Lord777
Professional
- Messages
- 2,579
- Reaction score
- 1,513
- Points
- 113
You must learn!
You need to go to college!
You must be polite!
You need to learn how to communicate!
You need to rest!
Every day we are surrounded by a huge amount of advice and instructions on how to live properly and what to do. Remember the last time when one of your parents, relatives or just acquaintances sat in front of you and with a worried face began to tell you what to do? Most likely, you even realized the importance and consistency of all the words spoken, but after that you did nothing.
Now imagine that you are long and persistent in explaining, say, to your child that it is important and necessary to study. That you definitely need to greet your neighbor Uncle Petya. And that good kids always do their homework. What will the child do after all this advice? Yes, the same as any normal person.
Nothing.
And what to do?
To ask questions! If a person does not listen to ready-made recipes, but answers questions, the degree of his involvement in the problem increases significantly. How it works?
First, there is an interesting observation: a person forgets 90% of what he heard, and only 10% of what he participated in. Let's check: do you remember what your last conversation with your parents was about? Of course, if it ended 5 minutes before reading this article, the memories are probably fresh. If it was yesterday or a few days ago, only people with a phenomenal memory will be able to reproduce it verbatim. Do you remember your first exam? I remember everything to the smallest detail: from the arrangement of desks to what the teacher was wearing and even the content of his ticket.
The question makes our brain turn on and start working. He is so arranged that he does not like unanswered questions.
Second, by formulating questions correctly, we focus the attention of the interlocutor or audience on the right things. Compare the two questions:
- When will you stop being late?
- How much more efficient do you think we will be when you start arriving on time?
In the first question, we focus the interlocutor's attention on being late, in the second - on the advantages of arriving on time. It would seem, what's the difference? But our brains are designed to get used to focusing on certain repetitive things. And by programming both your brain and the brain of those around you for positive moments, you control the focus of attention and, in part, thinking.
Finally, answering questions, a person passes information deeper through himself and forms his opinion. It is extremely rare that a person, having expressed his opinion on this issue, will think: "Well, I said nonsense!" A person tends to believe in their conclusions, treat them with respect and add weight to them.
The answer to the question, as it were, acquires color from the author himself. For example, by asking the question "How useful do you think it is to learn to recognize the emotions of the interlocutor?", We already imply that learning to recognize emotions is useful. A person can only decide to what extent it is useful. At the same time, we leave complete freedom within the framework that we have defined for the person by the question. Personally, I begin each lesson with children with the question: "How do you think, how effective and useful will we work today?" And you know it works!
Bonus
Finally, I will give a small checklist with which you can construct fairly high-quality questions.
For example:
- Why do we need to learn to control our emotions?
- How interesting is it for you to work on controlling your emotions?
You need to go to college!
You must be polite!
You need to learn how to communicate!
You need to rest!
Every day we are surrounded by a huge amount of advice and instructions on how to live properly and what to do. Remember the last time when one of your parents, relatives or just acquaintances sat in front of you and with a worried face began to tell you what to do? Most likely, you even realized the importance and consistency of all the words spoken, but after that you did nothing.
Now imagine that you are long and persistent in explaining, say, to your child that it is important and necessary to study. That you definitely need to greet your neighbor Uncle Petya. And that good kids always do their homework. What will the child do after all this advice? Yes, the same as any normal person.
Nothing.
And what to do?
To ask questions! If a person does not listen to ready-made recipes, but answers questions, the degree of his involvement in the problem increases significantly. How it works?
First, there is an interesting observation: a person forgets 90% of what he heard, and only 10% of what he participated in. Let's check: do you remember what your last conversation with your parents was about? Of course, if it ended 5 minutes before reading this article, the memories are probably fresh. If it was yesterday or a few days ago, only people with a phenomenal memory will be able to reproduce it verbatim. Do you remember your first exam? I remember everything to the smallest detail: from the arrangement of desks to what the teacher was wearing and even the content of his ticket.
The question makes our brain turn on and start working. He is so arranged that he does not like unanswered questions.
Second, by formulating questions correctly, we focus the attention of the interlocutor or audience on the right things. Compare the two questions:
- When will you stop being late?
- How much more efficient do you think we will be when you start arriving on time?
In the first question, we focus the interlocutor's attention on being late, in the second - on the advantages of arriving on time. It would seem, what's the difference? But our brains are designed to get used to focusing on certain repetitive things. And by programming both your brain and the brain of those around you for positive moments, you control the focus of attention and, in part, thinking.
Finally, answering questions, a person passes information deeper through himself and forms his opinion. It is extremely rare that a person, having expressed his opinion on this issue, will think: "Well, I said nonsense!" A person tends to believe in their conclusions, treat them with respect and add weight to them.
The answer to the question, as it were, acquires color from the author himself. For example, by asking the question "How useful do you think it is to learn to recognize the emotions of the interlocutor?", We already imply that learning to recognize emotions is useful. A person can only decide to what extent it is useful. At the same time, we leave complete freedom within the framework that we have defined for the person by the question. Personally, I begin each lesson with children with the question: "How do you think, how effective and useful will we work today?" And you know it works!
Bonus
Finally, I will give a small checklist with which you can construct fairly high-quality questions.
For example:
- Why do we need to learn to control our emotions?
- How interesting is it for you to work on controlling your emotions?
