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Not everyone likes small talk about anything (the weather, politics, health, etc.). But, in fact, they perform a very useful function - they help defuse the situation with friends, get out of an awkward situation or start a conversation in an unfamiliar or completely unfamiliar company. They help to unobtrusively start a conversation and get to know the person.
If you have certain problems starting a conversation with strangers, these 5 simple tips will help you learn to make contacts and stop hiding in corners so that no one will notice, at a crowded party or a gala reception.
To be honest, before it seemed to me that this ability - to unobtrusively start a conversation - is an exceptionally innate talent. With such people, after 5 minutes of conversation, you feel as if you are talking with good old acquaintances. And I personally know such people - there are not so many of them in my environment.
In addition to them, there are people who also easily start conversations with strangers, but after a minute they become like representatives of a Canadian company trying to sell you another set of knives, dishes or a vacuum cleaner. There is a huge difference between the former and the latter. How to understand that you are too carried away, and how to start a conversation correctly? 5 simple tips from Celes, author of the Personal Excellence blog.
1. Ask a question
This is the easiest and most common way to start a new conversation. And many people use it.
"What do you do?" This is a great question to start a conversation in countries with a cult of work. For example, in Singapore or Hong Kong. People in these countries are used to identifying with what they do. So if you know that these people (or a person) love their work and devote a large amount of their time to it, feel free to ask this question. And in response, you will receive a long enough and detailed answer, so that the conversation does not end after a short answer and the subsequent awkward pause. Also, this question is good for conversation at various conferences, seminars and business events. After this, the opening question, you can ask a huge number of "work" questions - "how long has been engaged in this business and how long has been working in this company?", "Do you like this job?".
"What brings you here?" This question is especially useful for a variety of events, be it a home party or a business event. Use the answer to continue the conversation. For example, an answer in the style of "I am here to meet new people" means that this person is inclined to communicate and make new acquaintances. Perhaps you can share interesting social events that are included in your calendar.
"What did you do today?", "What are you doing?" or "What were you doing today?" Sometimes the answers to these questions are standard and uninteresting. But sometimes they can reveal interesting details about the interlocutor.
"How was the event (event)?" If you know where this person was before, use this knowledge to talk. For example, one of your friends or colleagues recently returned from a trip or attended an interesting conference. Ask him about this event.
"What are you doing this week?" Since this question is about what will happen, it is better to ask it in the second part of the conversation in order to fill in the empty space if you can not think of interesting topics in any way.
Do not forget that you may be asked counter questions, so be prepared to answer them.
2. Compliment
For example, the option that works best in a women's company: “What a beautiful dress! It sits so nicely on you. Where did you buy it? "And all the questions that relate to accessories, hairstyles and appearance. A question like“ You look great! Did you have a good rest / went on a diet / started playing sports and so on? "Also works well with men.
Compliments regarding the work done will be pleasant to everyone, without exception. They especially work with open and emotional people.
3. Use surrounding objects as a hook for conversation
If you met at a conference, you can say that you liked the speech of a speaker, indicate which moments made a certain impression and ask the interlocutor what he thinks about it.
Use what is happening around you for conversation without switching to personal topics and thus creating a comfortable atmosphere around you and the interlocutor. After the ice has melted, you can choose more personal themes.
4. Ask for advice or help
Often, one question or a simple request for help can result in a long, engaging and rewarding conversation.
Why does it work? Because people like to help. It gives them a sense of importance, a sense that they have done something useful. And admiring responses to answers make them feel like a senior mentor.
These can be questions about work topics. For example, you can say that you are currently working on a project and would like to know the opinion of a person, since he is an expert in this area.
And even if you don't really need advice, you can still ask for help, as advice given by another person can open up interesting perspectives for you that you have not noticed before.
And the most interesting thing is that a usually silent and modest person can break his standard behavior and show himself from a completely different side. Some people literally thrive when someone asks them a question on a topic they are passionate about and in which they are experts.
5. Tell us something about yourself
What have you been doing lately? What new and interesting things have you learned? What goals do you want to achieve in the near future? Tell us about it.
This method is the opposite of method # 1. - you yourself take the initiative and tell a piece of information about yourself that may interest the interlocutor.
This method is best used when the other person is very shy and is unlikely to start the conversation first. Or if the person did not respond to your question or comment. Then you can start a conversation by being the first to introduce yourself. In this way, you remove yourself from the position of a domineering person (when you ask questions, thereby directing the flow of conversation in the direction you need), open yourself up and allow yourself to be vulnerable (by telling information about yourself, you open up, exposing yourself to potential discussions and evaluations). When a person sees your openness, they can relax and open up to you in response.
