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Salute, for those who like to fuck up someone else's account, you were accidentally or intentionally insulted. Hurt? What's the point? And why? Why did you take this insult personally? Do you feel guilty? Haven't you learned how to respond to such psychological attacks?
And what is an insult in its essence? Let's turn to Wikipedia.
"Insult (invective vocabulary) – deliberate or negligent humiliation of the honor and dignity of another person, expressed in an indecent form, i.e. a form that contrasts with the norms accepted in the society in which the act is performed. An insult can be inflicted verbally, in writing, by action, in public, both in the presence and in the absence of the victim. When insulting the victim, information that is shameful is not reported, but a negative assessment of his personality is given in a rough form."
If you know the enemy by sight, it's easier to fight. Is it necessary? I have long developed a certain tactic for responding (or rather, NOT responding) to insults. When a person deliberately wants to offend you, ask yourself the question – WHY? Why is he doing this? Does he want to humiliate you in order to elevate himself? Then his act evokes compassion. A person can only assert himself in this way. Or maybe he wants to hit a nerve to make you lose your temper. What for? He looks for a lightning rod in you, wants to drain his irritation somewhere. Always think-why?
Leo Tolstoy also said: "It's all about thoughts. Thought is the beginning of everything. And thoughts can be controlled. And so the main thing for improvement is to work on your thoughts."
If you immediately start reacting thoughtlessly after the insult, your abuser will celebrate the victory. WHY? Why give him the opportunity! How do we respond to insults? A fool is a fool. Does it look familiar? When you see this from the outside, you realize that both of them are these very stupid people. One of them, due to the lack of upbringing and self-control, allowed himself to do this, and the second, having tuned in to its destructive wave, accepted the conditions of this "game". Both are worthy of compassion.
Sometimes we get insulted so unexpectedly that we don't even have time to react positively. Hurtful words hurt, sharp needles enter the very heart. We don't know what to say in the first minute, but "after the fight" we come up with a plan for revenge. Now stop and look at the situation as if from the outside. Stupid and funny. Wit on the stairs. What we spend our precious lives on! The person has long forgotten about his attack, and you carefully and scrupulously cultivate the seeds of revenge in YOUR soul. And they are systematically destroying you from the inside out. WHY?
If you still realize that you are the master of your thoughts, and not the other way around, stop and imagine the whole situation from space. Are you crying now? Are you offended? What would it look like on a cosmic scale? Negligible and not worth your nerves. It's even funny – because of such a trifle, so many experiences. Calmed down? And now go to the window and carefully, but the smallest lines consider some object outside the window. You shifted your focus, took a deep breath, and... you felt better.
And how do you continue to build your relationship with the abuser? If this is your friend and he has something to appreciate and love – be sure to talk calmly, put all the dots over the X and openly tell him that his attack has upset you very much. Talk through the situation. Believe me, it will be easier for both you and him. If this is your boss and you still have to communicate with him, then you will have to develop certain tactics of behavior. I have already written about how I reacted to the tyrannical boss, who made insulting employees a daily practice of communicating with the team.
Much later, I "worked out" this technique on him. It's called the Aquarium. When our boss gathered everyone for a meeting and started shouting and insulting half a turn, I immediately imagined him in the aquarium, like a fish that opens its mouth, but no words can be heard. Such a protective shell was put on myself. And his words bounced off me like balloons, missing their mark. I was probably the only one in the entire department who could keep a sober mind after such unfortunate meetings. Everyone else was out of sorts for the rest of the day.
"A gentle answer removes malice; hurtful words arouse anger." (John Ruskin).
Also a good reception. Only it requires a certain hardening, endurance. Respond politely to malicious insults. Or at least say calmly: "How rude and rude you are." Sometimes it acts like a tub of cold water on the abuser. In any case, you will get a pause and will be able to retreat from the battlefield with your head held high.
The most unfortunate response technique, in my opinion, is to shout something stupid in response. Of course, this way you become a twin-brother and descend to the level of this ill-mannered type. But sometimes it helps to relieve tension. Especially if you took it two octaves higher.
Taking a splash of negative emotions into the water helps much better. Open the faucet and just shout whatever is boiling into the water jet. How well it helps. Wash your face with cool water and go get positive emotions. The conflict is resolved. You were smarter! Give yourself a high five and try to draw sensible conclusions from this situation.
