How to develop emotional intelligence: social skills you weren't taught in school?

[Lord777]

At school we were taught history, geography, mathematics and other subjects. But few people paid attention to the inner world, namely, how to correctly identify emotions and cope with them. And this is no less important than science.

American researcher Daniel Goleman determined that success depends on the ability to manage their emotions to a much greater extent than on mental ability.

For example, there are many entrepreneurs who have gathered and organized around themselves people many times smarter than themselves. It's about emotional intelligence - the ability to be aware of your feelings and emotions, use them and manage them to your advantage.

There is no scale that measures a person's emotional intelligence, but there are certain characteristics by which a person can be judged. Emotional intelligence is made up of these components.

What is emotional intelligence?

Self-awareness
Self-awareness includes understanding your own feelings. It is important to pay attention to how you build your thoughts, what you feel. This presupposes having an accurate assessment of what you are capable of and when you need help.

Self management
It is the ability to keep your emotions in check. In this case, the person can calmly discuss disagreements and avoid actions that may arise from feelings of pity or panic.

Motivation
A person should be motivated not only by monetary reward. He must do something in order to enjoy, satisfy curiosity, or just be useful.

Empathy
It is important to be able to read and understand other people's emotions and respond to them correctly.

Social skills
There are certain rules by which emotions arise. For example, understanding the reason why the interlocutor is now annoyed will allow you to first calm him down, and then get what you wanted from him.

Social skills help you be persuasive, connect with and manage others in your work environment.

How to develop emotional intelligence

Keep a diary
At the end of each day, write down what happened to you, how you felt, and how you dealt with it. Periodically look through the diary and draw conclusions.

Ask others
Ask loved ones questions about your strengths and weaknesses. Write down everything they said, compare it with your perception and look for patterns.

Pause
Pause before reacting to something. Two or three seconds will be enough for you to consider whether you are doing the right thing. That's why it's always easier to communicate online.

Channel emotions in the right direction
For example, if something doesn't work out for you, you get angry. Direct this anger towards achieving the result and do not give up in any case.

Determine what you really want out of life
Pay no attention to the generally accepted model of a successful person in society. Think about what you want.

Choose a person with whom you can consult in difficult situations. This person will support and will not let you be lazy and sorry for yourself.

Flexibility
During a conflict, take an interest in the other side's point of view. If you remain trapped in the cage of your own opinion, letting nothing in, then you will not leave any room for compromise.

Managing your emotions is sometimes more important than using your mind. Develop your emotional intelligence and you will see how you start to excel in life.

 

[Teacher]

The emotional component of change

Salute, carders, now we will talk about the emotional cycle of change.

Further from the author's words:

The Emotional Cycle of change.

The year demands change, and change doesn't add comfort. Therefore, it is very important to use your emotions in order not to lose your way. When we make the decision to change something in our lives, it feels like a roller coaster ride. The emotional cycle of change includes five stages of experience that we adapt to our goals. Any changes in life, regardless of their nature, develop in accordance with it. You can apply this cycle to any situation: new relationships, new purchases, a new job, or moving to a new place of residence.

There are five stages that people go through when changing their behavior:

1. Unfounded optimism.
2. Informed pessimism.
3. A moment of despair.
4. Informed optimism.
5. Success and self-realization.

The first stage.
The person is planning the next year. Writes goals, habits, plans, and ideas on paper or in an app. Changes are most often inspiring: we imagine the future in rainbow colors and do not yet know that everything has its price. We notice the positive aspects of change and don't see the negative ones, so we feel great. We have a lot of ideas, and we build optimistic strategies that we think will allow us to reach a new level and get the desired results. This condition does not last long.

The second stage.
Emotional pessimism, a negative emotional state. What's planned doesn't seem real anymore. We start to ask ourselves if the changes are really worth the effort, and we start to look for excuses to abandon the planned plan. And that's not all - it gets worse.

The third stage.
A moment of despair. Most rent here. Positive results seem far away or already unrealistic, and we have the only and easiest way to end the discomfort and return to the usual, monotonous, gray, and boring lifestyle. In the end, we come to the conclusion that it wasn't so bad before. A person chooses from two options the easiest one. Continue working or still give up, most choose the latter. And that's where all the dreams and plans come crashing down. At the most difficult stage, it is extremely important to have a convincing picture of the future.

The fourth stage.
Informed optimism. The probability of success increases greatly and we return. The main thing is not to stop there! It is very important.

The fifth stage.
Success and self-realization of the emotional cycle of change. The positive aspects of your behavioral model are already becoming apparent, and the cost is insignificant. Actions that were previously difficult and unpleasant for us are now familiar. Each time we complete a cycle, we increase not only our effectiveness, but also our self-esteem. It is much easier for us to move on to the next change in our work or personal life – and we are sure to achieve everything.

This cycle of change describes the emotional component of change.