Lord777
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If you think that you are a rather callous and unemotional person, not all is lost. Here are some tips for developing empathy.
The carders is unable to solve the problem. He gets angry and says, “I'm stupid! Nothing works for me! "What to do in such cases?
Or another example: the child did not write the test well. They joke about him viciously, and he: “Shut up! I hate math!"
Such cases are not uncommon, any teacher has come across something similar. Children get upset that they don't understand something, quarrel with each other, worry that they are not popular.
What do you usually do? For example, in the first case, you will most likely say that he is not stupid, that everything will work out for him, you just have to try again. And in the second case, choose other words: “Guys, don't be cruel. And you should work out these mistakes and the score will improve."
Do you think these words will help your child feel better? Will he want to work on the bugs and solve the problem again?
No.
Why?
Because in this case, the teacher ignores the child's emotions, focuses on what needs to be done to correct the assessment / solve the problem. What does the child feel at this moment? He thinks that no one understands him, he is lonely and does not have the strength to cope with failures.
What will help?
The manifestation of empathy will help. A few minutes of active inclusion in the inner world of the child - and miraculously he will be transformed into a person full of strength.
In the past five years, there have been hundreds of times more research on empathy than ever before. The surge in interest in empathy was influenced by the discovery of mirror neurons and mirror neural networks. This finding is based on the perception-action hypothesis. This means that when we observe the state or actions of another person, we have the same neurons that would be active if we ourselves were in this state or performed this action.
How it works?
It's important not only to recognize how the other person is feeling. It is important to show him that you understand him. It is necessary to "return" a person to his state, to hear him. Everyone wants to know in difficult times that someone nearby understands what is happening to you.
I remember how I told my mother about the first two, she said: "These are all little things, you shouldn't worry." And immediately there was a feeling that I was alone on this planet and no one cares about my feelings. After this incident, I less and less shared my experiences with my mother.
Such statements make it clear to the child that his feelings are not worth attention.
So that the child does not close from you, there is a specific technique that helps to show empathy correctly. It's called empathic listening.
Empathic, or active listening, is a technique that helps to establish contact with the inner world of another person. By following these simple rules, you will be able to understand your interlocutor. Here's what to do:
It is also extremely important to look the other person in the eye. Do not talk to your child while filling out a magazine, erasing from the blackboard, watching TV, show with your posture that you are ready to listen carefully to him right now.
Showing empathy leads to wonderful results. Not only does the child change, but also the adult who shows empathy. You will become less critical of the child, it will become easier for you to understand and support him.
Can empathy be developed?
If you think that you are a rather callous and unemotional person, not all is lost. Here are some tips for developing empathy:
Develop your sensitivity and show it - new horizons of interpersonal relationships will open for you.
The carders is unable to solve the problem. He gets angry and says, “I'm stupid! Nothing works for me! "What to do in such cases?
Or another example: the child did not write the test well. They joke about him viciously, and he: “Shut up! I hate math!"
Such cases are not uncommon, any teacher has come across something similar. Children get upset that they don't understand something, quarrel with each other, worry that they are not popular.
What do you usually do? For example, in the first case, you will most likely say that he is not stupid, that everything will work out for him, you just have to try again. And in the second case, choose other words: “Guys, don't be cruel. And you should work out these mistakes and the score will improve."
Do you think these words will help your child feel better? Will he want to work on the bugs and solve the problem again?
No.
Why?
Because in this case, the teacher ignores the child's emotions, focuses on what needs to be done to correct the assessment / solve the problem. What does the child feel at this moment? He thinks that no one understands him, he is lonely and does not have the strength to cope with failures.
What will help?
The manifestation of empathy will help. A few minutes of active inclusion in the inner world of the child - and miraculously he will be transformed into a person full of strength.
In the past five years, there have been hundreds of times more research on empathy than ever before. The surge in interest in empathy was influenced by the discovery of mirror neurons and mirror neural networks. This finding is based on the perception-action hypothesis. This means that when we observe the state or actions of another person, we have the same neurons that would be active if we ourselves were in this state or performed this action.
How it works?
It's important not only to recognize how the other person is feeling. It is important to show him that you understand him. It is necessary to "return" a person to his state, to hear him. Everyone wants to know in difficult times that someone nearby understands what is happening to you.
I remember how I told my mother about the first two, she said: "These are all little things, you shouldn't worry." And immediately there was a feeling that I was alone on this planet and no one cares about my feelings. After this incident, I less and less shared my experiences with my mother.
Such statements make it clear to the child that his feelings are not worth attention.
So that the child does not close from you, there is a specific technique that helps to show empathy correctly. It's called empathic listening.
Empathic, or active listening, is a technique that helps to establish contact with the inner world of another person. By following these simple rules, you will be able to understand your interlocutor. Here's what to do:
- "Uh-huh" - nod and "hug" when you listen to the interlocutor. We are all pleased to see the feedback from the listener, to understand that now he is busy only with us.
- Pronouncing feelings and emotions. When the other person is emotionally telling you something, say what you think they are feeling. He will be pleased to know that you have caught his mood.
- Paraphrasing and retelling. When the other person has finished a long thought, he will be flattered if you briefly retell what he said and ask if you got the main idea correctly. This will show how attentively you listened.
- Clarifying questions. What do people like to talk about the most? About myself, of course. Clarifying questions speak about your interest in the interlocutor and the topic raised by him.
- Repetition of phrases. It is better to use when the person is silent and thoughtful - this will show him that you listened to him carefully and patiently wait for the continuation.
It is also extremely important to look the other person in the eye. Do not talk to your child while filling out a magazine, erasing from the blackboard, watching TV, show with your posture that you are ready to listen carefully to him right now.
Showing empathy leads to wonderful results. Not only does the child change, but also the adult who shows empathy. You will become less critical of the child, it will become easier for you to understand and support him.
Can empathy be developed?
If you think that you are a rather callous and unemotional person, not all is lost. Here are some tips for developing empathy:
- try to observe the manifestations of other people's feelings as much as possible in order to read them correctly. Go to the theater, watch emotional films, look carefully at the people around you. Feel free to verbalize their emotions to make sure your assumptions are correct.
- Listen empathically. Every day. Every student. Every person close to you.
- when talking, pay more attention to the body and facial expressions, words can be a lie, but the body never lies.
- When making decisions, try to rely on your feelings more often than on rational reasoning.
Develop your sensitivity and show it - new horizons of interpersonal relationships will open for you.
