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Maladaptive Daydreaming Syndrome is a mysterious and poorly understood disorder. Most often, pathology occurs in people in childhood, adolescence, less often in adulthood. Obsessive fantasies differ from ordinary ones in that they replace the real world for the dreamer, seem to be something more important and interesting. People with this syndrome can spend hours imagining a variety of stories and plots, while moving, talking, and even trying to portray their own characters. The samizdat "My friend, yes you are a transformer" talked to people whose dreaminess went beyond the norm.
"BECAUSE OF FANTASIES FORGOT TO SLEEP AND EAT"
Autonoma (our hero asked him to present it this way) was bullied by his classmates in high school. The parents did not pay enough attention to the guy, and Autonomus did not have close friends. He escaped loneliness in a fictional world: “I always had a vivid imagination. The first fantasies appeared in early childhood, but they became obsessive closer to high school. I was laughed at because of my weight and because I was “weird”. I was the child that everyone shied away from because he whispers to himself, makes compliments like 'What a beautiful skull shape you have' and draws weirdos."
Gradually, dreams replaced the young man's real life. He says that he began to skip school and pay less attention to his studies - so that there was more time for daydreaming. “When my mother went to work, I just stayed at home and lay in bed, fantasizing. But more often I walked around the city, because my imagination works better while walking or running. My grades worsened, my mood worsened, I could easily yell at someone who distracted me from my fantasies. However, when I got depressed because of all this, the fictional world and the people in my head saved my life, ”the young man shared.
Autonomus talked about the world he created in his head. People with obsessive-dreaming syndrome use the term paracosm to refer to their fictional spaces. The English word paracosm, from which the term originated, can be translated as an anomalous or fictional world.
Paracosm Autonoma is a place of solitude and tranquility, where you can escape from the stresses of the real world. “There is an island in the middle of the endless sea. A group of people lives in a large house on the shore, and there is no one else here except them. People do not know how they got here, how they can get out (and whether it is possible at all) and why everything living on the island is gradually dying out. In the course of the development of the plot, the heroes find answers to these questions. I draw these characters very often and am now trying to make a comic strip about them. "Sometimes the guy just imagines how he walks around the island alone.
Avtonom explains the difference between normal and abnormal daydreaming: “People think you're just too lazy to get off the couch and stop dreaming. However, the truth is that you physically cannot do it. This is the line between ordinary fantasy and maladaptive. All people dream, but only obsessive dreams interfere with normal life. "
A person with obsessive-dreaming syndrome can fantasize for hours. “I don't notice how time flies by,” says Avtonom. - I can rub calluses on my feet because of the long walking here and there, accidentally bump into the walls. I sometimes forget to eat or sleep if the plot of my fantasy is especially interesting. I can “play” my own characters - imitate the expression of their faces, movements. It can be awkward in public places. "However, the most offensive, according to the young man, is that no one takes him seriously when he tries to talk to someone about his disorder. Only a few, the closest friends, treated the problem of Autonomus with understanding.
Avtonom compares fascinating fantasies to a drug: “Obsessive dreams are addiction. However, many of us do not want to get rid of them completely, but instead learn to get along with them and control them. I also adhere to this opinion. I would even like my dreams to come true, but let the opportunity remain to visit this world too. Of course, people without obsessive fantasies can spend their time more productively, but they will never experience the extraordinary emotions that obsessive fantasies can give. "1
Since there is very little information about obsessive fantasies on the Russian-language Internet, Avtonom is studying the disorder according to the works of foreign scientists and is trying to understand its nature. Another guy leads the VKontakte community, where he answers subscribers' questions and tries to support them. “Obsessive dreams are not yet included in the International Classification of Diseases as a separate disorder. If it is recognized, then as a symptom of other diseases - dissociative disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. However, Eliezer Somer (the psychiatrist who coined the term "obsessive dreaming"), together with colleagues, makes great efforts to recognize obsessive dreams as a separate disorder. Sometimes the disease is generally confused with schizophrenia.
