the issue and change yourself.
If you participate in something, then you need it for some reason. And you GET something from this game.
The question is one: WHAT?
Consider the classic triangle in the family.
The Pursuer parent is an adherent of strictness, and the Rescuer parent takes pity and pampers his baby. What does the child do in this case?
Right! Takes the position of the Victim.
Not wanting to follow strict rules, he pushes their heads (or rather, they themselves collide) with the Pursuer and the Rescuer.
Having thus solved his problem, he goes into the shadows, and the conflict between his parents continues to develop. Then the roles change...
By the way, Husband-Wife-Mistress is Karpman.
Husband-Wife-Mother-in-law - aka.
What does the victim get from playing this game?
Answer: the right not to take responsibility for oneself.
With their complaints, Victims receive a lot of energy, because everyone is trying to help them, save them. BUT! This is impossible !
Why? Correct, because the Victim does not need to be saved.
The victim just needs your time spent on him. And your energy merged into it.
And it is the victim who “appeals to conscience” with lightning speed and many find themselves on the hook at the moment, without even having time to understand what happened. And then, having been pumped with Energy, the Victim can quickly turn into a Persecutor or Rescuer.
At the same time, the Victim does not fundamentally change his beliefs, and avoids adulthood and any responsibility for his actions..
And of course, the presence of the Rescuer feeds and supports the pattern and confirms the “special” human value of the Victim.
The triangle exists as long as one of the participants participates in it.
So the next role:
But the victim does not need to be helped, she needs to suffer. So the game continues.
Professional Rescuers are some best friends. Which are just to chat and take your soul away.
In general, the Rescuer is a rather complex figure from a psychological point of view. He has a desire to show aggression, which he stubbornly suppresses. Although from the outside there are darlings trying to help. He finds his purpose in protecting the Victim.
But the Rescuer doesn't really want to help the victim, otherwise there will be no one to save. And the game continues again until the Rescuer's aggression comes out, then he goes into the status of a Persecutor, but possibly with other people.
Aggressor
He gets his due from the fact that he feels his importance, proving that everyone else is to blame for everything, and he is the most beautiful and not to blame. Usually, such a player has all his moves written down, everything is thought out, and charges have been brought against everyone.
And he also feels very good about the awareness of his own power and superiority.
And yes, the Persecutor by nature strives for leadership and dominance over others. And he manipulates the Victim, completely justifying his actions in his mind.
The persecutor asserts himself again and again, receiving moral satisfaction.
Thus, you can easily understand and find this Role both in yourself and in others.
Well, we've covered all three roles, and now...
2. Quit the game yourself.
Everything is simple here. Realize that you are in Karpman and just stop doing it. Like in the video - Stop It!
Even if you don't notice, a psychologist will help you find criteria and anchors to notice and stop.
3. You can also begin to exit through the development of new functions of connections and roles of the Triangle.
The Victim comes out when he becomes an attentive Student, the Rescuer becomes an Observer, and the Persecutor becomes a wise and kind Teacher.
- Or maybe you should...
- No, that won't help.
- Or maybe then...?
- Yes, I've already tried everything, nothing helps!!
- But what if so?
- How many times do I have to tell you!!! Nothing helps, I am the most unhappy person in the world!
Karpman's triangle It occurs very often, and much more often than we would like. And those who play this kind of game, as a rule, do not need a solution. They just whine.
And this role is called Victim.
And she just needs to sacrifice, why, complain, so that they feel sorry for her and drain her energy there. And then she will pour this same energy into another place in another role.
So, the game.
3 dramatic roles of this game
In different situations, a person takes on different roles, but remains within this triangle. As soon as you take on one role, people will immediately appear in your environment who will take on the remaining two roles.Sounds dangerous, right? Read on.
A characteristic feature of this triangle is that it is dynamic.
And the participants in it constantly change roles: therefore, such a “game” does not get boring for a long time and often becomes chronic. Communication within this triangle is simply a wonderful and most effective way not to take responsibility for your actions and decisions .
And also, as a reward for this, you will receive strong emotions and the right not to solve your problems . After all, others are to blame for this.
Comfortable? Total bonuses!!! That's why the game is so popular)))
There is only one way to get out of the triangle - to realize, first, that you are in this triangle, and second, to realize what role you have taken on.
So, the game itself:
The victim seeks help by turning to the Savior. And if the Savior takes on this role and undertakes to help, the triangle has taken place.This game is BENEFITABLE for all players. Otherwise everything would just fall apart.
And no matter how much you resist, you yourself are suffering sooo much from this... and you don't know what to do anymore.. This is where the role of the Victim turns on and whine. Without the intention to resolve the issue and change yourself.
If you participate in something, then you need it for some reason. And you GET something from this game.
The question is one: WHAT?
Consider the classic triangle in the family.
The Pursuer parent is an adherent of strictness, and the Rescuer parent takes pity and pampers his baby. What does the child do in this case?
Right! Takes the position of the Victim.
Not wanting to follow strict rules, he pushes their heads (or rather, they themselves collide) with the Pursuer and the Rescuer.
