If you find yourself finding it difficult to win over your interlocutor, make him open up, learn to listen actively. Here are some tips on the topic.
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Listen sincerely
Try to perceive the person as an unknown book that you can't wait to read. When he speaks, do not be distracted by thinking about your stories and responses - your mental absence in the conversation is felt.
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Don't interrupt
We sometimes do this when a child tells us something that is terribly exciting for him, but not close to us. And we wander somewhere in our thoughts, and then again! - and in the middle of his story we ask: "Aren't you hungry?" Imagine what it is like for the interlocutor at this moment and whether he would like to tell you something else.
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Consider what you heard before answering
That is, do not give in to the impulse to turn the conversation over to yourself or throw out emotions. For example, if a friend tells you that he was cut off on the road by a woman driver, do not boil in response with a remark like “as if men are not reckless!”. Perceive his story from his position, and the interlocutor will be grateful to you.
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Give feedback
Even short remarks like “what are you!”, “And then?”, “Wow…” let the person know that you hear him, that you are interested. And leading questions on the topic will allow him to open up even more.
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React non-verbally
Connect posture, facial expressions and gestures. It's one thing to listen, looking out the window, arms folded, with an expressionless face. And it is quite another to look the interlocutor in the eyes, turn and bend in his direction, express interest with a glance and a smile.
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To summarize: do you want people to want to communicate with you? Be genuinely interested in people - it works better than any special trick.
⠀
Listen sincerely
Try to perceive the person as an unknown book that you can't wait to read. When he speaks, do not be distracted by thinking about your stories and responses - your mental absence in the conversation is felt.
⠀
Don't interrupt
We sometimes do this when a child tells us something that is terribly exciting for him, but not close to us. And we wander somewhere in our thoughts, and then again! - and in the middle of his story we ask: "Aren't you hungry?" Imagine what it is like for the interlocutor at this moment and whether he would like to tell you something else.
⠀
Consider what you heard before answering
That is, do not give in to the impulse to turn the conversation over to yourself or throw out emotions. For example, if a friend tells you that he was cut off on the road by a woman driver, do not boil in response with a remark like “as if men are not reckless!”. Perceive his story from his position, and the interlocutor will be grateful to you.
⠀
Give feedback
Even short remarks like “what are you!”, “And then?”, “Wow…” let the person know that you hear him, that you are interested. And leading questions on the topic will allow him to open up even more.
⠀
React non-verbally
Connect posture, facial expressions and gestures. It's one thing to listen, looking out the window, arms folded, with an expressionless face. And it is quite another to look the interlocutor in the eyes, turn and bend in his direction, express interest with a glance and a smile.
⠀
To summarize: do you want people to want to communicate with you? Be genuinely interested in people - it works better than any special trick.
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