Partly because of this, Avtonom did not seek help from a specialist. In addition, according to the guy, for a long time he himself did not understand that obsessive fantasies are a disorder. “I didn't think that there was something wrong with me, that people usually don't spend most of their lives in invented worlds. It seemed to me that it was a common thing for everyone, ”the guy summed up.
"WHEN I DREAM, I Twitch, SWING FROM SIDE TO SIDE AND MOVE HANDS"
Igor is 22 years old. Since childhood, he likes to represent himself as a resident of a luxury apartment from the pages of an advertising catalog or as the owner of a car of the latest model. The guy says that he used to be able to stand over design magazines for up to half an hour, look at photographs of interiors and imagine walking around a beautiful house. “When I opened a magazine with cars, I saw myself in the driver's seat of an expensive open-top car. Everything seemed so realistic to me that I could not notice what was happening around me. I was as if in a trance: jerking, swaying from side to side or moving my arms, as if turning the steering wheel. "
Now that Igor has matured, he increasingly began to imagine himself as the hero of the movie or TV series he liked. “In all my fantasies, I am in the lead role. I can be the leader of a gangster organization - dexterous and fearsome on enemies. I can go over the heads of competitors, and everyone respects me. And somewhere I am an ordinary person, but I have a good income and everything that I dream about. "According to Igor, in his fantasies he is always watched by" spectators ": friends or close friends.
A fantasizing session with Igor can last from five minutes to half an hour: “In general, I spend about a couple of hours a day on daydreaming. But I do not consider this time wasted, because other people also kill him, only a little differently: on films, TV series, computer games. "
It is the appearance during fantasizing that causes Igor the main inconveniences: “Mom and sister used to often 'fired' me for this occupation, the last time was about ten years ago. They always laughed, thought it was my next stupid game. I didn't explain anything to them, I decided - let them think so. With age, I just became more accurate. "
Despite the fact that fantasies do not bring big problems, Igor does not consider them normal. He says: “I tried to stop fantasizing, but it's impossible. It is easier to quit smoking. Sometimes I am driven to the point that I might go crazy, so I try not to get carried away by my dreams. There is nothing wrong with fantasies as long as you know when to stop. "
"A FRIEND LOOKED AT ME LIKE A LOST"
Olga says that as a child she had very vivid dreams with interesting storylines. “During the day, I often 'relived' my dreams, and then began to imagine more and more often. Now in a day I can go through up to a hundred different subjects - it depends on my mood. I can put myself in my favorite books, films, games, come up with pictures to the song I like, ”Olga said.
The girl, like other heroes, admitted: in dreams, she always somewhat idealizes herself. Sometimes an imaginary story becomes so interesting that Olga may not notice someone talking to her: “Sometimes I start to choke - I just forget to take a full breath, sometimes I accidentally say something. Once I was dreaming so much that I fell down the stairs: when I was descending, I slipped and flew over. After that I wanted to stop fantasizing, but nothing came of it."
Olga tried to talk about obsessive fantasies with her friend, but she did not believe the girl: “She looked at me like a leper and recoiled. She said my story is too strange to be true. "After that incident, Olga did not share her story with anyone else.
The girl says that dreams sometimes really exhaust her: “More and more often it seems that I spend more energy on them than on real life. Now I am shortening my dreaming time, I have stopped wandering around to the music for hours. For many years I have learned to somehow control my imagination."
Some of the plots that she invents seem to Olga much more interesting than her usual life. The girl would like her dreams to come true. And she also has absolutely no idea how people live without obsessive fantasies: "It's even hard for me to imagine what a person is thinking if he doesn't have such dreams!"
"IN LIFE I RARELY EXPERIENCE SUCH EMOTIONS AS DURING FANTASY"
Roma has been fantasizing for over ten years. In all dreams, in the first place - an improved version of himself. “As a rule, these are situations from my life. Familiar people, familiar surroundings, but I present myself in a much more favorable light than I actually do. Sometimes I “add” famous people to my fantasies, sometimes I save my loved ones from some kind of catastrophe. For this they love and respect me."