How do you start a conversation with strangers?
If you have certain problems starting a conversation with strangers, these 5 simple tips will help you learn to make contacts and stop hiding in corners so that no one will notice, at a crowded party or a gala reception.
To be honest, before it seemed to me that this ability - to unobtrusively start a conversation - is an exceptionally innate talent. With such people, after 5 minutes of conversation, you feel as if you are talking with good old acquaintances. And I personally know such people - there are not so many of them in my environment.
In addition to them, there are people who also easily start conversations with strangers, but after a minute they become like representatives of a Canadian company trying to sell you another set of knives, dishes or a vacuum cleaner. There is a huge difference between the former and the latter. How to understand that you are too carried away, and how to start a conversation correctly? 5 simple tips from Celes, author of the Personal Excellence blog.
1. Ask a question
This is the easiest and most common way to start a new conversation. And many people use it.
"What do you do?" This is a great question to start a conversation in countries with a cult of work. For example, in Singapore or Hong Kong. People in these countries are used to identifying with what they do. So if you know that these people (or a person) love their work and devote a large amount of their time to it, feel free to ask this question. And in response, you will receive a long enough and detailed answer, so that the conversation does not end after a short answer and the subsequent awkward pause. Also, this question is good for conversation at various conferences, seminars and business events. After this, the opening question, you can ask a huge number of "work" questions - "how long has been engaged in this business and how long has been working in this company?", "Do you like this job?".
"What brings you here?" This question is especially useful for a variety of events, be it a home party or a business event. Use the answer to continue the conversation. For example, an answer in the style of "I am here to meet new people" means that this person is inclined to communicate and make new acquaintances. Perhaps you can share interesting social events that are included in your calendar.
"What did you do today?", "What are you doing?" or "What were you doing today?" Sometimes the answers to these questions are standard and uninteresting. But sometimes they can reveal interesting details about the interlocutor.
"How was the event (event)?" If you know where this person was before, use this knowledge to talk. For example, one of your friends or colleagues recently returned from a trip or attended an interesting conference. Ask him about this event.
"What are you doing this week?" Since this question is about what will happen, it is better to ask it in the second part of the conversation in order to fill in the empty space if you can not think of interesting topics in any way.
Do not forget that you may be asked counter questions, so be prepared to answer them.
2. Compliment
For example, the option that works best in a women's company: “What a beautiful dress! It sits so nicely on you. Where did you buy it? "And all the questions that relate to accessories, hairstyles and appearance. A question like“ You look great! Did you have a good rest / went on a diet / started playing sports and so on? "Also works well with men.
Compliments regarding the work done will be pleasant to everyone, without exception. They especially work with open and emotional people.
3. Use surrounding objects as a hook for conversation
If you met at a conference, you can say that you liked the speech of a speaker, indicate which moments made a certain impression and ask the interlocutor what he thinks about it.
Use what is happening around you for conversation without switching to personal topics and thus creating a comfortable atmosphere around you and the interlocutor. After the ice has melted, you can choose more personal themes.
4. Ask for advice or help
Often, one question or a simple request for help can result in a long, engaging and rewarding conversation.
Why does it work? Because people like to help. It gives them a sense of importance, a sense that they have done something useful. And admiring responses to answers make them feel like a senior mentor.
These can be questions about work topics. For example, you can say that you are currently working on a project and would like to know the opinion of a person, since he is an expert in this area.
And even if you don't really need advice, you can still ask for help, as advice given by another person can open up interesting perspectives for you that you have not noticed before.
And the most interesting thing is that a usually silent and modest person can break his standard behavior and show himself from a completely different side. Some people literally thrive when someone asks them a question on a topic they are passionate about and in which they are experts.
5. Tell us something about yourself
What have you been doing lately? What new and interesting things have you learned? What goals do you want to achieve in the near future? Tell us about it.
This method is the opposite of method # 1. - you yourself take the initiative and tell a piece of information about yourself that may interest the interlocutor.
This method is best used when the other person is very shy and is unlikely to start the conversation first. Or if the person did not respond to your question or comment. Then you can start a conversation by being the first to introduce yourself. In this way, you remove yourself from the position of a domineering person (when you ask questions, thereby directing the flow of conversation in the direction you need), open yourself up and allow yourself to be vulnerable (by telling information about yourself, you open up, exposing yourself to potential discussions and evaluations). When a person sees your openness, they can relax and open up to you in response.
How do you start a conversation with strangers?