Having thus solved his problem, he goes into the shadows, and the conflict between his parents continues to develop. Then the roles change...
By the way, Husband-Wife-Mistress is Karpman.
Husband-Wife-Mother-in-law - aka.
Who initiates and runs the game?
These are the same complainers, whiners, for whom everything is wrong and urgently need to be pitied. Such people try in every possible way to gain attention and compassion for themselves. Surely you have seen how, after a fall, children, before crying, look, “Is there anyone to cry for?”What does the victim get from playing this game?
Answer: the right not to take responsibility for oneself.
With their complaints, Victims receive a lot of energy, because everyone is trying to help them, save them. BUT! This is impossible !
Why? Correct, because the Victim does not need to be saved.
The victim just needs your time spent on him. And your energy merged into it.
And it is the victim who “appeals to conscience” with lightning speed and many find themselves on the hook at the moment, without even having time to understand what happened. And then, having been pumped with Energy, the Victim can quickly turn into a Persecutor or Rescuer.
At the same time, the Victim does not fundamentally change his beliefs, and avoids adulthood and any responsibility for his actions..
And of course, the presence of the Rescuer feeds and supports the pattern and confirms the “special” human value of the Victim.
The triangle exists as long as one of the participants participates in it.
So the next role:
The Rescuer is the very role that feeds the Victim in the first place.
A person who helps a whiner receives a subtle and perverted pleasure - he rises above the Victim, “helping her.”But the victim does not need to be helped, she needs to suffer. So the game continues.
Professional Rescuers are some best friends. Which are just to chat and take your soul away.
In general, the Rescuer is a rather complex figure from a psychological point of view. He has a desire to show aggression, which he stubbornly suppresses. Although from the outside there are darlings trying to help. He finds his purpose in protecting the Victim.
But the Rescuer doesn't really want to help the victim, otherwise there will be no one to save. And the game continues again until the Rescuer's aggression comes out, then he goes into the status of a Persecutor, but possibly with other people.
Aggressor
He gets his due from the fact that he feels his importance, proving that everyone else is to blame for everything, and he is the most beautiful and not to blame. Usually, such a player has all his moves written down, everything is thought out, and charges have been brought against everyone.
And he also feels very good about the awareness of his own power and superiority.
And yes, the Persecutor by nature strives for leadership and dominance over others. And he manipulates the Victim, completely justifying his actions in his mind.
The persecutor asserts himself again and again, receiving moral satisfaction.
Thus, you can easily understand and find this Role both in yourself and in others.
Well, we've covered all three roles, and now...
Ways to get out of the Karpman Triangle.
1. Determine who you are: Victim, Rescuer or Persecutor. Who are you most often? And understand what benefits you get by playing each role.2. Quit the game yourself.
Everything is simple here. Realize that you are in Karpman and just stop doing it. Like in the video - Stop It!
Even if you don't notice, a psychologist will help you find criteria and anchors to notice and stop.
3. You can also begin to exit through the development of new functions of connections and roles of the Triangle.
The Victim comes out when he becomes an attentive Student, the Rescuer becomes an Observer, and the Persecutor becomes a wise and kind Teacher.
How to stop being a Rescuer:
- Do not give direct instructions for action in the form of good advice. If the Victim really doesn't know what to do in some situation, you can offer several options to choose from. But it is not the Rescuer who must choose one of them, but the Victim.
- Without giving advice, you can simply tell how one of your friends got out of a similar situation. Just share information.
- Help not with advice, but with energy. Cheer up the person and inspire him that he will definitely cope with his problems.
- Suggest that the Victim contact someone who can really help, for example, a psychologist. Talk about your incompetence in this matter and point out to the Victim that she came to the “wrong address.”
How to stop being a Victim:
- Stop blaming others for your misfortunes and failures.
- Do not expect that someone will definitely help you, and you will simply “lie on the stove” and approve or disapprove of the advice.
- Raise your self-esteem, develop the ability to make decisions on your own.
- Understand that you are always responsible for what you choose. It is not people who offend you, but you yourself who decide to be offended. It's not people who don't help you, but you who can't help yourself.
- Stop demanding attention and care for yourself. Become such that people are drawn to you not with pity, but with admiration.
- In any situation, ask yourself the question: “What exactly will I do to solve MY problem?”
- Accept people for who they are. No one has to be the way you want to see them! No one is obligated to solve your problems! No one is obliged to love you more than themselves!
- Stop intruding on your friends with your eternal complaints. Talk about troubles, but don't force them to be your Rescuers.
- Learn to think positively! Become self-sufficient!
- Look for the positive in any situation!
- Don't beat yourself up if someone said something wrong or looked at you wrong.
- Love yourself and appreciate those around you!
How to stop being a stalker:
- Increase your self-criticism. Who are you to teach others and force them to do what you think is right?
- Learn to cope with your aggression and anger.
- Develop spiritually.
- Recognize the right of others to have their own opinion and their own personal attitude to life situations.
- Find a favorite activity or hobby that will help you realize yourself and increase your importance.
- Stop blaming the Victim for your problems.
- If you really want to change someone, then change yourself!