Roma maintains a public page on VKontakte dedicated to obsessive fantasies. The community's audience is about a hundred people, and Roma himself communicates with them in comments and discussions. “I noticed that many fantasies, unlike mine, are of a fantastic nature: they build entire universes. As a child, I also had something similar, but now there is pure realism. "
Only with strangers on the Internet can Roma talk about obsessive dreams. He did not tell his family and friends anything about them. “I am sure that I will face misunderstandings. "Fantasy" - sounds so harmless! For the same reason, I do not go to a psychologist or psychotherapist, ”the guy said.
The desire to dream is sometimes so strong that it prevents the young man from concentrating on business, study and work. “I lead a rather reclusive lifestyle, I feel uncomfortable in large companies. Therefore, I rarely communicate with people, even those close to me. But because of fantasies, relationships with them also suffer, ”says Roma.
Obsessive dreams help Roma kill time and enjoy it. “In my case, fantasies also serve as a defense mechanism. They compensate for the lack of communication, help to forget about complexes and self-doubt. I am a rather depressed person, and fantasies make me feel happy. In life, I rarely experience such strong emotions as during fantasizing, ”the guy said. But at the same time, dreams deprive a person of the incentive to develop and realize himself, thinks Roma.
According to the young man, he simply cannot stop fantasizing. “Obsessive dreams are a lot of problems. I run away to a fictional world because of dissatisfaction with myself, but I do not try to somehow improve in reality. Because of this, discontent is growing. As a result, depression. And then dreams again. Such is the vicious circle."
The young man believes that fantasies help prevent more serious psychological problems - precisely because of their ability to relieve mental pain. However, he admitted that sometimes he “plays” in his head plots related to sad events: the death of a loved one or some kind of catastrophe. "I do it purely for emotions, but of course I don't want to embody such fantasies."
"BECAUSE OF FANTASIES FORGOT TO SLEEP AND EAT"
Autonoma (our hero asked him to present it this way) was bullied by his classmates in high school. The parents did not pay enough attention to the guy, and Autonomus did not have close friends. He escaped loneliness in a fictional world: “I always had a vivid imagination. The first fantasies appeared in early childhood, but they became obsessive closer to high school. I was laughed at because of my weight and because I was “weird”. I was the child that everyone shied away from because he whispers to himself, makes compliments like 'What a beautiful skull shape you have' and draws weirdos."
Gradually, dreams replaced the young man's real life. He says that he began to skip school and pay less attention to his studies - so that there was more time for daydreaming. “When my mother went to work, I just stayed at home and lay in bed, fantasizing. But more often I walked around the city, because my imagination works better while walking or running. My grades worsened, my mood worsened, I could easily yell at someone who distracted me from my fantasies. However, when I got depressed because of all this, the fictional world and the people in my head saved my life, ”the young man shared.
Autonomus talked about the world he created in his head. People with obsessive-dreaming syndrome use the term paracosm to refer to their fictional spaces. The English word paracosm, from which the term originated, can be translated as an anomalous or fictional world.
Paracosm Autonoma is a place of solitude and tranquility, where you can escape from the stresses of the real world. “There is an island in the middle of the endless sea. A group of people lives in a large house on the shore, and there is no one else here except them. People do not know how they got here, how they can get out (and whether it is possible at all) and why everything living on the island is gradually dying out. In the course of the development of the plot, the heroes find answers to these questions. I draw these characters very often and am now trying to make a comic strip about them. "Sometimes the guy just imagines how he walks around the island alone.
