How to get rid of negative parenting programming

[Teacher]

You have been offered a great job, but you are in no rush to agree. Father's imperious voice warns: “Well, where are you going? You can't do it! You've been learning to tie your shoelaces for a whole year! "And it doesn't matter that you are already far over thirty, and your father has long lived a thousand kilometers away from you. The" fail "setting works!

We carry through life many different programs that have been embedded in our brains since early childhood: a vase is broken - you are ALWAYS clumsy! , resignation - you will NEVER cope, loneliness - you ALWAYS look bad, poverty - you will NEVER be able to earn, a cold - you are ALWAYS sick, refusal - you ALWAYS do everything wrong! Many different attitudes from parents can pretty much ruin the life of already adult boys and girls.

How to rewrite negative programs?

To get rid of parental attitudes, we use counter-prescriptions and destroy the IMAGE of the installation (Attention! Not related to the image of the parents!).

1. Choose one of the parenting attitudes that excites you the most.

2. Listen to yourself. What part of your body are you experiencing discomfort? What does this setting look like in your body, what image does it take? What emotions, feelings does it evoke? Not to be confused with desires!

For example: Installation - you are "armless"; Sensations in the body: heavy hands, swelling, tingling; Image: spiky, heavy, metal gauntlets; Emotions and feelings: pain, depression, sadness, stiffness.

3. Check your image for truth. Strengthen it.

For example: The mittens became lead and huge, fused with the hands. There is a feeling of greater depression and despair, I want to cry.

Conclusion: the image is selected correctly. If there is no connection between image and emotion, then you are wishful thinking. Look for your personal image, to which you will emotionally react!

ATTENTION! For further work with the image, return it to its original state.

4. Mentally remove your image from the body and put it in front of you.

5. FIRMLY, CLEARLY, CONFIDENTLY say your counter-prescription (counter-command).

For example: I'm clever! I have a great grip! My hands obey me!

6. FIRMLY, CLEARLY, SECURE, QUIETLY inform the image about your new decision. At this stage, the image either becomes positive, or shrinks and disintegrates.

For example: Heavy, metal gloves begin to melt, spread over the tray, boil and disappear.

7. What has changed with the new installations? How are you feeling?

For example: There was a feeling of lightness, confidence, tingling in the hands disappeared, mobility in the joints appeared.

8. If your image has not disappeared, but has been transformed into another ... positive, then allow it to come closer to you and take the place where the negative prescriptions were.

9. Think about how you will act now? Imagine how your life will change? How good will it be for you?

10. Place your hand on your chest. Thank yourself for the work you have done and reinforce the result so that there is no chance of returning to the previous installation.

How much can the result be consolidated?

If you are satisfied with the work done and are sure that it is for your benefit, you can safely agree with yourself for any period of time from 1 day to 100 years. If you do not yet know how you will feel with the new settings, then think about a shorter period of time from 1 day, and further - as your intuition tells you.

This technique will allow you to get rid of the most persistent and most "uncomfortable" attitudes, such as parental prescriptions. Having mastered the simple rules of working with the image, you can feel like a truly adult and free person, you can live a more interesting, rich and tasty life.

 

[Brother]

Procrastination as a defense against negative emotions​

Traditionally, procrastination is considered to be such idleness, in which useful activities are postponed for later and time is engaged in useless activities.

The goal of combating procrastination is to force yourself to do the kind of usefulness that you absolutely do not want to do now. You can force yourself in different ways. For example, scare. Or bribe. These are basically two main classic ways of dealing with procrastination.

They are usually frightened by deadlines, fines and all kinds of deprivations. Bribe with buns, favorite entertainment, and permission to mess around after work Procrastination arises as a response to two competing needs. Both are ours. Both are for the good of the body.

One need is usually aimed at getting more pleasure later, later. The other gives a little pleasure, but now.

Such a conflict can be resolved quite simply. For example, give yourself time to laze now: One hour I play the fool, and then I sit down to work. This does not always work.

The fact is that freezing in messengers, watching videos, reading blogs may not be a need for information (as it seems at first glance), but a way to protect yourself from unpleasant emotions. Postponing an important and necessary task is postponing disappointment in yourself and in the wonderful expectations of a possible miracle.

For example, postponing learning a foreign language can postpone disappointment in your ability to comprehend everything quickly and easily. And then you can feel angry. By postponing the opening of your own business, you can postpone disappointment in yourself as in an effective businessman, when the business will not immediately bring the expected profit. And then you can feel hurt. Putting off an important conversation can postpone disappointment in yourself as an effective negotiator if the other person disagrees with you. And then you can feel ashamed.

And also anxiety, disgust, sadness, anger, melancholy, fear - the experience of these emotions you want to avoid while moving towards your dream. The illusion that you can prepare yourself for the beginning of the path so as not to face these “negative feelings” stops you. So procrastination protects you from the destructive power of negative experiences, allowing you to stay in a magical world where everything is fine, but nothing happens ...

In the end, you have two options for life. Or continue to defend against meeting negative emotions by postponing the task - “when I'm definitely ready for this task, I can do it simply and easily”. And then life can turn into preparation for life. Or you will risk facing your negative emotions and will be able to change your view of yourself in the world from illusory to real. And then, relying on your real abilities and compensating for your real deficit with external support, you will be able to make your dreams come true without putting them on an endless backlog.

P.S. Sometimes the support of a psychologist or a psychological group is necessary for a real experience of stopping emotions.