Lord777
Professional
- Messages
- 2,579
- Reaction score
- 1,491
- Points
- 113
? They must speak
After you have asked for something - or subtly hinted that you would like to - stop and let the person say whatever they want. "As soon as he begins to speak, he himself will discover the urgency of what you ask him for." The person will decide for himself that he needs to do what he is asked to do, without your persuasion. If only you speak, people will simply stop paying attention to what you say or take it as if they are being given directions, and they will not want to do what you want to do.
Encourage "filling in the blanks"
"Asking someone a question, you immediately trigger unconscious memories of how the person was once put in a difficult position by his parents, teachers or coaches, and thereby put yourself in opposition to the interlocutor." Then the person reflexively steps back.
To avoid this, insert your questions or ask to “fill in the blanks”. For example, when you ask the question, "What will you do about situation X?", You seem to be hinting: "You'd better know the answer, otherwise ..." This provokes confrontation. It is better to ask in a different tone - "And you are planning to undertake about this ...?"
With this approach, you involve the person in the sentence you uttered, rather than asking a question that prompts the other person to think that you are against him.
? Do not pull the blanket over you
A good way to get people to do what you need to do is to make them feel important. People are divided into two categories: some, sympathetic, develop the words of the interlocutor and add something to them, while others pull the blanket over themselves and either take the initiative to talk about themselves, or try to put themselves above the interlocutor. “Well, it looks like you had a pretty good trip to Florida. But we went to Fiji. "
The former make the interlocutor feel that his words are important, while the latter leave the impression that they are listening only in order to speak themselves, or even belittle the person.
For example, a sympathetic person will say, “What a great idea! Smart and creative. We can even go ahead and do X if you think it works. " And the one who pulls the blanket over himself will answer: “You have a good idea, but I actually already told the boss my version, and he liked him, so it’s probably better to do as I suggested.”
? Focus on the future
People don't like criticism. They become defensive when you deal with situations in which they have failed. So if you want a person to act differently in the future, do not dwell on the past. Better to say: "I want to say that in the future I will be very grateful if you could do this and that, it will be very useful for the whole team."
“Make it clear to the interlocutor that you will appreciate his efforts, explain why it is important to you. This allows people to feel that they are making a meaningful contribution to the common cause. "
After you have asked for something - or subtly hinted that you would like to - stop and let the person say whatever they want. "As soon as he begins to speak, he himself will discover the urgency of what you ask him for." The person will decide for himself that he needs to do what he is asked to do, without your persuasion. If only you speak, people will simply stop paying attention to what you say or take it as if they are being given directions, and they will not want to do what you want to do.
Encourage "filling in the blanks""Asking someone a question, you immediately trigger unconscious memories of how the person was once put in a difficult position by his parents, teachers or coaches, and thereby put yourself in opposition to the interlocutor." Then the person reflexively steps back.
To avoid this, insert your questions or ask to “fill in the blanks”. For example, when you ask the question, "What will you do about situation X?", You seem to be hinting: "You'd better know the answer, otherwise ..." This provokes confrontation. It is better to ask in a different tone - "And you are planning to undertake about this ...?"
With this approach, you involve the person in the sentence you uttered, rather than asking a question that prompts the other person to think that you are against him.
? Do not pull the blanket over you
A good way to get people to do what you need to do is to make them feel important. People are divided into two categories: some, sympathetic, develop the words of the interlocutor and add something to them, while others pull the blanket over themselves and either take the initiative to talk about themselves, or try to put themselves above the interlocutor. “Well, it looks like you had a pretty good trip to Florida. But we went to Fiji. "
The former make the interlocutor feel that his words are important, while the latter leave the impression that they are listening only in order to speak themselves, or even belittle the person.
For example, a sympathetic person will say, “What a great idea! Smart and creative. We can even go ahead and do X if you think it works. " And the one who pulls the blanket over himself will answer: “You have a good idea, but I actually already told the boss my version, and he liked him, so it’s probably better to do as I suggested.”
? Focus on the future
People don't like criticism. They become defensive when you deal with situations in which they have failed. So if you want a person to act differently in the future, do not dwell on the past. Better to say: "I want to say that in the future I will be very grateful if you could do this and that, it will be very useful for the whole team."
“Make it clear to the interlocutor that you will appreciate his efforts, explain why it is important to you. This allows people to feel that they are making a meaningful contribution to the common cause. "