Avtonom explains the difference between normal and abnormal daydreaming: “People think you're just too lazy to get off the couch and stop dreaming. However, the truth is that you physically cannot do it. This is the line between ordinary fantasy and maladaptive. All people dream, but only obsessive dreams interfere with normal life. "
A person with obsessive-dreaming syndrome can fantasize for hours. “I don't notice how time flies by,” says Avtonom. - I can rub calluses on my feet because of the long walking here and there, accidentally bump into the walls. I sometimes forget to eat or sleep if the plot of my fantasy is especially interesting. I can “play” my own characters - imitate the expression of their faces, movements. It can be awkward in public places. "However, the most offensive, according to the young man, is that no one takes him seriously when he tries to talk to someone about his disorder. Only a few, the closest friends, treated the problem of Autonomus with understanding.
Avtonom compares fascinating fantasies to a drug: “Obsessive dreams are addiction. However, many of us do not want to get rid of them completely, but instead learn to get along with them and control them. I also adhere to this opinion. I would even like my dreams to come true, but let the opportunity remain to visit this world too. Of course, people without obsessive fantasies can spend their time more productively, but they will never experience the extraordinary emotions that obsessive fantasies can give. "1
Since there is very little information about obsessive fantasies on the Russian-language Internet, Avtonom is studying the disorder according to the works of foreign scientists and is trying to understand its nature. Another guy leads the VKontakte community, where he answers subscribers' questions and tries to support them. “Obsessive dreams are not yet included in the International Classification of Diseases as a separate disorder. If it is recognized, then as a symptom of other diseases - dissociative disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. However, Eliezer Somer (the psychiatrist who coined the term "obsessive dreaming"), together with colleagues, makes great efforts to recognize obsessive dreams as a separate disorder. Sometimes the disease is generally confused with schizophrenia.
Partly because of this, Avtonom did not seek help from a specialist. In addition, according to the guy, for a long time he himself did not understand that obsessive fantasies are a disorder. “I didn't think that there was something wrong with me, that people usually don't spend most of their lives in invented worlds. It seemed to me that it was a common thing for everyone, ”the guy summed up.
"WHEN I DREAM, I Twitch, SWING FROM SIDE TO SIDE AND MOVE HANDS"
Igor is 22 years old. Since childhood, he likes to represent himself as a resident of a luxury apartment from the pages of an advertising catalog or as the owner of a car of the latest model. The guy says that he used to be able to stand over design magazines for up to half an hour, look at photographs of interiors and imagine walking around a beautiful house. “When I opened a magazine with cars, I saw myself in the driver's seat of an expensive open-top car. Everything seemed so realistic to me that I could not notice what was happening around me. I was as if in a trance: jerking, swaying from side to side or moving my arms, as if turning the steering wheel. "
Now that Igor has matured, he increasingly began to imagine himself as the hero of the movie or TV series he liked. “In all my fantasies, I am in the lead role. I can be the leader of a gangster organization - dexterous and fearsome on enemies. I can go over the heads of competitors, and everyone respects me. And somewhere I am an ordinary person, but I have a good income and everything that I dream about. "According to Igor, in his fantasies he is always watched by" spectators ": friends or close friends.
A fantasizing session with Igor can last from five minutes to half an hour: “In general, I spend about a couple of hours a day on daydreaming. But I do not consider this time wasted, because other people also kill him, only a little differently: on films, TV series, computer games. "
According to the young man, there is nothing wrong with his fantasies. They help him to develop: move towards a dream job, a dream car, a dream apartment. “For example, the interior of my current house is similar to the one that I have created in my head a long time ago. I imagined him, and gradually he began to be embodied in reality. There is only one drawback: when I dream, I look like an idiot from the outside, ”the guy said.