The man showed his true colors. Can you redo it? Thankless work. Either you accept him for what he is, or you end your relationship with him. The choice is always yours! The main thing is not to stoop to the role of a victim. Have a good day and conflict-free contacts.
And what is an insult in its essence? Let's turn to Wikipedia.
"Insult (invective vocabulary) – deliberate or negligent humiliation of the honor and dignity of another person, expressed in an indecent form, i.e. a form that contrasts with the norms accepted in the society in which the act is performed. An insult can be inflicted verbally, in writing, by action, in public, both in the presence and in the absence of the victim. When insulting the victim, information that is shameful is not reported, but a negative assessment of his personality is given in a rough form."
If you know the enemy by sight, it's easier to fight. Is it necessary? I have long developed a certain tactic for responding (or rather, NOT responding) to insults. When a person deliberately wants to offend you, ask yourself the question – WHY? Why is he doing this? Does he want to humiliate you in order to elevate himself? Then his act evokes compassion. A person can only assert himself in this way. Or maybe he wants to hit a nerve to make you lose your temper. What for? He looks for a lightning rod in you, wants to drain his irritation somewhere. Always think-why?
Leo Tolstoy also said: "It's all about thoughts. Thought is the beginning of everything. And thoughts can be controlled. And so the main thing for improvement is to work on your thoughts."
If you immediately start reacting thoughtlessly after the insult, your abuser will celebrate the victory. WHY? Why give him the opportunity! How do we respond to insults? A fool is a fool. Does it look familiar? When you see this from the outside, you realize that both of them are these very stupid people. One of them, due to the lack of upbringing and self-control, allowed himself to do this, and the second, having tuned in to its destructive wave, accepted the conditions of this "game". Both are worthy of compassion.
Sometimes we get insulted so unexpectedly that we don't even have time to react positively. Hurtful words hurt, sharp needles enter the very heart. We don't know what to say in the first minute, but "after the fight" we come up with a plan for revenge. Now stop and look at the situation as if from the outside. Stupid and funny. Wit on the stairs. What we spend our precious lives on! The person has long forgotten about his attack, and you carefully and scrupulously cultivate the seeds of revenge in YOUR soul. And they are systematically destroying you from the inside out. WHY?
If you still realize that you are the master of your thoughts, and not the other way around, stop and imagine the whole situation from space. Are you crying now? Are you offended? What would it look like on a cosmic scale? Negligible and not worth your nerves. It's even funny – because of such a trifle, so many experiences. Calmed down? And now go to the window and carefully, but the smallest lines consider some object outside the window. You shifted your focus, took a deep breath, and... you felt better.
And how do you continue to build your relationship with the abuser? If this is your friend and he has something to appreciate and love – be sure to talk calmly, put all the dots over the X and openly tell him that his attack has upset you very much. Talk through the situation. Believe me, it will be easier for both you and him. If this is your boss and you still have to communicate with him, then you will have to develop certain tactics of behavior. I have already written about how I reacted to the tyrannical boss, who made insulting employees a daily practice of communicating with the team.
Much later, I "worked out" this technique on him. It's called the Aquarium. When our boss gathered everyone for a meeting and started shouting and insulting half a turn, I immediately imagined him in the aquarium, like a fish that opens its mouth, but no words can be heard. Such a protective shell was put on myself. And his words bounced off me like balloons, missing their mark. I was probably the only one in the entire department who could keep a sober mind after such unfortunate meetings. Everyone else was out of sorts for the rest of the day.
"A gentle answer removes malice; hurtful words arouse anger." (John Ruskin).
Also a good reception. Only it requires a certain hardening, endurance. Respond politely to malicious insults. Or at least say calmly: "How rude and rude you are." Sometimes it acts like a tub of cold water on the abuser. In any case, you will get a pause and will be able to retreat from the battlefield with your head held high.
The most unfortunate response technique, in my opinion, is to shout something stupid in response. Of course, this way you become a twin-brother and descend to the level of this ill-mannered type. But sometimes it helps to relieve tension. Especially if you took it two octaves higher.
Taking a splash of negative emotions into the water helps much better. Open the faucet and just shout whatever is boiling into the water jet. How well it helps. Wash your face with cool water and go get positive emotions. The conflict is resolved. You were smarter! Give yourself a high five and try to draw sensible conclusions from this situation.
The man showed his true colors. Can you redo it? Thankless work. Either you accept him for what he is, or you end your relationship with him. The choice is always yours! The main thing is not to stoop to the role of a victim. Have a good day and conflict-free contacts.
