"I Quit": Stories of Those Who Managed to Quit Carding and Start Life with a Clean Slate

[Professor]

On Resocialization, Fears, and Legal Careers of Former Carders​

Preface: This text is based on anonymous interviews, public confessions under changed names, and an analysis of rare cases of successful resocialization. The path from the digital underground to legal life is one of the most difficult, full of inner demons and systemic pitfalls.

Chapter 1: "Bifurcation Point" - Why Did They Decide to Leave?​

Leaving is rarely the result of a sudden epiphany. It's the accumulation of a critical mass of suffering.

1. Max, 28 (former cameraman, Moscow):

• Trigger: "I woke up to a knock on the door. It wasn't the cops — the neighbors had flooded the house. But I couldn't breathe for five minutes with fear. My heart was pounding like crazy. I realized: I'm not living, I'm faking it between panic attacks. My income grew, but I lost the taste of food. Every successful deal didn't make me happier, it only made me more paranoid."

2. Anna, 25 years old (former dropper recruiter, St. Petersburg):

• Trigger: "I recruited people through job postings for 'online sales assistants.' One day, a disabled woman in a wheelchair showed up for an interview. Smart, desperate for a job. I started pitching her the idea of 'easy freelancing,' following my usual formula. She looked at me with such hope... But I knew that within a month, she'd be used as a 'expendable asset' and dumped, or worse, jailed. That evening, I cried for the first time in a long time. I had become what I'd despised in my youth — someone who exploits despair".

3. Dmitry, 32 years old (former technician, bot creator, Yekaterinburg):

• Trigger: "I was a techie, an IT guy. I loved the challenge of bypassing security, writing the perfect script. One day, our 'boss' ordered an attack on a charity for children with cancer. The rationale was, 'They have weak security, and transfers are constantly coming in.' I refused. They told me, 'You're either with us, or we'll screw you over.' At that moment, I realized I was no longer a techie, I was an accomplice. And the line I wasn't willing to cross turned out to be very clear. I was sure I'd be identified and jailed for refusing."

Chapter 2: "Day Zero" - Where does a "clean slate" begin?​

The first steps are the scariest. There are no instructions, no guarantees.

Stage 1: "Digital Suicide."

• What they did: They deleted all working Telegram channels and forum accounts, wiped logs, and burned working SIM cards and emails. Some even completely changed their device and even the operating system.
• Fear: "What if this is a test? What if they think I've gone to the cops and start putting pressure on me?" (Max).

Stage 2: Financial "freeze".

• They had to live off their old, "dirty" savings, knowing that every expense was potential evidence. Or they had to find quick, legal income — often through low-paying work (courier, loader) — to break the cycle of addiction.
• Paradox: "I had two bitcoins in my account. But I was afraid to touch them. I lived on 15,000 a month from my part-time job repairing computers, even though I knew where the millions were." (Dmitry)

Stage 3: Existential vacuum.

• The main narrative of life — "playing against the system" — disappears. A void remains. There's no longer the familiar adrenaline rush, the status in a private chat, or even the feeling of being "chosen."
• Condition: "The first six months were filled with utter apathy. The world became gray and slow. Legal work seemed like a pointless, pittance-filled hustle. I couldn't help but reach for Telegram, just to see how things were going." (Anna).

Chapter 3: "Legalizing Talent" - The Toughest Turn​

Transitioning into legitimate IT/cybersecurity is a dream for many, but the path is littered with mines.

Problem 1: A gap in your resume and the origin of your skills.

• What should I include in my "work experience" for the last five years? "Freelance" will raise questions. A fictitious company is easily verified. I've had to agree to a partial truth : "Independent security testing and research."
• Dmitry: "During an interview at a small IT firm, they asked, 'Show me your pet projects and code.' I had nothing except what I'd written for carding. I showed an abstract traffic analysis script, heavily anonymizing it. They hired me as a system administrator with a paltry salary."

Problem 2: Permanent fear of being "exposed".

• Fear of security checks, especially at banks or large corporations. Fear that old colleagues will find out and blackmail you or simply leak information to your new employer.
• Max: "When the company introduced mandatory security verification, I didn't sleep for three nights. I was ready to hear at any moment: 'Now tell me what CVV2 is and where did you get your skills in fraud analysis?'"

Problem 3: Ethical conflict and overcompensation.

• Some went into cybersecurity (white hats). This was the main paradox: their valuable experience was obtained through criminal means. They knew the black hat mindset from the inside. But they couldn't talk about it openly.
• Dmitry (currently a junior SOC analyst): "I see an attack and immediately understand the logic, the attacker's next step. My colleagues are surprised: 'Where did you get that intuition?' I remain silent. Sometimes I catch myself thinking: 'I could improve this scheme like this...' And I'm overcome with shame. I'm struggling with who I was."

Chapter 4: "The Shadow of the Past" - What Remains Forever​

Even after years, the "ex" does not feel completely "clean".

• A heightened sense of privacy: "I still never show my face in photos on social media, I don't tag my geolocation, and I use a VPN. It's no longer paranoia, but a habit." (Anna, now a manager at a digital agency).
• The trauma of constant surveillance: "I flinch at the sound of a text message. Even if it's a text from my carrier. My brain is forever conditioned to perceive any notification as a threat." (Max).
• Social dissociation: "I can't build deep relationships. How can I tell a girl about five years of my life? Invent a story? Carry this secret inside? It's easier not to let anyone close." (Dmitry).
• Inability to be proud of the past: All their most striking "professional victories" are things that must be kept silent about. This creates a sense of a stolen biography.

Chapter 5: Conditions for a Successful Exit: What Helped Them Get Through This?​

The analysis reveals common patterns:

1. Having an "anchor" in the legal world: Anna had parents to whom she couldn't tell the truth, but for whose peace of mind she held on. Dmitry had an old university professor who trusted him and gave him his first legal development contract.
2. Preparedness for a sharp drop in income and status: Accepting that you'll have to start from the bottom and valuing peace of mind over the value of the latest iPhone.
3. Technical skills that can be converted: Coding, networking, and data analysis skills. This provided at least some support in the job market.
4. Forming a new identity: Finding a hobby, studying, volunteering — something that allowed me to say, "I'm not just who I was. I'm now also who... (teaches children programming, makes furniture, works with animals)."
5. Complete isolation from the old environment: No "just checking in with the guys." One contact could pull you back.

Conclusion: Not redemption, but resilience.
The "I Quit" stories aren't stories of redemption in the classic sense. Society is slow to forgive, and they themselves don't forgive themselves.

These are stories of resilience. They tell stories of how someone who voluntarily descended into the darkest corner of the digital world finds the strength not just to escape, but to build a fragile but real bridge back to reality.

Their greatest victory isn't that they became law-abiding citizens. Their victory is that they stopped fearing the morning knock on the door. That they've learned to taste food again, enjoy simple conversation without subtext, and pay their taxes, experiencing not some abstract "scam" but a boring but valuable norm.

Their journey proves that there are only two ways out of carding: into a legitimate business or into the long, painful, but possible process of returning to oneself. They chose the latter. And every day of their "final work" is a quiet, unnoticed feat, the price of which is an entire stolen youth.