It is the appearance during fantasizing that causes Igor the main inconveniences: “Mom and sister used to often 'fired' me for this occupation, the last time was about ten years ago. They always laughed, thought it was my next stupid game. I didn't explain anything to them, I decided - let them think so. With age, I just became more accurate. "
Despite the fact that fantasies do not bring big problems, Igor does not consider them normal. He says: “I tried to stop fantasizing, but it's impossible. It is easier to quit smoking. Sometimes I am driven to the point that I might go crazy, so I try not to get carried away by my dreams. There is nothing wrong with fantasies as long as you know when to stop. "
"A FRIEND LOOKED AT ME LIKE A LOST"
Olga says that as a child she had very vivid dreams with interesting storylines. “During the day, I often 'relived' my dreams, and then began to imagine more and more often. Now in a day I can go through up to a hundred different subjects - it depends on my mood. I can put myself in my favorite books, films, games, come up with pictures to the song I like, ”Olga said.
The girl, like other heroes, admitted: in dreams, she always somewhat idealizes herself. Sometimes an imaginary story becomes so interesting that Olga may not notice someone talking to her: “Sometimes I start to choke - I just forget to take a full breath, sometimes I accidentally say something. Once I was dreaming so much that I fell down the stairs: when I was descending, I slipped and flew over. After that I wanted to stop fantasizing, but nothing came of it."
Olga tried to talk about obsessive fantasies with her friend, but she did not believe the girl: “She looked at me like a leper and recoiled. She said my story is too strange to be true. "After that incident, Olga did not share her story with anyone else.
The girl says that dreams sometimes really exhaust her: “More and more often it seems that I spend more energy on them than on real life. Now I am shortening my dreaming time, I have stopped wandering around to the music for hours. For many years I have learned to somehow control my imagination."
Some of the plots that she invents seem to Olga much more interesting than her usual life. The girl would like her dreams to come true. And she also has absolutely no idea how people live without obsessive fantasies: "It's even hard for me to imagine what a person is thinking if he doesn't have such dreams!"
"IN LIFE I RARELY EXPERIENCE SUCH EMOTIONS AS DURING FANTASY"
Roma has been fantasizing for over ten years. In all dreams, in the first place - an improved version of himself. “As a rule, these are situations from my life. Familiar people, familiar surroundings, but I present myself in a much more favorable light than I actually do. Sometimes I “add” famous people to my fantasies, sometimes I save my loved ones from some kind of catastrophe. For this they love and respect me."
Roma maintains a public page on VKontakte dedicated to obsessive fantasies. The community's audience is about a hundred people, and Roma himself communicates with them in comments and discussions. “I noticed that many fantasies, unlike mine, are of a fantastic nature: they build entire universes. As a child, I also had something similar, but now there is pure realism. "
Only with strangers on the Internet can Roma talk about obsessive dreams. He did not tell his family and friends anything about them. “I am sure that I will face misunderstandings. "Fantasy" - sounds so harmless! For the same reason, I do not go to a psychologist or psychotherapist, ”the guy said.
The desire to dream is sometimes so strong that it prevents the young man from concentrating on business, study and work. “I lead a rather reclusive lifestyle, I feel uncomfortable in large companies. Therefore, I rarely communicate with people, even those close to me. But because of fantasies, relationships with them also suffer, ”says Roma.
Obsessive dreams help Roma kill time and enjoy it. “In my case, fantasies also serve as a defense mechanism. They compensate for the lack of communication, help to forget about complexes and self-doubt. I am a rather depressed person, and fantasies make me feel happy. In life, I rarely experience such strong emotions as during fantasizing, ”the guy said. But at the same time, dreams deprive a person of the incentive to develop and realize himself, thinks Roma.
According to the young man, he simply cannot stop fantasizing. “Obsessive dreams are a lot of problems. I run away to a fictional world because of dissatisfaction with myself, but I do not try to somehow improve in reality. Because of this, discontent is growing. As a result, depression. And then dreams again. Such is the vicious circle."
The young man believes that fantasies help prevent more serious psychological problems - precisely because of their ability to relieve mental pain. However, he admitted that sometimes he “plays” in his head plots related to sad events: the death of a loved one or some kind of catastrophe. "I do it purely for emotions, but of course I don't want to embody such fantasies."
