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Salute, today you will learn 8 tips for those who want to learn how to lie correctly.
American psychologist Robert Feldman, who has dedicated his career to studying lies, claims that even the most truthful person, when talking to a stranger, lies on average four times in ten minutes. Interestingly, when talking with relatives or close friends, we cheat even more often.
Lying can be completely harmless - saying this, we do not even notice that we are lying (for example, "you look great"). And maybe serious - when we ourselves know that time (for example, "dear, I never cheated on you").
Most of us believe that they just cannot be deceived: we always know when they lie to us. This is not true.
Lianne Brink, a psychologist at the University of California, Berkeley, who studies lies, argues that it is almost impossible to understand that they are lying to you if the liar is capable. And her colleague from the University of San Francisco Paul Ekman conducted an experiment in which 15 thousand people participated. They were shown a video in which people lie and tell the truth, and asked to where they were lied to recognize. On average, less than half completed the task.
Whatever you teach your children, you yourself know very well that it is good to lie. By the way, a psychologist from the University of Massachusetts Robert Feldman conducted a very interesting study and found out that the most popular children in school are the ones who know how to lie well - because it is interesting to be with them. Indeed, we all have acquaintances who cheat voluptuously, with fantasy; and even knowing in advance that they are lying, we listen to them with great pleasure. But even in essence truthful people sometimes have to lie, even though they do not like to do it.
So, let's learn. What needs to be done to make people believe in your lies?
Remember that the less often you lie, the stronger your reputation as a "truthful" person, the more they will believe you.
And this means that if you do not exchange for petty lies and save this "capital" for the moment when you really need it, the effect will be stronger - no one will doubt you. In general, if you lie, lie in a big way.
Moreover, this time you are not creating lies (using parts of the brain that are responsible for creative processes), but remembering it - that is, doing exactly the same thing that you would do when retelling a true story.
The story you are telling should be as short as possible. Liars often fail by telling endless stories with a lot of details, because all this was thought out in advance. It is important to think through the lies to the smallest detail, but you do not need to give them all away until you are asked.
The initial lies should be as short as possible.
Lies are often given not by words, but by actions. How to look to be believed?
1. Do not look away, but do not look directly into the pupils of the person to whom you are lying. Look at his face as a whole.
2. Smile (scientists say that when people tell the truth, they smile more often).
3. Watch yourself - the liar often touches himself by the buttons, pulls his own clothes, unconsciously scratches himself.
4. Control your own voice. Since lying is an energy-intensive process and requires the concentration of too many body systems, the voice of the lying becomes colorless and monotonous (the brain has no additional reserves to unconsciously control it). Therefore, you need to do it by force.
Add color to your voice, raise and lower the key, change the rhythm - try to sound truthful, that is, varied, how you would do it, telling an interesting truthful story.
5. Wave your arms - if you do. Lying often unconsciously limits movement and facial expressions. If you want to be believed - do not limit.
American psychologist Robert Feldman, who has dedicated his career to studying lies, claims that even the most truthful person, when talking to a stranger, lies on average four times in ten minutes. Interestingly, when talking with relatives or close friends, we cheat even more often.
Lying can be completely harmless - saying this, we do not even notice that we are lying (for example, "you look great"). And maybe serious - when we ourselves know that time (for example, "dear, I never cheated on you").
Most of us believe that they just cannot be deceived: we always know when they lie to us. This is not true.
Lianne Brink, a psychologist at the University of California, Berkeley, who studies lies, argues that it is almost impossible to understand that they are lying to you if the liar is capable. And her colleague from the University of San Francisco Paul Ekman conducted an experiment in which 15 thousand people participated. They were shown a video in which people lie and tell the truth, and asked to where they were lied to recognize. On average, less than half completed the task.
Whatever you teach your children, you yourself know very well that it is good to lie. By the way, a psychologist from the University of Massachusetts Robert Feldman conducted a very interesting study and found out that the most popular children in school are the ones who know how to lie well - because it is interesting to be with them. Indeed, we all have acquaintances who cheat voluptuously, with fantasy; and even knowing in advance that they are lying, we listen to them with great pleasure. But even in essence truthful people sometimes have to lie, even though they do not like to do it.
So, let's learn. What needs to be done to make people believe in your lies?
Weigh the pros and cons and make the final decision that you are lying. And after the decision has been made, do not doubt it anymore. Lies are very easy to identify precisely because of the inner doubts that torment the liar. Is it moral or immoral? Right or wrong? Honestly or not? It doesn't matter anymore. If you decide to lie, lie.
Before lying, think about what will happen if the truth turns out, and how likely it is at all. If you've lied about this particular topic before - and believed you - then you may be able to do the same thing again. Have you been caught in a lie by the people you plan to lie to? Are there any witnesses to the "truth" who could potentially undermine your story? And finally, what will happen if the truth is revealed. For example, if you are ten, think about why you will be punished more - for a deuce or for hiding it? If, after weighing all the circumstances, you nevertheless come to the conclusion that lying will be better than telling the truth, you need to lie.
It is very important to understand why you are lying at all. What do you want with this?
Remember that the less often you lie, the stronger your reputation as a "truthful" person, the more they will believe you.
And this means that if you do not exchange for petty lies and save this "capital" for the moment when you really need it, the effect will be stronger - no one will doubt you. In general, if you lie, lie in a big way.
Psychologist Dr. Cynthia Cohen did some research and found out what we already knew without her: the easiest way to fall for lies is when you tell a story for the first time. If you carefully work out all the details of the lie in advance, so that you do not have to invent anything on the spot, the probability of success increases several times. You have already lied to someone on this topic - and the second time you write about the same thing much more efficiently, because you have practiced.
Moreover, this time you are not creating lies (using parts of the brain that are responsible for creative processes), but remembering it - that is, doing exactly the same thing that you would do when retelling a true story.
The hardest thing is to identify lies that are not really lies. The more truthful facts in your story, the more difficult it will be to convict you that you are not telling the truth. Also, truthful facts lead the listener to ask fewer questions. And the fewer questions, the less likely you will be declassified.
The secret of a good liar is that he is very empathic. He perfectly sees and feels what is going on in the head of the one to whom he is lying. Different lies suit different people. Who are you going to lie to? What will he believe in sooner? Adapt the lie to the victim.
The story you are telling should be as short as possible. Liars often fail by telling endless stories with a lot of details, because all this was thought out in advance. It is important to think through the lies to the smallest detail, but you do not need to give them all away until you are asked.
The initial lies should be as short as possible.
If you need to lie to someone, do it right away. Do not start the conversation with any other topic, hoping that this will help you gather strength. Will not help. The first step is to lie, while the interlocutor has not yet looked closely at you, is not used to your gestures and does not know how to read the implications in your words. First lies - then the truth.
Bonus
Lies are often given not by words, but by actions. How to look to be believed?
1. Do not look away, but do not look directly into the pupils of the person to whom you are lying. Look at his face as a whole.
2. Smile (scientists say that when people tell the truth, they smile more often).
3. Watch yourself - the liar often touches himself by the buttons, pulls his own clothes, unconsciously scratches himself.
4. Control your own voice. Since lying is an energy-intensive process and requires the concentration of too many body systems, the voice of the lying becomes colorless and monotonous (the brain has no additional reserves to unconsciously control it). Therefore, you need to do it by force.
Add color to your voice, raise and lower the key, change the rhythm - try to sound truthful, that is, varied, how you would do it, telling an interesting truthful story.
5. Wave your arms - if you do. Lying often unconsciously limits movement and facial expressions. If you want to be believed - do not limit.
