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Salute, carders, it happens that we need to start a conversation with some person-a friend or a stranger. Maybe we want to get some information from him that we need, or just want to get to know him, or even make friends. But we must be prepared for the fact that not everyone will readily pick up the conversation. Someone may not be in the mood to talk, someone just isn't very talkative by nature. Simple conversation techniques will help you get everyone talking, make contacts, and get as much information as you need.
Communication should start with a question – then even the most taciturn will say something. But it's important to ask the right question. To do this, you need to know that there are two types of questions – closed and open.
Give preference to open questions
Closed questions include questions that require only one of two answers: "yes" or"no". For example: "Do you like music?", " Have you lived in this house for a long time?", " Does this bus go to the metro?". If you come across a taciturn person, they will limit themselves to a brief "yes" or "no", and your communication will stall. If you continue to ask such closed-ended questions, which your interlocutor will only have to answer "yes" or "no", they may get the impression that they are being interrogated. From what to communicate with you he will not be very pleasant.
From the very beginning of the conversation, ask open-ended questions, that is, those that require a more detailed answer and cannot be answered only with "yes" or"no". For example: "What kind of music do you like best?", " When did you move into this house?", " Which route does this bus take?". The other person will not be able to limit themselves to a monosyllabic answer, and you can use this to clarify, ask again, and ask additional questions – and the conversation will start.
Talk less, listen more
Just don't make a common mistake: don't assume that if the other person is silent, then to maintain the conversation, you should chat non-stop in the hope that they will follow your example and start talking too. Alas, the opposite is more often the case: the more you talk, the more irreversibly your interlocutor falls silent. In addition, remember that non-stop chatter can be annoying, and the person will try to quickly get away from such communication.
To prevent this from happening, learn to listen carefully. Let your interlocutor speak little and monosyllabically-listen with interest, agree, nod to the beat of his words and in no case interrupt.
Ask questions that make you remember and think
If, no matter how hard you try, the conversation still does not start, use this proven technique: ask the other person a question that will make them remember something. And it is better that the memories are pleasant for him. To do this, it is best to refer to the times of his youth or childhood. For example: "What kind of music was popular when you were in school?" Most people like to remember, and it is possible that even a taciturn person will be inspired and tell you something interesting.
Then you can move from memories to questions that will make a person think. These are questions that start with the words: "What do you think...", " What do you think..."," What is your opinion...", etc. In response to such questions, a person will not be able to give a formal, template answer – he will have to think about it, express his point of view. That is, one way or another, it will begin to open up, overcome aloofness and isolation.
Be friendly
And do not forget about the main rule: conduct a conversation as kindly as possible. Remember: your task is not to show yourself, demonstrate your strengths and give the interlocutor as much information as possible, but to open up and share information with you.
But if the person explicitly lets you know that they are not in the mood for a conversation, do not insist. In this case, any attempts to get him to talk are inappropriate, except perhaps in situations where he is obliged to answer your questions on duty.
Workshop
Learn to communicate with anyone in any situation. Don't be afraid to fail or lose time. Communication skills are never superfluous, so any experience will benefit you.
When you arrive at the store, set out to get as much information as possible from even the most taciturn seller. Treat it lightly and simply, like a game. You can play the role of a complete layman, play along with the seller, saying:" You know, I don't understand anything about this technique, advise me as an expert... "Do not give up, even if he will give monosyllabic answers" yes"," no "or"I don't know".
Gradually, you will find it easier and easier to get anyone to talk. Try to establish mutually pleasant contact with a person who initially seemed unpleasant to you. Find something in it that you like! Let it be a small thing: hair color, some detail of clothing, gait, characteristic gesture ... Concentrate on what you are more or less pleased with, and forget about the rest – and engage in communication. It is possible that you will change your original opinion.
Once you have mastered the rules of a successful conversation, you will gradually begin to apply them unconsciously, and everything will work out by itself. You will begin to enjoy and benefit from communicating with anyone, without even thinking about how you do it. And this is already aerobatics!
Communication should start with a question – then even the most taciturn will say something. But it's important to ask the right question. To do this, you need to know that there are two types of questions – closed and open.
Give preference to open questions
Closed questions include questions that require only one of two answers: "yes" or"no". For example: "Do you like music?", " Have you lived in this house for a long time?", " Does this bus go to the metro?". If you come across a taciturn person, they will limit themselves to a brief "yes" or "no", and your communication will stall. If you continue to ask such closed-ended questions, which your interlocutor will only have to answer "yes" or "no", they may get the impression that they are being interrogated. From what to communicate with you he will not be very pleasant.
From the very beginning of the conversation, ask open-ended questions, that is, those that require a more detailed answer and cannot be answered only with "yes" or"no". For example: "What kind of music do you like best?", " When did you move into this house?", " Which route does this bus take?". The other person will not be able to limit themselves to a monosyllabic answer, and you can use this to clarify, ask again, and ask additional questions – and the conversation will start.
Talk less, listen more
Just don't make a common mistake: don't assume that if the other person is silent, then to maintain the conversation, you should chat non-stop in the hope that they will follow your example and start talking too. Alas, the opposite is more often the case: the more you talk, the more irreversibly your interlocutor falls silent. In addition, remember that non-stop chatter can be annoying, and the person will try to quickly get away from such communication.
To prevent this from happening, learn to listen carefully. Let your interlocutor speak little and monosyllabically-listen with interest, agree, nod to the beat of his words and in no case interrupt.
Ask questions that make you remember and think
If, no matter how hard you try, the conversation still does not start, use this proven technique: ask the other person a question that will make them remember something. And it is better that the memories are pleasant for him. To do this, it is best to refer to the times of his youth or childhood. For example: "What kind of music was popular when you were in school?" Most people like to remember, and it is possible that even a taciturn person will be inspired and tell you something interesting.
Then you can move from memories to questions that will make a person think. These are questions that start with the words: "What do you think...", " What do you think..."," What is your opinion...", etc. In response to such questions, a person will not be able to give a formal, template answer – he will have to think about it, express his point of view. That is, one way or another, it will begin to open up, overcome aloofness and isolation.
Be friendly
And do not forget about the main rule: conduct a conversation as kindly as possible. Remember: your task is not to show yourself, demonstrate your strengths and give the interlocutor as much information as possible, but to open up and share information with you.
But if the person explicitly lets you know that they are not in the mood for a conversation, do not insist. In this case, any attempts to get him to talk are inappropriate, except perhaps in situations where he is obliged to answer your questions on duty.
Workshop
Learn to communicate with anyone in any situation. Don't be afraid to fail or lose time. Communication skills are never superfluous, so any experience will benefit you.
When you arrive at the store, set out to get as much information as possible from even the most taciturn seller. Treat it lightly and simply, like a game. You can play the role of a complete layman, play along with the seller, saying:" You know, I don't understand anything about this technique, advise me as an expert... "Do not give up, even if he will give monosyllabic answers" yes"," no "or"I don't know".
Gradually, you will find it easier and easier to get anyone to talk. Try to establish mutually pleasant contact with a person who initially seemed unpleasant to you. Find something in it that you like! Let it be a small thing: hair color, some detail of clothing, gait, characteristic gesture ... Concentrate on what you are more or less pleased with, and forget about the rest – and engage in communication. It is possible that you will change your original opinion.
Once you have mastered the rules of a successful conversation, you will gradually begin to apply them unconsciously, and everything will work out by itself. You will begin to enjoy and benefit from communicating with anyone, without even thinking about how you do it. And this is already aerobatics!
